Post by Elder Gohan on Mar 27, 2015 17:17:58 GMT -5
*Cut to the doctors office*
Dr Nellis: "It's no wonder you're always injuring yourself, Hank. RAWR has you jumping through hoops just to keep you in shape, your bones are literally rotting away! I'm honestly surprised you're still walking let alone still on the roster!"
Hank: "I'm so shagged out & I'm only 24!"
Dr: "Exactly. We can prolong your career, but you won't have long. RAWR has shortened your career by decades!"
Hank: "Doc, you're bringing me down. I knew I was in a bad way, but damn... I guess I have to make a few decisions."
Dr: "Oh, we could replace a few bones."
Hank: "D'ya have the tech?!?"
Dr: "Oh please, SWC can bring people back from the dead ffs!"
Hank: "Oh that's because Mr. Ed hasn't signed anyone decent!" (Oh go and injure yourself signing an autograph you twat)
Hank: "And who's the lovely assistant "
Dr: "Yeah, you have to take it easy for a while. No sexual activity, light workouts only"
Grado pinned Gentleman Jim.
Jim: "Good sir, you will put your title on the line at Cracklash, accept the fight you coward!"
Grado: "On yersel' wee man. It's oan 'en!"
Mumford pinned Ed
Mumford: "I WILL GET WHOEVER ATTACKED ME & MY WIFE! AND I PROMISE IT WON'T BE FUN. PLAYING IN A BALL PIT IS FUN! AND SO IS CLAW MACHINES I ALWAYS GET THE STUFFED TEDDIES, ONCE I GOT A SCOOBY DOO TEDDY & I WENT YYYAAAAAAAYYY! BUT WHOEVER HIT MY WIFE THEY WON'T GO YYAAAAAAAYYY!"
Andy pinned George in a close match.
Jeff Stelling: "Now as you may know, after the draft. We have the kickstart your career initiative, Ramirez is ineligible to be drafted as he has qualified for the WrestleOff. However, I'll push this button & we have selected... Find out after the break!"
Captain Carpentry: "I told all of ya! I would still be your world champion and still retain my streak! The big 5-0 and you all boo the captain, you tell him 'oh Ronald is my champion and i love him yaaay i got all of his posters!' NO ONE GIVES A CRAP! Because I whooped his ass at Fluck-The-Cluckamania and all he could do was yell and scream like a BITCH! Now he's gonna run off for months because his old ass is sad. I AM THE NUMBER ONE ATTRACTION ON THIS BRAND, HELL EVEN THE COMPANY. You morons will now witness me in the main event, you will see greatness & you'll cheer. Because....
*The debutant makes his entrance*
Captain: "Who the fuck are you?!? How dare you interrupt a legend, you are in the presence of royalty, now bow to me!"
??: "MY NAME... IS 'THE ACE IN THE PACK' TRUMPCARD!"
Captain: "GREEEEAAAAAT *childishly* MY NAME IS TRUMPCARD I'M THE 4 OF DIAMONDS & I'M NOT A ROYAL FLUSH I'M A ROYAL JOKE! Get the hell outta my ring!"
*There's the bell*
I think we have a match! Trumpcard vs Captain Carpentry, this could be fun... Captain Carpentry with a boot to the face, it was all going well so far... Trumpcard's face paint is dripping off, this is brutal the crowd are booing like mad, welcome to SWC Trumpcard!
*Ronald McDonald's theme plays*
Wait a minute?!? Could this be?!? 1...2....3?!?!? OH MY GOD A HUGE DISTRACTION COSTS CAPTAIN CARPENTRY THE MATCH!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER: TRUMPCARD!
Dr Nellis: "It's no wonder you're always injuring yourself, Hank. RAWR has you jumping through hoops just to keep you in shape, your bones are literally rotting away! I'm honestly surprised you're still walking let alone still on the roster!"
Hank: "I'm so shagged out & I'm only 24!"
Dr: "Exactly. We can prolong your career, but you won't have long. RAWR has shortened your career by decades!"
Hank: "Doc, you're bringing me down. I knew I was in a bad way, but damn... I guess I have to make a few decisions."
Dr: "Oh, we could replace a few bones."
Hank: "D'ya have the tech?!?"
Dr: "Oh please, SWC can bring people back from the dead ffs!"
Hank: "Oh that's because Mr. Ed hasn't signed anyone decent!" (Oh go and injure yourself signing an autograph you twat)
Hank: "And who's the lovely assistant "
Dr: "Yeah, you have to take it easy for a while. No sexual activity, light workouts only"
Grado pinned Gentleman Jim.
Jim: "Good sir, you will put your title on the line at Cracklash, accept the fight you coward!"
Grado: "On yersel' wee man. It's oan 'en!"
Mumford pinned Ed
Mumford: "I WILL GET WHOEVER ATTACKED ME & MY WIFE! AND I PROMISE IT WON'T BE FUN. PLAYING IN A BALL PIT IS FUN! AND SO IS CLAW MACHINES I ALWAYS GET THE STUFFED TEDDIES, ONCE I GOT A SCOOBY DOO TEDDY & I WENT YYYAAAAAAAYYY! BUT WHOEVER HIT MY WIFE THEY WON'T GO YYAAAAAAAYYY!"
Andy pinned George in a close match.
Jeff Stelling: "Now as you may know, after the draft. We have the kickstart your career initiative, Ramirez is ineligible to be drafted as he has qualified for the WrestleOff. However, I'll push this button & we have selected... Find out after the break!"
Captain Carpentry: "I told all of ya! I would still be your world champion and still retain my streak! The big 5-0 and you all boo the captain, you tell him 'oh Ronald is my champion and i love him yaaay i got all of his posters!' NO ONE GIVES A CRAP! Because I whooped his ass at Fluck-The-Cluckamania and all he could do was yell and scream like a BITCH! Now he's gonna run off for months because his old ass is sad. I AM THE NUMBER ONE ATTRACTION ON THIS BRAND, HELL EVEN THE COMPANY. You morons will now witness me in the main event, you will see greatness & you'll cheer. Because....
*The debutant makes his entrance*
Captain: "Who the fuck are you?!? How dare you interrupt a legend, you are in the presence of royalty, now bow to me!"
??: "MY NAME... IS 'THE ACE IN THE PACK' TRUMPCARD!"
Captain: "GREEEEAAAAAT *childishly* MY NAME IS TRUMPCARD I'M THE 4 OF DIAMONDS & I'M NOT A ROYAL FLUSH I'M A ROYAL JOKE! Get the hell outta my ring!"
*There's the bell*
I think we have a match! Trumpcard vs Captain Carpentry, this could be fun... Captain Carpentry with a boot to the face, it was all going well so far... Trumpcard's face paint is dripping off, this is brutal the crowd are booing like mad, welcome to SWC Trumpcard!
*Ronald McDonald's theme plays*
Wait a minute?!? Could this be?!? 1...2....3?!?!? OH MY GOD A HUGE DISTRACTION COSTS CAPTAIN CARPENTRY THE MATCH!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER: TRUMPCARD!