Post by Elder Gohan on Apr 3, 2013 15:52:47 GMT -5
"Welcome to SWC: Reality, I am tonight's host Carly Rae Jepsen. Tonight we discuss such topics such as: Are the government ruining the UK? Are the schools failing? And who is this "Ed" with a 9 inch cock?"
*COOKING WITH GUN JACK*
Gun Jack: "FIRST... TAKE YOUR POTATOES... INCINERATE THEM! CHIPS ARE MADE! GO FISHING... CATCH FISH & BATTER IT... FISH & CHIPS *Gun Jack forces the fish & chips down someones throat* LIKE MY COOKING! HAHAHAHA!"
Carly: "Are the government ruining the UK? Here to discuss the idea, is Ed & Barry Shitpeas."
Barry: "Listen love, Ed proppa fancies you. But more to the issue, see these tories are all right ya know? Sure they're making all the poor people work for free & more intrested in makin profits, but they managed to get me a job innit?"
Me: "Listen Shitpeas, I'm your boss & I've had enough. Get your wrestling boots on, this sunday at Cracklash me & you are gonna have a match! Wind your neck in you pencil-dicked, wasteman! Yeah, the tories are screwing us up, unemployment is sky high & all that..."
Barry: "You're on, see you in the ring... "Mr. Ed..."
Carly: "Uhh... Lets move on. Jumper aficionado & scrabble fanatic, Gyles Brandreth!
*Gyles Brandreth Report*
Gyles: "Hello viewers I am here to report on Scrabble, the most interesting game in the world. I asked a few SWC superstars to come up with the best scoring word they could. Louis Spence came up with "Highjack." I also want the world to sit down even if it's for 15 minutes, to just play a round or two of scrabble!"
*Fashion~!!*
George: "Bonjour! This is the part of the show where I, the fabulous one, George! Analyze the latest in SWC fashion. Of course, everyone dresses so BADLY! It sickens me... Especially that curly haired, mustachioed, 1 tracksuit owning, liverpool loving BASTARD! Who cost me a shot at the world title... Dimmick, do you even care what you look like? Tracksuits are at least 20 years out of date, you're hairier than a coconut & twice as thick! When I beat that fashion reject, clown Ronald McDonald for the SWC World Heavyweight Title, don't even think about cashing in the Wank Bank briefcase..."
*How To... With Neil Dimmick*
Dimmick: "Hey dere lad, it's me yer resident happy scouse chappy Neil Dimmick! Today, we're gonna go camping, first ya gotta put up yer tent lad, sumwere in de lake district like coniston water. Put up yer Liverpool FC flag on the tent, use a Liverpool FC beach towel as de groundsheet, keeps all de creepy crawlies out yer arse. If ye want to go hiking, dont go in de winteh, most of de year you get nice views from de mountains. One more thing, dont forget to pack yeh pots & pans, a nice supply of food & of course a backpack & a satnav! But most of all, bring a mate who knows about camping teh help yeh!"
*Important Issues with James May*
James: "Britain is ruddy well great! But I want to make it better. You see, I think that this country can be great again. Joining me to discuss the issues are Mumford & Rey! welcome to the show."
Tonight's issue is... "Should Peterborough be the UK's first nudist town?"
Arguing in support of this statement, Mumford!
Mumford: "I LOVE BOOBIES! THEY MAKE ME HAPPY & PETERBOROUGH IS A GOOD PLACE TO GET PEOPLE NAKED, BUT WILL THE POLICE LIKE THE IDEA, I MEAN I WENT NAKED ONCE & THE POLICE TOLD ME OFF! IF I GET TO SEE BOOBIES IN PETERBOROUGH, MAYBE THE WHOLE COUNTRY COULD GET NAKED! PRESIDENT MUMFORD SIGNING OUT"
James: o-0
Arguing against the statement, Rey!
Rey: "yh i dnt kno were peterlandboro is but i think its crap & full of old ladies. is it next to london lol i bet evryone is like tea & crumpets but they shudnt get naked no one wants to see old ladies naked!"
James: "Of all the guests... I'll leave it for the viewers to decide..."
