Post by Elder Gohan on Oct 8, 2011 16:58:57 GMT -5
Welcome to SWC What What in WoS' Butt! Only the very best in Wrestling Entertainment, tonight promises to be a great night.
Opening match: Borat vs Krusty
*... Match bell & shit *
Here we go kicking off tonights action, Borat punching Krusty as he falls over, before being punted in the face. Krusty crawls into the turnbuckle area before sitting there & Borat running at him & misses a dropkick, already this one is explosive! Krusty uses his huge frame to squash the Kazakh with a splash cover... Only a one count, Krusty now lifting up Borat & dropping him to the canvas damn Krusty is slow, I think I could go faster than him! Borat with an inside cradle 1..2 kickout by Krusty, now on top of the clown Borat locks in a full nelson, Krusty slips out & goes behind huge german suplex lot of force used there, Borat not responding & Krusty boots him in the face before kneeling & just pounding his head. Borat is just taking it, I hope he doesn't regret his words earlier, just as I said it Borat takes control & starts a beatdown of his own, a sly knee to the gut & the beatdown resumes and again another knee to the gut of Krusty. Borat stops for a second before heading to the top rope. Borat jumps & diving leg drop! Both men are running on fumes, submission by Borat wrapping his legs around the head of the washed up clown "Tap you bastard!" Woah what a pottymouth! Anyway Krusty lifts him into the powerbomb position & carelessly drops Borat on his head. We will have to see if the match can continue. "Can you hear me Borat? Can you continue the match?" ...
"Call for the bell"
*MATCH STOPPED. THIS MATCH IS A DRAW*
Match 2: Snape vs Captain Carpentry
Kicking this intense grudge match off is the Captain with a kick to the gut & a punch to the face before stomping at the gut of Snape, the Captain is all fired up as expected now he's choking the hell out of Snape punching him while he does so, Snape counters with a nasal clamp lifting the Captain by the nostrils & aims a punch... MISSES, the Captain unleashes a flurry of punches, but Snape remains on his feet, BLATANT CHEATING by Snape gouging the eyes if this was WoS he'd have a public warning. Snape now has a toehold on the Captain, locking in tight. The Captain grabs the ropes 1..2...3...4 release by Snape & he locks it in again! 1...2...3...4 release again "One more & it's a disqualification Snape" the crowds loving that! Snape weakening that right leg of the Captain before he escapes the ring, the Captain taking a breather outside before grabbing a chair, It's No DQ Captain hit him & you lose! Lucky he's just rolling it inside the ring Snape runs at him & goes shoulderfirst straight into the ringpost. Can the Captain capitalise? he picks up the chair measuring Snape swing... EXPELLIARMUS! The chair goes flying out the hands of the Captain. Cover 1...2...3! Snape you bastard! Snape trying to dish it out here but the Captain low blows Snape & grabs the chair SMACK RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE OF SNAPE & ANOTHER. BEFORE THE HITS THE REBATE! The Captain walks off
Winner: Snape
Tag Team Title match: Chuckle Brothers (C) vs Mario Brothers
*...*
Match begins... Wait? To me... To You! Paul covers Luigi, Barry holds Mario 1..2..3! That had to be the quickest match I have ever seen! Did it technically count? I think it should. We might have to go to the video referee hell even the president of SWC himself. We'll mass confusion here if you have just tuned in, the Chuckle Brothers have pinned the Mario Brothers in under 10 seconds but is it official? How do we decide? This just in: *Voice on titantron* "Hello. Thank you for watching our PPV, it has come to my attention that there is a slight confusion as to what has just occured. After many minutes of looking through the official SWC Rulebook I have decided to award the pinfall to the reigning tag team champions, because while the match was brief the bell had indeed rung, therefore signalling the beginning of a bout." There we have it, the quickest tag match in history.
