Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 7, 2013 16:01:40 GMT -5
"Welcome to SWC: Reality, I am tonight's host Ross Noble, on tonight's show: Rey gets a date! The Stig stares down a vending machine & Queen Beh gets a response from everyone at Crystal Palace!"
*Lord Sugar addresses the media*
Lord Sugar: "Right. I'll take questions, you with the hat."
Hat man: "Hi, Tim Messenger of the Cheese Aficionado. What will you do with the recent sex scandals in SWC?"
Lord Sugar: "I've addressed this a million times... We've fired one individual & suspended others... Next question."
Fat Guy: "Hi, Billy McWhirter of Smash Hits! How financially secure is SWC at the moment?"
Lord Sugar: "Under my leadership, we currently are financially secure for the next decade."
?: "Hi, Edward Wood, SWC Head of Creative & Asian Babes. How long will the Faction War storyline continue?"
Lord Sugar: "Survival of the Fittest, possibly up to the Royal Bumble. Definitely not up to Fluck... Aren't you Head of Creative? Surely you should decide that! Last question"
Tall Guy: "Hi Mark Smith of The Telegraph. Who's your favourite member of One Direction?"
*The Stig stares down a vending machine*
*SWC: Did you buy this?*
Gyles Brandreth: "Hello viewers! It is me once again! I, Gyles Brandreth wade through the mires of terrible merchandise every week! Tonight's example is as follows: Did any of you watching buy... Yoshimitsu style inflatable swords! These infuriating things were made in 2011 & never sold more than 100! Mostly to bored children, but during this time much better merchandise was made available. If you have bought such a thing, please get in contact!"
*Queen Beh gets an invitation to Selhurst Park*
Queen Beh: "What is this crap, who are these sluts?"
*CPFC training*
QB: "Who cares?!?"
Ian Holloway: "Who's the tourist? Scuse me lover, are ya lost?"
QB: "Fuck off baldy! Take your sluts with you! I hope yo*CENSORED*"
Ian Holloway: "That's not a nice thing to say! I think we should teach her a lesson! Mile, Jules, Yannick. Get her outta here!"
*The Crystals beat QB up on the way out*
*Rey's date*
Stephen Fry: "We go to The Stadium of Light, god knows why. But Rey's date has requested this venue, so Rey how are you feeling?"
Rey: i feel gd da grrl betta have da big boobies & da big ass lol
Stephen Fry: "I understand, I think it's time you met your lady! Hit the music!"
OH SHIT IT'S JIMMY SAVILE! HE'S GONNA BUM YOU REY!
Jimmy: "Now then, now then... A Jake Jolson sends his regards! He sent a letter to me... Dear Jim, could you fix it for me for you to go on a date with Sir Jimmy Savile! Goodness gracious guys & gals, jingle jangle jewelry!"
*Rey almost gets bummed by Savile, but manages to escape with the help of Ed!*
*Lord Sugar addresses the media*
Lord Sugar: "Right. I'll take questions, you with the hat."
Hat man: "Hi, Tim Messenger of the Cheese Aficionado. What will you do with the recent sex scandals in SWC?"
Lord Sugar: "I've addressed this a million times... We've fired one individual & suspended others... Next question."
Fat Guy: "Hi, Billy McWhirter of Smash Hits! How financially secure is SWC at the moment?"
Lord Sugar: "Under my leadership, we currently are financially secure for the next decade."
?: "Hi, Edward Wood, SWC Head of Creative & Asian Babes. How long will the Faction War storyline continue?"
Lord Sugar: "Survival of the Fittest, possibly up to the Royal Bumble. Definitely not up to Fluck... Aren't you Head of Creative? Surely you should decide that! Last question"
Tall Guy: "Hi Mark Smith of The Telegraph. Who's your favourite member of One Direction?"
*The Stig stares down a vending machine*
*SWC: Did you buy this?*
Gyles Brandreth: "Hello viewers! It is me once again! I, Gyles Brandreth wade through the mires of terrible merchandise every week! Tonight's example is as follows: Did any of you watching buy... Yoshimitsu style inflatable swords! These infuriating things were made in 2011 & never sold more than 100! Mostly to bored children, but during this time much better merchandise was made available. If you have bought such a thing, please get in contact!"
*Queen Beh gets an invitation to Selhurst Park*
Queen Beh: "What is this crap, who are these sluts?"
*CPFC training*
QB: "Who cares?!?"
Ian Holloway: "Who's the tourist? Scuse me lover, are ya lost?"
QB: "Fuck off baldy! Take your sluts with you! I hope yo*CENSORED*"
Ian Holloway: "That's not a nice thing to say! I think we should teach her a lesson! Mile, Jules, Yannick. Get her outta here!"
*The Crystals beat QB up on the way out*
*Rey's date*
Stephen Fry: "We go to The Stadium of Light, god knows why. But Rey's date has requested this venue, so Rey how are you feeling?"
Rey: i feel gd da grrl betta have da big boobies & da big ass lol
Stephen Fry: "I understand, I think it's time you met your lady! Hit the music!"
OH SHIT IT'S JIMMY SAVILE! HE'S GONNA BUM YOU REY!
Jimmy: "Now then, now then... A Jake Jolson sends his regards! He sent a letter to me... Dear Jim, could you fix it for me for you to go on a date with Sir Jimmy Savile! Goodness gracious guys & gals, jingle jangle jewelry!"
*Rey almost gets bummed by Savile, but manages to escape with the help of Ed!*
