Post by Elder Gohan on Dec 14, 2016 14:36:56 GMT -5
Well, SWC returns from it's 2 month ban following a riot, lets see if we can pull a card out of my arse make a great show with no build up. It's not stopped us before, so first up it's womens champion Anne who faces Stacey Clemmon in a falls count anywhere match! And lets not forget SWC World Championship is defended in a 6 man hell in a cell! Oh christ...
Martin: "I hope nobody forgot about me! I mean, I am the greatest superstar to grace SWC & I want a title shot tonight!"
Mikey: "Get stuffed, you killed 15 people & you want a title shot?!? I could have banged an Ashley, but nooo! I had to become a wrestler..."
Martin: "I don't want your title anyway, I want Matt Hardy's."
Mikey: *Nearly collapses a lung laughing* "I haven't laughed this much since Randall got beat up! Go back to watching Ben 10 & crying yourself to sleep!"
Martin: "Don't care, Ben 10 is cool. Matt Hardy loses the title tonight, I saw the script."
YOU FAT BASTARD! Well there goes the main event.
Match 1: Womens Championship: Anne (c) vs Stacey Clemmon
Anne is one of our more bizarre competitors lately, she stalked Stacey while she was in hospital. Has Stacey gone totally insane? Her brothers think so! Anne throws a stapler at Clemmon & then rolls her up to the count of 2 & Clemmon then punches Anne & throws her into the corner & attempts a dropkick but Anne dodges & Stacey goes groin first into the ringpost & Anne slams her head into the canvas & kicks her head a few times!
Anne: "EH EH EH!"
Stacey Clemmon with a small package! 1...2... Kickout and Anne gets hit with knuckle dusters! That's got to be it right there... Kicked out at two! Clemmon throws Anne out of the ring & follows up with a beautiful dive! Anne recovers & throws Clemmon into the ringsteps, she has that stapler & she staples Stacey to the apron & is hitting her with a spanner multiple times! Cover 1...2...3! Anne retains! But Stacey's OK to walk to the back.
Match 2: Commonwealth Title: Gentleman Jim (c) vs Minecraft Steve
Oh look who's here... Coming to laugh at far superior wrestlers when they cock up...
Martin: "Haha, you botched a scoop slam!"
Jim: "At least I CAN perform one!"
Martin: "Don't care."
Jim then spots Steve trying to capitalise on the distraction & catches him with an uppercut. Jim looks annoyed, moreso than usual as he just takes apart poor Steve, see the only reason Steve is here tonight is because I had great odds on Jim keeping the title tonight, I win a grand if he does but that's beside the point tbh. Jim then locks in the gentleman stretch & Steve taps out.
Jim: "Listen, SWC fans might be stupid, but you Mervin insult their pitifully low intellect. I will be damned if I let you come anywhere near MY SHOW OR MY TITLE! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ARENA!"
Match 3: SWC World Championship: 6-Man Hell in a Cell: Adrian Smiley (c) vs Ramirez vs Johnny Triplearse vs Mumford vs Captain Carpentry vs John Clemmon Jr.
This is essentially the main event since the actual main event has been ruined. Wow it's an all out brawl John Clemmon Jr kicks Mumford in the head as Ramirez throws Johnny Triplearse through the cell door! Smiley cracks Captain Carpentry with a chair & turns his attention to Ramirez who just punches the chair out of his hand & nails a huge left hand, Ramirez literally throws Mumford THROUGH the cell wall, there's literally a hole in it as Triplearse & Clemmon are on the top of the cage, inside Smiley dives and knocks everyone down & Triplearse is about to powerbomb... HURRICANRANA BY CLEMMON, BOTH MEN ARE KO'D! They went through the commentary table didn't they? We just got that one! Smiley then hits a Smiley Splash from the second table onto Clemmon, no one can get there quick enough 1...2...3! Smiley retains in a brutal match!
Main Event: SWC World Title: Matt Hardy (c) vs George
Wow, I totally don't know how this one will go! *Puts £50 on George to win* So George isn't taking this seriously & is overselling every offence, Matt Hardy is laughing! It's a bit of a joke carrying on, we know the result now! Alright, wrap it up we got a party to go to. Matt Hardy sarcastically lays down as George overacts & crawls 'dramatically' toward Matt. Referee points & gives the thumbs up at the camera as he slowly counts 1...... 2......
Ref: "Matt, you know you can kick out at any point. We got some time to kill & let me tell you about how I became a referee... I started when I was 12 I got to wrestling school & I injured my knee, so I got a bit down hearted & left. So I took a job in ASDA & that's when I met this weird Italian-American guy talking to a box of Frosties, I asked him if he's ok & it turns out he was off the telly & I asked where from & he said SWC Wrestling, I was a big fan of course so I got his autograph & he invited me to "join his forum lol" but I didn't, I bought some tickets to the next SWC event, the stage manager saw me & thought this guy has to be a ref, so he trained me & now I can count to three in a rhythmic fashion & that's basically it."
George: "OK, but didn't the stage manager get a trial at QPR?"
Ref: "Nah, that's a lie. It was me, when I was about 7 I was a real good footballer so QPR picked me up for a weeks trial, Ian Holloway then plays me in a friendly, so I run past 3 defenders & BAM! Top corner! And out of nowhere, Ian comes out of nowhere & decks me! I was supposed to put the ball in the other goal, but the other team was infront of it! Way too difficult!"
Matt: "MATT HARDY!"
George: "Wow, I've had this cover on 2 for about 15 minutes, got anymore stories or should we count to three?"
Ref: "I think we'll count to three... NOW!"
