Post by Elder Gohan on Sept 26, 2016 12:48:54 GMT -5
Wow, 5 years huh? I love this company full of the craziest bastards on the planet.
We are live in Romford! Last time we were here we destroyed ASDA, I wonder if we'll involve McDonalds. Oh for christ's sake...
Martin: "Hello Romford! Jeremy Kyle, you talking to any chavs lately?!?"
Jeremy: "Don't even try to take me on. 15 people died because of you, I should sack you on the spot but you have that damn contract..."
Martin: "And don't you forget it!"
Match 1: Martin vs Mystery Opponent.
Well this is a disaster... Q***n B*h. I thought we were never mentioning her again? Hang about... She SURVIVED being dumped in the Thames? Bullshit. Well, I didn't like wrestling anyways I'm off to the bookies, I ain't reporting this khazi of a match... 20 minutes later & I won 20 quid! The fans are CHEERING B*h... I haven't missed the match?!? Oh Jesus, I want to keep my lunch down. Martin "attempts" another back body drop but he can't lift B*h. Sums up both their careers, it don't matter if Adrian Smiley has MOTY tonight, the fans will remember this pile of wank.
B*h runs out the ring & is counting out. In fairness, I'd rather take the loss than be anywhere near the WORST superstar I've ever seen. I'm not exaggerating when I say I have more talent in my arsehairs...
Martin wins.
It can only get better. Next up it's...
Match 2: Womens Title: Stacey Clemmon vs "Eh Eh Eh"
Stacey: "Whoever is making those noises when I was in the hospital... SHOW YOURSELF!"
Dr Longenbaugh: "Everybody, my search for a specimen is at an end. I can finally introduce... ANNE!"
Anne: "Eh eh eh!"
Stacey: "You! It's you... You've been following me the whole time, you were the nurse!"
Anne: "Eh eh eh!" *cheap shot*
What a start to the match as Clemmon small packages Anne to a 2 count, Anne gets up & taunts Clemmon. Stacey then locks in the Sharpshooter, but Anne reaches the ropes just in time & Anne uses a brilliant counter to get up & uses a boston crab... Clemmon makes it to the ropes & this time Anne chokes Clemmon with the rope before breaking the hold. Anne throws Clemmon shoulder first into the ringpost & a roll up! 1...2....3!
ANNE IS THE NEW WOMENS CHAMPION!
Anne: "EH EH EH!" *She aggressively licks Dr Longenbaugh.*
Match 3: Commonwealth Championship: Gentleman Jim (c) vs Trumpcard
Jim grabs Trumpcard by the throat & launches him into the corner before barraging Trumpcard with strikes & shoulder charges. Jim then uses a modified STF to choke out Trumpcard, but releases the hold & stamps on his head. Trumpcard is struggling, I've never seen Jim like this, he's normally so calm but tonight he's literally beating the shit out of Trumpcard who has a cut lip. Jim now throws Trumpcard out the ring & slams his head against the steps several times & chucks him in the ring... Trumpcard then instinctly low blows Jim... DISQUALIFICATION! Jim recovers quicker & boots Trumpcard in the face before being escorted by security.
Jim: "STILL THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?!? HUH I CAN'T HEAR YOU! YOU KNOW OUR DEAL, YOU CAN'T CHALLENGE ME NO MORE!"
Shit. WENDY!
Wendy: "Cor dear, that's a sore one! Want me to kiss it better?"
Rey: yay i made it in da 5 year show yay i is da goodest guy i nt a sucka lol
BOOKER T! Again. Scissor kick, spinaroonie Booker wins.
Main Event: SWC Championship: Slenderman (c) vs Matt Hardy
Slenderman starts off by slapping Matt Hardy, a lot of delete chants going on, as Matt superplexes Slendy onto the steps, as Jake Jolson is choking out Slendy with piano wire out of the refs sight, 20 minutes pass & Jolson is sneakily double teaming Slendy. Slendy runs against the ropes, but Jolson trips him up & Matt catches Slendy in the Twist of Fate & connects. 1...2....3! MATT HARDY WINS THE SWC CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE 2ND TIME!
Whew, what a show. I'm gonna go to my car... OH SHIT! Was that a car bomb?!? I hope that weren't for me...
