Post by Elder Gohan on Jan 18, 2015 8:49:13 GMT -5
Shit, it's that time of year. 30 Superstars enter the ring & they gotta throw eachother over the top rope!
Let's see who drew #1!
Robmaniac. He's confused as to what he has to do, get in the ring numbnuts. Left a bit, no not under the ring we could be in for a long night...
#2 is on his way out...
Oh god, it's Rey! What the hell is his entrance?!? I honestly wouldn't put it past him to dress up as Barbie tbh, don't tell me she's entering the Bumble later on...
Right I suppose we've kicked off, Robmaniac & Rey are just talking, Rey is eplaining the rules of the match & he still doesn't get it, we could've paid Howard from the Halifax adverts in the 90's to show up. #3 is about to come out and a single punch hasn't been thrown. Dear god.
We couldn't have wished for a worse start... Dimmickdust! He's sort of touching himself & doing that thing Goldust does, he's brought his turnbuckle pad to the ring. He's now staring at Rey and Robmaniac looking a bit confused, he's finally in the ring & he's just sat there occasionally making noises. If this event doesn't perk up by the 7th entrant I'd consider giving refunds, it's now stupid at this point no one has moved in about 5 minutes! Rey is explaining the rules AGAIN. Just throw him out for christ's sake...
#4 makes way...
HAHA YEAH! I knew it'd perk up! Johnny Bravo! He's here! He's running to the ring... And gets everyone to do the monkey, ahh I love it! The fans are screaming all it took was Johnny Bravo to stop a riot! Bravo bangs Rey & Robmaniac's heads together & throws them out! Finally, now Dimmickdust breathes in & exhales on Bravo who responds by wailing on Dimmickdust & smashes him into the corner.
#5 is here...
Minecraft Steve! His boxy head is entering the ring, he moves slower than the Great Khali but I have high hopes for this kid, he goes straight for Johnny Bravo but ends up tripping and landing on the second rope, Dimmickdust then rides Steve like a horsey! We've had a slow start to the event, but it's perking up! Johnny Bravo tries to throw Dimmickdust over the top rope, but fails as Minecraft Steve dropkicks Johnny Bravo.
#6 enters...
Oh my... GUN JACK! 7'2 over 500 lbs! He's bigger than Big Show! Will anyone be able to stop this guy! He enters the ring & throws Dimmickdust into the corner so hard the ring shook & what a punch, dust is out cold! Johnny Bravo punches Gun Jack to no avail & receives a powerbomb for his efforts, Steve then tries a rear naked choke but forgetting that Jack has no lungs proving that move bloody useless as Jack repeatedly punches Steve, can anyone stop Gun Jack? He raises his hand as a sign of his dominance.
Lucky #7...
Gabe Logan runs to the ring, I love his theme & the light show that goes with it, and goes for Gun Jack with a flurry of punches & kicks bringing him down to one knee but Jack shoves him out the way & boots him in the face. Jack has been totally dominant so far. He might have a chance, last year it took 8 people to eliminate Gun Jack so it won't be easy, maybe he'll win it this year...
#8...
James May the Intercontinental Champion, Gun Jack has never beaten James May! There could be a chance that Jack'll be Jacked out! James May can't lift 500 lbs, he needs assistance but will he get it? He needs everyone to work together to eliminate him... But of course May & Dimmickdust have had their differences over the past few weeks, Minecraft Steve wants to challenge for the IC title at some point, so there is some tension, Johnny Bravo who has been kinda good can lift that weight, but they're choosing to wear Gun Jack down...
#9 #9 #9 #9....
Now here's someone that has made waves, former SWC World Heavyweight Champion Jake Jolson! Don't say the c word! Cu... Not that one, the other one! he'll go ins... He'll go bat... He'll beat people up... Low blow from behind by Dimmickdust & he throws Jolson over, Dimmickdust runs to the other corner to chop Minecraft Steve so it looks like Gun Jack eliminated Jolson, he fell for it. Jolson thinks Jack eliminated him & re enters the ring and just batters Gun Jack, he's hit him with a cricket bat & he's hit a clothesline & Jack is KO'd at the moment
Double digits #10
FIRE! It's Todd Mortar, the NYFD's finest! May locks Gun Jack in the clutch control as Todd Mortar starts kicking Jack in the face, other than that they start brawling until the next entrant...
