Post by Elder Gohan on Mar 25, 2012 10:04:06 GMT -5
WELCOME TO SWC FLUCK-THE-CLUCKAMANIA! THE MAIN EVENT OF MAIN EVENTS! THE BIG ONE! What will happen on the biggest SWC PPV of the year?
Match 1: James May vs Mario
Well this was just a throw together match made at the last second, because SWC creative didn't have anything planned. Mario, who has been on a bit of a hot streak since Kru*ty "left" actually looks as if he can win tonight but May counters with a harsh suplex. James May who you may remember from Top Gear & OHW alongside Jeremy Clarkson & Richard Hammond, loves small details & submission locked in, will Mario counter? He does & 1-up... REVERSED & MARIO GETS SOME CLUTCH CONTROL. Mario has no choice but to tap out...
Winner: James May
Match 2: IC Title match Capt. Carpentry vs Gun Jack
Capt. Carpentry is in much better shape & has a new white outfit for tonight, he looks happy but will he retain the title & become the longest reigning IC champion so far? Well 5 minutes into the match & he hasn't let Gun Jack break into his stride, the Captain needs to up the pace a bit, but Gun Jack is just to heavy to lift. Captain Carpentry has an idea... He props Jack on to the top rope & uses the momentum for a SUPER REBATE! Off the top rope & Jack has gone through the ring! He's KO'd. Captain Carpentry retains the IC Title at Fluck-The-Cluckamania!
Match 3: 6 man WANK BANK Briefcase match. Louis Spence vs Spider-Man vs Ronald McDonald vs Shrek vs Yoshimitsu vs Homer Simpson
Well you know, up there above the ring is a briefcase full of porn mags, if you get it down. It entitles you to a world title shot & Ronald McDonald wastes no time going after Yoshimitsu, these two being rivals & Louis Spence dancing around ladders, he should be getting stuck in. Homer Simpson clatters Spidey with a ladder, then into Yoshimitsu, before turning his attention to Shrek, both men pause... SHREK JUMPS ONTO HOMER CRUSHING THE LADDER ON THE RIBS! Both men down. Louis Spence slamming Yoshimitsu's head on the ringpost & won't stop. Spidey leaps over the top rope onto everyone, all men down. Ronald McDonald makes it to his feet to position a ladder between the ring and the side rail, a ladder is still standing in the ring... Ronald McDonald & Yoshimitsu climb up it, they wage war up there Yoshimitsu makes a grab for the mags! but McDonald... MCSLAM FROM THE LADDER ONTO THE LADDER ON THE SIDE OF THE RING OH MY GOD!! Louis Spence steadies the central ladder & begins climbing... He's almost there... both hands on the case & Spidey dashes up the ladder & aims a shoulder block & misses landing onto the outside mats... Spence unhooks the porn mags! Louis Spence wins a world title shot & technically beats Shrek AGAIN!
Winner: Louis Spence
Match 4: Little Britain vs 00-Logan tag team title match
James Bond & Gabe Logan have known eachother a long time... But do they know eachother as well as Little Britain do? 6 & a half minutes into the match & Little Britain have outwrestled, outmuscled & outwitted 007 & Logan at every corner... SPEAR by Andy! 1.2.3!
Already over, not like there was ever any doubt.
Main Event: Paul Chuckle vs
SWC Championship match
We don't know what is gonna happen, but I'm joined here by Carol Beer... Great. "Computer says no...." nice, anyway... www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut7dB82uX5I
That's George's music...
George: "I can't wrestle tonight, as you know. My nose is broken, but I still look & dress better than everyone here... Especially Ed, why are you still wearing that damn suit I wore in the indies 3 years ago? But I digress, Mr. Chuckle... Instead of facing moi, you will face a stand-in, a temporary champion if you will. Ladies and Gentlemen, GUN JACK!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCMG_RblJe8&feature=related
Start the match
Well, I don't think Paul Chuckle was expecting that as he's running around the ring like a headless chicken. Gun Jack has him by the scruff & throws him in the air into a facebuster, Gun Jack climbs the top rope & DIVE BOMBER!! 1.2.3! That was quick, George enters the ring... "Hand me my title"
Jack: "... SWC TITLE IS PROPERTY.... O>FgiTGTHR.. OF.... FATAL ERROR IN.... PROGRAM WILL NOW SHUTDOWN..."
