Post by Elder Gohan on Oct 30, 2011 15:03:34 GMT -5
*In memory of the SWC Referee 1972-2011*
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE ARE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, BRINGING YOU SWC FRIGHT NIGHT!
Match 1: Captain Carpentry vs Peter Griffin
Both men start off by shaking hands but the captain takes advantage by locking Peter in a headlock then releases him just to put him in a hammerlock followed by a back suplex. The Captain taking an advantage early on Peter should get a start on his opponent soon, Peter just as I said it manages to counter submission attempt with a chop to the chest followed by another chop before whipping him into the turnbuckle, the captain lifts his feet up & catches Peter in the jaw Captain Carpentry then locks his legs around the head of Peter before letting go of the ropes & hurricanrana! Both men down. Both men make it back to their feet, before a couple of throws by both competitors, Peter Griffin surprising the world with his ability chain wrestling left & right by both men! Severus Snape, standing on the stage just watching his arch rival; Captain Carpentry. Captain Carpentry eventually gets the upper hand with a take down & now has a seated abdominal stretch locked in tight, Captain takes a few minutes but breaks out just to be powerbombed straight into the canvas! Peter signalling the end here, Captain to his feet... And Peter runs straight into a left boot, he's out cold PIN HIM! Uh oh, he's noticed Snape & the captain is calling him in the ring! Captain Carpentry is angry he could kill Snape here! But Snape walks off & hey wait 1.2.3! Peter Griffin rolls up the Captain but he's not celebrating the victory he feels bad. *Peter grabs a mic*
Peter: "Hey Captain, I'm sorry pal. I didn't wanna hurt ya, so I just rolled you up and such."
Captain: "It's 'ugh' OK dear friend. I'm certain I would have done the exact same."
Winner: Peter Griffin
Match 2: IC Title cage match Stig (c) vs Osama bin Laden
Both combatants prepare for the structure to be lowered. But they aren't waiting, both men trade blows the cage is lowered Bin Laden cowering away begging Stig not to hurt him. Stig ain't listening, it kicks Bin Laden in the jaw as he wriggles to the corner, sneaky tactic by Bin Laden ramming the helmet of the Stig *provides no protection by the way* against the mesh of the cage, Bin Laden climbing the cage but he lost footing & slipped, Stig misses a chance to go ahead in the match missing a dropkick & being locked in the CAMEL CLUTCH, Stig taps but you can't score a victory this way escaping the cage is the only way. Bin Laden knows this so he lets go & starts punching him repeatedly, Stig manages to pull himself up via the second rope while Bin Laden tries to nail Stig with a splash & lands ribs first into the cage and bounced off! Can Stig capitalise? Yes he can, left punch followed by a right then another left before a huge elbow to the face, Stig may not be american being from British Parts Unknown put he hates Bin Laden just as much as anyone else OHHH! Stig slamming Bin Laden's face against the cage door, inadvertently opening it. Stig props Bin Laden on the top rope what a superplex! Stig lifts his opponent up setting him up for the powerlap, Bin Laden pokes Stig in the visor but it remains in control Osama pushes both towards the corner & POWERLAP near the corner & Osama is catapulted over the ropes & NO NOT THIS WAY, NEVER NO NO NO NO NOOOOO! If this decision stands, we have a new Intercontinental Champion. We'll head to the video referee **DECISION: NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION** NO YOU BASTARD, YOU ARSEHOLE BASTARD! THE STIG HAS BEEN SCREWED OUT OF THE TITLE!
Winner: Osama Bin Laden (New Champion)
Match 3: Tag Team Title Match: Chuckle Brothers vs Homer Simpson & Yoshimitsu
Paul Chuckle starts off this time, Paul Chuckle lands a left then a right & another elbow to the skull & dropkick to the face of 'Mitsu. Chuckle Brothers are the best team in SWC if you ask me, but there aren't many teams. Excuse me rambling on, as Paul Chuckle dominating using many moves & tagging Barry in as he takes over clubbing the back of Yoshimitsu. Barry calls in Paul for a brief talk before directing Paul who goes for the TO ME TO YOU! This early in the match cover by Paul 1.2.3! What a shit effort by Homer Simpson, here's the SWC president & he's not happy.