Intercontinental Title: The Stig vs Justin Bieber
The Stig folding it's arms in anticipation, Bieber freaks out & attacks it with a kick to the stomach, Bieber has it in a headlock then takes it down before attempting a boston crab, Stig rolls him up 1..2 kickout by Bieber. Stig with a drop toehold & applies an STF, Bieber reaches the ropes after a good struggle. Bieber strikes it across the forehead, Bieber with a takedown & is tightening down on the ribs of The Stig who stands up & falls back, crushing Bieber who rolls up Stig 1..2.. Kickout in the nick of time both men roll back and Stig capitalises with a dropkick, then a clothesline. All momentum with The Stig now & whips Bieber to the corner before charging at him hitting the followthrough splash & POWERLAP suplex connecting 1..2..3! The Stig retains the title but is this over by anymeans? Knowing Bieber he'll get another shot at the title. Well they shook hands & have huge respect for eachother, I think Stig has good judgement here, good wrestler but shite musician.
Hardcore match: James Bond vs Gun Jack
Gun Jack starting the match using those piston fists of his & he's used an uppercut on 007. Gun Jack lifting Bond & releases him in midair, but it looks like Bond slipped something on him maybe a gadget or a pocket bomb anyway Gun Jack has Bond trapped in the corner, he raises a hand & slaps the chest of Bond, 007 falls out of the ring Jack slowly following him. Bond has a stop sign & stuns him momentarily 007 again hitting the robot this time rapidly. 007 finds a chair, smacks Jack over the head but all it did was dent the chair "HAHAHAHA!" 007 is sweating, that armour is too tough for most superstars but he's doing well now. Both men slug it out to SWC offices trying out weapons on eachother, wait? What's he got... It's a TV! This time it does have an effect on Jack, his circuitry is frying! 007 looks at his watch & pushes a button Gun Jack screams "RRAAAA!" as he falls to the ground. Bond looks on with a smile as he's going to make a cover.... *Jack sits up* "JUST KIDDING BOND!" Jack throws a dinner tray at 007 before picking up a stapler & coshes him around the head, Jack wanting to finish this DIVE BOMBER INCOMING!! MISSED! Bond now has to capitalise, he plugs in a desk fan & places it over Gun Jack's head, slicing & scratching at his head OUCH! Bond removes the fan & smashes a lamp over his head. Gun Jack lifts himself up through the ceiling & boots 007 in the face before placing him under a treadmill & slams the folding treadmill over Bond! Gun Jack moves to halfway across the room & ANOTHER DIVE BOMBER! INCOMING!! BOOM BOTH MEN FALL THROUGH THE CEILING! Gun Jack makes a cover through the carnage 1..2..3! This wasn't a match, this was all out WAR! Take a look at the upstairs offices, we'll have to get a check on whether or not any employees working are injured, apparently at least 3 people are seriously injured.
Winner: Gun Jack
Main Event: Ronald McDonald vs Yoshimitsu
Yoshimitsu starts things off with a powerbomb, before pinning the clown for a one count. Yoshimitsu puts a submission on the left leg of McDonald after a minute, McDonald kicks out of it. McDonald pulls a Northern Lights suplex out of an attempted facelock by 'Mitsu. McDonald rolls back & tries a bridge pin 1..2.. Kickout. OOFT Kick to the head of 'Mitsu, McDonald now with a modified camel clutch, 'Mitsu may pass out if he's not careful. 'Mitsu lifts the clown and rams him into the turnbuckle & manages to shake off the clown & dishes out some abuse to him, Yoshimitsu fixes McDonald to the top rope & has his legs in the hurricanrana position & goes for it. Yoshimitsu runs up the other turnbuckle & backflip landing on McDonald, Yoshimitsu handstand & another moonsault this time missing McDonald, can he capitalise on a stupid mistake? Yes he can. McDonald with a suplex & pin 1..2.. kickout by 'Mitsu, a very agile kick to the face of McDonald & Yoshimitsu getting very cocky now setting up a Kangaroo Kick & the roll... The Kick MISSES. Perfect for a, McDonald can see it & indeed goes for the MCSLAM! Cover 1..2..3! Ronald McDonald retains the SWC Championship. *McDonald grabs a mic* "Yoshimitsu, your lack of respect for the SWC fans, for your opponents & for me. Now you can apologise to everyone, or else you'll suffer beatdown after beatdown. *'Mitsu* "You SWC fans are nothing but scum, I only fuck up in my matches because of these morons yelling." McDonald throws him out the ring much to the delight of the SWC fans.