Oh here we go! SWC Developmental's Gibraltarian Giant! 6'9 390 lbs RAMIREZ! He hasn't lost a match yet, but that's developmental, the main roster is a step up from beating up Eddy every week & maybe pinning Argyle, as Jack ends up throwing everyone into the centre of the ring, Ramirez boots Dimmickdust so hard that his head moved! Ramirez stares at the crowd, at the opposite end Gun Jack does the same thing... OH HERE WE GO GUN JACK & RAMIREZ HAVE TURNED THEIR ATTENTION TO EACHOTHER~! Ramirez screams, followed by Gun Jack's war cry! They lay into eachother, Ramirez running to the ropes & BOOTING GUN JACK in the face as Jack wobbles onto the ropes, Ramirez takes the chance & clotheslines Jack over as Mortar, May & Dimmickdust use Ramirez's momentum against him & he's eliminated as well! Oh there goes Minecraft Steve!
#11 is...
Hang on, it's the white smoke... The bright lights... IT'S JESUS! JESUS IS HERE! Is it the second coming?!? Jesus is in the Bumble! The Bumble has stopped! as Jesus is making his entrance! Come on Jesus stop milking it mate, #12 might have to enter at this rate! Jesus is in the ring. Nobody has moved, remember when I said it better perk up soon? I think it has perked up, the son of god is here! And everyone is shocked!
#12 is on his way...
Chef Ramsay, he makes his way to the ring & yells to Dimmickdust "What the fuck are you?" Jesus then kicks Ramsay in the nuts, "Thou shalt not swear!" I don't think anyone wants to eliminate Jesus, It'd be on their conscience whoa Dimmickdust just tried & HAS ELIMINATED JESUS CHRIST! DIMMICKDUST ELIMINATED JESUS! That is a shocker! He clicks his fingers & Dimmickdust is standing with both feet on the floor...
Unlucky #13 is...
FunkyTown! He won the Bumble from this spot last year, but then he won the World Title & broke his leg in a tour of South Africa, took 5 months off & STILL managed to be superstar of the year! Johnny Bravo who's momentum has cooled goes for Ramsay & FunkyTown swaggers in the ring for a bit, FunkyTown manages to get everyone in the ring dancing again! He eliminates Johnny Bravo, he fell for his own trick!
#14 is...
It's The Stig, Some say... He's been eliminated after 4 seconds, not quite Paul Chuckle's 2 seconds or the record holding Gyles Brandreth's 1.2 seconds but still pretty crap & now I'll have to fill time until #15 comes out. BUY OUR ACTION FIGURES & TRADING CARDS!
#15 is
Yorghos, one of SWC's future stars, he straight away eliminates James May! He's a very talented guy who came very close to winning a world title in his rookie year, by the way, Mumford holds the record for shortest time taken to win a world title with 3 weeks, but Yorghos is older than Mumford as well, but that won't stop Yorghos who has taken this crowd by storm, they love him & wish him well but will he go all the way tonight?
#16 prepares
Austin Powers! He hasn't been seen in a while! Remember he made his debut as a surprise entrant I think in 2012 but ultimately failed to win, he eliminates Todd Mortar who had been in for a fair while now, Gabe Logan eliminate by FunkyTown!
#17 is...
Nobody?!? Who is it? Ah well obviously Robmaniac pissing around backstage... We'll wait then...
#18 ahoy...
Peter Griffin AND Mikey! Oh great Team Fat Arse... These two have quite the friendship, they were enemies but then they got arrested for a robbery they didn't commit & they've somehow managed to eliminate themselves, I dunno how but they've cocked it up royally. It honestly wasn't supposed to happen, Griffin was supposed to be eliminated, but Mikey slipped & he's out. Why did we hire these fucking knobs...
#19 is here!
MUMFORD! He's running to the ring with Dennis! He's so happy, he would do anything to demonstrate his gnarliness! Rey just wishes he could do kick flips while looking after a rat & being married to a pornstar! Mumford eliminates Austin Powers, now it's just him, Yorghos & FunkyTown left in the ring as they just dance. It's the third time the Bumble has stopped for a dance...
