Post by Elder Gohan on May 19, 2013 12:40:02 GMT -5
*Insert Generic Intro*
PPV Song: Linkin Park - Faint
Match 1: Commonwealth Championship: Trevor Rent (c) vs Todd Mortar
Trevor Rent & Todd Mortar have no love lost. Even as far back as SWC: Nextgen they've been at eachothers throats, both men have allied with other superstars, Mortar allied with Johnny Triplearse & Trevor Rent allied with Barry Shitpeas. The match is a few minutes in, with Shitpeas ringside saying he will reveal the third member of his crew if Trevor Rent wins... Right now it's pretty even with both men just wearing eachother down, Todd Mortar has just lifted Trevor Rent into the fireman's carry! Rent counters into the modified russian leg sweep! 1.2.3! Trevor Rent retains the Commonwealth Championship, oh no... Shitpeas & Rent are beating down Todd Mortar, this isn't how it's supposed to be! Hey wait it's Johnny Triplearse to make the save! Rent & Shitpeas cower away...
Rent: "Hey daughters, I think it's time we told the world who the third member of our group is..."
OH MY GOD! JOHNNY TRIPLEARSE HAS TRIPLE POWERBOMBED TODD MORTAR! IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG, WHAT AN ACT OF BETRAYAL BY JOHNNY TRIPLEARSE...
Spider-Man beat Peter Griffin. They both shake hands & agree to be friends again.
Match 3: Intercontinental Championship: James May (c) vs Mikey
Mikey has been shitting it for weeks, he's gotta make James May tap out to win the IC title. Easier said than done, because James May has held the title for 392 days! Mikey is getting battered despite the size advantage, Mikey has to fight back to even have a chance at the title... James May is targeting the back of Mikey, c'mon kid people are counting on ya! Clutch Control locked in tight, Mikey has no chance but to tap out. Never had a chance.
Gabe Logan retained the SWC Championship vs Slenderman
Main Event: SWC World Heavyweight Championship: 6 man Hell in a Cell: Dimmick (c) vs Ronald McDonald vs George vs Captain Carpentry vs James Bond vs Jake Jolson
6 dangerous men locked inside one of SWC's most brutal structures... They've just started battering t' fuck owt eachother, twat 'im go on lad, at's it! George is on the receiving end of one of Jake Jolson's beatings, how on earth is Neil Dimmick, gonna walk away from this one? He had trouble looking convincing against Rey, now he has to contend with 5 of SWC's premier talent & one of those is Jake Jolson! Speaking of Jolson, he's just opened the cell door with James Bond's head & forcing him to climb the cell. 007 & Jolson up top, Jake Jolson with 2 snooker balls in a sock, whacks 007 & shoves him off the top of the cell~!
George at this point is barely able to stand, Captain Carpentry knows this & struggles to hit the rebate powerbomb, Neil Dimmick is hidden somewhere amongst the blood & carnage. Take note WWE, this is how you do a hell in a cell! Jake Jolson with a Clothesline from Bethnal Green onto Dimmick! He's out... 1.2... George forces a kickout & low blow to Jolson & FACELIFT, can George become the World Champion for longer than five minutes? Captain Carpentry beats a surprisingly anonymous Ronald McDonald with the steel steps, 25 minutes of pure carnage hasn't produced a winner yet. Whoever wins will be most deserving, George is looking deflated, JOLSON HITS THE CLOTHESLINE FROM BETHNAL GREEN ON GEORGE! REBATE POWERBOMB ONTO JOLSON! DE-CORER ONTO THE CAPTAIN! MCSLAM ON DIMMICK! 007 rolls up McDonald & locks in the sharpshooter! 007 HAS THIS FOR SURE, ALL HE HAS TO DO NOW IS HOLD ON... MCDONALD TRIES TO GRAB THE BOTTOM ROPE, INCHES AWAY... 007 ROLLS FORWARD SENDING MCDONALD INTO THE CENTER OFF THE RING! 007 TIES A CHAIR & MODIFIES THE SHARPSHOOTER INTO A FIGURE 4 LEG LOCK! JOLSON COVERS 1...2...3...!
Jake Jolson thinks he's the world champion, but McDonald tapped at the same time! We're bringing out that old chestnut, the video referee. We await his decision...
Video Referee: "After reviewing the footage, using state of the art technology, we can reveal..."
Video Referee: "At 32 minutes 45.7 seconds, Jake Jolson had pinned James Bond. At 32 minutes... FORTY... FIVE... Point... NINE SECONDS, Ronald McDonald tapped out. This means that by video referee's decision... Ladies and Gentlemen, at 32 minutes, 45.7 seconds, by way of referee's decision... Your winner & NEW SWC World Heavyweight Champion... JAKE JOLSON!"
