Post by Elder Gohan on Oct 31, 2011 15:22:48 GMT -5
Welcome to SWC live in the middle of nowhere! Bringing you all the best in SWC action!
Match 1: Captain Carpentry vs Severus Snape
This match starting off with Snape launching the captain way up high & throwing him to the canvas face first, Snape pounding on the head before choking him with his shoelaces referee stops him. Damnit, this new referee just stops everything, what a wanker but Snape locking in a chinlock the captain can't move. The captain rises to his feet but Snape trips him and plants him on the floor locking in the same chinlock again, Snape elbowing the head while doing so Captain Carpentry gets up & counters with a firemans carry slam the captain stumbling to his corner wants to compose himself for a minute as Snape saunters over to the captain but, he gets a left boot to the face. Captain Carpentry puts an ankle lock on Snape, who loses his untied shoe, Captain Carpentry releases the hold & picks up the shoe... HE THREW IT INTO THE AUDIENCE! SNAPE LOSES A SHOE! Captain Carpentry puts the ankle lock back on but Snape counters. Snape looks a bit angry here both men trading lefts and rights, Snape clotheslines the captain mounting him, lefts and rights by Snape the captain countering mounting Snape and doing some of the same, both men stand up looking for an opening Snape tries some Expelliarmus... Missed into the bent position & THE REBATE BY CAPTAIN CARPENTRY! COVER 1.2.3! Captain Carpentry picks an important.
Winner: Captain Carpentry
Interview with SWC superstars ft Rey
Rey: "HAY GUYZ CAN I TLK WIV YOO"
Superstars: "UGH This assbox is part of the interview team. Spence, Spidey & Bond, go see what he wants."
Bond: "Rey, what is it?"
Rey: "u suck dick spencer"
Louis Spence: "Darling, first my name is Louis Spence. Second who are you to talk down my abilities. Finally, you noticed I was a homosexual well I already knew that as did the rest of the world."
Rey: "stop bustin ma balls spencer"
Louis Spence: "I have no intention."
Rey: "umm ok like is james bond british i know who spidey is lol"
James Bond: "You tell me actually... No, don't tell me because you'll only say something extremely stupid."
Rey: "that doesnt aswer my kwestun..."
*Locker room facepalms*
Match 2: Spider-Man vs Justin Bieber
Spiderman starts off with an amazing counter flipping over a left hand, Spidey then lifts Bieber up with a suplex before heading to the top turnbuckle moonsault incoming & Bieber gets the knees up & stomps on Spidey's head twice, Bieber keeps striking as Spidey gets to his feet & shrugs off Bieber both these "men" are high flyers, so we should see some aerial moves like the dropkick Spidey just did. Spider man going for the Spider Suplex just as that CJ an OHW superstar attacks him *DING DING* This match is a no contest and that bitch CJ is attacking but he gets chucked out the ring. YES
Spider-Man: "Damnit, when will you assholes learn. STOP ATTACKING US OR WE WILL SORT YOUR ASS OUT!"
Justin: "Spidey's right, you guys just wont leave us alone. So we propose that Nov 13, Survival of the Fittest... IT'S SWC VS OHW Winner survives as a company!
What a proposal! Men, stars & Rey could lose jobs!
Match 3: Osama Bin Laden vs Krusty IC Title match
Krusty starts off better, but both men recieving abuse from the audience as Krusty takes down Osama with a scoop slam. Krusty taunting the SWC fans & boots him in the jaw then unleashes a right hand to the face, Osama laying there while Krusty getting a little cocky. Little TOO cocky as Osama rolls him up 1.2 very nearly a three as Osama elbows the gut of Krusty, Osama takes him to the corner and slams Krusty's head against it Osama rips the cover off it & slams Krusty's head against it no rule against it in the SWC rulebook, Osama now drop toehold & CAMEL CLUTCH locked in, Krusty can't move he's talked a big game but he's shit in reality. Krusty inches away from the ropes now centimetres, fingertips on the ropes as Osama applies more pressure... KRUSTY TAPS OUT! You assbox you were 5 miliseconds away!
Winner: Krusty
Match 4: Homer Simpson vs ??
Homer: "You jerks out here slate me, but do you know how hard it is to step in here? No you damn don't. SO SHUT UP!" "I'd also like to find out my opponent as well."
