Post by Elder Gohan on Jan 5, 2014 10:27:46 GMT -5
First two matches are over in seconds coz the Bumble is more important lol.
The Bumble in numbers: 7 The time in seconds Yoshimitsu lasted in the Bumble. 55 The time in minutes Ronald McDonald lasted in the Bumble. 66 The age of the oldest Bumble winner. That's about it.
The poor sod who drew #1 is...
Mikey! Unlucky, you're only as shit as the next person...
Barry Chuckle, the semi-retired 70 year old who drew #30 last year, well what a shit start to the bumble, a pensioner & a fat kid, they're wrestling, but Barry ain't gonna eliminate him by choking him in the corner! Well we are seconds away from the next entrant...
IT'S THE STIG! HE'S RUNNING TO THE RING & HE'S ALL FIRED UP! Lefts & Rights being thrown, & a Gambon Corner Splash to Barry Chuckle oh he's gonna Powerlap Suplex Mikey! Shit, the ring shook, but he could only do it half way. Lose weight fat boy! The Stig on top of this...
Louis Spence! He's taking his time & showing off, get in the fooking ring already! Right he's in. The former SWC Champion is choking Barry Chuckle in the corner & eliminates him! How Mikey outlasted anyone is beyond me... The Stig is gonna eliminate Spence, but kicks the recently unmasked thing, ugh it's hideous! Number 5 making his way...
NO! It can't be! It is, that despicable son of a betch, Chris Jericho he's in the Bumble & there's a calm, Y2J offering peace to everyone & he's gonna have to fight fucking hard & he's eliminated Louis Spence! And there goes Mikey! Just Jericho & The Stig as #6 makes his way...
It's Rey! He's entered into the Bumble & he's eliminated Stig & now it's Y2J & Rey in the ring... Rey is locked into the walls of jericho!
Rey: ahh get of me christian lol ah i kick u in da balls u kok lol
Rey hits Y2J with a low blow & clotheslines him over the top rope, Rey is on his own in the ring! Could Rey go to Fluck-The-Cluckamania? He's now got to outlast 24 other superstars... Speaking of which, #7...
It's the other Chuckle, Paul Chuckle! He stops & goes to eliminate Rey, but slips & falls over the top rope! Rey is just cleaning house, never thought I would say that. He's just wasting time now, btw Paul Chuckle broke the shortest time record, 6.7 seconds. #8 is...
VERY NICE! Crowd is very pumped up! HIGH FIVE! Rey is dancing to Borat's music & they're both dancing in the ring this is the bumble & Rey lobs Borat outta there, the crowd is booing like fuck. I don't remember booking or agreeing to this?!? Ah, let Rey have his moment, I think he's writing his own text fed soon anyway... #9 is...
NOOOOOO! NO! NOOO! IT'S NOT, IT'S JIMMY SAVILE! HE'S HERE! THE LOOK ON REY'S FACE!
Jimmy: "Now then, now then. I am entering the bumble, how's a bout that then guys and gals!"
Rey is hiding in a ball & Savile is humping Rey, but he breaks free & kicks Savile in the face, Rey is shit scared at the moment & he's panicking like erm, a very scared thingy. #10 better save Rey...
Commonwealth Champion Todd Mortar! He and Rey are starting a rivalry recently over the commonwealth title, and he's saved Rey, he's done the right thing but, now he's beating down Rey & now Mortar is beating down Rey, Savile is hiding in the corner as #11 prepares...
The Soviet Murdering Machine GUN JACK! He's 7 foot tall, 500 lbs it's gonna be tough to eliminate this guy everyone stops & then rushes Jack but Jack shove everyone off him & clotheslines Rey flat. Oh & there goes Savile! The most evil man to ever appear in the bumble is outta here as #12 makes his way.
Really? Gyles Brandreth, the host of SWC did you buy this? He's in the ring... Jack clotheslined him back out. Gyles Brandreth eliminated in 1.8 seconds! Pathetic, Rey is still in the bumble surprisingly now trying to grind the iron giant down, he's doing well I'll give him that! He's now lasted the longest, a whole 15 minutes! #13 is...
