Post by Elder Gohan on Mar 17, 2013 9:47:59 GMT -5
Tonight is the night, the event of all events. We at SWC present live from Wembley, Fluck-The-Cluckamania. First we'll go to the stage, where tonight's song will be performed, please welcome... With their 1996 single Female of the species... SPACE!
Without further ado, the first match.
Match 1: James May vs Yoshimitsu. IC Title match
James May entering in his Fiat Panda, while Yoshimitsu enters with martial arts weapons & shit.
Yoshimitsu starts off tonights event with a series off kicks to May, some good offense by Yoshimistu on the greatest stage of them all, It'd be a good way to prove yourself winning the intercontinental title tonight, James May counters & throws Yoshimitsu into the corner, beating him down & a dropkick into Yoshimitsu's face, that's gotta hurt! James May targeting Yoshimitsu's legs May then picks up Yoshimitsu... AIIIEEE Enzuguiri~! Jamesu May~! Only one outcome here.... CLUTCH CONTROL locked in & Yoshimitsu taps out. Brave effort & we thank him for it. Ha, no we don't!
Barry Shitpeas: "And now a performance from Carly Rae Jepsen! Only here because Ed fancies her..."
WHAT A GREAT PERFORMANCE! Oh & Barry, it's Mr. Ed to you. Make that mistake again & I'll have you looking after Bieber...
Match 2: James Bond vs Captain Carpentry
James Bond has his special entrance, dodging baddies & Captain Carpentry enters on a golden chariot!
Both men shake hands before the bell & James Bond immediately goes for the sharpshooter before being countered by the captain who springs up & begins a good chain wrestling combo & James Bond also responds, this is a good representation of what a game of wrestling tennis is, back & forth no one showing a sign of letting up. 5 minutes later & both men appear to be getting tired, they're slowing the pace down & trying to force a mistake... Captain Carpentry with the rebate powerbomb out of nowhere! 1...2...3! Captain Carpentry with a smash & grab win, he's aiming his sights for whoever the champion is after Fluck-The-Cluckamania...
*In the locker room*
Dimmick: "...Don't be scared laddie, it's only a ladder match. cud be werse like.... I cud be facin dat robot or our slendeh, tonite cud be make or break for me..."
Mumford: "LOL I'M GONNA CLIMB THE LADDER & GET THAT BRIEFCASE, I THINK IT'S FULL OF ACORNS!"
George: "Why on earth do you think you two are even getting near the briefcase? It's mine, I'll climb that ladder first & don't even think of damaging my clothes, they're worth more than your salary..."
Match 3: THE WANK BANK match. Mumford vs George vs Dimmick vs The Stig vs Trevor Rent vs Louis Spence
So many ladders, why did Mumford enter on a motorised toilet? The match is underway & Mumford goes straight for a ladder, The Stig snatching it off Mumford & throws the ladder at him, George beating down Trevor Rent placing him in the corner & choking him out, Louis Spence places a ladder in the middle of the ring as Mumford & The Stig continue fighting outside Trevor Rent with his modified russian leg sweep onto the steps out side sending the stig out cold, George climbing the ladder, Mumford places The Stig onto the announce table... George can see Dimmick coming & MOONSAULT OFF THE LADDER ONTO THE STIG, OH MY FUCK! THAT HAS TO HURT! Neil Dimmick has to fend off Louis Spence, last year's winner & throws him out of the ring, Mumford & Dimmick in the ring both have put the ladder around their shoulders & heads & NOW THEY'RE SPINNING AROUND & hitting everyone, Dimmick gets Mumford.
Dimmick places the ladder down. 20 minutes gone in this match, Dimmick climbs the ladder... He's at the top! Wait, George has caught him, he's going for an electric chair drop off the ladder.... Dimmick holds on to the cable suspending the briefcase as George falls down! ALL HE HAS TO DO IS UNHOOK IT... Dimmick gets one hand on the clasp & unhooks it. *DING DING DING* OH MY GOD, DIMMICK HAS WON THE WANK BANK MATCH & GUARANTEES A WORLD TITLE SHOT ANY TIME ANY PLACE ANY WHERE! HE HIMSELF CAN'T BELIEVE IT... UH OH, the look on George's face... If looks could kill, he'd be a serial killer by now. George can't believe he basically helped Dimmick
Dimmick: "YYYYEEEEEEESSSS! Cheers Georgie boy!"
