Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 28, 2013 8:13:06 GMT -5
"Welcome to SWC: Reality, I am tonight's host Jeff Stelling, on tonight's show: The first elimination from SWC NextGen! Is rollerblading making you dumb? And Neil Dimmick grooms his moustache!"
*SWC NextGen*
Oi you lot. Listen up, you'll be pairing with superstars on the roster. Don't expect to be in a faction, nor expect anyone good, now that you're here you'll be playing a game... We're playing simon says! You fail a command & your pro slaps you in the face! Got it. Now welcome the pros: Louis Spence! Shrek! Spider-Man! Barry Chuckle! Gabriel Logan! James Bond! Mario! and... Darth Vader. Pick your Rookies! On the double, MOVE!
Louis Spence picks Charmander!
Shrek picks Dr Demented!
Barry Chuckle picks John Clemmon!
Spider-Man picks Wrestle-Tron 3000
Gabriel Logan picks Hank Nutz!
James Bond picks Ronnie O'Sullivan!
Mario picks Johnny the chain smoking monkey!
Darth Vader picks Phenis!
Simon Says... Do five starjumps! Good, you do know how to listen...
Simon Says... Punch your self in the face! Oh Dr Demented gets a slap... Ooh that hurt!
Simon Says... Trash Lord Sugar's office! Haha you all did that one. Nice.
Flick your pro in the face! Phenis, I didn't say Simon Says! Vader, slap him! Sick slap.
Alright, last time. Simon Says... Stick ice cubes down your pants! Ooh we're gonna have some frozen bollocks in the morning, not doing it Phenis? Slap him. Ouch.
Right, after our little games. The pros are gonna weigh in.
Shrek: "Aye Phenis, ye didnae dae anything! Ye cannae listen, ye cannae be an SWC superstar! You're going hame kid!"
Gabriel Logan: "My sentiments exactly, Phenis you're going home."
James Bond: "Phenis, you're going home my friend. Goodbye."
Barry Chuckle: "Oh dear oh dear! What was that?!? That was an absolute disgrace, Phenis, you're going home lad."
Mario: "Phenis, that was a shit! Go home lad!"
That's all we have time for, Phenis is eliminated! 7-1 Darth Vader voted for Johnny the Chain Smoking Monkey! For next week, Ronnie O'Sullivan has immunity."
*SWC did you buy this?*
Gyles Brandreth: "Hello viewers! It is I, Gyles Brandreth welcoming you to SWC yet again. We delve into the mysterious SWC merchandise, today we discover that 2 people have purchased the bedspreads of Rey! And no, he was not one of them! Today's useless tat, is indeed A giant ornamental apple with a curly haired wig attached! Assuming this has to be Neil Dimmick's garden range. Please contact us at the usual address if you bought a giant Neil Dimmick apple!"
*Rey's mic time!*
James Bond: "Hey Rey, what are you doing?"
Rey: i kickin dis vendin mchine coz i wnt a sprite & it not give it lol
James Bond: "Here, you need money to put in it."
Rey: lol thanks british tuxedo guy lol wait look behind u lol
James Bond: "Osama! Ahhh."
Rey: its da baddie ahhh no i get outta here but i challenge for da common champship lol
Osama: "I change my mind, I do not want to face you Bond, I want that bumbling tit Reymond in September! He is definitely too easy, so I will defend against him!"
*Todd Mortar signs autographs*
Todd Mortar: "Thank you for coming, I appreciate you doing that!"
Trevor Rent: "Oi! Bumboy! Stop signing your autographs for your 3 fans & go to the locker room. There's a peace offering from all us High Rent Shitter's..."
Todd Mortar: "Really? Last time you gave me a peace offering you boys cut the brakes on my car! But OK"
In the locker room.
Todd Mortar: "Hey, there's nothing in here!"
Johnny Triplearse: "SURPRISETH!"
Right with the lead pipe!
Trevor Rent: "How bleedin' dumb are you? Now listen here banana boys, y'all need to realise that you ain't shit! Now go bother the bumboys at The Legion."
*Mumford & Stacey Lacey plan their wedding*
Stacey: "Christmas time good?"
Mumford: "CHRISTMAS TIME IS GOOD FOR ME, I GET LOTS OF PRESENTS & I GET TO EAT THE TURKEY & PULL CRACKERS & WEAR MY PAPER CROWN!"
Stacey: "We'll spend Christmas together & the wedding on the 27th, ok?"
Mumford: "YES, I SHOULD BE WORLD CHAMPION BY THEN & WE CAN GO SEE PLYMOUTH ARGYLE, CAN I WEAR MY SUPERMAN COSTUME?"
Stacey: "No babe you'll have to wear a suit."
Mumford: "OH A SUIT, I'LL LOOK LIKE THE PRIME MINISTER! I'LL WEAR MY LUCKY SOCKIES! CAN DENNIS COME TO THE WEDDING? AND CAN HE WEAR A SUIT?"
Stacey: "Course he can!"
Mumford: "THIS IS GONNA BE THE BESTEST EVER! OH EVEN BETTER MY WILLY IS TURNING INTO STONE!"
*Lord Sugar's office*
Lord Sugar: "Who the bloody hell did this?!? Right, if I find out who did this, I'll make it my mission in life to make their life a living hell! You there, get out of my office!"
Man: "But I... I... I..."