The undefeated FunkyTown! He upset Jake Jolson on Friday, can he do one better & win the bumble? From unlucky 13 as well, the odds are against him. He could be the next big thing or the next Dimmick, but he's helping everyone try to get Jack out. It's helping ish, but you'll need more superstars tbh # 14 is...
Trevor Rent! Massive boos allround for Rent who goes straight for Gun Jack. That's now 4 superstars struggling against Gun Jack, can no one stop him? Give it a minute & we'll be halfway through the bumble, infact #15 is...
Spider-Man! FUCK YEAH! Everyone loves Spider-Man, I actually forgot he was part of the roster, whoops. But again everyone is going for Gun Jack, is it really that hard. You've all seen Royal Rumble where Big Show was eliminated right? Use his weight against him! No one listens to me... #16 is...
OH MY GOD! IT'S TREGUARD! HE'S BACK IN THE BUMBLE! & He eliminates Rey! The dream is over for Rey, at least for another year, but now they're a man down in the quest to eliminate Gun Jack, they're holding him & grinding him so he can't move, maybe we should have kept Treguard, he'd have been much more use than Darth Vader #17 is coming out...
The Rocket, Ronnie O'Sullivan! A future SWC Champion for sure, going straight for Gun Jack who is only starting to wear down, one more superstar will do it I reckon, it's pretty much SWC vs Gun Jack at the moment, Gun Jack fights back, clothesline O'Sullivan ducks & dropkicks Jack who wobbles & Todd Mortar clotheslines Jack over! They did it! They all eliminated Gun Jack! And now they've all turned on eachother as #18 comes out.
The former SWC Champion who is then eliminated in 20 seconds! Treguard, Ronnie O'Sullivan, Todd Mortar, Spider-Man, FunkyTown & Trevor Rent still in the match the fans are fired up, I hope George/Slenderman are watching because it ain't gonna be an easy defence of the title as #19 is gonna join the action!
BOOKER T! HE'S RUNNING TO THE RING & WHAT A KICK TO FUNKYTOWN! & SCISSORS KICK TO TODD MORTAR! SPIN-A-ROONIE! THIS IS AWESOME. Book End to Spider-Man, and another Spin-a-roonie! Booker T is on fire, he's kicking arse! If only Rey was still in the ring, he'd probably get his amico kicked all over the ring, here's #20 is...
Former SWC World Champion Neil Dimmick! For every good champion I suppose there's a shit one. He's joining the brawl & eliminates Booker T, you bastard Dimmick I was enjoying that! Now I hope your next, speaking of next #21 is...
Johnny Triplearse! He runs to the ring & Eliminates Dimmick & Triple Powerbombs Todd Mortar, they haven't forgotten their little tiff. They're killing eachother again, they were best friends in the noon camp, what happened eh? Fuck you Dimmick, I laughed when you were eliminated & so did everyone else #22 is...
The IC Champion! He was IC Champ last Bumble! I think he has survived 2 Fluck-The-Cluckamania's & now 2 Bumbles as IC Champion, absolutely wonderful. Anyway he's watching everyone brawl, Todd Mortar at this point has lasted 27 minutes now. Everyone is starting to falter, looking a bit tired like. #23 is...
Ugh, Osama bin Laden is here, but he's looking a bit sick. He's just been sick into a child's SWC Novelty stetson hat. Charming, but he gets in the ring & there goes Treguard, ooh nasty! Ooh there goes Spider-Man! Osama gets a double straight away but is then eliminated by FunkyTown, who then eliminates Ronnie O'Sullivan. #24 is...
Gabriel Logan, the crowd erupt! He joins in a brawl for a few minutes until the next entrant #25
OH GOD, IT'S CRAZY JAKE JOLSON & HE'S CLOTHESLINED A CAMERA MAN & He's just got in the ring & started clotheslining fuckers left & right, everyone down. Jolson eliminates Trevor Rent, who spent most of the match hiding. What a waste. #26 is...
The crowd are on their feet, it's Mumford! The crowd are going nuts, Mumford confronts Jake Jolson a brief staredown, Mumfie is braver than I am tbh, I wouldn't even wanna be in his presence. Jolson walks towards the ropes as Mumford backs into them, O'Sullivan dropkicks Jolson & Mumford moves & Jolson is eliminated, Mumford is apologising frantically. # 27 is about to make way...
