Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 30, 2012 12:35:20 GMT -5
WELCOME TO SWC RAWR! LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERESHIRE! BRINGING YOU ALL THE BEST IN SWC ACTION!
Match 1: Barry Scott vs Darth Vader
Does Vader have a problem? I think he should see an SWC doctor to get his problem fixed. Barry Scott given the chance to prove himself tonight against a 6'5 near 300 pound monster that is Darth Vader, as Barry kicks him in the head, followed by a german suplex Uh oh, it's gonna be messy... NOT AGAIN VADER, DAMNIT. THERE'S POO ALL OVER THE RING, SEE A FUCKING DOCTOR. Barry Scott isn't sure what to do, he can't stand the smell but he must finish the match, SHINING WIZARD to the face... 1.2.3! Barry Scott wins tonight, a superstar for the future!
*CLEANUP IN THE RING, CUT TO BACKSTAGE PROMO*
Me: "Man, I'd hate to clean that up. Hmmm, who to interview... AH Yoshimitsu! Hey Yoshi, can I have a word?"
Yoshi: "..." *kicks me in the head*
1..2..3! "Yoshimitsu is the HardKOK Champion. I, Carol Beer will have to call these matches while Ed recovers.2
Match 2: Borat vs James May. Non Title match
Carol: "Ugh, these two. James May is all right, I like him because I used to watch Top Gear alot. Borat tries to get May to the ground but May counters... How does Ed do this week in week out? I've only done this when he wanders off. These two are wrestling, Borat looks to be winning & he's put May on the ground & he's trying to... Oh it's only a boston crab, May throws Borat using his legs rolling Borat & I think that's his finisher, must be as Borat taps out. Phew, wasn't a bad.... Wait, the lights have gone out... Oh there back on again & a bunch of apples are in the ring! How did that? What the fuck..?"
Match 3: Gabe Logan vs Ronald McDonald
Carol: "Two SWC main eventers, one crazy & moody, the other is a former secret agent. McDonald has injured at least 2 superstars since cracking the wobblies, his only interest is hurting people as a huge chop to Logan's throat stopping Logan in his tracks, McDonald has stopped moving... His eyes... He's crying blood. McDonald quickly flies into a rage shoving Logan into a turnbuckle & stomping a mudhole into Logan, man I have never seen Gabe Logan get beat like this... He is one of the toughest people in the world, McDonald with a chokeslam to Logan. The referee has stopped the match, McDonald wins due to KO, strangely he has spared Gabe Logan."
Captain Carpentry vs Snape
Carol: "This feud, I do know about. Two SWC legends in the making, already wrestling & wasting no time going into a match, swapping between wrestling & striking both men looking to win the match. The last time these two faced off was a house show where Snape won with a sneaky Expelliarmus super kick, this time the Captain is prepared... Does he wanna end the match early, because he wants to celebrate with the Carpentryettes! Yes the Captain has dancers, Snape with the Expelliarmus superkick, doesn't connect & REBATE POWERBOMB! Cover 1.2.3... One Direction storm the ring & attack the Captain, he just about fought them off but eventually got a beatdown.
OD member 1: "We're here to stay SWC, Don't like it? GOOD."
I'm speechless.
Match 5: James Bond vs George
Hey, I'm back! Here we go, this match should be a classic 007 a submission specialist & George, as 007 locks in the sharpshooter George gets to the ropes 007 wastes no time trying to weaken George's legs as George pokes 007 in the eye... George throws Bond into the turnbuckle & slamming 007's head into the turnbuckle & hey Bond countered a dropkick & George is left dangling from the turnbuckle, Bond keeps kicking the chest. This match is pretty good, 007 has stepped up to the plate... One Direction storm the ring AGAIN & attack 007. Help him George! George with a left to a member, throws another member outta the ring, grabs the third member & the 4th CLASHES their heads together & throws them out! The last member in the ring gets a FACELIFT! then thrown out! Is this a face turn for George?!?
NOOO! Facelift to 007. Why George? You had the fans on your side there, for about 6 minutes you were a face... (if it counts)
George: "You know, I may be in a company filled to the brim with ugly assholes, but One Direction... I HATE YOU ALL! But this doesn't mean I am gonna team with people to kick your asses, George works with George ONLY!"