Lord Sugar: "I I I I, everything's about bloody you! YOU'RE FIRED!"
Man: *Bursts into tears*
*SWC NextGen*
Oi you lot. Listen up, you'll be pairing with superstars on the roster. Don't expect to be in a faction, nor expect anyone good, now that you're here you'll be playing a game... We're playing simon says! You fail a command & your pro slaps you in the face! Got it. Now welcome the pros: Louis Spence! Shrek! Spider-Man! Barry Chuckle! Gabriel Logan! James Bond! Mario! and... Darth Vader. Pick your Rookies! On the double, MOVE!
Louis Spence picks Charmander!
Shrek picks Dr Demented!
Barry Chuckle picks John Clemmon!
Spider-Man picks Wrestle-Tron 3000
Gabriel Logan picks Hank Nutz!
James Bond picks Ronnie O'Sullivan!
Mario picks Johnny the chain smoking monkey!
Darth Vader picks Phenis!
Simon Says... Do five starjumps! Good, you do know how to listen...
Simon Says... Punch your self in the face! Oh Dr Demented gets a slap... Ooh that hurt!
Simon Says... Trash Lord Sugar's office! Haha you all did that one. Nice.
Flick your pro in the face! Phenis, I didn't say Simon Says! Vader, slap him! Sick slap.
Alright, last time. Simon Says... Stick ice cubes down your pants! Ooh we're gonna have some frozen bollocks in the morning, not doing it Phenis? Slap him. Ouch.
Right, after our little games. The pros are gonna weigh in.
Shrek: "Aye Phenis, ye didnae dae anything! Ye cannae listen, ye cannae be an SWC superstar! You're going hame kid!"
Gabriel Logan: "My sentiments exactly, Phenis you're going home."
James Bond: "Phenis, you're going home my friend. Goodbye."
Barry Chuckle: "Oh dear oh dear! What was that?!? That was an absolute disgrace, Phenis, you're going home lad."
Mario: "Phenis, that was a shit! Go home lad!"
That's all we have time for, Phenis is eliminated! 7-1 Darth Vader voted for Johnny the Chain Smoking Monkey! For next week, Ronnie O'Sullivan has immunity."
*SWC did you buy this?*
Gyles Brandreth: "Hello viewers! It is I, Gyles Brandreth welcoming you to SWC yet again. We delve into the mysterious SWC merchandise, today we discover that 2 people have purchased the bedspreads of Rey! And no, he was not one of them! Today's useless tat, is indeed A giant ornamental apple with a curly haired wig attached! Assuming this has to be Neil Dimmick's garden range. Please contact us at the usual address if you bought a giant Neil Dimmick apple!"
*Rey's mic time!*
James Bond: "Hey Rey, what are you doing?"
Rey: i kickin dis vendin mchine coz i wnt a sprite & it not give it lol
James Bond: "Here, you need money to put in it."
Rey: lol thanks british tuxedo guy lol wait look behind u lol
James Bond: "Osama! Ahhh."
Rey: its da baddie ahhh no i get outta here but i challenge for da common champship lol
Osama: "I change my mind, I do not want to face you Bond, I want that bumbling tit Reymond in September! He is definitely too easy, so I will defend against him!"
*Todd Mortar signs autographs*
Todd Mortar: "Thank you for coming, I appreciate you doing that!"
Trevor Rent: "Oi! Bumboy! Stop signing your autographs for your 3 fans & go to the locker room. There's a peace offering from all us High Rent Shitter's..."
Todd Mortar: "Really? Last time you gave me a peace offering you boys cut the brakes on my car! But OK"
In the locker room.
Todd Mortar: "Hey, there's nothing in here!"
Johnny Triplearse: "SURPRISETH!"
Right with the lead pipe!
Trevor Rent: "How bleedin' dumb are you? Now listen here banana boys, y'all need to realise that you ain't shit! Now go bother the bumboys at The Legion."
*Mumford & Stacey Lacey plan their wedding*
Stacey: "Christmas time good?"
Mumford: "CHRISTMAS TIME IS GOOD FOR ME, I GET LOTS OF PRESENTS & I GET TO EAT THE TURKEY & PULL CRACKERS & WEAR MY PAPER CROWN!"
Stacey: "We'll spend Christmas together & the wedding on the 27th, ok?"
Mumford: "YES, I SHOULD BE WORLD CHAMPION BY THEN & WE CAN GO SEE PLYMOUTH ARGYLE, CAN I WEAR MY SUPERMAN COSTUME?"
Stacey: "No babe you'll have to wear a suit."
Mumford: "OH A SUIT, I'LL LOOK LIKE THE PRIME MINISTER! I'LL WEAR MY LUCKY SOCKIES! CAN DENNIS COME TO THE WEDDING? AND CAN HE WEAR A SUIT?"
Stacey: "Course he can!"
Mumford: "THIS IS GONNA BE THE BESTEST EVER! OH EVEN BETTER MY WILLY IS TURNING INTO STONE!"
*Lord Sugar's office*
Lord Sugar: "Who the bloody hell did this?!? Right, if I find out who did this, I'll make it my mission in life to make their life a living hell! You there, get out of my office!"
Man: "But I... I... I..."
Lord Sugar: "I I I I, everything's about bloody you! YOU'RE FIRED!"
Man: *Bursts into tears*