One half of Little Britain is Lou! He runs into... Jake Jolson's clothesline & is just decimated & brought backstage, it's unlikely that Lou can continue at this point. so we'll just hurry up & bring out #28...
The other half of Little Britain, Andy who goes into the bumble, who is distracted by his friend Lou, Andy eliminates himself deciding that his friend is more important than a title shot. There goes James May, eliminated by FunkyTown. #29 is...
RONALD MCDONALD, WHO BRAWLS WITH EVERYONE, Todd Mortar eliminates himself & Johnny Triplearse! FunkyTown, Gabe Logan, Ronald McDonald & Mumford left with one more pick to go & I know who it is! #30 is...
It's the Captain! Captain Carpentry! He's in the ring & eliminates Gabe Logan. The crowd are behind everyone, they can't boo Captain Carpentry or my little Mumfie! Oh, McSlam & Rebate Powerbomb to FunkyTown, he's out cold. Mumfie with the sliced bread #2 attempt on Ronald McDonald & HE'S OUT! MUMFORD ELIMINATED! 3 superstars remain, but only 2 are still conscious Ronald McDonald & Captain Carpentry wrestle for a few minutes & McDonald eventually eliminated. FunkyTown has done very well, he has lasted a good 58 minutes now! He needs to hold on to become the first 60 minute man, it's been a long bumble by bumble standards & Captain Carpentry grabs FunkyTown by the head & throws him over the top rope but FunkyTown lands feet first on the apron, Captain Carpentry has to knock him off... FUNKYTOWN COUNTERS WITH A BACK BODY DROP & THE CAPTAIN LANDS THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! IT'S OVER!
Ring Announcer: "LADIES & GENTLEMEN, THE WINNER OF THE 2014 ROYAL BUMBLE MATCH... FUNKYTOWN!" IT'S THE UPSET OF THE YEAR, FUNKYTOWN HAS WON A SHOT AT THE SWC WORLD TITLE AT FLUCK-THE-CLUCKAMANIA!
The Bumble in numbers: 7 The time in seconds Yoshimitsu lasted in the Bumble. 55 The time in minutes Ronald McDonald lasted in the Bumble. 66 The age of the oldest Bumble winner. That's about it.
The poor sod who drew #1 is...
Mikey! Unlucky, you're only as shit as the next person...
Barry Chuckle, the semi-retired 70 year old who drew #30 last year, well what a shit start to the bumble, a pensioner & a fat kid, they're wrestling, but Barry ain't gonna eliminate him by choking him in the corner! Well we are seconds away from the next entrant...
IT'S THE STIG! HE'S RUNNING TO THE RING & HE'S ALL FIRED UP! Lefts & Rights being thrown, & a Gambon Corner Splash to Barry Chuckle oh he's gonna Powerlap Suplex Mikey! Shit, the ring shook, but he could only do it half way. Lose weight fat boy! The Stig on top of this...
Louis Spence! He's taking his time & showing off, get in the fooking ring already! Right he's in. The former SWC Champion is choking Barry Chuckle in the corner & eliminates him! How Mikey outlasted anyone is beyond me... The Stig is gonna eliminate Spence, but kicks the recently unmasked thing, ugh it's hideous! Number 5 making his way...
NO! It can't be! It is, that despicable son of a betch, Chris Jericho he's in the Bumble & there's a calm, Y2J offering peace to everyone & he's gonna have to fight fucking hard & he's eliminated Louis Spence! And there goes Mikey! Just Jericho & The Stig as #6 makes his way...
It's Rey! He's entered into the Bumble & he's eliminated Stig & now it's Y2J & Rey in the ring... Rey is locked into the walls of jericho!
Rey: ahh get of me christian lol ah i kick u in da balls u kok lol
Rey hits Y2J with a low blow & clotheslines him over the top rope, Rey is on his own in the ring! Could Rey go to Fluck-The-Cluckamania? He's now got to outlast 24 other superstars... Speaking of which, #7...