#20 is...
Gentleman Jim who slows things down & locks a submission hold onto Mumford and holds on until...
#21
007 starts wrestling Yorghos, as Mumford eliminates Gentleman Jim & this continues as Mumford just stands & cheers with the crowd...
#22
I'm hungry now, it's Ronald McDonald! He eliminated Mumford & James Bond. He then eliminates Yorghos, followed by FunkyTown! Ronald McDonald is the only one in the ring! If that counts, that's FunkyTown's first SWC loss!
#23 is
Louis Spence who enters the ring & dropkicks McDonald, but is then belly to bellied out of the ring! The belief is starting to mount. Can Ronald McDonald eliminate everyone else one by one?
#24 is
Andy who is back body dropped & then thrown out of the ring... I think the pressure is starting to set in...
#25 on his way
JOHNNY TRIPLEARSE Who is thrown straight out!
#26
Lou suffered the same fate as Andy.
#27 is...
John Clemmon Jr who enters the ring, punches Ronald McDonald, whips him against the ropes. McDonald stops & dumps Clemmon over...
#28 is...
George who manages a chokehold on Ronald McDonald but is put on the corner & dropkicked out. The arena is on fire, they can sense the anticipation, can Ronald win this?!?
The penultimate pick!
#29
RONNIE O'SULLIVAN! Who lasted a bit longer than George! If Ronald eliminates the last man, he has eliminated everyone one by one!
10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1!
Who is the last man?
THE ROOF HAS BEEN BLOWN OFF! KURT ANGLE! IS HERE! YERH BOI! IT'S KURT FUCKING ANGLE! GERMAN SUPLEX, FOLLOWED BY THREE MORE! ANGLE SLAM! ANGLE IS HYPED UP! THE STRAPS ARE DOWN! MCDONALD IS TRAPPED IN THE ANGLE LOCK! MCDONALD TAPS OUT! ANGLE THINKS HE'S WON! HE'S CELEBRATING! MCDONALD THROWS HIM OUT OF THE RING!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER OF THE 2015 ROYAL BUMBLE RONALD MCDONALD!
Let's see who drew #1!
Robmaniac. He's confused as to what he has to do, get in the ring numbnuts. Left a bit, no not under the ring we could be in for a long night...
#2 is on his way out...
Oh god, it's Rey! What the hell is his entrance?!? I honestly wouldn't put it past him to dress up as Barbie tbh, don't tell me she's entering the Bumble later on...
Right I suppose we've kicked off, Robmaniac & Rey are just talking, Rey is eplaining the rules of the match & he still doesn't get it, we could've paid Howard from the Halifax adverts in the 90's to show up. #3 is about to come out and a single punch hasn't been thrown. Dear god.
We couldn't have wished for a worse start... Dimmickdust! He's sort of touching himself & doing that thing Goldust does, he's brought his turnbuckle pad to the ring. He's now staring at Rey and Robmaniac looking a bit confused, he's finally in the ring & he's just sat there occasionally making noises. If this event doesn't perk up by the 7th entrant I'd consider giving refunds, it's now stupid at this point no one has moved in about 5 minutes! Rey is explaining the rules AGAIN. Just throw him out for christ's sake...
#4 makes way...
HAHA YEAH! I knew it'd perk up! Johnny Bravo! He's here! He's running to the ring... And gets everyone to do the monkey, ahh I love it! The fans are screaming all it took was Johnny Bravo to stop a riot! Bravo bangs Rey & Robmaniac's heads together & throws them out! Finally, now Dimmickdust breathes in & exhales on Bravo who responds by wailing on Dimmickdust & smashes him into the corner.
#5 is here...
Minecraft Steve! His boxy head is entering the ring, he moves slower than the Great Khali but I have high hopes for this kid, he goes straight for Johnny Bravo but ends up tripping and landing on the second rope, Dimmickdust then rides Steve like a horsey! We've had a slow start to the event, but it's perking up! Johnny Bravo tries to throw Dimmickdust over the top rope, but fails as Minecraft Steve dropkicks Johnny Bravo.
#6 enters...