*Rey appears onscreen*
Rey: "Dat prez guy sais yoo are facing hmm DARTH VADER! whoever dat is lol AND... GUN JACK lol"
Dis gon be good! Both are giants, they cant agree who gets to go in first! Amidst the arguing, Homer tries to cheapshot Gun Jack... Big mistake as Jack starting out here lifts Homer with one hand & starts punching the head of Homer 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10 TEN PUNCHES! Jack tosses him towards the ropes big boot to the face of Homer. Jack tags in Vader who drops the legs across Homer then dropping a fist before picking up Homer and launching him into the previously exposed turnbuckle. Vader runs up & a huge splash, Vader whips Homer to the other corner & tags in Jack who tackles Homer, Jack just toying with him now but Homer gets a few punches in... But ends up with a chop to the chest. Tag into Vader who decides thats enough & THE FORCE & DIVE BOMBER FROM THE TOP ROPE. Cover 1.2.3! Homer Simpson completely defeated.
Winner: Gun Jack & Darth Vader
Main Event: Ronald McDonald vs Yoshimitsu
Both men can't wait to get started, but they have to wait for the referees signal this time & go! CJ & 47 are here, can't they just fuck off? McDonald & Mitsu attacked!
SWC President: "CJ & Agent 47, your behaviour is really dire. You will be punished by me, that is: A tag team match with Ronald McDonald and... YOSHIMITSU! But, you aren't allowed hardcore rules. SWC ARE! SWC have no rope breaks & can leave the ring at will. You don't & can't. SWC can score a regular 3 count. You have to score a 10 count! You want to come here, now it's time to play by our rules!"
McDonald grabs a chair & throws it at CJ & Yoshimitsu kicks it knocking CJ down! Yoshimitsu with an elbow drop to CJ. Hey thats a midget he's handcuffed Agent 47 to the ringpost! 2 on 1 in SWC favour YES! McDonald now the legal man kicks CJ in the face as the two just beat CJ down, OHW should finally get the message no doubt. Several minutes into the "match" McDonald... McSlam cover 1.2.3! PINFALL BY RONALD MCDONALD, but McDonald offers 'Mitsu a handshake!?! 'Mitsu accepts
Yoshimitsu: "Hey, this don't mean a thing. Once this SWC vs OHW shit is over, we're enemies again. Got it?"
Match 1: Captain Carpentry vs Severus Snape
This match starting off with Snape launching the captain way up high & throwing him to the canvas face first, Snape pounding on the head before choking him with his shoelaces referee stops him. Damnit, this new referee just stops everything, what a wanker but Snape locking in a chinlock the captain can't move. The captain rises to his feet but Snape trips him and plants him on the floor locking in the same chinlock again, Snape elbowing the head while doing so Captain Carpentry gets up & counters with a firemans carry slam the captain stumbling to his corner wants to compose himself for a minute as Snape saunters over to the captain but, he gets a left boot to the face. Captain Carpentry puts an ankle lock on Snape, who loses his untied shoe, Captain Carpentry releases the hold & picks up the shoe... HE THREW IT INTO THE AUDIENCE! SNAPE LOSES A SHOE! Captain Carpentry puts the ankle lock back on but Snape counters. Snape looks a bit angry here both men trading lefts and rights, Snape clotheslines the captain mounting him, lefts and rights by Snape the captain countering mounting Snape and doing some of the same, both men stand up looking for an opening Snape tries some Expelliarmus... Missed into the bent position & THE REBATE BY CAPTAIN CARPENTRY! COVER 1.2.3! Captain Carpentry picks an important.
Winner: Captain Carpentry
Interview with SWC superstars ft Rey
Rey: "HAY GUYZ CAN I TLK WIV YOO"
Superstars: "UGH This assbox is part of the interview team. Spence, Spidey & Bond, go see what he wants."
Bond: "Rey, what is it?"
Rey: "u suck dick spencer"
Louis Spence: "Darling, first my name is Louis Spence. Second who are you to talk down my abilities. Finally, you noticed I was a homosexual well I already knew that as did the rest of the world."
Rey: "stop bustin ma balls spencer"
Louis Spence: "I have no intention."
Rey: "umm ok like is james bond british i know who spidey is lol"
James Bond: "You tell me actually... No, don't tell me because you'll only say something extremely stupid."
Rey: "that doesnt aswer my kwestun..."