PPV Song: Linkin Park - Faint
Match 1: Commonwealth Championship: Trevor Rent (c) vs Todd Mortar
Trevor Rent & Todd Mortar have no love lost. Even as far back as SWC: Nextgen they've been at eachothers throats, both men have allied with other superstars, Mortar allied with Johnny Triplearse & Trevor Rent allied with Barry Shitpeas. The match is a few minutes in, with Shitpeas ringside saying he will reveal the third member of his crew if Trevor Rent wins... Right now it's pretty even with both men just wearing eachother down, Todd Mortar has just lifted Trevor Rent into the fireman's carry! Rent counters into the modified russian leg sweep! 1.2.3! Trevor Rent retains the Commonwealth Championship, oh no... Shitpeas & Rent are beating down Todd Mortar, this isn't how it's supposed to be! Hey wait it's Johnny Triplearse to make the save! Rent & Shitpeas cower away...
Rent: "Hey daughters, I think it's time we told the world who the third member of our group is..."
OH MY GOD! JOHNNY TRIPLEARSE HAS TRIPLE POWERBOMBED TODD MORTAR! IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG, WHAT AN ACT OF BETRAYAL BY JOHNNY TRIPLEARSE...
Spider-Man beat Peter Griffin. They both shake hands & agree to be friends again.
Match 3: Intercontinental Championship: James May (c) vs Mikey
Mikey has been shitting it for weeks, he's gotta make James May tap out to win the IC title. Easier said than done, because James May has held the title for 392 days! Mikey is getting battered despite the size advantage, Mikey has to fight back to even have a chance at the title... James May is targeting the back of Mikey, c'mon kid people are counting on ya! Clutch Control locked in tight, Mikey has no chance but to tap out. Never had a chance.
Gabe Logan retained the SWC Championship vs Slenderman
Main Event: SWC World Heavyweight Championship: 6 man Hell in a Cell: Dimmick (c) vs Ronald McDonald vs George vs Captain Carpentry vs James Bond vs Jake Jolson
6 dangerous men locked inside one of SWC's most brutal structures... They've just started battering t' fuck owt eachother, twat 'im go on lad, at's it! George is on the receiving end of one of Jake Jolson's beatings, how on earth is Neil Dimmick, gonna walk away from this one? He had trouble looking convincing against Rey, now he has to contend with 5 of SWC's premier talent & one of those is Jake Jolson! Speaking of Jolson, he's just opened the cell door with James Bond's head & forcing him to climb the cell. 007 & Jolson up top, Jake Jolson with 2 snooker balls in a sock, whacks 007 & shoves him off the top of the cell~!
George at this point is barely able to stand, Captain Carpentry knows this & struggles to hit the rebate powerbomb, Neil Dimmick is hidden somewhere amongst the blood & carnage. Take note WWE, this is how you do a hell in a cell! Jake Jolson with a Clothesline from Bethnal Green onto Dimmick! He's out... 1.2... George forces a kickout & low blow to Jolson & FACELIFT, can George become the World Champion for longer than five minutes? Captain Carpentry beats a surprisingly anonymous Ronald McDonald with the steel steps, 25 minutes of pure carnage hasn't produced a winner yet. Whoever wins will be most deserving, George is looking deflated, JOLSON HITS THE CLOTHESLINE FROM BETHNAL GREEN ON GEORGE! REBATE POWERBOMB ONTO JOLSON! DE-CORER ONTO THE CAPTAIN! MCSLAM ON DIMMICK! 007 rolls up McDonald & locks in the sharpshooter! 007 HAS THIS FOR SURE, ALL HE HAS TO DO NOW IS HOLD ON... MCDONALD TRIES TO GRAB THE BOTTOM ROPE, INCHES AWAY... 007 ROLLS FORWARD SENDING MCDONALD INTO THE CENTER OFF THE RING! 007 TIES A CHAIR & MODIFIES THE SHARPSHOOTER INTO A FIGURE 4 LEG LOCK! JOLSON COVERS 1...2...3...!
Jake Jolson thinks he's the world champion, but McDonald tapped at the same time! We're bringing out that old chestnut, the video referee. We await his decision...
Video Referee: "After reviewing the footage, using state of the art technology, we can reveal..."
Video Referee: "At 32 minutes 45.7 seconds, Jake Jolson had pinned James Bond. At 32 minutes... FORTY... FIVE... Point... NINE SECONDS, Ronald McDonald tapped out. This means that by video referee's decision... Ladies and Gentlemen, at 32 minutes, 45.7 seconds, by way of referee's decision... Your winner & NEW SWC World Heavyweight Champion... JAKE JOLSON!"