Carly: "OK That's the end of the show, we say thank you to everyone who took part! Next week, expect more from the SWC superstars & much much more!
*COOKING WITH GUN JACK*
Gun Jack: "FIRST... TAKE YOUR POTATOES... INCINERATE THEM! CHIPS ARE MADE! GO FISHING... CATCH FISH & BATTER IT... FISH & CHIPS *Gun Jack forces the fish & chips down someones throat* LIKE MY COOKING! HAHAHAHA!"
Carly: "Are the government ruining the UK? Here to discuss the idea, is Ed & Barry Shitpeas."
Barry: "Listen love, Ed proppa fancies you. But more to the issue, see these tories are all right ya know? Sure they're making all the poor people work for free & more intrested in makin profits, but they managed to get me a job innit?"
Me: "Listen Shitpeas, I'm your boss & I've had enough. Get your wrestling boots on, this sunday at Cracklash me & you are gonna have a match! Wind your neck in you pencil-dicked, wasteman! Yeah, the tories are screwing us up, unemployment is sky high & all that..."
Barry: "You're on, see you in the ring... "Mr. Ed..."
Carly: "Uhh... Lets move on. Jumper aficionado & scrabble fanatic, Gyles Brandreth!
*Gyles Brandreth Report*
Gyles: "Hello viewers I am here to report on Scrabble, the most interesting game in the world. I asked a few SWC superstars to come up with the best scoring word they could. Louis Spence came up with "Highjack." I also want the world to sit down even if it's for 15 minutes, to just play a round or two of scrabble!"
*Fashion~!!*
George: "Bonjour! This is the part of the show where I, the fabulous one, George! Analyze the latest in SWC fashion. Of course, everyone dresses so BADLY! It sickens me... Especially that curly haired, mustachioed, 1 tracksuit owning, liverpool loving BASTARD! Who cost me a shot at the world title... Dimmick, do you even care what you look like? Tracksuits are at least 20 years out of date, you're hairier than a coconut & twice as thick! When I beat that fashion reject, clown Ronald McDonald for the SWC World Heavyweight Title, don't even think about cashing in the Wank Bank briefcase..."
*How To... With Neil Dimmick*
Dimmick: "Hey dere lad, it's me yer resident happy scouse chappy Neil Dimmick! Today, we're gonna go camping, first ya gotta put up yer tent lad, sumwere in de lake district like coniston water. Put up yer Liverpool FC flag on the tent, use a Liverpool FC beach towel as de groundsheet, keeps all de creepy crawlies out yer arse. If ye want to go hiking, dont go in de winteh, most of de year you get nice views from de mountains. One more thing, dont forget to pack yeh pots & pans, a nice supply of food & of course a backpack & a satnav! But most of all, bring a mate who knows about camping teh help yeh!"
*Important Issues with James May*
James: "Britain is ruddy well great! But I want to make it better. You see, I think that this country can be great again. Joining me to discuss the issues are Mumford & Rey! welcome to the show."
Tonight's issue is... "Should Peterborough be the UK's first nudist town?"
Arguing in support of this statement, Mumford!
Mumford: "I LOVE BOOBIES! THEY MAKE ME HAPPY & PETERBOROUGH IS A GOOD PLACE TO GET PEOPLE NAKED, BUT WILL THE POLICE LIKE THE IDEA, I MEAN I WENT NAKED ONCE & THE POLICE TOLD ME OFF! IF I GET TO SEE BOOBIES IN PETERBOROUGH, MAYBE THE WHOLE COUNTRY COULD GET NAKED! PRESIDENT MUMFORD SIGNING OUT"
James: o-0
Arguing against the statement, Rey!
Rey: "yh i dnt kno were peterlandboro is but i think its crap & full of old ladies. is it next to london lol i bet evryone is like tea & crumpets but they shudnt get naked no one wants to see old ladies naked!"
James: "Of all the guests... I'll leave it for the viewers to decide..."
Carly: "OK That's the end of the show, we say thank you to everyone who took part! Next week, expect more from the SWC superstars & much much more!