Match 4: SWC Championship. Slenderman vs Gabriel Logan
Gabe: "Hey Slendy, remember this? *Holds up a shiny coin* it's the blessed amulet from a charity shop. Protects against curses... You're mine now"
Slenderman appears to be weakened, this can't be right? Gabriel Logan is beating down Slenderman. I've never seen him so weak! This has to be the most one sided title match & I have to say I thought it'd be one sided in favour of Slenderman! 7 & a half minutes in, Logan hits Slendy with The Devil's Whisper... Cover. 1...2...3! WE HAVE A NEW SWC CHAMPION GABRIEL LOGAN, WHERE HE FOUND THAT COIN I HAVE NO CLUE! Thank god I work on KOKDown, at least things make sense...
Barry: "Ladies & Gentlemen, before tonight's main event. We have tonight's attendance... 81,628! But before we kick off tonight's main event... The last of our bands performing tonight... The Lavender Fudge Experience with their number one hit, The Nudist & Mr Pendleton!"
That was awesome, a true number one. But without further ado our main event!
Main event: SWC World Heavyweight Championship Andy (c) vs Ronald McDonald.
Andy enters on a double decker bus. Ronald McDonald enters with his red & yellow feather boas.
Andy wastes no time in taking Ronald McDonald down, beating him down with lefts & rights, Andy now back to being a crowd favourite but by far, the favourite is Ronald McDonald who is back to his feet. Both men trade blows with the crowd cheering & booing with each punch, Ronald McDonald throws Andy to the corner... Ronald McDonald misses the corner splash, but Andy nails a splash & powerslam onto Ronald McDonald. The crowd are now split into a minor section of Andy fans & the majority backing Ronald McDonald. Both men are fighting for their lives, Andy misses a clothesline, Ronald McDonald misses & SPEAR by Andy! Andy crawling to the cover 1...2.... KICK OUT! RONALD MCDONALD KICKED OUT! THE CROWD IS ON FIRE! Ronald McDonald has got to his feet, left hook & ducks a clothesline... SHOULDER CHARGE, McDonald kips up goading Andy to his feet... Andy goes for a suplex, McDonald kneecaps Andy in the gut... MCSLAM, cover... 1...2...3! WEMBLEY ERUPTS! RONALD MCDONALD IS THE NEW SWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
And now, it's Barry Shitpeas. To close the event...
Barry: "We hope you enjoyed tonight's event. To see you off, we at SWC will sing the national anthem. Ahem."
*Everyone in the arena sings GOD SAVE THE QUEEN...*
Barry: "And now, please stay for one final performance from the theme song for tonight, please welcome back... SPACE!"
Without further ado, the first match.
Match 1: James May vs Yoshimitsu. IC Title match
James May entering in his Fiat Panda, while Yoshimitsu enters with martial arts weapons & shit.
Yoshimitsu starts off tonights event with a series off kicks to May, some good offense by Yoshimistu on the greatest stage of them all, It'd be a good way to prove yourself winning the intercontinental title tonight, James May counters & throws Yoshimitsu into the corner, beating him down & a dropkick into Yoshimitsu's face, that's gotta hurt! James May targeting Yoshimitsu's legs May then picks up Yoshimitsu... AIIIEEE Enzuguiri~! Jamesu May~! Only one outcome here.... CLUTCH CONTROL locked in & Yoshimitsu taps out. Brave effort & we thank him for it. Ha, no we don't!
Barry Shitpeas: "And now a performance from Carly Rae Jepsen! Only here because Ed fancies her..."
WHAT A GREAT PERFORMANCE! Oh & Barry, it's Mr. Ed to you. Make that mistake again & I'll have you looking after Bieber...
Match 2: James Bond vs Captain Carpentry
James Bond has his special entrance, dodging baddies & Captain Carpentry enters on a golden chariot!
Both men shake hands before the bell & James Bond immediately goes for the sharpshooter before being countered by the captain who springs up & begins a good chain wrestling combo & James Bond also responds, this is a good representation of what a game of wrestling tennis is, back & forth no one showing a sign of letting up. 5 minutes later & both men appear to be getting tired, they're slowing the pace down & trying to force a mistake... Captain Carpentry with the rebate powerbomb out of nowhere! 1...2...3! Captain Carpentry with a smash & grab win, he's aiming his sights for whoever the champion is after Fluck-The-Cluckamania...
*In the locker room*
Dimmick: "...Don't be scared laddie, it's only a ladder match. cud be werse like.... I cud be facin dat robot or our slendeh, tonite cud be make or break for me..."
Mumford: "LOL I'M GONNA CLIMB THE LADDER & GET THAT BRIEFCASE, I THINK IT'S FULL OF ACORNS!"