Match 1: Barry Scott vs Darth Vader
Does Vader have a problem? I think he should see an SWC doctor to get his problem fixed. Barry Scott given the chance to prove himself tonight against a 6'5 near 300 pound monster that is Darth Vader, as Barry kicks him in the head, followed by a german suplex Uh oh, it's gonna be messy... NOT AGAIN VADER, DAMNIT. THERE'S POO ALL OVER THE RING, SEE A FUCKING DOCTOR. Barry Scott isn't sure what to do, he can't stand the smell but he must finish the match, SHINING WIZARD to the face... 1.2.3! Barry Scott wins tonight, a superstar for the future!
*CLEANUP IN THE RING, CUT TO BACKSTAGE PROMO*
Me: "Man, I'd hate to clean that up. Hmmm, who to interview... AH Yoshimitsu! Hey Yoshi, can I have a word?"
Yoshi: "..." *kicks me in the head*
1..2..3! "Yoshimitsu is the HardKOK Champion. I, Carol Beer will have to call these matches while Ed recovers.2
Match 2: Borat vs James May. Non Title match
Carol: "Ugh, these two. James May is all right, I like him because I used to watch Top Gear alot. Borat tries to get May to the ground but May counters... How does Ed do this week in week out? I've only done this when he wanders off. These two are wrestling, Borat looks to be winning & he's put May on the ground & he's trying to... Oh it's only a boston crab, May throws Borat using his legs rolling Borat & I think that's his finisher, must be as Borat taps out. Phew, wasn't a bad.... Wait, the lights have gone out... Oh there back on again & a bunch of apples are in the ring! How did that? What the fuck..?"
Match 3: Gabe Logan vs Ronald McDonald
Carol: "Two SWC main eventers, one crazy & moody, the other is a former secret agent. McDonald has injured at least 2 superstars since cracking the wobblies, his only interest is hurting people as a huge chop to Logan's throat stopping Logan in his tracks, McDonald has stopped moving... His eyes... He's crying blood. McDonald quickly flies into a rage shoving Logan into a turnbuckle & stomping a mudhole into Logan, man I have never seen Gabe Logan get beat like this... He is one of the toughest people in the world, McDonald with a chokeslam to Logan. The referee has stopped the match, McDonald wins due to KO, strangely he has spared Gabe Logan."
Captain Carpentry vs Snape
Carol: "This feud, I do know about. Two SWC legends in the making, already wrestling & wasting no time going into a match, swapping between wrestling & striking both men looking to win the match. The last time these two faced off was a house show where Snape won with a sneaky Expelliarmus super kick, this time the Captain is prepared... Does he wanna end the match early, because he wants to celebrate with the Carpentryettes! Yes the Captain has dancers, Snape with the Expelliarmus superkick, doesn't connect & REBATE POWERBOMB! Cover 1.2.3... One Direction storm the ring & attack the Captain, he just about fought them off but eventually got a beatdown.
OD member 1: "We're here to stay SWC, Don't like it? GOOD."
I'm speechless.
Match 5: James Bond vs George
Hey, I'm back! Here we go, this match should be a classic 007 a submission specialist & George, as 007 locks in the sharpshooter George gets to the ropes 007 wastes no time trying to weaken George's legs as George pokes 007 in the eye... George throws Bond into the turnbuckle & slamming 007's head into the turnbuckle & hey Bond countered a dropkick & George is left dangling from the turnbuckle, Bond keeps kicking the chest. This match is pretty good, 007 has stepped up to the plate... One Direction storm the ring AGAIN & attack 007. Help him George! George with a left to a member, throws another member outta the ring, grabs the third member & the 4th CLASHES their heads together & throws them out! The last member in the ring gets a FACELIFT! then thrown out! Is this a face turn for George?!?
NOOO! Facelift to 007. Why George? You had the fans on your side there, for about 6 minutes you were a face... (if it counts)
George: "You know, I may be in a company filled to the brim with ugly assholes, but One Direction... I HATE YOU ALL! But this doesn't mean I am gonna team with people to kick your asses, George works with George ONLY!"