GUN JACK IS GONNA BLOW!! RUN EVERYONE, not you Carol you stay right here...
AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
*BOOOM*
(Should I start putting youtube links to entrance music into these posts?)
Match 1: James May vs Mario
Well this was just a throw together match made at the last second, because SWC creative didn't have anything planned. Mario, who has been on a bit of a hot streak since Kru*ty "left" actually looks as if he can win tonight but May counters with a harsh suplex. James May who you may remember from Top Gear & OHW alongside Jeremy Clarkson & Richard Hammond, loves small details & submission locked in, will Mario counter? He does & 1-up... REVERSED & MARIO GETS SOME CLUTCH CONTROL. Mario has no choice but to tap out...
Winner: James May
Match 2: IC Title match Capt. Carpentry vs Gun Jack
Capt. Carpentry is in much better shape & has a new white outfit for tonight, he looks happy but will he retain the title & become the longest reigning IC champion so far? Well 5 minutes into the match & he hasn't let Gun Jack break into his stride, the Captain needs to up the pace a bit, but Gun Jack is just to heavy to lift. Captain Carpentry has an idea... He props Jack on to the top rope & uses the momentum for a SUPER REBATE! Off the top rope & Jack has gone through the ring! He's KO'd. Captain Carpentry retains the IC Title at Fluck-The-Cluckamania!
Match 3: 6 man WANK BANK Briefcase match. Louis Spence vs Spider-Man vs Ronald McDonald vs Shrek vs Yoshimitsu vs Homer Simpson
Well you know, up there above the ring is a briefcase full of porn mags, if you get it down. It entitles you to a world title shot & Ronald McDonald wastes no time going after Yoshimitsu, these two being rivals & Louis Spence dancing around ladders, he should be getting stuck in. Homer Simpson clatters Spidey with a ladder, then into Yoshimitsu, before turning his attention to Shrek, both men pause... SHREK JUMPS ONTO HOMER CRUSHING THE LADDER ON THE RIBS! Both men down. Louis Spence slamming Yoshimitsu's head on the ringpost & won't stop. Spidey leaps over the top rope onto everyone, all men down. Ronald McDonald makes it to his feet to position a ladder between the ring and the side rail, a ladder is still standing in the ring... Ronald McDonald & Yoshimitsu climb up it, they wage war up there Yoshimitsu makes a grab for the mags! but McDonald... MCSLAM FROM THE LADDER ONTO THE LADDER ON THE SIDE OF THE RING OH MY GOD!! Louis Spence steadies the central ladder & begins climbing... He's almost there... both hands on the case & Spidey dashes up the ladder & aims a shoulder block & misses landing onto the outside mats... Spence unhooks the porn mags! Louis Spence wins a world title shot & technically beats Shrek AGAIN!
Winner: Louis Spence
Match 4: Little Britain vs 00-Logan tag team title match
James Bond & Gabe Logan have known eachother a long time... But do they know eachother as well as Little Britain do? 6 & a half minutes into the match & Little Britain have outwrestled, outmuscled & outwitted 007 & Logan at every corner... SPEAR by Andy! 1.2.3!
Already over, not like there was ever any doubt.
Main Event: Paul Chuckle vs
SWC Championship matchWe don't know what is gonna happen, but I'm joined here by Carol Beer... Great. "Computer says no...." nice, anyway... www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut7dB82uX5I
That's George's music...
George: "I can't wrestle tonight, as you know. My nose is broken, but I still look & dress better than everyone here... Especially Ed, why are you still wearing that damn suit I wore in the indies 3 years ago? But I digress, Mr. Chuckle... Instead of facing moi, you will face a stand-in, a temporary champion if you will. Ladies and Gentlemen, GUN JACK!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCMG_RblJe8&feature=related
Start the match
Well, I don't think Paul Chuckle was expecting that as he's running around the ring like a headless chicken. Gun Jack has him by the scruff & throws him in the air into a facebuster, Gun Jack climbs the top rope & DIVE BOMBER!! 1.2.3! That was quick, George enters the ring... "Hand me my title"
Jack: "... SWC TITLE IS PROPERTY.... O>FgiTGTHR.. OF.... FATAL ERROR IN.... PROGRAM WILL NOW SHUTDOWN..."
GUN JACK IS GONNA BLOW!! RUN EVERYONE, not you Carol you stay right here...
AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
*BOOOM*
(Should I start putting youtube links to entrance music into these posts?)
