SWC slightly better superstar thread

[Elder Gohan]

Less faffing around, more information

Andy



Real name: Andrew Pipkin
Height & Weight: 5'10 260
Finisher: Spear
Birthday: 5th March 1984
Hometown: Herby, England
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi23mzPj7_4
alt. www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmrdyLjnC4Y

Andy is one half of Little Britain, alongside his bestfriend Lou. On occasion they have known to fall out, very rarely Lou & Andy have fought. Throughout his career he has tagged with Lou, winning many tag team titles, despite being in a successful tag team, Andy is no stranger to singles success, having won many world titles.

Career Highlights:

2x SWC World Heavyweight Champion
2x SWC Tag Team Champion

Barry Chuckle


On the right

Real name: Barry Elliott
Height & Weight: 5'10 195 lbs
Finisher: Chuckle Drop (electric chair drop), To Me, To You (3D)
Birthday: 24th December 1944
Hometown: Rotherham, England
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSmK5y5co7U

Barry Chuckle is one half of legendary childrens entertainers, the Chuckle Brothers. Having been on ChuckleVision since 1987, it is the longest running sitcom in the UK.

Career Highlights:

2x Tag Team Champion

Barry Scott



Height & Weight: 5'10 205 lbs
Finisher: Shining Wizard
Birthday: 6th June 1976
Hometown: London, England
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dT2iE1OBGk

Barry Scott is pretty much the English version of Billy Mays, always trying to flog Cillit Bang whenever he can.

Borat



Real name: Borat Sagdiyev
Height & Weight: 6'3 235 lbs
Finisher: Kazakhstani Krush
Birthday: 27th February 1977
Hometown: Kuzcek, Kazakhstan
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HnZQWzWcg8&feature=related

Borat is the main character of the Borat film.

Career Highlights:

2 x HardKOK Champion

Captain Carpentry



Real name: Barry Greenslade
Height & Weight: 6'6 270 lbs
Finisher: Rebate Powerbomb
Birthday: 21st September 1988
Hometown: Carpentry Creek
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzN_ikRSn_Q

Captain Carpentry is SWC's resident super-hero, helping out the disadvantaged & help foil criminal plots. Captain Carpentry's powers include: Super Strength, exceptional ability at carpentry & the ability to fly. (banned by SWC)

Career Highlights:

1x SWC World Heavyweight Champion
1x Intercontinental Champion

Darth Vader



Height & Weight: 6'5 287 lbs
Finisher: The Force
Birthday: Unknown
Hometown: Tatooine
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bzWSJG93P8

Darth Vader is the baddie in Star Wars

Career Highlights:

Had explosive diarrhoea in the ring
less wins than Mario

Dimmick



Real name: Neil Dimmick
Height & Weight: 6' 215 lbs
Finisher: De-corer (Back Cracker)
Birthday: 3rd March 1990 (possibly)
Hometown: Liverpool, England
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNKH-Ayp2mc

Dimmick is a former ASDA or Tesco worker, all he did was stack the apples in the fruit aisle.

Career Highlights:

1x SWC World Heavyweight Champion
2013 Wank Bank Winner
3x HardKOK Champion

Ed



Height & Weight: 6'4 260 lbs
Finisher: Battering Ram
Birthday: 7th May 1989 (made it up)
Hometown: Peach Creek, USA
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujL4lr-7edI&feature=related

Ed is one of the Ed's from Ed, Edd & Eddy, he isn't too bright & possesses super strength.

Career Highlights:

1x HardKOK Champion
1x Tag Team Champion

Edd



Height & Weight: 6'1 220 lbs
Finisher: Tigerbomb
Birthday: No idea 1990
Hometown: Peach Creek, USA
Entrance theme: Same as Ed's

One of the Ed's

Career Highlights:

1x Tag Team Champion
Almost OHW Champion

Eddy



Height & Weight: 5'7 210 lbs
Finisher: Jawbreaker (Jumping Kick)
Birthday: No Idea 1989
Hometown: Peach Creek, USA
Entrance theme: Same as Ed's

One of the Ed's

Career Highlights:

1x Tag Team Champion

Gabe Logan



Height & Weight: 6'3 185 lbs
Finisher: The Devil's Whisper (Running STO)
Birthday: 9th September 1984
Hometown: Camden, NJ, USA
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIKQKlUWIPA&feature=related

Gabriel Logan is the main character of the Syphon Filter games, Gabe has been tasked with many missions with the objective of destroying the Syphon Filter virus.

