Post by Elder Gohan on Dec 31, 2013 16:07:52 GMT -5
SWC Awards have been dished out. Due to "recent developments..." it turns out that SWC has just held it's ceremony behind closed doors.
The awards are as follows:
Match of the year: 6 man hell in a cell for the world title, Jake Jolson collected the award & nearly killed a 10 yea old kid.
Worst Match: Rey won this one. It was actually close
Funniest moment: Rey meeting Jimmy Savile (honorary mention to Kaitlyn's tits). Presented by Jack Whitehall. Dickhead.
Superstar of the Year: Of course, Captain Carpentry. Presented by Ian Holloway who remarked that last time he was on an SWC stage he was attacked by a thumb!
Donkey of the Year: No guesses here, homeless guy gives the award to... REY!
Rookie of the year: It's a tie. Jeremy Kyle/Neil Lennon agreed to give the award to both Jake Jolson & Johnny Triplearse.
Crap impact award: Treguard. Presented by abonseiro & metalgod. Shame Treguard got released & can't collect his award... His Blue Peter badge is in the post.
Best Dressed: Again. It's another tie, but this time, Barry Shitpeas has decided to give the award to George!
Worst Dressed: 2 years in a row, it's MUMFORD! Sorry Mumfie...
The 'William Regal's WTF smiley' award (WTF moment): It has to be one of the biggest shocks, not just of the year but in actual history. Neil Dimmick becoming World Champion. (Yes, that actually happened. It was supposed to be his big break...)
Match.com's couple of the year: Aww. Isn't this the cutest award, little love hearts with our pictures on the titantron! Me & Carly Rae Jepsen! I WON AN AWARD! I WON AN AWARD!
And the last award: It weren't my idea, nor the talent scouts idea but it's Giving Robmaniac a contract!
That concludes SWC Awards 2013... Has Lord Sugar left the arena? He has, ok.
Me: "Everybody, it's 11pm. I have some bad news... SWC is in serious financial crisis."
George: "That's ridiculous, Lord Sugar is a billionaire!"
Me: "Yes, but several of his investments have failed. Including many Amstrad products, ever heard of Amstrad? I haven't. He even predicted that Apple would have gone bust by 2005, the man is clueless if the old president hadn't died on the shitter we wouldn't be here. As head of creative, I'm gonna have to fire some people..."
*The following people have been released: Barry Shitpeas, 3 art trolls, RAWR! GM Stephen Fry, abonseiro, Darth Vader, Bill Bailey & several SWC coaches*
Andy: "Woah."
Lou: "A bit harsh"
I'm sorry but it's the reason why SWC is in such a state, GM Fry took a huge salary for doing nothing, RAWR was in serious ruin while KOKDown! reaped the rewards. Now do you want the real bad news? Most of you will have to take paycuts..."
Happy new fucking year...
The awards are as follows:
Match of the year: 6 man hell in a cell for the world title, Jake Jolson collected the award & nearly killed a 10 yea old kid.
Worst Match: Rey won this one. It was actually close
Funniest moment: Rey meeting Jimmy Savile (honorary mention to Kaitlyn's tits). Presented by Jack Whitehall. Dickhead.
Superstar of the Year: Of course, Captain Carpentry. Presented by Ian Holloway who remarked that last time he was on an SWC stage he was attacked by a thumb!
Donkey of the Year: No guesses here, homeless guy gives the award to... REY!
Rookie of the year: It's a tie. Jeremy Kyle/Neil Lennon agreed to give the award to both Jake Jolson & Johnny Triplearse.
Crap impact award: Treguard. Presented by abonseiro & metalgod. Shame Treguard got released & can't collect his award... His Blue Peter badge is in the post.
Best Dressed: Again. It's another tie, but this time, Barry Shitpeas has decided to give the award to George!
Worst Dressed: 2 years in a row, it's MUMFORD! Sorry Mumfie...
The 'William Regal's WTF smiley' award (WTF moment): It has to be one of the biggest shocks, not just of the year but in actual history. Neil Dimmick becoming World Champion. (Yes, that actually happened. It was supposed to be his big break...)
Match.com's couple of the year: Aww. Isn't this the cutest award, little love hearts with our pictures on the titantron! Me & Carly Rae Jepsen! I WON AN AWARD! I WON AN AWARD!
And the last award: It weren't my idea, nor the talent scouts idea but it's Giving Robmaniac a contract!
That concludes SWC Awards 2013... Has Lord Sugar left the arena? He has, ok.
Me: "Everybody, it's 11pm. I have some bad news... SWC is in serious financial crisis."
George: "That's ridiculous, Lord Sugar is a billionaire!"
Me: "Yes, but several of his investments have failed. Including many Amstrad products, ever heard of Amstrad? I haven't. He even predicted that Apple would have gone bust by 2005, the man is clueless if the old president hadn't died on the shitter we wouldn't be here. As head of creative, I'm gonna have to fire some people..."
*The following people have been released: Barry Shitpeas, 3 art trolls, RAWR! GM Stephen Fry, abonseiro, Darth Vader, Bill Bailey & several SWC coaches*
Andy: "Woah."
Lou: "A bit harsh"
I'm sorry but it's the reason why SWC is in such a state, GM Fry took a huge salary for doing nothing, RAWR was in serious ruin while KOKDown! reaped the rewards. Now do you want the real bad news? Most of you will have to take paycuts..."
Happy new fucking year...
