Post by Elder Gohan on Jun 19, 2013 17:01:52 GMT -5
"Welcome to SWC: Reality, I am tonight's host Treguard, on tonight's show... Many temporal disruptions! The castle of confusion & The Banana Boys... Extreme life force damage!"
*The Banana Boys play Knightmare*
Treguard: "Welcome watchers of illusion to the castle of confusion! I Treguard, master of the dungeon give you audience, watch now you armchair adventurers, while others braver than yourselves, challenge the secrets of my lair!"
Treguard: "Enter Strangers!"
Treguard: "State your name, age & direction!"
Rey: I rey 22 da hood lol
Metalgod: i da GOD! i from utah lol
Dimmick: "I'm Neil Dimmick 19 from Liverpool"
Yoshimitsu: "Yoshimitsu-san 25 Nihon!!"
Treguard: "Which one of you braves the dungeon???"
Rey: I will lol
Treguard: "Please accept this knapsack & place food & food ONLY. Also accept the helmet of justice, to prevent you from seeing illusion."
Dimmick: "K lad, go to yer left, go forward lad til ye see de table. on it yer'll see the key, poison & a slice of cheese. Take de cheese..."
Treguard: "Warning team, manifestation is now occuring... Ah it's only a level 1 wall monster... I can't tell if it is Olgarth or Granitearse..."
Granitarse: "I AM GRANITARSE! I have riddles of different times & legends! Three riddles have I & truth is what I seek! 1 truth will pass you on, 2 may aid you, 3 commands ME! FAIL all three & I FEED ON YOU!"
Granitarse: "Here is my first: "It is greater than God and more evil than the devil. The poor have it, the rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?"
*much discussion*
Metalgod: say boobs rey lol
Rey: boobs
Granitarse: "FALSEHOOD!"
Granitarse: "Here is my second: "The person who makes it, sells it. The person who buys it never uses it and the person who uses it doesn't know they are. What is it?"
Dimmick: "Say apple"
Rey: apple lol
Granitarse: "FALSEHOOD!"
Granitarse: "Here is my final riddle: "Until I am measured, I am not known, Yet how you miss me, When I have flown..."
Yoshimitsu: "Say Tetris"
Rey: Tetris lol
Granitarse: "FALSEHOOD!"
Granitarse: "Right, go in to the next room... It'll be... Sharp! After I drain some life force..."
Treguard: "Extreme life force damage!"
Rey: where am i lol
Metalgod: ohh shit deres saws lol
Dimmick: LEFT! NOW RIGHT! DUCK! LEFT!...."
*Bell tolls*
Treguard: "Oooooooh nasty! Unlucky boys, you stumbled onto level 3, but you bottled it!"
*George's fashion show*
George: "Why should I share my style with ANY of you fat, out of shape, PIG UGLY mouth breathers? Ugh, who do we have this week? Great another sweaty fat guy, you disgust me..."
Fat Guy: "Jeez, what's yo problem guy?"
George: "Ugh, you barely speak english... If I have to help you dress anywhere near decent, at least show me the proper respect by losing weight, grow a damn brain & actually, just get out of my sight!"
Fat Guy: "OK, but dude. I'm taking dese here clothes like!"
George: "Touch my garments & I will snap your arm like a knitting needle..."
Fat Guy: "Hehe, watch me!"
*George beats the fat guy up & breaks his arm*
George: "You we're warned! Maybe if you didn't have the IQ of a broken shovel, or you didn't have the DNA structure of a fried egg. You wouldn't have disgusted me & you wouldn't have a broken arm..."
*The Legion: Propaganda*
Captain Carpentry: "Are you sick of High Rent Shit's seemingly endless stream of sex & drugs? Are you sick of the Banana Boys acting the big man? Support The Legion today, our neutral political ideals are perfect for today's society. When you support us, you will receive your welcome pack including: Exclusive Legion SWC Cards & Action Figures, a T-Shirt & free Parker pen!"
Lou & Andy: "We do not forgive, we do not forget..."
Ronald McDonald: "We see all, we know all..."
Captain Carpentry: "WE ARE LEGION!"
Barry Shitpeas: "You wear make up, you wear dresses!"
Trevor Rent: "You wear lipstick, and clean up messes!"
Johnny Triplearse: "THOU ART LEGION!"
Barry: "I well fink right, that we could so beat the legion!"
Captain: "Bring it, you pencil necked turd!"
*The tense situation is calmed down by Wendy of all people*
Darth Vader spends a good 20 minutes with the shits. Why do we employ this guy, yet we released Treguard & Pat Sharp?
SWC are still investigating the ongoing claims of sex in the locker rooms, SWC President Lord Sugar has released a statement.
Lord Sugar: "It has come to my attention that some of my employees are engaging in sexual intercourse in the locker rooms & the office building. SWC would like to remind that all sexual contact is forbidden on the premises, we have a few names of those believed to be involved. One superstar has been released, the other employment pending depending on tonight's ratings & the public case of Edward, he has been fined a month's wage & promised not to do it again."
Interviewer: "Who are the names of those involved?"
Lord Sugar: "I'm afraid at this time, due to security concerns, I cannot release any names."
Interviewer: "What will you do about the increasingly tense situation regarding the 3 factions?"
Lord Sugar: "Well at the moment, nothing as it's bringing in ratings & therefore profit. Although, High Rent Shit could be pushing it a bit too far, mainly because the complaints department has gone on strike do to being overworked! The Legion I could get behind, an interesting concept... The Banana Boys are mostly harmless if I'm honest..."
Interviewer: "Who are you putting in charge of the investigations?"
