Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 31, 2013 14:12:18 GMT -5
"Welcome to SWC: Reality, I am tonight's host Bruce Forsyth, on tonight's show: Dancing on Ice, Queen Beh meets SWC's newest office bloke & Rey & Jimmy Savile 'meet' a Latvian Cowboy"
*Beh meets Abonseiro*
Abonseiro: "Hi i'm abonseiro..."
QB: "Who the hell cares?"
Abonseiro: "I care."
Jeremy Kyle: "Abonseiro, there's no point using logic, wit or common sense to beat her. Come on, let's show you to your desk."
Abonseiro: "Wow. So much room."
Jeremy Kyle: "Abonseiro, meet Ed. He will show you around."
Me: "I am Ed, call me Mr Ed. I shall show you the 1st floor... This is Carol Beer, the receptionist..."
Carol: "Get lost."
Me: "Ahh, she's in a good mood today... Here we have the function room for visitors to throw parties & what not, usually fat women. Easy shags. Onto the 2nd floor, where the art trolls sit around, eat pizza & chinese food & watch porn all day, on the offchance they do some work, it can be pretty good. We're halfway there, we have 6 floors. 3rd floor is your floor, the boring pencil pusher floor. all that's here is computers & bugger all. 4th floor is lunch hall, a whole floor dedicated to lunch! Every food you could think of, here on one floor! 5th floor is Creative, Talent & GM's Office for both brands. 6th floor is a snooker hall! The penthouse suite is Lord Sugar's personal office, never disturb Lord Sugar if you know what's good for you!"
Abonseiro: "Thank you."
*Dancing on Ice*
Mumford: "WE'RE GONNA DANCE!"
Mumford & Stacey Lacey do Dirty Dancing.
Me: "And now the judges!"
"PROFESSOR BRIAN COX!"
Prof: "Extraordinary, a deserving performance!"
"THEO PAPHITIS!"
Theo: "I liked it, so much emotion!"
"SIMON COWELL!"
Simon: "Bloody hell, that was grand!"
The Legion & High Rent Shit do Walk This Way by Run DMC
Me: "And now the judges!"
"PROFESSOR BRIAN COX!"
Prof: "Ahh, I do love it!"
"THEO PAPHITIS!"
Theo: "A cracker of a performance, this is definitely a winner"
"SIMON COWELL!"
Simon: "Weren't convinced, but people liked it so ehh..."
Me: "FINALLY, It's time for... Ugh, Rey & metalfuck..."
Rey & metalfuck just hump gym balls.
Ugh...
Me: "And now the judges."
"PROFESSOR BRIAN COX!"
Prof: "Of all the things that can be explained, that cannot be. 2/10"
"THEO PAPHITIS!"
Theo: "Rey. metalgod. It's shit. Totally & utter shit."
"SIMON COWELL!"
Simon: "OMG I LOVED IT!!!11!!!111!1!11111!!!!!111!1!"
*SWC merchandise"
SWC: "Kids, are you tired of the same old toys? Even tired of the SWC Action Figures? Then you'll love the new My Little Mumfie! A stylised Mumford dolly in the shape of a pony! Do you want the latest Darth Vader shirt? Oh come on, even Darth Vader doesn't want the latest Darth Vader shirt! Instead, for the same price you can get a shirt of any Banana Boy, High Rent Shit & The Legion in a 3 shirt deal! Infact, so far we've released so many action figures of superstars. Why not get SWC: Superstars series 9. Featuring: Todd Mortar, Slenderman, Mumford, Captain Carpentry, Ronald McDonald & Rey. Or collect all the cards, trade them with anyone, your mum, dad, budgie, even old people!"
*Hours of softcore porn & disaster footage*
*Beh meets Abonseiro*
Abonseiro: "Hi i'm abonseiro..."
QB: "Who the hell cares?"
Abonseiro: "I care."
Jeremy Kyle: "Abonseiro, there's no point using logic, wit or common sense to beat her. Come on, let's show you to your desk."
Abonseiro: "Wow. So much room."
Jeremy Kyle: "Abonseiro, meet Ed. He will show you around."
Me: "I am Ed, call me Mr Ed. I shall show you the 1st floor... This is Carol Beer, the receptionist..."
Carol: "Get lost."
Me: "Ahh, she's in a good mood today... Here we have the function room for visitors to throw parties & what not, usually fat women. Easy shags. Onto the 2nd floor, where the art trolls sit around, eat pizza & chinese food & watch porn all day, on the offchance they do some work, it can be pretty good. We're halfway there, we have 6 floors. 3rd floor is your floor, the boring pencil pusher floor. all that's here is computers & bugger all. 4th floor is lunch hall, a whole floor dedicated to lunch! Every food you could think of, here on one floor! 5th floor is Creative, Talent & GM's Office for both brands. 6th floor is a snooker hall! The penthouse suite is Lord Sugar's personal office, never disturb Lord Sugar if you know what's good for you!"
Abonseiro: "Thank you."
*Dancing on Ice*
Mumford: "WE'RE GONNA DANCE!"
Mumford & Stacey Lacey do Dirty Dancing.
Me: "And now the judges!"
"PROFESSOR BRIAN COX!"
Prof: "Extraordinary, a deserving performance!"
"THEO PAPHITIS!"
Theo: "I liked it, so much emotion!"
"SIMON COWELL!"
Simon: "Bloody hell, that was grand!"
The Legion & High Rent Shit do Walk This Way by Run DMC
Me: "And now the judges!"
"PROFESSOR BRIAN COX!"
Prof: "Ahh, I do love it!"
"THEO PAPHITIS!"
Theo: "A cracker of a performance, this is definitely a winner"
"SIMON COWELL!"
Simon: "Weren't convinced, but people liked it so ehh..."
Me: "FINALLY, It's time for... Ugh, Rey & metalfuck..."
Rey & metalfuck just hump gym balls.
Ugh...
Me: "And now the judges."
"PROFESSOR BRIAN COX!"
Prof: "Of all the things that can be explained, that cannot be. 2/10"
"THEO PAPHITIS!"
Theo: "Rey. metalgod. It's shit. Totally & utter shit."
"SIMON COWELL!"
Simon: "OMG I LOVED IT!!!11!!!111!1!11111!!!!!111!1!"
*SWC merchandise"
SWC: "Kids, are you tired of the same old toys? Even tired of the SWC Action Figures? Then you'll love the new My Little Mumfie! A stylised Mumford dolly in the shape of a pony! Do you want the latest Darth Vader shirt? Oh come on, even Darth Vader doesn't want the latest Darth Vader shirt! Instead, for the same price you can get a shirt of any Banana Boy, High Rent Shit & The Legion in a 3 shirt deal! Infact, so far we've released so many action figures of superstars. Why not get SWC: Superstars series 9. Featuring: Todd Mortar, Slenderman, Mumford, Captain Carpentry, Ronald McDonald & Rey. Or collect all the cards, trade them with anyone, your mum, dad, budgie, even old people!"
*Hours of softcore porn & disaster footage*