*Locker room facepalms*
Match 2: Spider-Man vs Justin Bieber
Spiderman starts off with an amazing counter flipping over a left hand, Spidey then lifts Bieber up with a suplex before heading to the top turnbuckle moonsault incoming & Bieber gets the knees up & stomps on Spidey's head twice, Bieber keeps striking as Spidey gets to his feet & shrugs off Bieber both these "men" are high flyers, so we should see some aerial moves like the dropkick Spidey just did. Spider man going for the Spider Suplex just as that CJ an OHW superstar attacks him *DING DING* This match is a no contest and that bitch CJ is attacking but he gets chucked out the ring. YES
Spider-Man: "Damnit, when will you assholes learn. STOP ATTACKING US OR WE WILL SORT YOUR ASS OUT!"
Justin: "Spidey's right, you guys just wont leave us alone. So we propose that Nov 13, Survival of the Fittest... IT'S SWC VS OHW Winner survives as a company!
What a proposal! Men, stars & Rey could lose jobs!
Match 3: Osama Bin Laden vs Krusty IC Title match
Krusty starts off better, but both men recieving abuse from the audience as Krusty takes down Osama with a scoop slam. Krusty taunting the SWC fans & boots him in the jaw then unleashes a right hand to the face, Osama laying there while Krusty getting a little cocky. Little TOO cocky as Osama rolls him up 1.2 very nearly a three as Osama elbows the gut of Krusty, Osama takes him to the corner and slams Krusty's head against it Osama rips the cover off it & slams Krusty's head against it no rule against it in the SWC rulebook, Osama now drop toehold & CAMEL CLUTCH locked in, Krusty can't move he's talked a big game but he's shit in reality. Krusty inches away from the ropes now centimetres, fingertips on the ropes as Osama applies more pressure... KRUSTY TAPS OUT! You assbox you were 5 miliseconds away!
Winner: Krusty
Match 4: Homer Simpson vs ??
Homer: "You jerks out here slate me, but do you know how hard it is to step in here? No you damn don't. SO SHUT UP!" "I'd also like to find out my opponent as well."
*Rey appears onscreen*
Rey: "Dat prez guy sais yoo are facing hmm DARTH VADER! whoever dat is lol AND... GUN JACK lol"
Dis gon be good! Both are giants, they cant agree who gets to go in first! Amidst the arguing, Homer tries to cheapshot Gun Jack... Big mistake as Jack starting out here lifts Homer with one hand & starts punching the head of Homer 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10 TEN PUNCHES! Jack tosses him towards the ropes big boot to the face of Homer. Jack tags in Vader who drops the legs across Homer then dropping a fist before picking up Homer and launching him into the previously exposed turnbuckle. Vader runs up & a huge splash, Vader whips Homer to the other corner & tags in Jack who tackles Homer, Jack just toying with him now but Homer gets a few punches in... But ends up with a chop to the chest. Tag into Vader who decides thats enough & THE FORCE & DIVE BOMBER FROM THE TOP ROPE. Cover 1.2.3! Homer Simpson completely defeated.
Winner: Gun Jack & Darth Vader
Main Event: Ronald McDonald vs Yoshimitsu
Both men can't wait to get started, but they have to wait for the referees signal this time & go! CJ & 47 are here, can't they just fuck off? McDonald & Mitsu attacked!
SWC President: "CJ & Agent 47, your behaviour is really dire. You will be punished by me, that is: A tag team match with Ronald McDonald and... YOSHIMITSU! But, you aren't allowed hardcore rules. SWC ARE! SWC have no rope breaks & can leave the ring at will. You don't & can't. SWC can score a regular 3 count. You have to score a 10 count! You want to come here, now it's time to play by our rules!"
McDonald grabs a chair & throws it at CJ & Yoshimitsu kicks it knocking CJ down! Yoshimitsu with an elbow drop to CJ. Hey thats a midget he's handcuffed Agent 47 to the ringpost! 2 on 1 in SWC favour YES! McDonald now the legal man kicks CJ in the face as the two just beat CJ down, OHW should finally get the message no doubt. Several minutes into the "match" McDonald... McSlam cover 1.2.3! PINFALL BY RONALD MCDONALD, but McDonald offers 'Mitsu a handshake!?! 'Mitsu accepts
Yoshimitsu: "Hey, this don't mean a thing. Once this SWC vs OHW shit is over, we're enemies again. Got it?"