Post by Elder Gohan on Jan 22, 2012 13:20:06 GMT -5
This is it, the (2nd) BIG ONE! The winner of tonight's main event gets a title shot at Fluck-The-CluckaMania 1! Welcome to the middle of nowhere again!
Match 1: Peter Griffin vs Gun Jack: Hardcore rules
Match begins as Peter gets a folding chair & wallops it through Gun Jack's metal head, causing huge vibrations. Do both men know what they're doing? I hope that even though carnage is being created, that both men make it to the Bumble tonight as Gun Jack uses his arse to crush Peter's ribs, Gun Jack is heading out of the ring & grabs a weapon from the crowd, why he grabs a £5 toy belt I have no clue... Peter Griffin gets a mouthful of plastic belt, as Gun Jack ascends the top corner... DIVE BOMBER from the top corner... The ring is reinforced for tonight, cover 1.2.3! Peter Griffin fought hard on his return, but it wasn't enough.
Winner: Gun Jack
Match 2: Captain Carpentry vs Louis Spence I.C Title match
Louis Spence has gone on record saying he wants a title, but will he beat fellow face superstar Captain Carpentry? Well it looks like he is going to, as it is quite rare to see Captain Carpentry start off slower & he ends up eating turnbuckle, Louis Spence is dancing in the ring. He loves to dance that man, but he should be wrapping the match up HUGE clothesline from the captain, damn I felt that one from the commentary box, Captain Carpentry saluting the fans for a brief moment before taking the fight to Louis Spence, this is something we haven't ever seen from the captain, he has never been this angry he should calm down, Louis Spence counters a knee to the gut & wraps his leg over captains knee, the captain headbutts Spence's back & REBATE POWERBOMB outta nowhere... Cover, 1.2.3 Captain Carpentry retains the I.C Title, both men to their feet as Captain Carpentry extends his hand & Louis Spence respects him by shaking hands!
Winner: Captain Carpentry
Match 3: SWC Championship: Ronald McDonald vs George
Well, this is what we've been waiting for... SWC Champion Ronald McDonald to respond to George's challenge, he has responded! Ronald McDonald kickin' ass! But George forces McDonald's error & whacks his head into an exposed turnbuckle. George grabbing a mic "This is now a hell in a cell match! Lower the cell honey"
That cell is being lowered, I also like George's snakeskin suit. He should give me tips... McDonald using the steel steps as a weapon. *clonk* That sounded brutal, can George fight back? Unbelievable, 2 months ago I was doubting George would even step in an SWC ring... Now he just stood up to Ronald McDonald, this time Ronald places George's head onto the steel steps, George is bleeding! Not a good look for him... McDonald has a chair & MISSES George, McDonald still vibrating FACECRUSHER, we might see a new champion... Cover 1...2.... 3! NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION, GEORGE IS THE NEW SWC CHAMPION! The fans don't like this one bit, I don't either (I would if George gave me fashion advice) but George did it.
Winner: George (New Champion)
Main Event: The Bumble Match
This is it, the moment you all have been waiting for, careers will be made. Because of the circumstances of the previous match Ronald McDonald will be entering tonight. Who will be the tosser who drew #1? It's Mario... Fuck sake, why not just put a carrier bag in the ring, who will have the honour of hauling Mario's arse out at #2? Shrek! Mario you are fucked tbh.
Oh look, Mario is... GONE ALREADY, shit effort mate. Shrek is going to sit in the middle of the ring, as he waits for the third pick well he won't have to wait long... #3 is Louis Spence! They have history as Shrek nearly eliminates Spence, bearing in mind that Shrek has never beaten Spence at anytime, these two aren't holding back... Shrek eliminated as #4 Spider-Man enters! How will this affect the match, face crusher to Spidey. Louis Spence is on fire tonight, back and forth between the two
#5 coolly approches the ring, we know it's 007, James Bond! Spence still with the momentum, but can he last it? 007, tries to throw Spence over... HES GONE! Spidey & Mario continue to wrestle but 32 seconds later, entrant #6 Gabriel Logan approaches the ring, Bond survives for now 007 & Bond working together again, but it didn't last. Logan & Spidey fail to eliminate 007 as OH SHIT! #7 is GUN JACK. The biggest superstar on the roster, at 7' 2" nearly 400 pounds.
all three men in the ring have froze! 007, Spider-Man looks finished... 007 eliminates Logan! #8 Borat! Makes his way to the ring... Spider-Man, 007, Borat & Logan helping to eliminate Jack! FAIL, boot to Spidey's skull, Spidey survives an attempt. Osama bin Laden draws #9, Spider-Man & Borat lifting Gun Jack onto the turnbuckle 007 dropkicks & ALL THREE MEN HAVE ELIMINATED GUN JACK! So far James Bond looks the likeliest to win the bumble match.