Oh my... GUN JACK! 7'2 over 500 lbs! He's bigger than Big Show! Will anyone be able to stop this guy! He enters the ring & throws Dimmickdust into the corner so hard the ring shook & what a punch, dust is out cold! Johnny Bravo punches Gun Jack to no avail & receives a powerbomb for his efforts, Steve then tries a rear naked choke but forgetting that Jack has no lungs proving that move bloody useless as Jack repeatedly punches Steve, can anyone stop Gun Jack? He raises his hand as a sign of his dominance.
Lucky #7...
Gabe Logan runs to the ring, I love his theme & the light show that goes with it, and goes for Gun Jack with a flurry of punches & kicks bringing him down to one knee but Jack shoves him out the way & boots him in the face. Jack has been totally dominant so far. He might have a chance, last year it took 8 people to eliminate Gun Jack so it won't be easy, maybe he'll win it this year...
#8...
James May the Intercontinental Champion, Gun Jack has never beaten James May! There could be a chance that Jack'll be Jacked out! James May can't lift 500 lbs, he needs assistance but will he get it? He needs everyone to work together to eliminate him... But of course May & Dimmickdust have had their differences over the past few weeks, Minecraft Steve wants to challenge for the IC title at some point, so there is some tension, Johnny Bravo who has been kinda good can lift that weight, but they're choosing to wear Gun Jack down...
#9 #9 #9 #9....
Now here's someone that has made waves, former SWC World Heavyweight Champion Jake Jolson! Don't say the c word! Cu... Not that one, the other one! he'll go ins... He'll go bat... He'll beat people up... Low blow from behind by Dimmickdust & he throws Jolson over, Dimmickdust runs to the other corner to chop Minecraft Steve so it looks like Gun Jack eliminated Jolson, he fell for it. Jolson thinks Jack eliminated him & re enters the ring and just batters Gun Jack, he's hit him with a cricket bat & he's hit a clothesline & Jack is KO'd at the moment
Double digits #10
FIRE! It's Todd Mortar, the NYFD's finest! May locks Gun Jack in the clutch control as Todd Mortar starts kicking Jack in the face, other than that they start brawling until the next entrant...
Oh here we go! SWC Developmental's Gibraltarian Giant! 6'9 390 lbs RAMIREZ! He hasn't lost a match yet, but that's developmental, the main roster is a step up from beating up Eddy every week & maybe pinning Argyle, as Jack ends up throwing everyone into the centre of the ring, Ramirez boots Dimmickdust so hard that his head moved! Ramirez stares at the crowd, at the opposite end Gun Jack does the same thing... OH HERE WE GO GUN JACK & RAMIREZ HAVE TURNED THEIR ATTENTION TO EACHOTHER~! Ramirez screams, followed by Gun Jack's war cry! They lay into eachother, Ramirez running to the ropes & BOOTING GUN JACK in the face as Jack wobbles onto the ropes, Ramirez takes the chance & clotheslines Jack over as Mortar, May & Dimmickdust use Ramirez's momentum against him & he's eliminated as well! Oh there goes Minecraft Steve!
#11 is...
Hang on, it's the white smoke... The bright lights... IT'S JESUS! JESUS IS HERE! Is it the second coming?!? Jesus is in the Bumble! The Bumble has stopped! as Jesus is making his entrance! Come on Jesus stop milking it mate, #12 might have to enter at this rate! Jesus is in the ring. Nobody has moved, remember when I said it better perk up soon? I think it has perked up, the son of god is here! And everyone is shocked!
#12 is on his way...
Chef Ramsay, he makes his way to the ring & yells to Dimmickdust "What the fuck are you?" Jesus then kicks Ramsay in the nuts, "Thou shalt not swear!" I don't think anyone wants to eliminate Jesus, It'd be on their conscience whoa Dimmickdust just tried & HAS ELIMINATED JESUS CHRIST! DIMMICKDUST ELIMINATED JESUS! That is a shocker! He clicks his fingers & Dimmickdust is standing with both feet on the floor...
Unlucky #13 is...
