SWC NextGen Series

[Elder Gohan]

The competition to decide the next SWC superstar is coming soon, from 300+ entries we will narrow it down to just 8! Of course the pro's will be chosen by the SWC president, then they will guide their rookies into the world of SWC.

[DJ]

Can't wait for some fresh blood in SWC!

[Elder Gohan]

WE NOW HAVE OUR 8 ENTRANTS! Introducing first, from Peckham, London... TREVOR RENT!

Trevor Rent[/u]

Trevor is a failed theatrical agent, dealing with completely talentless actors/actresses by helping them get work. 99% of the time, he can't do a damn thing right so he spends whatever money he gets on drugs & booze. He signed up for NextGen Series to help improve his fortunes.

And introducing the second participant... Also from London, England... JAKE JOLSON!

Jake Jolson[/u]

Jake Jolson is the Nephew of a East End gangster, who enjoys hurting people & has murdered innocent people just for kicks. Jake enters SWC NextGen knowing that there could be many victims, or is this his chance to reform & make an honest living?

Entering the competition 3rd is a little known wrestler, from Mexico... THE MASKED POTATO!

The Masked Potato[/u]

Little is known about this guy, apart from his costume & mask is potato designed & he is overweight.

Halfway already, introducing. From outside Cherrygrove City, Johto... YOUNGSTER JOEY!

Youngster Joey[/u]

This guy is the most annoying guy so far, ringing me up AT FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING! To tell me about his FUCKING RATTATA! Other than that, he aims to be a top level SWC superstar in the future, I also love the fact that when his Rattata evolves, he never bothers to get another & STILL calls me about his Rattata! GET ANOTHER ONE FOR FUCK SAKE! Also you can't take it to the ring. NO PETS AT RINGSIDE!

The fifth superstar, from a loony bin... MUMFORD!

Mumford[/u]

Where do I begin?... This lunatic has just recently been convicted of flashing, he is a bit nutty. Mumford also enjoys riding his bike in just his y-fronts, chasing squirrels & flashing, has entered SWC NextGen because he saw the application & filled out 7 forms, one of which was in pen. I don't think he knows what he's in for...

From New York. Former SvR2006 Champion, Todd Mortar!

Todd Mortar[/u]

A former firefighter, standing at 6'3" weighing 220 pounds. He has hollywood looks & quit the fire brigade well over 6 years ago because he felt he didn't need to, so he learned to wrestle & he was talented, winning the SvR2006 Championship. Well that title is childs play compared to SWC, looks can only get you so far in this industry. Can Todd Mortar win this competition & make it big?

Introducing, the first animal competitor. from Ed's house... SPELLS!

Spells[/u]

Spells is a cat, but not just any cat. He is one tough son of a bitch, he loves to sleep & play just like any other cat, but Spells is a DAWG tbh.

& Lastly, the joker entrant, the booby prize & the "how the fuck did he get past all the decent competitors?" From some khazi somewhere... METALGOD!

METALGOD[/u]

An assbox, simple really

[DJ]

The fans have been asking for Youngster Joey for a long time now, good to see SWC giving him a chance. I heard Spells pinned Ric Flair, so he's automatically like the "man/cat" to beat. METALGOD would be great in a Krusty role. I know SWC doesn't ackowledge Krusty often but if he came back they'd be a great tag team.

[Elder Gohan]

METALGOD would be shit tbh, even Krusteh would pin him

[DJ]

Krusty should get another chance to prove himself against Metalgod.

[Elder Gohan]

Latest odds to win the competition

FROM SWC Bet:

5/1 Spells
8/1 Todd Mortar
11/1 Mumford/ Jake Jolson
18/1 Trevor Rent
20/1 Youngster Joey
35/1 The Masked Potato
1,000,000/1 METALGOD

Interesting odds, but the first challenge would swing things

[DJ]

Putting my money on Metalgod because I wanna lose it all!

Nah I'm kidding. Betting it all on Youngster Joey.

[Elder Gohan]

I'd only put 20p on Todd Mortar tbh

[DJ]

I didn't have your memory card though so I don't remember Todd.