Just as I said it, Bond gets eliminated along with Spider-Man, a double elimination, #10 storms the ring it's none other than the Stig! Expect a fast paced match, Stig & Borat attempt to tip Osama over but Osama wriggles out of it accidentally eliminating Borat. Who is number 11? Wait, I know that music... IT'S HOMER SIMPSON! We thought he was fired! But he's back & attacks the Stig, they all hold on by wrestling in the centre of the ring, how boring but #12 should spruce this up a bit... Peter Griffin makes his entrance, screw tactical wrestling as Peter Griffin eliminates Osama bin Laden.
Homer Simpson is making the crowd angry by yelling foul language at The Stig who just flods his arms at him, Peter jumps them both. #13 Unlucky for... Ronald McDonald, it isn't gonna be his night. poor soul, losing the title & entering at #13, it's a massive brawl at the moment only a single suplex by Ronald McDonald on the Stig, as #14 makes way... Justin Bieber who wastes no time in going after Peter Griffin, Justin Bieber has been on the recent Japanese tour along with Peter Griffin, #15 FUCK OFF, IT'S KRUSTY and Homer Simpson eliminated by The Stig, Low Blow by Krusty on Justin Bieber.
What an arsehole, can't fight fairly. Even if it's Justin Bieber, I hope Gun Jack & Peter Griffin sit on your head, The Stig just survives an attempt. Halfway through the match. #16 one of my favourite numbers is... Luigi, the talented Mario brother runs to the ring & eliminates Peter Griffin with his first strike! See, that's talent! As he starts building momentum by punching everyone that moves, man Ronald McDonald eliminated by a dropkick from the Stig, why is Krusty still in there? And Krusty eliminates the Stig.
#17 CAPTAIN CARPENTRY (Bieber eliminated) walks to the ring slowly, KRUSTY THREW HIMSELF OUT YES, GET FUCKED YOU PRICK! This is now the time to see Luigi and the Captain wrestle for a few minutes as #18 James May enters, it will be interesting to see 3 wrestling specialists go at it for a few minutes. Luigi was overpowered by the captain & eliminated (better than Mario) but James May, assaulted the captain for the last 2 weeks & tried to get George to have sex with the captain. Anyway, these two men like a showdown as #19 BARRY SCOTT storms the ring, Shining Wizard to May followed by a rebate powerbomb over the top rope! May is outta there. *SHOCK OF THE BUMBLE* Barry Scott eliminates Captain Carpentry, this is technically Barry Scott's debut!
Barry Scott is over the moon! We'll see who #20 is & it's... EDDY! That short kid owes me 25p as huge kick by Barry Scott, these two are kicking eachother to death, but it looks spectacular. I could do those, well I can make the noises at least, #21 wow, pure coincidence... It's Edd! Who saves Eddy from being eliminated & shoves Barry Scott out the way & Eddy tries to eliminate Edd, OH MY GOD, FREAKY! #22 is none other than ED! All three Ed's in the ring, at once! Ed & Eddy gang up on Barry Scott. Eddy eliminated by Edd as Barry Chuckle #23 makes his entrance! It was quick as Ed & Barry Chuckle eliminate Edd & Barry Scott.
Gee, don't tell me... #24 is Paul Chuckle? Nope, it's REY! OH GOD please let Rey win this it'll be hilarious, Rey is taking a backseat to the action as the match is nearing the end... #25 Niko Bellic, Rey resisted elimination there. Ed looks done, nope he hangs on. #26 Yoshimitsu slowly makes the ring... It's another brawl as the lucky number (as far as the WWE Royal Rumble is concerned) is gonna be announced next... Snape drew #27! Ed sent Barry Chuckle flying there, he threw Rey out as well. Ed is on fire. who is next? Paul Chuckle is #28, will he go to Fluck-The-CluckaMania Main event? We now know that it wont be Yoshimitsu as Ed has done it again, slung out Yoshimitsu... Snape with a low blow & Ed is gone... Such a shame
#29 is Lou! (Niko Bellic eliminated) He ain't in a rush, as number 30 is drawn & it's... Andy! Little Britain rigged the bumble! It's a brawl, Snape couldn't hold on. Lou sends him to the floor! Little Britain are teaming up on Paul Chuckle, Little Britain are arguing amongst themselves & are fighting, Andy with a huge right hand to the other half of the tag team champions & Andy with a running boot to Lou as Lou over the top rope! Andy eliminated Lou! Paul Chuckle & Andy are the last two! No one would have seen that. Chuckle Driver, both men brawling on the ropes, Andy flips Paul over but Paul Chuckle lands on the apron, Andy runs preparing a clothesline... Paul ducks & sends Andy over the top rope! PAUL CHUCKLE IS GOING TO FLUCK-THE-CLUCKAMANIA! HE GETS TO FACE GEORGE! YEHA BOI~!