Career Highlights:

1 x SWC Champion

George



Real name: Gevorg Sargisyan
Height & Weight: 6' 195 lbs (but don't tell him that)
Finisher: Facelift (Facecrusher)
Birthday: 13th May 1987
Hometown: Hollywood, California
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut7dB82uX5I&feature=related

George is probably one of the most arrogant, condescending & big-headed superstars in the world. His interests are fashion, himself & being fashionable, although he often brags, he 9 times out of 10 backs up his claims. Despite his small frame & effeminate looks, he is VERY tough.

Career Highlights:

1x SWC Champion
1x SWC World Heavyweight Champion

Gun Jack



Height & Weight: 7'2 450 lbs
Finisher: Dive Bomber (Jumps & lands on opponent)
Birthday: Wasn't technically born. Built in 1999
Hometown: Hell's Laboratory
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCMG_RblJe8&feature=related

Gun Jack. Quite possibly the most fearsome SWC superstars... Standing at 7 foot 2 weighing 450 pounds & harbour's a grudge against humanity, an almost homicidal grudge...

Career Highlights:

1x SWC Intercontinental Champion
King of Noons 2012

[Elder Gohan]

Been neglecting this...

Homer Simpson



Height & Weight: 6' 255 lbs
Finisher: Turnbuckle ass bump
Birthday: March 12th 1969
Hometown: Springfield, USA
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXKQAlUynOo

Ugh, do I REALLY have to explain? He's out of the Simpsons...

Career Highlights:

Chronically underpushed

Jake Jolson



Height & Weight: 6'2 265 lbs
Finisher: Clothesline from... Bethnal Green
Birthday: 1982
Hometown: Ilford, London
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=EKB074Vh75g

Jake Jolson is in The Getaway and was a fairly important character. He is the nephew of Charlie Jolson and the heir to becoming the future boss of the Bethnal Green Mob. He is considered to be a 'psycho' and has a strong hatred of Frank Carter and Mark Hammond. Jake is responsible for shooting Frank Carter's partner Joe and murdering the triad Johnny Chai by beating him to death.

Career Highlights:

1 x SWC World Heavyweight Champion

James Bond



Height & Weight: 6'1 240 lbs
Finisher: Sharpshooter
Birthday: 1979
Hometown: London, England
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sjG3jrIca8

James Bond is the main character of the James Bond films

Career Highlights:

erm...

James May



Height & Weight: 6'2 240 lbs
Finisher: Clutch Control
Birthday: January 16th 1963
Hometown: Hammersmith, West London
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oidm5Zfw_SA

James May is one third of the Top Gear presenters, often known for driving slow & being a bit old fashioned.

Career Highlights:

1 x Intercontinental Champion (344 days as of 1/4/13)

Justin Bieber SACKED!



Height & Weight: 5'7 150 lbs (if that)
Finisher: Why am I a shooting star press?
Birthday: Who the fuck cares?
Hometown: London, Ontario, Canada
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMryQlJtZRk

Justin Bieber is a bit of a tosser & is totally shit. Everyone knows that Carly Rae Jepsen is better.

Career Highlights:

Has a borderline militant fan base of 12 year old girls.
Bugger all else, maybe HardKOK Champion once...

Lou



Real name: Louis Robert Todd
Height & Weight: 6'4 250 lbs
Finisher: Queen Suplex Pin
Birthday: 20th August 1981
Hometown: Herby, England
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi23mzPj7_4

Lou is one half of Little Britain, alongside his bestfriend Andy. On occasion they have known to fall out, very rarely Lou & Andy have fought. Throughout his career he has tagged with Andy, winning many tag team titles, despite being in a successful tag team, Lou is no stranger to singles success, having won many world titles.