It's the other Chuckle, Paul Chuckle! He stops & goes to eliminate Rey, but slips & falls over the top rope! Rey is just cleaning house, never thought I would say that. He's just wasting time now, btw Paul Chuckle broke the shortest time record, 6.7 seconds. #8 is...
VERY NICE! Crowd is very pumped up! HIGH FIVE! Rey is dancing to Borat's music & they're both dancing in the ring this is the bumble & Rey lobs Borat outta there, the crowd is booing like fuck. I don't remember booking or agreeing to this?!? Ah, let Rey have his moment, I think he's writing his own text fed soon anyway... #9 is...
NOOOOOO! NO! NOOO! IT'S NOT, IT'S JIMMY SAVILE! HE'S HERE! THE LOOK ON REY'S FACE!
Jimmy: "Now then, now then. I am entering the bumble, how's a bout that then guys and gals!"
Rey is hiding in a ball & Savile is humping Rey, but he breaks free & kicks Savile in the face, Rey is shit scared at the moment & he's panicking like erm, a very scared thingy. #10 better save Rey...
Commonwealth Champion Todd Mortar! He and Rey are starting a rivalry recently over the commonwealth title, and he's saved Rey, he's done the right thing but, now he's beating down Rey & now Mortar is beating down Rey, Savile is hiding in the corner as #11 prepares...
The Soviet Murdering Machine GUN JACK! He's 7 foot tall, 500 lbs it's gonna be tough to eliminate this guy everyone stops & then rushes Jack but Jack shove everyone off him & clotheslines Rey flat. Oh & there goes Savile! The most evil man to ever appear in the bumble is outta here as #12 makes his way.
Really? Gyles Brandreth, the host of SWC did you buy this? He's in the ring... Jack clotheslined him back out. Gyles Brandreth eliminated in 1.8 seconds! Pathetic, Rey is still in the bumble surprisingly now trying to grind the iron giant down, he's doing well I'll give him that! He's now lasted the longest, a whole 15 minutes! #13 is...
The undefeated FunkyTown! He upset Jake Jolson on Friday, can he do one better & win the bumble? From unlucky 13 as well, the odds are against him. He could be the next big thing or the next Dimmick, but he's helping everyone try to get Jack out. It's helping ish, but you'll need more superstars tbh # 14 is...
Trevor Rent! Massive boos allround for Rent who goes straight for Gun Jack. That's now 4 superstars struggling against Gun Jack, can no one stop him? Give it a minute & we'll be halfway through the bumble, infact #15 is...
[yt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o29VoxtsFk[yt]
Spider-Man! FUCK YEAH! Everyone loves Spider-Man, I actually forgot he was part of the roster, whoops. But again everyone is going for Gun Jack, is it really that hard. You've all seen Royal Rumble where Big Show was eliminated right? Use his weight against him! No one listens to me... #16 is...
OH MY GOD! IT'S TREGUARD! HE'S BACK IN THE BUMBLE! & He eliminates Rey! The dream is over for Rey, at least for another year, but now they're a man down in the quest to eliminate Gun Jack, they're holding him & grinding him so he can't move, maybe we should have kept Treguard, he'd have been much more use than Darth Vader #17 is coming out...
The Rocket, Ronnie O'Sullivan! A future SWC Champion for sure, going straight for Gun Jack who is only starting to wear down, one more superstar will do it I reckon, it's pretty much SWC vs Gun Jack at the moment, Gun Jack fights back, clothesline O'Sullivan ducks & dropkicks Jack who wobbles & Todd Mortar clotheslines Jack over! They did it! They all eliminated Gun Jack! And now they've all turned on eachother as #18 comes out.
The former SWC Champion who is then eliminated in 20 seconds! Treguard, Ronnie O'Sullivan, Todd Mortar, Spider-Man, FunkyTown & Trevor Rent still in the match the fans are fired up, I hope George/Slenderman are watching because it ain't gonna be an easy defence of the title as #19 is gonna join the action!
BOOKER T! HE'S RUNNING TO THE RING & WHAT A KICK TO FUNKYTOWN! & SCISSORS KICK TO TODD MORTAR! SPIN-A-ROONIE! THIS IS AWESOME. Book End to Spider-Man, and another Spin-a-roonie! Booker T is on fire, he's kicking arse! If only Rey was still in the ring, he'd probably get his amico kicked all over the ring, here's #20 is...
