Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 11, 2013 10:15:37 GMT -5
"Welcome to SWC HeatWave! Reporting live infront of a jam packed Basildon. Again. This time out side the shopping centre!"
*Match 1: Commonwealth Championship: Neil Dimmick (c) vs Osama bin Laden*
Dimmick hasn't shown up.
Osama: "Hah. Jolson lock you up! You no show up for match, new champion! I am commonwealth champion haha!"
Lord Sugar: "Hold on. You ain't getting away that easy... For we have pulled off 2 major 1 night only signings, 1 will be a interim champion: Not officially counted but, hit his music!
Ugh, Thomas the fuckin' tank engine? This the best you could do Lord Sugar?
Thomas is a wanker
Lord Sugar: "And next, the third competitor in this match..."
BOOKER T! FUCK YEAH IT'S BOOKER T~! CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKAAAAAAA~!!!!!
There's the bell & Booker T goes straight for Thomas & kicks him in his smug train face, Booker T fired up now going after Osama bin Laden knocking him over the ropes Booker T just unloading on Thomas The Tank Engine, what a Book End! Do it! Do it! THE SPINAROONIE! Thomas is up, scissors kick! Osama yanks Booker's dreads & outside he goes, Osama with the cover. 1.2.3! Osama bin Laden is the new Commonwealth Champion!
Osama: "See, I told you! I am Champion!"
*Match 2: Johnny Triplearse vs Todd Mortar*
Now this could make or break the faction war story line, a rivalry that won't be settled tonight but will pave the way for future battles. These two waste no time in battering eachother, Johnny Triplearse ramming Todd Mortar into the ring post, somehow Todd Mortar was freed from being kidnapped or he wasn't on Jolson's mind. Strange that. Todd Mortar using the crowd to his advantage hoping that they'll inspire him. But Johnny Triplearse is just too... Todd Mortar just got a second wind & now he's using that momentum & Johnny Triplearse is stunned! Fireman's carry slam! 1.2... Triplearse kicks out! Todd Mortar runs into a dropkick & both men are down.
Todd Mortar receiving the nights loudest cheers so far, crowd now red hot! A second firemans carry slam off the top rope! 1.2.3! Todd Mortar wins tonight's battle but the war is certainly not over...
James May retains the Intercontinental Title against James Bond. James May has now held the title for 476 days as of typing!
*Main event: SWC World Heavyweight Championship No DQ: Jake Jolson (C) vs Rey (Good luck)
Honestly, if I were Rey, the LAST place on earth I want to be is in a no disqualification match with Jake Jolson, without back-up. But none the less here we go, Jake Jolson is staring down Rey, Rey looks like he's gonna shit himself Jake Jolson rebounds of the ropes... Stops but Rey runs out of the ring, Jolson has a lead pipe & smack! Rey's gonna feel that in the morning! Jolson has that look in his eyes... Another smack to the head, remember there's no count outs Jolson has unhooked a speaker & dumped it over Rey's head & smacked him with his lead pipe & again. Rey is now strapped to a table & smooshed against the ring post, Jolson is relentless he now has a SINK, an actual SINK & smashed it over Rey's head! Come on Jolson, it's time to just end it... Jolson puts his little finger on Rey... 1.2.3! Was there ever any doubt? THE most one sided match in SWC history! At least Todd Mortar landed a punch on Slenderman, Kr**ty the Clown managed at least a kick in SWC vs Kr**ty. Jake Jolson 100% dominated this match
*Match 1: Commonwealth Championship: Neil Dimmick (c) vs Osama bin Laden*
Dimmick hasn't shown up.
Osama: "Hah. Jolson lock you up! You no show up for match, new champion! I am commonwealth champion haha!"
Lord Sugar: "Hold on. You ain't getting away that easy... For we have pulled off 2 major 1 night only signings, 1 will be a interim champion: Not officially counted but, hit his music!
Ugh, Thomas the fuckin' tank engine? This the best you could do Lord Sugar?
Thomas is a wanker
Lord Sugar: "And next, the third competitor in this match..."
BOOKER T! FUCK YEAH IT'S BOOKER T~! CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKAAAAAAA~!!!!!
There's the bell & Booker T goes straight for Thomas & kicks him in his smug train face, Booker T fired up now going after Osama bin Laden knocking him over the ropes Booker T just unloading on Thomas The Tank Engine, what a Book End! Do it! Do it! THE SPINAROONIE! Thomas is up, scissors kick! Osama yanks Booker's dreads & outside he goes, Osama with the cover. 1.2.3! Osama bin Laden is the new Commonwealth Champion!
Osama: "See, I told you! I am Champion!"
*Match 2: Johnny Triplearse vs Todd Mortar*
Now this could make or break the faction war story line, a rivalry that won't be settled tonight but will pave the way for future battles. These two waste no time in battering eachother, Johnny Triplearse ramming Todd Mortar into the ring post, somehow Todd Mortar was freed from being kidnapped or he wasn't on Jolson's mind. Strange that. Todd Mortar using the crowd to his advantage hoping that they'll inspire him. But Johnny Triplearse is just too... Todd Mortar just got a second wind & now he's using that momentum & Johnny Triplearse is stunned! Fireman's carry slam! 1.2... Triplearse kicks out! Todd Mortar runs into a dropkick & both men are down.
Todd Mortar receiving the nights loudest cheers so far, crowd now red hot! A second firemans carry slam off the top rope! 1.2.3! Todd Mortar wins tonight's battle but the war is certainly not over...
James May retains the Intercontinental Title against James Bond. James May has now held the title for 476 days as of typing!
*Main event: SWC World Heavyweight Championship No DQ: Jake Jolson (C) vs Rey (Good luck)
Honestly, if I were Rey, the LAST place on earth I want to be is in a no disqualification match with Jake Jolson, without back-up. But none the less here we go, Jake Jolson is staring down Rey, Rey looks like he's gonna shit himself Jake Jolson rebounds of the ropes... Stops but Rey runs out of the ring, Jolson has a lead pipe & smack! Rey's gonna feel that in the morning! Jolson has that look in his eyes... Another smack to the head, remember there's no count outs Jolson has unhooked a speaker & dumped it over Rey's head & smacked him with his lead pipe & again. Rey is now strapped to a table & smooshed against the ring post, Jolson is relentless he now has a SINK, an actual SINK & smashed it over Rey's head! Come on Jolson, it's time to just end it... Jolson puts his little finger on Rey... 1.2.3! Was there ever any doubt? THE most one sided match in SWC history! At least Todd Mortar landed a punch on Slenderman, Kr**ty the Clown managed at least a kick in SWC vs Kr**ty. Jake Jolson 100% dominated this match
