Post by Elder Gohan on Dec 23, 2012 16:22:38 GMT -5
Tis the season to be jolly & all that bollocks, theme song for tonight's PPV is All I Want For Christmas - Mariah Carey. Mimed by the Crystals
George defeated Captain Carpentry in the opener, weird because this shouldn't open a PPV!
Match 2: Tag Team Championship, Mario & Trevor Rent (c) vs The Chuckle Brothers.
I swear no one cares about the SWC Tag Team titles... Anywho Barry Chuckle takes down Mario & wrestles him down to the canvas. The Chuckle Brothers have recently announced that they're going to be part time due to their age, they may retire next year so I hope that a tag team will step up to the plate. Trevor Rent comes in, now he's a superstar who also has age behind him, 40 years of it! Doesn't stop him from receiving a beating from Barry Chuckle. 10 minutes of this epic encounter & no one looks like they're gonna lose... Wait, Barry Chuckle with a counter... 1.2.3! The Chuckle Brothers win their third tag title!
Match 3: IC Title 6 man battle royal.
James May has formally requested this match, will he regret it? I think he will as Gun Jack has botched a punch & KO'd May (legit.)
James May has been dumped out of the ring by Gabe Logan, but is not eliminated from the match. Gabriel Logan goes for Trevor Rent who has already lost a title match tonight, does he want to break an unwanted record? Anyway 5 minutes into the match & no one is close to getting eliminated, James May is still down, will he have to give up the title? 7 and a half minutes & Shrek is over the top rope, Jack punches Shrek off the apron & he's gone.
Gun Jack is eliminated a second after, Logan uses the momentum to toss the big guy off the rope. Now now, it's an SWC family program, we don't to silly wanking jokes! Barry Chuckle is sent flying by an enraged Gun Jack, that's the sort of thing he was worried about, a 67 year old shouldn't fly in the air! Now it's Gabriel Logan vs Trevor Rent in the ring, punches being traded, moves being traded & plenty of near falls.
17th minute of the match, both men tired. It's a test of will now, but both men now dangerously close to the ropes, Logan tries to throw Rent over, Rent counters... Logan's out! Is Trevor Rent IC Champion? We need a ruling, Rent is holding the belt. Confusion all round, James May is unconscious. Paramedics are signalling for a decision, but what the hell is this?!?
JAMES MAY IS STANDING UP & CONSCIOUS! HE CAN STILL DEFEND THE TITLE, IS THIS A FACE TURN FOR JAMES MAY?!? CAN HE KICK TREVOR RENT'S ARSE? He charges in, the fans cheering May... Trevor Rent is thrown out of the ring!
James May against all odds retains the title AGAIN! 252 days ago, James May defeated Captain Carpentry to win the IC Title, eight months to the day today!
Match 3: Lou vs Andrew Pipkin. World Heavyweight Title Match
Lou faces his former teammate, Andrew Pipkin. Pipkin using his real name has grown a beard and now beating the hell out of the World Champ, this is brutal is anyone gonna stop this? Lou fights back, Lou knowing all of Andrew's weaknesses starts beating the hell out of his former teammate, then starts to outwrestle him. This match has gone back & forth, shockingly Andy sorry Andrew has used technical wrestling & Lou has just resorted to pummeling & striking. Eventually Lou breaks from beating & rolls up Andrew... 1.2.3! Lou steals it & he hightails it from the ring, Andrew Pipkin feels he was robbed!
Main Event: SWC Title. Slenderman (c) vs Severus Snape.
Slenderman is late out for the match, oh shit there he is! How did he?... This could be scary, Snape dispels Slenderman's teleporting abilities however, Slender strikes hard. This is just a magic display, apart from the punch by Slender. No punches have been thrown, this is meant to be wrestling not Harry bloody Potter. Someone's gonna have to stop this...
Jeremy: "Stop this, both of you. Mr President isn't best pleased with what is going on."
Snape: "Using magic is not forbidden."
Jeremy: "That maybe, do you not think that it maybe unfair to the non magical wrestlers?"
Snape: "We see no problem."
Jeremy: "It isn't right, the audience are bored stiff & we at SWC all we can do is apologise. I came here to train wrestlers, albeit their vocal skills. Mr Lennon handles their practical skills, that aside you're to stop using magic, it makes a mockery of our training staff, facilities & all of the wrestlers!"
Snape: "Well, we're still going to do it."
Jeremy: "Not unless you want to remain employed, Mr President has now, as of 20 minutes past 9 PM, FORBIDDEN MAGIC. Also, this match is now ruled a no contest, Snape you leave the ring through the crowd, Slender you come through the back. Everyone, good night!"