[Elder Gohan]

"And now, it is time for the pros to pick their rookies. Eight SWC superstars will choose rookies. First up is... The current, HardKOK champion 007 James Bond! Who will he choose?"

Bond: "Hmm, a tough choice. I will have to go with someone who can think quick & utilise certain skills. I pick... Youngster Joey!"

Good pick from 007, choosing strategy over brute force, next pick goes to Paul & Barry Chuckle, the Chuckle Brothers!

Barry: "'Ello! What we doin ere today Paul?" "We're gettin a SWC pro, every superstar gets one, Barry, but we'll have to wait to pick" *Paul sits down on a chair with a whoopee cushion, then moves it to the opposite chair* Paul: "Have a seat Barry" "OK Paul." *Whoopee cushion noise* "Whoops, my fault. I think we should pick our pro & go before the fans notice the smell" Paul: "Yer right, we'll take Mumford! Lets get out've ere"

Ladies & Gentlemen, that was the Chuckle Brothers! They have picked a complete loony in Mumford! Third person to pull up in the car park & go to ringside is... Osama bin Laden!

"Good evening you PIGS! I want to take on the most evil, psychotic rookie on as my apprentice & together we'll make the capitalist SWC empire crumble to it's knees! So I'll take Jake Jolson!"

Man, Jake doesn't pay to much attention to the news. Plus I don't think he's into politics much.

Here we go, next to pick it the former SWC champion, George!

"If I had to pick a superstar for the future, he'd have to be strong, athletic, good looking & of course he HAS to have good fashion sense, obviously he wouldn't hold a candle to moi! Anyway, I will pick... Todd Mortar!"

We are halfway in the choosing process, already picked are: Youngster Joey, Mumford, Jake Jolson & Todd Mortar.

Captain Carpentry has just turned up ringside.

Capt. Carpentry: "I, will pick a potential superstar that is charismatic, does EVERYTHING for the fans, but the important thing is that he tries & applies himself through ALL adversity, so I will not choose the best wrestler, nor will I choose a cat. So that leaves the perfect student for myself... Trevor Rent!"

Oh my, the Captain adores a challenge! Severus Snape has just appeared out of nowhere! Maybe he's a pro.

Snape: "I have never been one to publicly declare my intentions, but since I have been forced to I shall declare that I have chosen to take on an apprentice. Not only has this person already had wrestling experience, he is better at his profession than Captain Carpentry, he is possibly better than the Captain at carpentry... My choice is... The Masked Potato!"

Man, that was scary! Not gonna lie, anywho there is a backstage race between Homer Simpson & the currently injured Louis Spence, who is in a wheel chair. Who's music will hit first? IT'S LOUIS SPENCE! HE WINS THE RACE!

Spence: "Homer's right behind me, so I'll quickly pick Spells!"

*Spence wheels to the security*

Homer is now on the stage, looking angry...

Homer: *sighs* "...Metalgod"

[DJ]

Bond and Youngster Joey will be great trainers for Rattatta.
George and Todd Mortar is scareh tbh.
Captain Carpentry is a genious. I would of picked a cat in his situation.
How dare Snape talk that way about the Captain!
How did Spells last that long? Spence got a great rookie. Let's go Spells!
Poor Homer is slower than an injured Spence. He deserves Metalfuck for that.

[Elder Gohan]

Announcing the first challenge... An introduction of yourselves, but for the first week there will be no elimination so you are under no pressure... But, you'll introduce yourself to the SWC fans, the pros will then mark you depending on the reaction you get. The rookies have undergone promo training & the first person to introduce himself is... "Trevor Rent!"

Trevor: "Listen daughters, I have worked with the lowest of the low. Now I get to work under Captain Carpentry, so I must be doing something right, anyway I should win this challenge because I have worked in showbiz & I know good talent, plus I need the money or Jeffrey Nasty will come after me with a chainsaw."

That was interesting to say the least, what an interesting character... Next up is Youngster Joey

"Hey, I'm Joey. I have THE best Ratatta in the world! I mean, not to brag but it's AWESOME. Now a little bit about me, I wanna be the best in SWC ever! The SWC Championship will be mine one day, I'll do it for Ratattas everywhere!"