Winner: Paul Chuckle
Match 1: Peter Griffin vs Gun Jack: Hardcore rules
Match begins as Peter gets a folding chair & wallops it through Gun Jack's metal head, causing huge vibrations. Do both men know what they're doing? I hope that even though carnage is being created, that both men make it to the Bumble tonight as Gun Jack uses his arse to crush Peter's ribs, Gun Jack is heading out of the ring & grabs a weapon from the crowd, why he grabs a £5 toy belt I have no clue... Peter Griffin gets a mouthful of plastic belt, as Gun Jack ascends the top corner... DIVE BOMBER from the top corner... The ring is reinforced for tonight, cover 1.2.3! Peter Griffin fought hard on his return, but it wasn't enough.
Winner: Gun Jack
Match 2: Captain Carpentry vs Louis Spence I.C Title match
Louis Spence has gone on record saying he wants a title, but will he beat fellow face superstar Captain Carpentry? Well it looks like he is going to, as it is quite rare to see Captain Carpentry start off slower & he ends up eating turnbuckle, Louis Spence is dancing in the ring. He loves to dance that man, but he should be wrapping the match up HUGE clothesline from the captain, damn I felt that one from the commentary box, Captain Carpentry saluting the fans for a brief moment before taking the fight to Louis Spence, this is something we haven't ever seen from the captain, he has never been this angry he should calm down, Louis Spence counters a knee to the gut & wraps his leg over captains knee, the captain headbutts Spence's back & REBATE POWERBOMB outta nowhere... Cover, 1.2.3 Captain Carpentry retains the I.C Title, both men to their feet as Captain Carpentry extends his hand & Louis Spence respects him by shaking hands!
Winner: Captain Carpentry
Match 3: SWC Championship: Ronald McDonald vs George
Well, this is what we've been waiting for... SWC Champion Ronald McDonald to respond to George's challenge, he has responded! Ronald McDonald kickin' ass! But George forces McDonald's error & whacks his head into an exposed turnbuckle. George grabbing a mic "This is now a hell in a cell match! Lower the cell honey"
That cell is being lowered, I also like George's snakeskin suit. He should give me tips... McDonald using the steel steps as a weapon. *clonk* That sounded brutal, can George fight back? Unbelievable, 2 months ago I was doubting George would even step in an SWC ring... Now he just stood up to Ronald McDonald, this time Ronald places George's head onto the steel steps, George is bleeding! Not a good look for him... McDonald has a chair & MISSES George, McDonald still vibrating FACECRUSHER, we might see a new champion... Cover 1...2.... 3! NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION, GEORGE IS THE NEW SWC CHAMPION! The fans don't like this one bit, I don't either (I would if George gave me fashion advice) but George did it.
Winner: George (New Champion)
Main Event: The Bumble Match
This is it, the moment you all have been waiting for, careers will be made. Because of the circumstances of the previous match Ronald McDonald will be entering tonight. Who will be the tosser who drew #1? It's Mario... Fuck sake, why not just put a carrier bag in the ring, who will have the honour of hauling Mario's arse out at #2? Shrek! Mario you are fucked tbh.
Oh look, Mario is... GONE ALREADY, shit effort mate. Shrek is going to sit in the middle of the ring, as he waits for the third pick well he won't have to wait long... #3 is Louis Spence! They have history as Shrek nearly eliminates Spence, bearing in mind that Shrek has never beaten Spence at anytime, these two aren't holding back... Shrek eliminated as #4 Spider-Man enters! How will this affect the match, face crusher to Spidey. Louis Spence is on fire tonight, back and forth between the two
#5 coolly approches the ring, we know it's 007, James Bond! Spence still with the momentum, but can he last it? 007, tries to throw Spence over... HES GONE! Spidey & Mario continue to wrestle but 32 seconds later, entrant #6 Gabriel Logan approaches the ring, Bond survives for now 007 & Bond working together again, but it didn't last. Logan & Spidey fail to eliminate 007 as OH SHIT! #7 is GUN JACK. The biggest superstar on the roster, at 7' 2" nearly 400 pounds.
all three men in the ring have froze! 007, Spider-Man looks finished... 007 eliminates Logan! #8 Borat! Makes his way to the ring... Spider-Man, 007, Borat & Logan helping to eliminate Jack! FAIL, boot to Spidey's skull, Spidey survives an attempt. Osama bin Laden draws #9, Spider-Man & Borat lifting Gun Jack onto the turnbuckle 007 dropkicks & ALL THREE MEN HAVE ELIMINATED GUN JACK! So far James Bond looks the likeliest to win the bumble match.