Well, Jeremy Kyle stamps down his authority.
George defeated Captain Carpentry in the opener, weird because this shouldn't open a PPV!
Match 2: Tag Team Championship, Mario & Trevor Rent (c) vs The Chuckle Brothers.
I swear no one cares about the SWC Tag Team titles... Anywho Barry Chuckle takes down Mario & wrestles him down to the canvas. The Chuckle Brothers have recently announced that they're going to be part time due to their age, they may retire next year so I hope that a tag team will step up to the plate. Trevor Rent comes in, now he's a superstar who also has age behind him, 40 years of it! Doesn't stop him from receiving a beating from Barry Chuckle. 10 minutes of this epic encounter & no one looks like they're gonna lose... Wait, Barry Chuckle with a counter... 1.2.3! The Chuckle Brothers win their third tag title!
Match 3: IC Title 6 man battle royal.
James May has formally requested this match, will he regret it? I think he will as Gun Jack has botched a punch & KO'd May (legit.)
James May has been dumped out of the ring by Gabe Logan, but is not eliminated from the match. Gabriel Logan goes for Trevor Rent who has already lost a title match tonight, does he want to break an unwanted record? Anyway 5 minutes into the match & no one is close to getting eliminated, James May is still down, will he have to give up the title? 7 and a half minutes & Shrek is over the top rope, Jack punches Shrek off the apron & he's gone.
Gun Jack is eliminated a second after, Logan uses the momentum to toss the big guy off the rope. Now now, it's an SWC family program, we don't to silly wanking jokes! Barry Chuckle is sent flying by an enraged Gun Jack, that's the sort of thing he was worried about, a 67 year old shouldn't fly in the air! Now it's Gabriel Logan vs Trevor Rent in the ring, punches being traded, moves being traded & plenty of near falls.
17th minute of the match, both men tired. It's a test of will now, but both men now dangerously close to the ropes, Logan tries to throw Rent over, Rent counters... Logan's out! Is Trevor Rent IC Champion? We need a ruling, Rent is holding the belt. Confusion all round, James May is unconscious. Paramedics are signalling for a decision, but what the hell is this?!?
JAMES MAY IS STANDING UP & CONSCIOUS! HE CAN STILL DEFEND THE TITLE, IS THIS A FACE TURN FOR JAMES MAY?!? CAN HE KICK TREVOR RENT'S ARSE? He charges in, the fans cheering May... Trevor Rent is thrown out of the ring!
James May against all odds retains the title AGAIN! 252 days ago, James May defeated Captain Carpentry to win the IC Title, eight months to the day today!
Match 3: Lou vs Andrew Pipkin. World Heavyweight Title Match
Lou faces his former teammate, Andrew Pipkin. Pipkin using his real name has grown a beard and now beating the hell out of the World Champ, this is brutal is anyone gonna stop this? Lou fights back, Lou knowing all of Andrew's weaknesses starts beating the hell out of his former teammate, then starts to outwrestle him. This match has gone back & forth, shockingly Andy sorry Andrew has used technical wrestling & Lou has just resorted to pummeling & striking. Eventually Lou breaks from beating & rolls up Andrew... 1.2.3! Lou steals it & he hightails it from the ring, Andrew Pipkin feels he was robbed!
Main Event: SWC Title. Slenderman (c) vs Severus Snape.
Slenderman is late out for the match, oh shit there he is! How did he?... This could be scary, Snape dispels Slenderman's teleporting abilities however, Slender strikes hard. This is just a magic display, apart from the punch by Slender. No punches have been thrown, this is meant to be wrestling not Harry bloody Potter. Someone's gonna have to stop this...
Jeremy: "Stop this, both of you. Mr President isn't best pleased with what is going on."
Snape: "Using magic is not forbidden."
Jeremy: "That maybe, do you not think that it maybe unfair to the non magical wrestlers?"
Snape: "We see no problem."
Jeremy: "It isn't right, the audience are bored stiff & we at SWC all we can do is apologise. I came here to train wrestlers, albeit their vocal skills. Mr Lennon handles their practical skills, that aside you're to stop using magic, it makes a mockery of our training staff, facilities & all of the wrestlers!"
Snape: "Well, we're still going to do it."
Jeremy: "Not unless you want to remain employed, Mr President has now, as of 20 minutes past 9 PM, FORBIDDEN MAGIC. Also, this match is now ruled a no contest, Snape you leave the ring through the crowd, Slender you come through the back. Everyone, good night!"
Well, Jeremy Kyle stamps down his authority.