Winner: Ronald McDonald
Thanks for watching SWC What What in WoS Butt. Goodnight from everyone at SWC!
Opening match: Borat vs Krusty
*... Match bell & shit *
Here we go kicking off tonights action, Borat punching Krusty as he falls over, before being punted in the face. Krusty crawls into the turnbuckle area before sitting there & Borat running at him & misses a dropkick, already this one is explosive! Krusty uses his huge frame to squash the Kazakh with a splash cover... Only a one count, Krusty now lifting up Borat & dropping him to the canvas damn Krusty is slow, I think I could go faster than him! Borat with an inside cradle 1..2 kickout by Krusty, now on top of the clown Borat locks in a full nelson, Krusty slips out & goes behind huge german suplex lot of force used there, Borat not responding & Krusty boots him in the face before kneeling & just pounding his head. Borat is just taking it, I hope he doesn't regret his words earlier, just as I said it Borat takes control & starts a beatdown of his own, a sly knee to the gut & the beatdown resumes and again another knee to the gut of Krusty. Borat stops for a second before heading to the top rope. Borat jumps & diving leg drop! Both men are running on fumes, submission by Borat wrapping his legs around the head of the washed up clown "Tap you bastard!" Woah what a pottymouth! Anyway Krusty lifts him into the powerbomb position & carelessly drops Borat on his head. We will have to see if the match can continue. "Can you hear me Borat? Can you continue the match?" ...
"Call for the bell"
*MATCH STOPPED. THIS MATCH IS A DRAW*
Match 2: Snape vs Captain Carpentry
Kicking this intense grudge match off is the Captain with a kick to the gut & a punch to the face before stomping at the gut of Snape, the Captain is all fired up as expected now he's choking the hell out of Snape punching him while he does so, Snape counters with a nasal clamp lifting the Captain by the nostrils & aims a punch... MISSES, the Captain unleashes a flurry of punches, but Snape remains on his feet, BLATANT CHEATING by Snape gouging the eyes if this was WoS he'd have a public warning. Snape now has a toehold on the Captain, locking in tight. The Captain grabs the ropes 1..2...3...4 release by Snape & he locks it in again! 1...2...3...4 release again "One more & it's a disqualification Snape" the crowds loving that! Snape weakening that right leg of the Captain before he escapes the ring, the Captain taking a breather outside before grabbing a chair, It's No DQ Captain hit him & you lose! Lucky he's just rolling it inside the ring Snape runs at him & goes shoulderfirst straight into the ringpost. Can the Captain capitalise? he picks up the chair measuring Snape swing... EXPELLIARMUS! The chair goes flying out the hands of the Captain. Cover 1...2...3! Snape you bastard! Snape trying to dish it out here but the Captain low blows Snape & grabs the chair SMACK RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE OF SNAPE & ANOTHER. BEFORE THE HITS THE REBATE! The Captain walks off
Winner: Snape
Tag Team Title match: Chuckle Brothers (C) vs Mario Brothers
*...*
Match begins... Wait? To me... To You! Paul covers Luigi, Barry holds Mario 1..2..3! That had to be the quickest match I have ever seen! Did it technically count? I think it should. We might have to go to the video referee hell even the president of SWC himself. We'll mass confusion here if you have just tuned in, the Chuckle Brothers have pinned the Mario Brothers in under 10 seconds but is it official? How do we decide? This just in: *Voice on titantron* "Hello. Thank you for watching our PPV, it has come to my attention that there is a slight confusion as to what has just occured. After many minutes of looking through the official SWC Rulebook I have decided to award the pinfall to the reigning tag team champions, because while the match was brief the bell had indeed rung, therefore signalling the beginning of a bout." There we have it, the quickest tag match in history.