Career Highlights:

1x SWC World Heavyweight Champion
2 x SWC Tag Team Champion

Louis Spence



Height & Weight: 5'6 175 lbs
Finisher: Pineapple Dance Slam (powerslam with theatrics)
Birthday: April 6th 1969
Hometown: London, England
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jLGa4X5H2c

Louis Spence is a dance teacher at Pineapple Dance Studios in London, known for his energetic performances & camp lifestyle.

Career Highlights:

Wank 2012 Bank Winner
1 x SWC Champion

Luigi & Mario



Height & Weight: 6'4 250 lbs (Luigi) 5'9 265 lbs (Mario)
Finisher: 1-UP (Stunner)
Birthdays: 1979 Luigi 1980 Mario
Hometown: Mario World
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnipB_8Br8U&feature=related

Everyone knows who these two are!

Career Highlights:

1 x SWC Tag Team Titles
Longest losing streak (Mario)

Mumford



Real name: Daniel James Mumford
Height & Weight: 5'11 227 lbs
Finisher: Sliced Bread
Birthday: 7th July 1993 (I'm older than Mumford!)
Hometown: Bath, Somerset, England (ZUMMERZET! FARMER!)
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF4aaFRTUM0

Mumford was a character from an old ps1 mag ages ago. Mumford usually has a lot of crazy ideas, usually turn out quite bad. It seems he has little sense of hygiene, often chased by the obsessed Dr Jeremy Longenbaugh & somehow always avoids capture. Mumford is an avid & devoted supporter of Plymouth Argyle FC

Career Highlights:

1 x SWC World Heavyweight Champion
Shagged the GM

Niko Bellic



Height & Weight: 6'1 240 lbs
Finisher: Flatliner (complete shot)
Birthday: 1980
Hometown: Belgrade, Serbia
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWBI05wBYio

Niko Bellic is the protagonist in GTA 4

Career Highlights

1 x HardKOK Champion

Osama bin Laden



Height & Weight: 6'4 215 lbs
Finisher: Camel Clutch
Birthday: March 10th 1957
Hometown: The Kingdom of Arabia
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAq8d9NDsT0

Osama bin Laden was a terrorist & he was shot. Somehow he's an SWC wrestler, god only knows how...

Career Highlights:

1 x SWC Intercontinental Champion
2 x HardKOK Champion

Paul Chuckle



On the left

Real name: Paul Elliott
Height & Weight: 6'4 235 lbs
Finisher: Chuckle Driver (piledriver), To Me To You (3D)
Birthday: 18th October 1947
Hometown: Rotherham, England
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSmK5y5co7U

Paul Chuckle is one half of legendary childrens entertainers, the Chuckle Brothers. Having been on ChuckleVision since 1987, it is the longest running sitcom in the UK.

Career Highlights:

2012 Royal Bumble winner
2 x Tag Team Champion

Peter Griffin



Height & Weight: 5'11 300 lbs
Finisher: Spear
Birthday: 1969
Hometown: Quahog, USA
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXLqMB6vBic&feature=fvsr

CBA TO WRITE THIS BIT, YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO PETER GRIFFIN IS...

Career Highlights:

Wrestled in the first ever SWC match
...That's it really.

Ronald McDonald



Height & Weight: 6'5 265 lbs
Finisher: McSlam (Angle Slam)
Birthday: 1989
Hometown: McDonaldLand
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xrwsBO3Zwg

Ronald McDonald is, you should know him!

Career Highlights:

2013 Royal Bumble winner
1 x SWC Champion
1 x SWC World Heavyweight Champion

Severus Snape



Height & Weight: 6'0 220 lbs
Finisher: Expelliarmus (Super Kick)
Birthday: 9th January 1970
Hometown: Cokeworth, England
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zCNHVMIYqiA

Severus Snape is a professor in Harry Potter, he's not a baddie in the films, but he's slightly evil.

Career Highlights:

Most amount of failed title shots

Shrek



Height & Weight: 4'11 345 lbs
Finisher: Swamp Drop (Samoan Drop)
Birthday: No idea
Hometown: The Swamp
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVjP-xlw6U4

Shrek is an ogre from the Shrek films.

