Post by Elder Gohan on May 1, 2013 16:34:46 GMT -5
"Welcome to SWC: Reality, I am tonight's host Gyles Brandreth, on tonight's show: Caravan Snooker! Rey speaks again! And Ed gets upset over Crystal Palace's recent form!
*Rey speaks*
Rey: "lol yh i rey dat pres guy hit me wiv a sock wiv pool balls in it lol hes a herb"
Lord Sugar: "What the bloody hell are you supposed to be? Are you a joke?"
Rey: "lol u r so funny lord sweet"
Lord Sugar: "It's Lord Sugar & I suggest you wipe that shit eating grin off your face, if you want to remain employed here..."
Rey: "k lord sweet lol"
Lord Sugar: "LISTEN RAYMOND, YOU'VE PUT ME IN A MOOD. COULD YOU CALL IN THAT LAZY WASTE OF SPACE BOB IN HERE PLEASE."
Bob: "Lord Sugar, you wanted to see me sir?"
Lord Sugar: "I'm not happy, you we're told by the last guy in charge to get your arse in gear & as far as SWC & I am concerned, you haven't done that. So tell me, why am I paying someone who can't tell shit from clay? Don't answer that, to sum it up: You're a bloody disgrace, it hasn't worked out. *GET READY FOR THE CATCHPHRASE~!* You're Fired!"
Rey: "lol u not donald trump lord sweet!"
*If this is the answer, what is the question?*
Me: "The answer is... "10 in a row" what is the question?
Jeremy Kyle: "Is it how many terrible CV's I've seen?"
Rey: "Is it, on SWC 13 how many times better is my player than the herb momfort?"
Dave: "How many breakfasts did Trevor Rent eat this morning?"
Barry Shitpeas: "Is it, how many times has Ed cracked one off over Carly Rae Jepsen?"
I'm warning you Shitpeas, don't make me force you into an embarrassing match...
Dave: "Is it, how many games on FIFA 13 has Andy from Little Britain beaten me"
Jeremy: "Is it, how many games have Crystal Palace not won?"
Yes Jeremy, that sadly is the answer...
*Caravan Snooker*
Gyles: "Ah yes, hello viewers & welcome to SWC Caravan Snooker! It will be a traditional 7 frame game, once a frame has been completed an explosive will detonate & destroy a dreadful caravan! Let us begin! 'The Pleb' will face Lou in a seven frame match!"
*At the table*
Gyles: "It is The Pleb to break... It's not safe play from the pleb, Lou steps up to the table & pots the red with confidence! Lou ponders the next shot, he's thinking should I go for the blue or attempt a 147? He has potted the black! Easy Red here... success, but Lou is going to have to abandon the plans for a 147 as he sinks the green & brings his score to 12! Slightly more difficult Red but Lou manages to pot it, Lou turns his focus to the black... It's in, never any doubt. Lou has missed this Red! Over to The Pleb who pots the red ^ registers a point but he's not thought ahead & he HAS to pot the yellow... got it & pots a tense red & pots a tricky pink! Oh the Pleb lives up to his name & misses the easiest Red ever, Lou shows him how it's done potting the red & turns his attention to the black it was so easy, Lou follows up with another red, then a green. This is a difficult red & somehow Lou does it! Followed by a pink, the reds are flying in! Tricky black goes in, Lou gave that full pelt! Cleverly potting the red Lou looks on course to take the frame!
Lou follows this up with a well struck blue, followed by a red & a pink. Lou just needs 5 points to seal the frame... Red potted... If he hits the brown he wins the frame... HE'S GOT IT! He's mathematically secured the frame, but he's carrying on sinking a red, then blue, then another red, then the black, and another red, black again before potting the final red! Now he must pot the colours in order, Yellow is down! The green is sunk, the brown follows... Three balls remain... The blue is in! Lou pots the pink! This game is over... Lou leads the match 1-0 with a 116 - 10 victory over the pleb & gets to destroy a caravan!"
*Caravan blows up!*
YES!
*Rey speaks*
Rey: "lol yh i rey dat pres guy hit me wiv a sock wiv pool balls in it lol hes a herb"
Lord Sugar: "What the bloody hell are you supposed to be? Are you a joke?"
Rey: "lol u r so funny lord sweet"
Lord Sugar: "It's Lord Sugar & I suggest you wipe that shit eating grin off your face, if you want to remain employed here..."
Rey: "k lord sweet lol"
Lord Sugar: "LISTEN RAYMOND, YOU'VE PUT ME IN A MOOD. COULD YOU CALL IN THAT LAZY WASTE OF SPACE BOB IN HERE PLEASE."
Bob: "Lord Sugar, you wanted to see me sir?"
Lord Sugar: "I'm not happy, you we're told by the last guy in charge to get your arse in gear & as far as SWC & I am concerned, you haven't done that. So tell me, why am I paying someone who can't tell shit from clay? Don't answer that, to sum it up: You're a bloody disgrace, it hasn't worked out. *GET READY FOR THE CATCHPHRASE~!* You're Fired!"
Rey: "lol u not donald trump lord sweet!"
*If this is the answer, what is the question?*
Me: "The answer is... "10 in a row" what is the question?
Jeremy Kyle: "Is it how many terrible CV's I've seen?"
Rey: "Is it, on SWC 13 how many times better is my player than the herb momfort?"
Dave: "How many breakfasts did Trevor Rent eat this morning?"
Barry Shitpeas: "Is it, how many times has Ed cracked one off over Carly Rae Jepsen?"
I'm warning you Shitpeas, don't make me force you into an embarrassing match...
Dave: "Is it, how many games on FIFA 13 has Andy from Little Britain beaten me"
Jeremy: "Is it, how many games have Crystal Palace not won?"
Yes Jeremy, that sadly is the answer...
*Caravan Snooker*
Gyles: "Ah yes, hello viewers & welcome to SWC Caravan Snooker! It will be a traditional 7 frame game, once a frame has been completed an explosive will detonate & destroy a dreadful caravan! Let us begin! 'The Pleb' will face Lou in a seven frame match!"
*At the table*
Gyles: "It is The Pleb to break... It's not safe play from the pleb, Lou steps up to the table & pots the red with confidence! Lou ponders the next shot, he's thinking should I go for the blue or attempt a 147? He has potted the black! Easy Red here... success, but Lou is going to have to abandon the plans for a 147 as he sinks the green & brings his score to 12! Slightly more difficult Red but Lou manages to pot it, Lou turns his focus to the black... It's in, never any doubt. Lou has missed this Red! Over to The Pleb who pots the red ^ registers a point but he's not thought ahead & he HAS to pot the yellow... got it & pots a tense red & pots a tricky pink! Oh the Pleb lives up to his name & misses the easiest Red ever, Lou shows him how it's done potting the red & turns his attention to the black it was so easy, Lou follows up with another red, then a green. This is a difficult red & somehow Lou does it! Followed by a pink, the reds are flying in! Tricky black goes in, Lou gave that full pelt! Cleverly potting the red Lou looks on course to take the frame!
Lou follows this up with a well struck blue, followed by a red & a pink. Lou just needs 5 points to seal the frame... Red potted... If he hits the brown he wins the frame... HE'S GOT IT! He's mathematically secured the frame, but he's carrying on sinking a red, then blue, then another red, then the black, and another red, black again before potting the final red! Now he must pot the colours in order, Yellow is down! The green is sunk, the brown follows... Three balls remain... The blue is in! Lou pots the pink! This game is over... Lou leads the match 1-0 with a 116 - 10 victory over the pleb & gets to destroy a caravan!"
*Caravan blows up!*
YES!