Former SWC World Champion Neil Dimmick! For every good champion I suppose there's a shit one. He's joining the brawl & eliminates Booker T, you bastard Dimmick I was enjoying that! Now I hope your next, speaking of next #21 is...
Johnny Triplearse! He runs to the ring & Eliminates Dimmick & Triple Powerbombs Todd Mortar, they haven't forgotten their little tiff. They're killing eachother again, they were best friends in the noon camp, what happened eh? Fuck you Dimmick, I laughed when you were eliminated & so did everyone else #22 is...
The IC Champion! He was IC Champ last Bumble! I think he has survived 2 Fluck-The-Cluckamania's & now 2 Bumbles as IC Champion, absolutely wonderful. Anyway he's watching everyone brawl, Todd Mortar at this point has lasted 27 minutes now. Everyone is starting to falter, looking a bit tired like. #23 is...
Ugh, Osama bin Laden is here, but he's looking a bit sick. He's just been sick into a child's SWC Novelty stetson hat. Charming, but he gets in the ring & there goes Treguard, ooh nasty! Ooh there goes Spider-Man! Osama gets a double straight away but is then eliminated by FunkyTown, who then eliminates Ronnie O'Sullivan. #24 is...
Gabriel Logan, the crowd erupt! He joins in a brawl for a few minutes until the next entrant #25
OH GOD, IT'S CRAZY JAKE JOLSON & HE'S CLOTHESLINED A CAMERA MAN & He's just got in the ring & started clotheslining fuckers left & right, everyone down. Jolson eliminates Trevor Rent, who spent most of the match hiding. What a waste. #26 is...
The crowd are on their feet, it's Mumford! The crowd are going nuts, Mumford confronts Jake Jolson a brief staredown, Mumfie is braver than I am tbh, I wouldn't even wanna be in his presence. Jolson walks towards the ropes as Mumford backs into them, O'Sullivan dropkicks Jolson & Mumford moves & Jolson is eliminated, Mumford is apologising frantically. # 27 is about to make way...
One half of Little Britain is Lou! He runs into... Jake Jolson's clothesline & is just decimated & brought backstage, it's unlikely that Lou can continue at this point. so we'll just hurry up & bring out #28...
The other half of Little Britain, Andy who goes into the bumble, who is distracted by his friend Lou, Andy eliminates himself deciding that his friend is more important than a title shot. There goes James May, eliminated by FunkyTown. #29 is...
RONALD MCDONALD, WHO BRAWLS WITH EVERYONE, Todd Mortar eliminates himself & Johnny Triplearse! FunkyTown, Gabe Logan, Ronald McDonald & Mumford left with one more pick to go & I know who it is! #30 is...
It's the Captain! Captain Carpentry! He's in the ring & eliminates Gabe Logan. The crowd are behind everyone, they can't boo Captain Carpentry or my little Mumfie! Oh, McSlam & Rebate Powerbomb to FunkyTown, he's out cold. Mumfie with the sliced bread #2 attempt on Ronald McDonald & HE'S OUT! MUMFORD ELIMINATED! 3 superstars remain, but only 2 are still conscious Ronald McDonald & Captain Carpentry wrestle for a few minutes & McDonald eventually eliminated. FunkyTown has done very well, he has lasted a good 58 minutes now! He needs to hold on to become the first 60 minute man, it's been a long bumble by bumble standards & Captain Carpentry grabs FunkyTown by the head & throws him over the top rope but FunkyTown lands feet first on the apron, Captain Carpentry has to knock him off... FUNKYTOWN COUNTERS WITH A BACK BODY DROP & THE CAPTAIN LANDS THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! IT'S OVER!
Ring Announcer: "LADIES & GENTLEMEN, THE WINNER OF THE 2014 ROYAL BUMBLE MATCH... FUNKYTOWN!" IT'S THE UPSET OF THE YEAR, FUNKYTOWN HAS WON A SHOT AT THE SWC WORLD TITLE AT FLUCK-THE-CLUCKAMANIA!