Just as I said it, Bond gets eliminated along with Spider-Man, a double elimination, #10 storms the ring it's none other than the Stig! Expect a fast paced match, Stig & Borat attempt to tip Osama over but Osama wriggles out of it accidentally eliminating Borat. Who is number 11? Wait, I know that music... IT'S HOMER SIMPSON! We thought he was fired! But he's back & attacks the Stig, they all hold on by wrestling in the centre of the ring, how boring but #12 should spruce this up a bit... Peter Griffin makes his entrance, screw tactical wrestling as Peter Griffin eliminates Osama bin Laden.
Homer Simpson is making the crowd angry by yelling foul language at The Stig who just flods his arms at him, Peter jumps them both. #13 Unlucky for... Ronald McDonald, it isn't gonna be his night. poor soul, losing the title & entering at #13, it's a massive brawl at the moment only a single suplex by Ronald McDonald on the Stig, as #14 makes way... Justin Bieber who wastes no time in going after Peter Griffin, Justin Bieber has been on the recent Japanese tour along with Peter Griffin, #15 FUCK OFF, IT'S KRUSTY and Homer Simpson eliminated by The Stig, Low Blow by Krusty on Justin Bieber.
What an arsehole, can't fight fairly. Even if it's Justin Bieber, I hope Gun Jack & Peter Griffin sit on your head, The Stig just survives an attempt. Halfway through the match. #16 one of my favourite numbers is... Luigi, the talented Mario brother runs to the ring & eliminates Peter Griffin with his first strike! See, that's talent! As he starts building momentum by punching everyone that moves, man Ronald McDonald eliminated by a dropkick from the Stig, why is Krusty still in there? And Krusty eliminates the Stig.
#17 CAPTAIN CARPENTRY (Bieber eliminated) walks to the ring slowly, KRUSTY THREW HIMSELF OUT YES, GET FUCKED YOU PRICK! This is now the time to see Luigi and the Captain wrestle for a few minutes as #18 James May enters, it will be interesting to see 3 wrestling specialists go at it for a few minutes. Luigi was overpowered by the captain & eliminated (better than Mario) but James May, assaulted the captain for the last 2 weeks & tried to get George to have sex with the captain. Anyway, these two men like a showdown as #19 BARRY SCOTT storms the ring, Shining Wizard to May followed by a rebate powerbomb over the top rope! May is outta there. *SHOCK OF THE BUMBLE* Barry Scott eliminates Captain Carpentry, this is technically Barry Scott's debut!
Barry Scott is over the moon! We'll see who #20 is & it's... EDDY! That short kid owes me 25p as huge kick by Barry Scott, these two are kicking eachother to death, but it looks spectacular. I could do those, well I can make the noises at least, #21 wow, pure coincidence... It's Edd! Who saves Eddy from being eliminated & shoves Barry Scott out the way & Eddy tries to eliminate Edd, OH MY GOD, FREAKY! #22 is none other than ED! All three Ed's in the ring, at once! Ed & Eddy gang up on Barry Scott. Eddy eliminated by Edd as Barry Chuckle #23 makes his entrance! It was quick as Ed & Barry Chuckle eliminate Edd & Barry Scott.
Gee, don't tell me... #24 is Paul Chuckle? Nope, it's REY! OH GOD please let Rey win this it'll be hilarious, Rey is taking a backseat to the action as the match is nearing the end... #25 Niko Bellic, Rey resisted elimination there. Ed looks done, nope he hangs on. #26 Yoshimitsu slowly makes the ring... It's another brawl as the lucky number (as far as the WWE Royal Rumble is concerned) is gonna be announced next... Snape drew #27! Ed sent Barry Chuckle flying there, he threw Rey out as well. Ed is on fire. who is next? Paul Chuckle is #28, will he go to Fluck-The-CluckaMania Main event? We now know that it wont be Yoshimitsu as Ed has done it again, slung out Yoshimitsu... Snape with a low blow & Ed is gone... Such a shame
#29 is Lou! (Niko Bellic eliminated) He ain't in a rush, as number 30 is drawn & it's... Andy! Little Britain rigged the bumble! It's a brawl, Snape couldn't hold on. Lou sends him to the floor! Little Britain are teaming up on Paul Chuckle, Little Britain are arguing amongst themselves & are fighting, Andy with a huge right hand to the other half of the tag team champions & Andy with a running boot to Lou as Lou over the top rope! Andy eliminated Lou! Paul Chuckle & Andy are the last two! No one would have seen that. Chuckle Driver, both men brawling on the ropes, Andy flips Paul over but Paul Chuckle lands on the apron, Andy runs preparing a clothesline... Paul ducks & sends Andy over the top rope! PAUL CHUCKLE IS GOING TO FLUCK-THE-CLUCKAMANIA! HE GETS TO FACE GEORGE! YEHA BOI~!
Winner: Paul Chuckle