Damn, does he like anything other than Ratattas? Third up is, the Masked Potato!

"...No hablo ingles." *Does a few somersaults & dances*

WOW that was amazing! Anywho, Jake Jolson. It's your turn.

"OI, listen up you cunts. I am gonna be the next star, I don't care who I hurt or for the fans, even if I have to fuck up referees or commentators, I will fucking hurt 'em. Do I make myself clear?"

I...Uhh... I'm scared! To lighten the mood, METALGOD is up next!

"sup fags lol jk..." *METALGOD is being pelted with cups at this point*

That sucked, next up is Spells. Hello kitty, it's my cat! He's on NEXTGEN!

"Meow, meow hiss meow growl meow!"

SPELLSIE YOU ARE AWESOME BUDDY! Next up is Todd Mortar

"Hey, I'm Todd Mortar. I am so good looking, that alone should win SWC NextGen, I mean come on, who could possibly deny the opportunity of a spot on the roster!"

Someone loves himself! Last up is Mumford

*Mumford pedals a bicycle to the ring*

OMG Mumford in his trenchcoat on a bicycle & he's just crashed into the ring & he's only wearing y-fronts!

"WOO! I'M MUMFORD, I LIKE BEING OUTSIDE & DOGS & DRESSING UP IN DRESSES YEAH! OH & I ALSO LIKE DOING STUNTS, EVEN IF I'M NO GOOD AT THEM~!"

That concludes this weeks challenge!

[DJ]

Do it for the Rattatta's Joey!
Masked Potatoe is the most athletic potatoe I ever heard of.
I had a good lawl at Metalfuck. Good to see the fans don't like him either.
Spells really showed everybody else up. Performance of the night.
Mumford impressed me. He has a nice bicycle.
Jake Jolson sounds like a dick, scaring everybody.
I feel Trevor's pain, you don't want Jeffery Nasty chasing you with a chainsaw...I assume.
Todd was like I'm Todd so I should win, hard to argue with him actually.

Good start for most except Metalfuck.

[Elder Gohan]

Second week, second challenge & the first PRACTICAL challenge... TAKESHI'S CASTLE! The rules could not be simple, if you have watched the show Takeshi's castle. But this time, it's a race to the end so it's multiple continues, the last competitor to get eliminated in the final round. Also the last person to make it to said final will have a larger ring & speed restriction of 2 mph.

First up it's SKIPPING STONES.

Youngster Joey, you're up first so set a good example!

Youngster Joey surveys the scene & jumps to the first stone & tries to skip with speed but falls & recovers just to fall in ankle deep at the end, still counts. NOT ELIMINATED, Youngster Joey sets a good example

Spells goes second & runs at the stones & finishes as expected. Trevor Rent has a fag (cigarette) or 2 before running the course (slowly) Todd Mortar doesn't want to ruin his hair so he's wearing a silly hairnet, but still runs the course in good time. The Masked Potato started off well but fell in at the second to last stone. Jake Jolson flies into a fit of rage after he falls in, kicks a stone & carries on regardless. Mumford tried to ride his bike across & his bike was taken away so he removed his... OH NOOOOO! He's naked under there, but he managed to get across without falling in

Last across is that punk bitch who nearly destroyed the company last week... Wait, that's the Chuckle Brothers they've got METALGOD & they've thrown him in! He didn't even get to start! *Metalgod now has a bigger ring for the final round*

Second Round: Brigde Ball

First up is the best of the last round... Mumford who gets his golden ball, looks up & sprints... JUST MADE IT! Jake Jolson is next, notice how he isn't wearing his helmet & he grabs the golden ball, the SWC pros are firing footballs from cannons at him Jolson punches them away, he wobbles a bit but recovers well & again makes it but is wobbly so he runs & makes it to the other side. Trevor Rent grabs his ball & and decides to crawl across & one of the footballs hits him in the arse! "Oww!" Trevor carries on as the bridge turns & he's dangling, a football strikes him in the leg & Rent drops the ball, he sees the distance to trek back & decides to fall anyway.