Intercontinental Title: The Stig vs Justin Bieber
The Stig folding it's arms in anticipation, Bieber freaks out & attacks it with a kick to the stomach, Bieber has it in a headlock then takes it down before attempting a boston crab, Stig rolls him up 1..2 kickout by Bieber. Stig with a drop toehold & applies an STF, Bieber reaches the ropes after a good struggle. Bieber strikes it across the forehead, Bieber with a takedown & is tightening down on the ribs of The Stig who stands up & falls back, crushing Bieber who rolls up Stig 1..2.. Kickout in the nick of time both men roll back and Stig capitalises with a dropkick, then a clothesline. All momentum with The Stig now & whips Bieber to the corner before charging at him hitting the followthrough splash & POWERLAP suplex connecting 1..2..3! The Stig retains the title but is this over by anymeans? Knowing Bieber he'll get another shot at the title. Well they shook hands & have huge respect for eachother, I think Stig has good judgement here, good wrestler but shite musician.
Hardcore match: James Bond vs Gun Jack
Gun Jack starting the match using those piston fists of his & he's used an uppercut on 007. Gun Jack lifting Bond & releases him in midair, but it looks like Bond slipped something on him maybe a gadget or a pocket bomb anyway Gun Jack has Bond trapped in the corner, he raises a hand & slaps the chest of Bond, 007 falls out of the ring Jack slowly following him. Bond has a stop sign & stuns him momentarily 007 again hitting the robot this time rapidly. 007 finds a chair, smacks Jack over the head but all it did was dent the chair "HAHAHAHA!" 007 is sweating, that armour is too tough for most superstars but he's doing well now. Both men slug it out to SWC offices trying out weapons on eachother, wait? What's he got... It's a TV! This time it does have an effect on Jack, his circuitry is frying! 007 looks at his watch & pushes a button Gun Jack screams "RRAAAA!" as he falls to the ground. Bond looks on with a smile as he's going to make a cover.... *Jack sits up* "JUST KIDDING BOND!" Jack throws a dinner tray at 007 before picking up a stapler & coshes him around the head, Jack wanting to finish this DIVE BOMBER INCOMING!! MISSED! Bond now has to capitalise, he plugs in a desk fan & places it over Gun Jack's head, slicing & scratching at his head OUCH! Bond removes the fan & smashes a lamp over his head. Gun Jack lifts himself up through the ceiling & boots 007 in the face before placing him under a treadmill & slams the folding treadmill over Bond! Gun Jack moves to halfway across the room & ANOTHER DIVE BOMBER! INCOMING!! BOOM BOTH MEN FALL THROUGH THE CEILING! Gun Jack makes a cover through the carnage 1..2..3! This wasn't a match, this was all out WAR! Take a look at the upstairs offices, we'll have to get a check on whether or not any employees working are injured, apparently at least 3 people are seriously injured.
Winner: Gun Jack
Main Event: Ronald McDonald vs Yoshimitsu
Yoshimitsu starts things off with a powerbomb, before pinning the clown for a one count. Yoshimitsu puts a submission on the left leg of McDonald after a minute, McDonald kicks out of it. McDonald pulls a Northern Lights suplex out of an attempted facelock by 'Mitsu. McDonald rolls back & tries a bridge pin 1..2.. Kickout. OOFT Kick to the head of 'Mitsu, McDonald now with a modified camel clutch, 'Mitsu may pass out if he's not careful. 'Mitsu lifts the clown and rams him into the turnbuckle & manages to shake off the clown & dishes out some abuse to him, Yoshimitsu fixes McDonald to the top rope & has his legs in the hurricanrana position & goes for it. Yoshimitsu runs up the other turnbuckle & backflip landing on McDonald, Yoshimitsu handstand & another moonsault this time missing McDonald, can he capitalise on a stupid mistake? Yes he can. McDonald with a suplex & pin 1..2.. kickout by 'Mitsu, a very agile kick to the face of McDonald & Yoshimitsu getting very cocky now setting up a Kangaroo Kick & the roll... The Kick MISSES. Perfect for a, McDonald can see it & indeed goes for the MCSLAM! Cover 1..2..3! Ronald McDonald retains the SWC Championship. *McDonald grabs a mic* "Yoshimitsu, your lack of respect for the SWC fans, for your opponents & for me. Now you can apologise to everyone, or else you'll suffer beatdown after beatdown. *'Mitsu* "You SWC fans are nothing but scum, I only fuck up in my matches because of these morons yelling." McDonald throws him out the ring much to the delight of the SWC fans.
Winner: Ronald McDonald
Thanks for watching SWC What What in WoS Butt. Goodnight from everyone at SWC!