Career Highlights:

Once told Krusty to fuck off

Slenderman



Height & Weight: 8 feet tall! 145 lbs
Finisher: Chokeslam
Birthday: Not sure
Hometown: Your Darkest Fears
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeqWtntr2Qc

Slenderman is a mythical creature & the subject of many creepy stories. Many of these stories involve being abducted in the woods & being mentally tortured by the appearance of Slenderman before it kills you.

Career Highlights:

1 x SWC Champion

Spider-Man



Real Name: Peter Parker
Height & Weight: 5'11 230 lbs
Finisher: Spider Suplex
Birthday: Not stated
Hometown: NYC, USA
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=4o29VoxtsFk

Everyone knows who Spider-Man is!

Career Highlights:

Bugger all.

The Stig

Height & Weight: 6'2 270 lbs
Finisher: Powerlap (T-Bone Suplex)
Birthday: Was born in a factory in 2002?
Hometown: British Parts Unknown
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw0gWgVp7bM&feature=related

Some say that he's banned from the town of Chichester, and that in a recent late-night deal, he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh. All we know is, he's called the Stig!

Career Highlights:

1 x SWC Champion
1 x Intercontinenal Champion

Trevor Rent



Height & Weight: 6' 195 lbs
Finisher: Russian leg sweep
Birthday: 11th November 1972
Hometown: London, England
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVOHHoml7VY

Trevor Rent is literally a theatrical agent who has hit rock bottom, he constantly drinks & smokes. He has been known to piss away money & is crap at his job.

Career Highlights:

Participated in SWC Nextgen

Yoshimitsu



Height & Weight: 5'10 155 lbs
Finisher: Kangaroo Kick
Birthday: Unknown
Hometown: Parts Unknown
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-k2m76TgHo

Yoshimitsu is a character in Tekken, he is a ninja!

Career Highlights:

Once hit Gabriel Logan with a dildo
...Nothing

[Elder Gohan]

EVEN MORE SUPERSTARS!

Barry Shitpeas



Height & Weight: Erm, about 5'9 190 lbs
Finisher: No idea.
Birthday: 149 in dog years
Hometown: a skip somewhere
Entrance theme: whatever I think it should be...

Barry Shitpeas is a character on Charlie Brooker's shows. He's now very bright.

Jeremy Kyle



Height & Weight: 5'9
Finisher: DDT
Birthday: 7th July 1965
Hometown: Reading, England
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwapHaq1SH4

Jeremy Kyle likes to shout at chavs. He reached his widest audience to date with this show, and his often aggressive manner with guests has been the source of both popularity and criticism. He is seemingly unafraid of reprisal from his guests, believing that speaking his mind is better than holding his peace. Guests sometimes take offence at Kyle's comments, with one guest attempting to throw a chair at him while another threw an envelope at the back of his head. He often justifies his criticism by claiming that he only wants to help them. Kyle recently claimed on air that his show was watched by 1.8 million viewers, a very high figure for a daytime chat show.


Johnny Triplearse


(not shown: Horse, sword, sacks of money & his three arses)

Height & Weight: 6'1 220 lbs
Finishing move: Triple Powerbomb
Birthday: 12th November 1612(?!? That defies logic!)
Hometown: "The 1600's
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SvEttR6HTY

Johnny Triplearse is a man of three outs. He was born in the 1600's & made a living as a highwayman & quickly became notorious as the best highwayman in the 1600's & now he's made his way into 2013. God only knows how...

Mikey Blumberg



Height & Weight: 6'4 400 lbs
Finisher: Samoan Drop
Birthday: No clue
Hometown: Recess land
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=zObiglKZKZc

Mikey is a fat kid with a warm heart & kind personality. He likes poetry and other shit, he also likes being a fat kid & screaming.

Todd Mortar

NO PICTURE AVAILABLE

Height & Weight: 5'3 200 lbs
Birthday: 1989
Finishing move: Fireman's Carry Slam
Hometown: New York City!
Entrance theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z46gR_j-OCM

Todd Mortar is a former fireman, he gave up his fire department job for a dream career in SWC. Todd possesses movie star like looks, but will George soon put him in his place?