President: "SIMPSON! That wasn't even an attempt at a match. Yoshimitsu, I'll deal with you later... Simpson stay here, you will have another match & you will face Borat!" "Oh & did I mention, if you lose... YOU'RE FIRED!"
Winner: Chuckle Brothers
Borat starts off the matchup well, but Homer is too strong for him & just clubs him across the back & starts overwhelming Borat. Borat gets a couple moves in but Homer is again too resilient & gets up again knocking Borat down with a huge clothesline, Homer just slings Borat in the corner, Homer in the opposite end runs & hits Borat's face arse first. Cover 1.2.3! Homer keeps his job as Borat recieves his first loss! President: "You see Homer, I know what you're capable of. You certainly outdone yourself there, I'm proud of you." Homer: "Shut up, you're putting me through hell for no reason. I'm not gonna stand for this & the fans can kiss my ass."
President: "Have it your way. You'll find out what awaits you tomorrow."
Winner: Homer Simpson
Louis Spence vs Justin Bieber: Hardcore match
Match bell starts as Louis Spence has a makeup mirror in his hand & smashes it over Bieber's head, Spence finds a wheelie bin under the ring throwing it at Bieber, before finding two more thowing them in the ring. Spence puts Bieber in one of the bins & slams the lid on his head before lifting it again & slam! Spence lifts it a 3rd time... Bieber not in it! He pops out of a different bin but just stands there Spence slams him down again before moving the bins around! Spence: "GUESS WHICH ONE HE'S IN!" lid no.1? "NOO!" lid no.2? "NOO!" lid no.3 "YEES!" and slams the lid on Bieber's head. Louis Spence on the top rope now looking to attack Bieber whos still in the bin & Bieber moves, Spence gets a rib full of bin! Bieber puts Spence in the bin & throws both out of the ring! Bieber grabs a commentators chair & puts Spence in it & spins him around YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY! Bieber then grabs a steel chair & wallops Spence. Bieber gets a portrait of Spence which was under the ring... POW right on the head, of Spence. Bieber has a hockey stick SMACK right on the jaw, both "men" still out the ring Bieber grabbing a cookie sheet & WHY AM I A SHOOTING STAR PRESS! 1.2.3! Good effort by Spence but Bieber wins his first hardcore match!
Winner: Justin Bieber
Main Event: Ronald McDonald vs Gabriel Logan
Both men start off with a handshake, but Logan wants the title. McDonald starts with a suplex then a leg drop across the face of Logan, McDonald misses an elbow drop Logan rolls out of the way... Remember, no OHW "superstars" should interrupt unless they want to be sued out their skin! Oh look I'm waffling again both men wrestling as usual an... NO STOP GET OFF ME AHHH! *Sounds of interference and faults* Hay its mee REYY! I'm commentitin dis shit her, dat McD man kickin da ass off da ovver won & hes winnin oh no now hes not im such an assbox by not payin attenton lol GET OFF ME I HURT U MAN *more sounds of interference* Sorry about that, I'm back & it seems I have missed alot. But before we rejoin & recap on the action folks I have to apologise for Rey's actions, someone backstage allowed him to escape his cage. So back to the action, It looked like Gabriel Logan has a huge advantage but Ronald McDonald now has an advantage, wrestling going on everywher! Shut up Rey! Anyway, we are at the 15 minute mark in this encounter Logan tries THE DEVIL'S WHISPER overdoes it & misses Ronald counters with the MCSLAM Cover 1.2.3! Ronald McDonald retains in an epic encounter, but I missed most of it. Thanks Rey you assbox. Ronald McDonald still SWC Champion!
Winner: Ronald McDonald