George is the new SWC Champion in a legit unspoiled match. George celebrates but Referee has stolen the show.
The Ref, George & Matt Hardy are celebrating in the ring. The Ref is now telling them about the time he found a fiver at Romford train station. Match of the year?
Martin: "I hope nobody forgot about me! I mean, I am the greatest superstar to grace SWC & I want a title shot tonight!"
Mikey: "Get stuffed, you killed 15 people & you want a title shot?!? I could have banged an Ashley, but nooo! I had to become a wrestler..."
Martin: "I don't want your title anyway, I want Matt Hardy's."
Mikey: *Nearly collapses a lung laughing* "I haven't laughed this much since Randall got beat up! Go back to watching Ben 10 & crying yourself to sleep!"
Martin: "Don't care, Ben 10 is cool. Matt Hardy loses the title tonight, I saw the script."
YOU FAT BASTARD! Well there goes the main event.
Match 1: Womens Championship: Anne (c) vs Stacey Clemmon
Anne is one of our more bizarre competitors lately, she stalked Stacey while she was in hospital. Has Stacey gone totally insane? Her brothers think so! Anne throws a stapler at Clemmon & then rolls her up to the count of 2 & Clemmon then punches Anne & throws her into the corner & attempts a dropkick but Anne dodges & Stacey goes groin first into the ringpost & Anne slams her head into the canvas & kicks her head a few times!
Anne: "EH EH EH!"
Stacey Clemmon with a small package! 1...2... Kickout and Anne gets hit with knuckle dusters! That's got to be it right there... Kicked out at two! Clemmon throws Anne out of the ring & follows up with a beautiful dive! Anne recovers & throws Clemmon into the ringsteps, she has that stapler & she staples Stacey to the apron & is hitting her with a spanner multiple times! Cover 1...2...3! Anne retains! But Stacey's OK to walk to the back.
Match 2: Commonwealth Title: Gentleman Jim (c) vs Minecraft Steve
Oh look who's here... Coming to laugh at far superior wrestlers when they cock up...
Martin: "Haha, you botched a scoop slam!"
Jim: "At least I CAN perform one!"
Martin: "Don't care."
Jim then spots Steve trying to capitalise on the distraction & catches him with an uppercut. Jim looks annoyed, moreso than usual as he just takes apart poor Steve, see the only reason Steve is here tonight is because I had great odds on Jim keeping the title tonight, I win a grand if he does but that's beside the point tbh. Jim then locks in the gentleman stretch & Steve taps out.
Jim: "Listen, SWC fans might be stupid, but you Mervin insult their pitifully low intellect. I will be damned if I let you come anywhere near MY SHOW OR MY TITLE! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ARENA!"
Match 3: SWC World Championship: 6-Man Hell in a Cell: Adrian Smiley (c) vs Ramirez vs Johnny Triplearse vs Mumford vs Captain Carpentry vs John Clemmon Jr.
This is essentially the main event since the actual main event has been ruined. Wow it's an all out brawl John Clemmon Jr kicks Mumford in the head as Ramirez throws Johnny Triplearse through the cell door! Smiley cracks Captain Carpentry with a chair & turns his attention to Ramirez who just punches the chair out of his hand & nails a huge left hand, Ramirez literally throws Mumford THROUGH the cell wall, there's literally a hole in it as Triplearse & Clemmon are on the top of the cage, inside Smiley dives and knocks everyone down & Triplearse is about to powerbomb... HURRICANRANA BY CLEMMON, BOTH MEN ARE KO'D! They went through the commentary table didn't they? We just got that one! Smiley then hits a Smiley Splash from the second table onto Clemmon, no one can get there quick enough 1...2...3! Smiley retains in a brutal match!
Main Event: SWC World Title: Matt Hardy (c) vs George
Wow, I totally don't know how this one will go! *Puts £50 on George to win* So George isn't taking this seriously & is overselling every offence, Matt Hardy is laughing! It's a bit of a joke carrying on, we know the result now! Alright, wrap it up we got a party to go to. Matt Hardy sarcastically lays down as George overacts & crawls 'dramatically' toward Matt. Referee points & gives the thumbs up at the camera as he slowly counts 1...... 2......
Ref: "Matt, you know you can kick out at any point. We got some time to kill & let me tell you about how I became a referee... I started when I was 12 I got to wrestling school & I injured my knee, so I got a bit down hearted & left. So I took a job in ASDA & that's when I met this weird Italian-American guy talking to a box of Frosties, I asked him if he's ok & it turns out he was off the telly & I asked where from & he said SWC Wrestling, I was a big fan of course so I got his autograph & he invited me to "join his forum lol" but I didn't, I bought some tickets to the next SWC event, the stage manager saw me & thought this guy has to be a ref, so he trained me & now I can count to three in a rhythmic fashion & that's basically it."
George: "OK, but didn't the stage manager get a trial at QPR?"
Ref: "Nah, that's a lie. It was me, when I was about 7 I was a real good footballer so QPR picked me up for a weeks trial, Ian Holloway then plays me in a friendly, so I run past 3 defenders & BAM! Top corner! And out of nowhere, Ian comes out of nowhere & decks me! I was supposed to put the ball in the other goal, but the other team was infront of it! Way too difficult!"
Matt: "MATT HARDY!"
George: "Wow, I've had this cover on 2 for about 15 minutes, got anymore stories or should we count to three?"
Ref: "I think we'll count to three... NOW!"
George is the new SWC Champion in a legit unspoiled match. George celebrates but Referee has stolen the show.
The Ref, George & Matt Hardy are celebrating in the ring. The Ref is now telling them about the time he found a fiver at Romford train station. Match of the year?