George: "Why on earth do you think you two are even getting near the briefcase? It's mine, I'll climb that ladder first & don't even think of damaging my clothes, they're worth more than your salary..."
Match 3: THE WANK BANK match. Mumford vs George vs Dimmick vs The Stig vs Trevor Rent vs Louis Spence
So many ladders, why did Mumford enter on a motorised toilet? The match is underway & Mumford goes straight for a ladder, The Stig snatching it off Mumford & throws the ladder at him, George beating down Trevor Rent placing him in the corner & choking him out, Louis Spence places a ladder in the middle of the ring as Mumford & The Stig continue fighting outside Trevor Rent with his modified russian leg sweep onto the steps out side sending the stig out cold, George climbing the ladder, Mumford places The Stig onto the announce table... George can see Dimmick coming & MOONSAULT OFF THE LADDER ONTO THE STIG, OH MY FUCK! THAT HAS TO HURT! Neil Dimmick has to fend off Louis Spence, last year's winner & throws him out of the ring, Mumford & Dimmick in the ring both have put the ladder around their shoulders & heads & NOW THEY'RE SPINNING AROUND & hitting everyone, Dimmick gets Mumford.
Dimmick places the ladder down. 20 minutes gone in this match, Dimmick climbs the ladder... He's at the top! Wait, George has caught him, he's going for an electric chair drop off the ladder.... Dimmick holds on to the cable suspending the briefcase as George falls down! ALL HE HAS TO DO IS UNHOOK IT... Dimmick gets one hand on the clasp & unhooks it. *DING DING DING* OH MY GOD, DIMMICK HAS WON THE WANK BANK MATCH & GUARANTEES A WORLD TITLE SHOT ANY TIME ANY PLACE ANY WHERE! HE HIMSELF CAN'T BELIEVE IT... UH OH, the look on George's face... If looks could kill, he'd be a serial killer by now. George can't believe he basically helped Dimmick
Dimmick: "YYYYEEEEEEESSSS! Cheers Georgie boy!"
Match 4: SWC Championship. Slenderman vs Gabriel Logan
Gabe: "Hey Slendy, remember this? *Holds up a shiny coin* it's the blessed amulet from a charity shop. Protects against curses... You're mine now"
Slenderman appears to be weakened, this can't be right? Gabriel Logan is beating down Slenderman. I've never seen him so weak! This has to be the most one sided title match & I have to say I thought it'd be one sided in favour of Slenderman! 7 & a half minutes in, Logan hits Slendy with The Devil's Whisper... Cover. 1...2...3! WE HAVE A NEW SWC CHAMPION GABRIEL LOGAN, WHERE HE FOUND THAT COIN I HAVE NO CLUE! Thank god I work on KOKDown, at least things make sense...
Barry: "Ladies & Gentlemen, before tonight's main event. We have tonight's attendance... 81,628! But before we kick off tonight's main event... The last of our bands performing tonight... The Lavender Fudge Experience with their number one hit, The Nudist & Mr Pendleton!"
That was awesome, a true number one. But without further ado our main event!
Main event: SWC World Heavyweight Championship Andy (c) vs Ronald McDonald.
Andy enters on a double decker bus. Ronald McDonald enters with his red & yellow feather boas.
Andy wastes no time in taking Ronald McDonald down, beating him down with lefts & rights, Andy now back to being a crowd favourite but by far, the favourite is Ronald McDonald who is back to his feet. Both men trade blows with the crowd cheering & booing with each punch, Ronald McDonald throws Andy to the corner... Ronald McDonald misses the corner splash, but Andy nails a splash & powerslam onto Ronald McDonald. The crowd are now split into a minor section of Andy fans & the majority backing Ronald McDonald. Both men are fighting for their lives, Andy misses a clothesline, Ronald McDonald misses & SPEAR by Andy! Andy crawling to the cover 1...2.... KICK OUT! RONALD MCDONALD KICKED OUT! THE CROWD IS ON FIRE! Ronald McDonald has got to his feet, left hook & ducks a clothesline... SHOULDER CHARGE, McDonald kips up goading Andy to his feet... Andy goes for a suplex, McDonald kneecaps Andy in the gut... MCSLAM, cover... 1...2...3! WEMBLEY ERUPTS! RONALD MCDONALD IS THE NEW SWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
And now, it's Barry Shitpeas. To close the event...
Barry: "We hope you enjoyed tonight's event. To see you off, we at SWC will sing the national anthem. Ahem."
*Everyone in the arena sings GOD SAVE THE QUEEN...*
Barry: "And now, please stay for one final performance from the theme song for tonight, please welcome back... SPACE!"