FunkyTown! He won the Bumble from this spot last year, but then he won the World Title & broke his leg in a tour of South Africa, took 5 months off & STILL managed to be superstar of the year! Johnny Bravo who's momentum has cooled goes for Ramsay & FunkyTown swaggers in the ring for a bit, FunkyTown manages to get everyone in the ring dancing again! He eliminates Johnny Bravo, he fell for his own trick!
#14 is...
It's The Stig, Some say... He's been eliminated after 4 seconds, not quite Paul Chuckle's 2 seconds or the record holding Gyles Brandreth's 1.2 seconds but still pretty crap & now I'll have to fill time until #15 comes out. BUY OUR ACTION FIGURES & TRADING CARDS!
#15 is
Yorghos, one of SWC's future stars, he straight away eliminates James May! He's a very talented guy who came very close to winning a world title in his rookie year, by the way, Mumford holds the record for shortest time taken to win a world title with 3 weeks, but Yorghos is older than Mumford as well, but that won't stop Yorghos who has taken this crowd by storm, they love him & wish him well but will he go all the way tonight?
#16 prepares
Austin Powers! He hasn't been seen in a while! Remember he made his debut as a surprise entrant I think in 2012 but ultimately failed to win, he eliminates Todd Mortar who had been in for a fair while now, Gabe Logan eliminate by FunkyTown!
#17 is...
Nobody?!? Who is it? Ah well obviously Robmaniac pissing around backstage... We'll wait then...
#18 ahoy...
Peter Griffin AND Mikey! Oh great Team Fat Arse... These two have quite the friendship, they were enemies but then they got arrested for a robbery they didn't commit & they've somehow managed to eliminate themselves, I dunno how but they've cocked it up royally. It honestly wasn't supposed to happen, Griffin was supposed to be eliminated, but Mikey slipped & he's out. Why did we hire these fucking knobs...
#19 is here!
MUMFORD! He's running to the ring with Dennis! He's so happy, he would do anything to demonstrate his gnarliness! Rey just wishes he could do kick flips while looking after a rat & being married to a pornstar! Mumford eliminates Austin Powers, now it's just him, Yorghos & FunkyTown left in the ring as they just dance. It's the third time the Bumble has stopped for a dance...
#20 is...
Gentleman Jim who slows things down & locks a submission hold onto Mumford and holds on until...
#21
007 starts wrestling Yorghos, as Mumford eliminates Gentleman Jim & this continues as Mumford just stands & cheers with the crowd...
#22
I'm hungry now, it's Ronald McDonald! He eliminated Mumford & James Bond. He then eliminates Yorghos, followed by FunkyTown! Ronald McDonald is the only one in the ring! If that counts, that's FunkyTown's first SWC loss!
#23 is
Louis Spence who enters the ring & dropkicks McDonald, but is then belly to bellied out of the ring! The belief is starting to mount. Can Ronald McDonald eliminate everyone else one by one?
#24 is
Andy who is back body dropped & then thrown out of the ring... I think the pressure is starting to set in...
#25 on his way
JOHNNY TRIPLEARSE Who is thrown straight out!
#26
Lou suffered the same fate as Andy.
#27 is...
John Clemmon Jr who enters the ring, punches Ronald McDonald, whips him against the ropes. McDonald stops & dumps Clemmon over...
#28 is...
George who manages a chokehold on Ronald McDonald but is put on the corner & dropkicked out. The arena is on fire, they can sense the anticipation, can Ronald win this?!?
The penultimate pick!
#29
RONNIE O'SULLIVAN! Who lasted a bit longer than George! If Ronald eliminates the last man, he has eliminated everyone one by one!
10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1!
Who is the last man?
THE ROOF HAS BEEN BLOWN OFF! KURT ANGLE! IS HERE! YERH BOI! IT'S KURT FUCKING ANGLE! GERMAN SUPLEX, FOLLOWED BY THREE MORE! ANGLE SLAM! ANGLE IS HYPED UP! THE STRAPS ARE DOWN! MCDONALD IS TRAPPED IN THE ANGLE LOCK! MCDONALD TAPS OUT! ANGLE THINKS HE'S WON! HE'S CELEBRATING! MCDONALD THROWS HIM OUT OF THE RING!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER OF THE 2015 ROYAL BUMBLE RONALD MCDONALD!