Spells is up, he gets his little sponge ball & charges across at the same speed as Mumford but he nudges the ball over to the other side, and makes it, but it could be seen as cheating. Todd Mortar, gets his ball & slowly walks across but he gets a sore one in the face just as he gets the momentum, he fell off. The Masked Potato tries the sprint, he's forgotten the BALL! He has to go back, goes back & fell in the net below! Youngster Joey is second last to go, he has a determined look as he grabs the golden ball shot out the cannon, walks across & he falls but held on to the bridge, he's halfway now... C'MON JOEY, he falls again but this time he falls in, unlucky Joey.

Last up is METALGOD, he missed the golden ball! He missed it again & catches it the third time, the footballs are coming in hard & OUCH, RIGHT IN THE BOLLOCKS! & A HEAD SHOT! METALGOD falls into the net. LOL~!


Third round: Sumo Rings

This round has a twist, five different colours mean five different superstars in a sumo match, competitors will pull out a coloured ball.

Red: Tim Wonnacott
Blue: Man in a oversized costume
Yellow: DCI McCormack
Green: Neil Lennon
Purple: "The Porker"


First up is, despite the cheating allegation, Spells who draws a yellow ball! DCI Clive McCormack waits in the ring as Spells desperately tries to push him outta there, McCormack a police chief inspector is a pretty big guy, Spells also a pretty big guy have struggled for a few minutes & McCormack's foot is out the ring, Spells is awesome!

Youngster Joey's turn to put his hand in the box & he picks... PURPLE! Uh Oh, it's "The Porker!" the biggest of the opponents, Joey has his work cut out as he tries to push Porker out & Porker hasn't moved an inch! Porker with one big shove & Youngster Joey fell on his arse, he's outta there! Trevor Rent steps up to the box... GREEN! Glasgow Celtic manager Neil Lennon, oh man I'm a big fan of Celtic & Lennon, Trevor Rent struggling as is Lennon both men are round about the same size & Rent with a big throw & both men are out, it's a draw. Mumford "calmly" puts his arm in... PURPLE! "The Porker" again, Mumford has never ever watched a sumo match he thinks it's a dancing contest as he shouts & fist pumps on the spot, the porker charges as Mumford finds 1p & bends down, Porker is out of the ring... Mumford hands The Porker his first sumo loss of 2012!

The Masked Potato is next, hand in... BLUE! Man in oversize potato costume! Masked Potato with the lightest shove EVER, knocks the costume guy over. NEXT. Todd Mortar, puts the hand in... RED! Tim Wonnacott, host of Bargain Hunt & SWC employee! Todd Mortar struggling to push him out & it's just minutes of struggling here & Todd Mortar eventually wins. Jake Jolson... BLUE! Costume guy! The costume guy turns round and eliminates himself! He don't wanna fight with Jake Jolson! Last up, Metalgod... BLUE! Costume guy, alot of grappling going on here & Metalgod fell on his arse, that means... COSTUME GUY WINS! COSTUME GUY WINS! YEHA!



Final round: Final showdown.

Last to be eliminated/winner(s) gain immunity & cannot be eliminated tommorow.

Here it is, the final showdown. 8 have made it through, METALGOD will start with a bigger paper ring & speed restriction. Spells, due to the cheating claims, will have a 5 second penalty.

The SWC trainers guarding the castle, are aiming for the paper rings of the superstars, spells can start now & metalgod has no reverse gear as a punishment, but he's hit a wall. The guards finish him off, he's eliminated. Oh no, Jake Jolson is gone & he's angry but security gets hold of him, 12 seconds later and the guards are finished, that means 6 winners! But one can only get immunity, so they'll have to shoot the rings of eachother & Potato & Joey eliminate eachother, 4 left, Todd Mortar loses control of the glorified shopping trolley but cant back up, he's a sitting duck but manages to eliminate Spells with a superb shot, Mumford is all but gone & Trevor Rent eliminates both from seemingly out of nowhere to earn immunity.