Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 22, 2016 10:14:18 GMT -5
SWC is live at Romford Town Centre! It's quite warm & why not? Tonight we have Johnny Triplearse vs Ramirez for the World Heavyweight Title! Lou faces Peter Griffin for his career! Gentleman Jim vs Trumpcard! Aaaaannnndddd.... Martin.
Whoa that was a loud boo, I felt that from here!
Match 1: Womens Championship: Stacey Clemmon (c) vs Panda
Well I guess this is what Panda wanted, it's playing a guitar! D'aww & Panda smashes the guitar over Stacey Clemmon's head! Panda roars afterward & a bearhug, this match is now underway as Panda throws Clemmon out of the ring & through the announce table, I swear every effin' PPV... Our tables aren't free you know! Panda just watches as Clemmon is out cold... Clemmon is counted out! Jesus, get Wendy! She's hurt, dammit!
Match 2: Martin vs Ronnie O'Sullivan
Ronnie: "WHAT THE HELL! I Thought I was getting a shot at Mikey, not this equally fat piece of trash. I got screwed by SWC Management AGAIN! If I don't get my title shot right now, I'll walk out I ain't fighting this guy, he's dangerous!"
Martin: "Come here & say that."
Ronnie: "Screw you. I've done more here in 5 minutes than you've done in your whole career. Actually, I will kick your arse!"
Whoa, Ronnie is wailing on thenew fat kid! Mikey looks anorexic compared to this guy. Martin is refusing to sell & hits a pathetic body drop that nearly paralyses Ronnie! Martin WALKS against the ropes & incoming splash.... Ronnie rolls out the way...
Ronnie: "Oh hell no, I ain't doing this. He nearly killed me, I just landed on my bloody neck! This guy is a threat to our business & he has zero talent, Eva bloody Marie can wrestle rings around this guy!"
Ronnie then batters Martin with a steel chair, oh ffs Martin is CRYING. Why? Why did I start a wrestling company? I could've been an investment banker or I could've bought shares in a Vegas casino...
Match 3: Lou vs Peter Griffin
Peter Griffin is fighting for a Charizard Pokemon Card, Lou is fighting for his career & they're both in ASDA. It starts off & that bloody chicken comes along for one of those epic fight sequences & Lou, Peter & the chicken are just battering eachother while 80's pop music is on in the background! Eventually the fight sequence ends & Lou suffers a wardrobe malfunction & we get a glimpse of "Little Britain" Peter rolls him up, Lou has a choice career or nudity... 1...2...3!
Oh my god... Lou is retired. It's just utter chaos in Romford. ASDA is wrecked, Lou has ripped his trunks, the chicken, Peter Griffin wins a pokemon card & the worst part... ABBA is on in the background, god I fucking hate ABBA. Stick your dancing queen up your arse.
Gentleman Jim retains after KOing Trumpcard.
Main Event: World Heavyweight Championship: Ramirez vs Johnny Triplearse
Ramirez finally defends the World Title, it took a while. 6'10 & is scared of title defences. Ramirez clotheslines Triplearse & follows up with a boot to the face, Triplearse rolls out the ring & sprays powder but misses & somehow KO's the ref! Triplearse then pulls out a potion of super strength & a lead pipe, Ramirez snatches the pipe & whacks Johnny Triplearse no less than 7 times! This has to win, Ramirez lobs the pipe & the announce table is broken again. (I give up..)
It's time, Ramirez puts Triplearse into the powerbomb position, lifts... Triplearse counters with a sunset flip! 1....2....3! Triplearse with an upset! Johnny Triplearse wins his first SWC World Heavyweight Championship...
WAIT A MINUTE! It's... ADRIAN SMILEY WITH THE WANK BANK BRIEFCASE! Triplearse down... SMILEY CASHES IN! TOP ROPE SMILEY SPLASH! ANOTHER ONE FOR INSURANCE... CONNECTING! 1....2.....3! ADRIAN SMILEY WINS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! I REPEAT ADRIAN SMILEY IS THE NEW SWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
Whoa that was a loud boo, I felt that from here!
Match 1: Womens Championship: Stacey Clemmon (c) vs Panda
Well I guess this is what Panda wanted, it's playing a guitar! D'aww & Panda smashes the guitar over Stacey Clemmon's head! Panda roars afterward & a bearhug, this match is now underway as Panda throws Clemmon out of the ring & through the announce table, I swear every effin' PPV... Our tables aren't free you know! Panda just watches as Clemmon is out cold... Clemmon is counted out! Jesus, get Wendy! She's hurt, dammit!
Match 2: Martin vs Ronnie O'Sullivan
Ronnie: "WHAT THE HELL! I Thought I was getting a shot at Mikey, not this equally fat piece of trash. I got screwed by SWC Management AGAIN! If I don't get my title shot right now, I'll walk out I ain't fighting this guy, he's dangerous!"
Martin: "Come here & say that."
Ronnie: "Screw you. I've done more here in 5 minutes than you've done in your whole career. Actually, I will kick your arse!"
Whoa, Ronnie is wailing on the
Ronnie: "Oh hell no, I ain't doing this. He nearly killed me, I just landed on my bloody neck! This guy is a threat to our business & he has zero talent, Eva bloody Marie can wrestle rings around this guy!"
Ronnie then batters Martin with a steel chair, oh ffs Martin is CRYING. Why? Why did I start a wrestling company? I could've been an investment banker or I could've bought shares in a Vegas casino...
Match 3: Lou vs Peter Griffin
Peter Griffin is fighting for a Charizard Pokemon Card, Lou is fighting for his career & they're both in ASDA. It starts off & that bloody chicken comes along for one of those epic fight sequences & Lou, Peter & the chicken are just battering eachother while 80's pop music is on in the background! Eventually the fight sequence ends & Lou suffers a wardrobe malfunction & we get a glimpse of "Little Britain" Peter rolls him up, Lou has a choice career or nudity... 1...2...3!
Oh my god... Lou is retired. It's just utter chaos in Romford. ASDA is wrecked, Lou has ripped his trunks, the chicken, Peter Griffin wins a pokemon card & the worst part... ABBA is on in the background, god I fucking hate ABBA. Stick your dancing queen up your arse.
Gentleman Jim retains after KOing Trumpcard.
Main Event: World Heavyweight Championship: Ramirez vs Johnny Triplearse
Ramirez finally defends the World Title, it took a while. 6'10 & is scared of title defences. Ramirez clotheslines Triplearse & follows up with a boot to the face, Triplearse rolls out the ring & sprays powder but misses & somehow KO's the ref! Triplearse then pulls out a potion of super strength & a lead pipe, Ramirez snatches the pipe & whacks Johnny Triplearse no less than 7 times! This has to win, Ramirez lobs the pipe & the announce table is broken again. (I give up..)
It's time, Ramirez puts Triplearse into the powerbomb position, lifts... Triplearse counters with a sunset flip! 1....2....3! Triplearse with an upset! Johnny Triplearse wins his first SWC World Heavyweight Championship...
WAIT A MINUTE! It's... ADRIAN SMILEY WITH THE WANK BANK BRIEFCASE! Triplearse down... SMILEY CASHES IN! TOP ROPE SMILEY SPLASH! ANOTHER ONE FOR INSURANCE... CONNECTING! 1....2.....3! ADRIAN SMILEY WINS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! I REPEAT ADRIAN SMILEY IS THE NEW SWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