Fade to black. Disaster footage & softcore porn until 4-5am follows.
We are live in Romford! Last time we were here we destroyed ASDA, I wonder if we'll involve McDonalds. Oh for christ's sake...
Martin: "Hello Romford! Jeremy Kyle, you talking to any chavs lately?!?"
Jeremy: "Don't even try to take me on. 15 people died because of you, I should sack you on the spot but you have that damn contract..."
Martin: "And don't you forget it!"
Match 1: Martin vs Mystery Opponent.
Well this is a disaster... Q***n B*h. I thought we were never mentioning her again? Hang about... She SURVIVED being dumped in the Thames? Bullshit. Well, I didn't like wrestling anyways I'm off to the bookies, I ain't reporting this khazi of a match... 20 minutes later & I won 20 quid! The fans are CHEERING B*h... I haven't missed the match?!? Oh Jesus, I want to keep my lunch down. Martin "attempts" another back body drop but he can't lift B*h. Sums up both their careers, it don't matter if Adrian Smiley has MOTY tonight, the fans will remember this pile of wank.
B*h runs out the ring & is counting out. In fairness, I'd rather take the loss than be anywhere near the WORST superstar I've ever seen. I'm not exaggerating when I say I have more talent in my arsehairs...
Martin wins.
It can only get better. Next up it's...
Match 2: Womens Title: Stacey Clemmon vs "Eh Eh Eh"
Stacey: "Whoever is making those noises when I was in the hospital... SHOW YOURSELF!"
Dr Longenbaugh: "Everybody, my search for a specimen is at an end. I can finally introduce... ANNE!"
Anne: "Eh eh eh!"
Stacey: "You! It's you... You've been following me the whole time, you were the nurse!"
Anne: "Eh eh eh!" *cheap shot*
What a start to the match as Clemmon small packages Anne to a 2 count, Anne gets up & taunts Clemmon. Stacey then locks in the Sharpshooter, but Anne reaches the ropes just in time & Anne uses a brilliant counter to get up & uses a boston crab... Clemmon makes it to the ropes & this time Anne chokes Clemmon with the rope before breaking the hold. Anne throws Clemmon shoulder first into the ringpost & a roll up! 1...2....3!
ANNE IS THE NEW WOMENS CHAMPION!
Anne: "EH EH EH!" *She aggressively licks Dr Longenbaugh.*
Match 3: Commonwealth Championship: Gentleman Jim (c) vs Trumpcard
Jim grabs Trumpcard by the throat & launches him into the corner before barraging Trumpcard with strikes & shoulder charges. Jim then uses a modified STF to choke out Trumpcard, but releases the hold & stamps on his head. Trumpcard is struggling, I've never seen Jim like this, he's normally so calm but tonight he's literally beating the shit out of Trumpcard who has a cut lip. Jim now throws Trumpcard out the ring & slams his head against the steps several times & chucks him in the ring... Trumpcard then instinctly low blows Jim... DISQUALIFICATION! Jim recovers quicker & boots Trumpcard in the face before being escorted by security.
Jim: "STILL THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?!? HUH I CAN'T HEAR YOU! YOU KNOW OUR DEAL, YOU CAN'T CHALLENGE ME NO MORE!"
Shit. WENDY!
Wendy: "Cor dear, that's a sore one! Want me to kiss it better?"
Rey: yay i made it in da 5 year show yay i is da goodest guy i nt a sucka lol
BOOKER T! Again. Scissor kick, spinaroonie Booker wins.
Main Event: SWC Championship: Slenderman (c) vs Matt Hardy
Slenderman starts off by slapping Matt Hardy, a lot of delete chants going on, as Matt superplexes Slendy onto the steps, as Jake Jolson is choking out Slendy with piano wire out of the refs sight, 20 minutes pass & Jolson is sneakily double teaming Slendy. Slendy runs against the ropes, but Jolson trips him up & Matt catches Slendy in the Twist of Fate & connects. 1...2....3! MATT HARDY WINS THE SWC CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE 2ND TIME!
Whew, what a show. I'm gonna go to my car... OH SHIT! Was that a car bomb?!? I hope that weren't for me...
Fade to black. Disaster footage & softcore porn until 4-5am follows.