Lord Sugar: "The head of vocal development Jeremy Kyle & the Differentiation of Elbows & Arses Department's Head of Arses."
*The Banana Boys play Knightmare*
Treguard: "Welcome watchers of illusion to the castle of confusion! I Treguard, master of the dungeon give you audience, watch now you armchair adventurers, while others braver than yourselves, challenge the secrets of my lair!"
Treguard: "Enter Strangers!"
Treguard: "State your name, age & direction!"
Rey: I rey 22 da hood lol
Metalgod: i da GOD! i from utah lol
Dimmick: "I'm Neil Dimmick 19 from Liverpool"
Yoshimitsu: "Yoshimitsu-san 25 Nihon!!"
Treguard: "Which one of you braves the dungeon???"
Rey: I will lol
Treguard: "Please accept this knapsack & place food & food ONLY. Also accept the helmet of justice, to prevent you from seeing illusion."
Dimmick: "K lad, go to yer left, go forward lad til ye see de table. on it yer'll see the key, poison & a slice of cheese. Take de cheese..."
Treguard: "Warning team, manifestation is now occuring... Ah it's only a level 1 wall monster... I can't tell if it is Olgarth or Granitearse..."
Granitarse: "I AM GRANITARSE! I have riddles of different times & legends! Three riddles have I & truth is what I seek! 1 truth will pass you on, 2 may aid you, 3 commands ME! FAIL all three & I FEED ON YOU!"
Granitarse: "Here is my first: "It is greater than God and more evil than the devil. The poor have it, the rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?"
*much discussion*
Metalgod: say boobs rey lol
Rey: boobs
Granitarse: "FALSEHOOD!"
Granitarse: "Here is my second: "The person who makes it, sells it. The person who buys it never uses it and the person who uses it doesn't know they are. What is it?"
Dimmick: "Say apple"
Rey: apple lol
Granitarse: "FALSEHOOD!"
Granitarse: "Here is my final riddle: "Until I am measured, I am not known, Yet how you miss me, When I have flown..."
Yoshimitsu: "Say Tetris"
Rey: Tetris lol
Granitarse: "FALSEHOOD!"
Granitarse: "Right, go in to the next room... It'll be... Sharp! After I drain some life force..."
Treguard: "Extreme life force damage!"
Rey: where am i lol
Metalgod: ohh shit deres saws lol
Dimmick: LEFT! NOW RIGHT! DUCK! LEFT!...."
*Bell tolls*
Treguard: "Oooooooh nasty! Unlucky boys, you stumbled onto level 3, but you bottled it!"
*George's fashion show*
George: "Why should I share my style with ANY of you fat, out of shape, PIG UGLY mouth breathers? Ugh, who do we have this week? Great another sweaty fat guy, you disgust me..."
Fat Guy: "Jeez, what's yo problem guy?"
George: "Ugh, you barely speak english... If I have to help you dress anywhere near decent, at least show me the proper respect by losing weight, grow a damn brain & actually, just get out of my sight!"
Fat Guy: "OK, but dude. I'm taking dese here clothes like!"
George: "Touch my garments & I will snap your arm like a knitting needle..."
Fat Guy: "Hehe, watch me!"
*George beats the fat guy up & breaks his arm*
George: "You we're warned! Maybe if you didn't have the IQ of a broken shovel, or you didn't have the DNA structure of a fried egg. You wouldn't have disgusted me & you wouldn't have a broken arm..."
*The Legion: Propaganda*
Captain Carpentry: "Are you sick of High Rent Shit's seemingly endless stream of sex & drugs? Are you sick of the Banana Boys acting the big man? Support The Legion today, our neutral political ideals are perfect for today's society. When you support us, you will receive your welcome pack including: Exclusive Legion SWC Cards & Action Figures, a T-Shirt & free Parker pen!"
Lou & Andy: "We do not forgive, we do not forget..."
Ronald McDonald: "We see all, we know all..."
Captain Carpentry: "WE ARE LEGION!"
Barry Shitpeas: "You wear make up, you wear dresses!"
Trevor Rent: "You wear lipstick, and clean up messes!"
Johnny Triplearse: "THOU ART LEGION!"
Barry: "I well fink right, that we could so beat the legion!"
Captain: "Bring it, you pencil necked turd!"
*The tense situation is calmed down by Wendy of all people*
Darth Vader spends a good 20 minutes with the shits. Why do we employ this guy, yet we released Treguard & Pat Sharp?
SWC are still investigating the ongoing claims of sex in the locker rooms, SWC President Lord Sugar has released a statement.
Lord Sugar: "It has come to my attention that some of my employees are engaging in sexual intercourse in the locker rooms & the office building. SWC would like to remind that all sexual contact is forbidden on the premises, we have a few names of those believed to be involved. One superstar has been released, the other employment pending depending on tonight's ratings & the public case of Edward, he has been fined a month's wage & promised not to do it again."
Interviewer: "Who are the names of those involved?"
Lord Sugar: "I'm afraid at this time, due to security concerns, I cannot release any names."
Interviewer: "What will you do about the increasingly tense situation regarding the 3 factions?"
Lord Sugar: "Well at the moment, nothing as it's bringing in ratings & therefore profit. Although, High Rent Shit could be pushing it a bit too far, mainly because the complaints department has gone on strike do to being overworked! The Legion I could get behind, an interesting concept... The Banana Boys are mostly harmless if I'm honest..."
Interviewer: "Who are you putting in charge of the investigations?"
Lord Sugar: "The head of vocal development Jeremy Kyle & the Differentiation of Elbows & Arses Department's Head of Arses."
