Post by Elder Gohan on Jan 9, 2012 15:02:04 GMT -5
WELCOME TO SWC RAWR! LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERESHIRE! BRINGING YOU ALL THE BEST IN SWC ACTION!
Match 1: Mario vs Louis Spence
AGH, why does Mario keep getting televised matches? Everyone knows that Louis Spence will win tonight & Spence slams him to the canvas, hey does anyone know when Peter Griffin & Spider-Man return from their tour of Japan? It will save us from watching Mario week in, week out. Anyway, Mario is trying hard tonight (well he always tries hard, but is shit) to get his 3rd SWC victory, shocking isn't it? I'm currently 1 win behind Mario & undefeated, but Mario's size advantage doesn't last long and Louis Spence covers Mario 1.2.3!
... I... FOR FUCK SAKE MARIO, DO YOU EVER FUCKING WIN ANYTHING...
Winner: Louis Spence (surprise surprise)
Match 2: Captain Carpentry vs Darth Vader
Well, Darth Vader has a poor record but he isn't a tit like Mario. Vader has won matches all around the world, but Captain Carpentry is no push over, at the moment he isn't proving his worth Captain Carpentry pushing Vader aside and wrestles Vader to the ground, using that background to the best his knowledge. So the captain also has a background in carpentry as his name suggests, rumour has it that Captain Carpentry built this whole arena in a week. But anyway Vader punches the captain on the nose & he's used THE FORCE 1.2.3! Darth Vader wins a match, but can he become consistent (Mario is consistent, consistently SHIT!)
Winner: Darth Vader
Match 3: Borat vs Krusty
If there had to be a superstar worse than Mario, it has to be Krusty. Krusty doesn't even try, Borat brings Krusty down with an armdrag and locks in an armbar. But, why is Krusty still here? apart from getting his arse kicked everywhere he goes everyone hates him, even Carol Beer & shes the receptionist! Borat is outwrestling Krusty, can Borat just hurry up & kick his arse already, Krusty actually gets a punch in but this only fires up Borat who initiates a beatdown, chop to the chest & whipped into the corner. Borat isn't the best star on the roster but he could get an IC title shot in the future. Borat ends the contest with a Kazakhstani Krush 1.2.3!
Borat: "Krusty you shame SWC like an Uzbekistani prostitute who look like dog!" "You will challenge me to match at next PPV, I talk with boss, he say you no show up, you FIRED! You lose fight you are FIRED!"
Match 4: Edd & Eddy vs Little Britain
Well, Little Britain are still tag team champions but they know they face a huge task in the Chuckle Brothers, but tonight the veterans are getting the better of Edd & Eddy. Edd maneuvers around Lou, wrapping his legs around the arms of Lou... 1.2.3! The referee counts the fall & Lou springs to his feet just to attack Eddy & Double D, Andy follows up with a Spear... Little Britain are laying into the Eds wait... It's Ed & The Chuckle Brothers! They have made the save, the number one contenders frightening the champions away!
Winner: Edd & Eddy
Match 5: Ronald McDonald vs Gun Jack
Ronald McDonald goes into this match as well as he does any match, but tonight he faces SWC's biggest superstar 7'2" nearly 400 lbs Gun Jack, McDonald has become the first SWC superstar to bring Gun Jack to it's knees without the use of weapons & Jack shoves McDonald to the corner, McDonald counters. Say what's all this about George just getting an SWC title shot, doesn't he know that you have to earn your opportunities. Anyway McDonald is all fired up, but takes a moment to soak up the crowds cheers. Off topic, I wish George could give me a makeover... JAMES MAY, WHY DID YOU JUST BLINDSIDE RONALD MCDONALD *bell rings* Oh and May is giving McDonald some CLUTCH CONTROL, McDonald is tapping out & screaming in pain, oh look who showed up. I knew George was behind this
George: " Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie... If you're not going to grant me a title match, I'll make you give me one! Oh and your clothes suck too, Rey has more style sense...."
Match 1: Mario vs Louis Spence
AGH, why does Mario keep getting televised matches? Everyone knows that Louis Spence will win tonight & Spence slams him to the canvas, hey does anyone know when Peter Griffin & Spider-Man return from their tour of Japan? It will save us from watching Mario week in, week out. Anyway, Mario is trying hard tonight (well he always tries hard, but is shit) to get his 3rd SWC victory, shocking isn't it? I'm currently 1 win behind Mario & undefeated, but Mario's size advantage doesn't last long and Louis Spence covers Mario 1.2.3!
... I... FOR FUCK SAKE MARIO, DO YOU EVER FUCKING WIN ANYTHING...
Winner: Louis Spence (surprise surprise)
Match 2: Captain Carpentry vs Darth Vader
Well, Darth Vader has a poor record but he isn't a tit like Mario. Vader has won matches all around the world, but Captain Carpentry is no push over, at the moment he isn't proving his worth Captain Carpentry pushing Vader aside and wrestles Vader to the ground, using that background to the best his knowledge. So the captain also has a background in carpentry as his name suggests, rumour has it that Captain Carpentry built this whole arena in a week. But anyway Vader punches the captain on the nose & he's used THE FORCE 1.2.3! Darth Vader wins a match, but can he become consistent (Mario is consistent, consistently SHIT!)
Winner: Darth Vader
Match 3: Borat vs Krusty
If there had to be a superstar worse than Mario, it has to be Krusty. Krusty doesn't even try, Borat brings Krusty down with an armdrag and locks in an armbar. But, why is Krusty still here? apart from getting his arse kicked everywhere he goes everyone hates him, even Carol Beer & shes the receptionist! Borat is outwrestling Krusty, can Borat just hurry up & kick his arse already, Krusty actually gets a punch in but this only fires up Borat who initiates a beatdown, chop to the chest & whipped into the corner. Borat isn't the best star on the roster but he could get an IC title shot in the future. Borat ends the contest with a Kazakhstani Krush 1.2.3!
Borat: "Krusty you shame SWC like an Uzbekistani prostitute who look like dog!" "You will challenge me to match at next PPV, I talk with boss, he say you no show up, you FIRED! You lose fight you are FIRED!"
Match 4: Edd & Eddy vs Little Britain
Well, Little Britain are still tag team champions but they know they face a huge task in the Chuckle Brothers, but tonight the veterans are getting the better of Edd & Eddy. Edd maneuvers around Lou, wrapping his legs around the arms of Lou... 1.2.3! The referee counts the fall & Lou springs to his feet just to attack Eddy & Double D, Andy follows up with a Spear... Little Britain are laying into the Eds wait... It's Ed & The Chuckle Brothers! They have made the save, the number one contenders frightening the champions away!
Winner: Edd & Eddy
Match 5: Ronald McDonald vs Gun Jack
Ronald McDonald goes into this match as well as he does any match, but tonight he faces SWC's biggest superstar 7'2" nearly 400 lbs Gun Jack, McDonald has become the first SWC superstar to bring Gun Jack to it's knees without the use of weapons & Jack shoves McDonald to the corner, McDonald counters. Say what's all this about George just getting an SWC title shot, doesn't he know that you have to earn your opportunities. Anyway McDonald is all fired up, but takes a moment to soak up the crowds cheers. Off topic, I wish George could give me a makeover... JAMES MAY, WHY DID YOU JUST BLINDSIDE RONALD MCDONALD *bell rings* Oh and May is giving McDonald some CLUTCH CONTROL, McDonald is tapping out & screaming in pain, oh look who showed up. I knew George was behind this
George: " Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie... If you're not going to grant me a title match, I'll make you give me one! Oh and your clothes suck too, Rey has more style sense...."
