Post by Elder Gohan on Feb 7, 2017 16:10:49 GMT -5
We've finally made it to the USA! San Francisco to be exact, I tell ya if we have to walk up another bloody hill...
Todd Mortar pinned Luigi
Ronnie O'Sullivan pinned Youngster Joey to become number one contender to the Intercontinental Title
Ronnie: "Martin, you think you are going anywhere near that belt. Think again, because there is more substance in a snooker ball, than in you! If you get granted a title shot over me, I WILL walk out the company, that is a promise not a threat."
Joey: "Yeah, I'll head back to Johto if this piece of shit goes anywhere near the title."
That's at least 5 superstars that have threatened to quit, that dole queue is looking better with every passing "match"
Stacey Clemmon has lost her rematch against Anne.
Panda: *growls*
Anne: "EH EH EH!"
Panda: *does a forward roll*
Anne: *Sticks a middle finger up* "EH EH EH!"
Panda: *roars*
Anne: *Smashes a plant pot over Panda's head* "EH EH EH!"
Oh god. So I'm sat here in Jeremy Kyle's office...
Me: "You aren't seriously giving Martin a title shot are you?"
Jeremy: "He has positives, I'm sure..."
Me: "POSITIVES?!? HE STARTED A RI- *Off camera, Martin is holding something & smiling* *nervously* Oh yeah, he's erm... Great, sanction the match."
Jeremy: "Brilliant, also. I'm adding a rule to the match, if Mikey walks out... HE LOSES THE TITLE!"
Me: *Watching Martin holding the envelope* "Yeah... That's brilliant." *To myself* "I hope he hasn't got any secrets in there..."
AND THE MATCH IS NEXT~!
Mikey: "Guys... Ronnie O'Sullivan wins a contendership match & you give the WORST ANYTHING EVER a damn title match? Are you out of your tiny minds? Oh lets get this over with, why did they cancel Recess?..."
Sigh... Come on Mikey, at least humour him. Let the fat fuck have his fun & we can all forget this...
Martin nearly KO's Mikey with a mistimed punch & he lands on the bottom turnbuckle & Martin waddles toward him & slips on Mikey, nearly breaking Mikey's neck! Martin sloppily throws Mikey, but is lucky to land on his hip & Mikey goes outside the ring & grabs his title... He throws up the X sign & throws the title on the floor!
Mikey: "THAT'S IT! SWC... I QUIT! Stuff your title, he can have it! James May didn't give up 3 years for this..."
Well I guess we have a new Intercontinental Champion. Martin.
Main Event: Jake Jolson beat George.
George: "I warned you. I warned you all. But you didn't listen, 15 fans died that day & this is how they're repaid? As SWC Champion, I kinda wanna keep the belt... But I will not stand by & watch MY FANS & MY SHOW DIE! Because this mutant fatass who can't even do the basics can just walk up one day & now he's a CHAMPION! There are people who bust their ASS to put goddamn dollar store food on the table every night, those people who can't walk no more but they still bust their ass night after night & get nothing, but this fat bastard can literally botch his way to a title? No deal SWC & no mas, I've had enough. So, where does it leave us, beautiful fans? I'm leaving this company & I'm taking the title with me! Stick this up your ASS SWC!"
Well I guess I better have a chat, after I've been to the bookies...
George: "Hey Ed, don't bother. One, there's no bookies here. Two, I grew up near here so I can return to my old promotion & three, I ain't interested in a new contract."
Me: "I understand, between you & me, none of this is my decision. I'm being undermined when it comes to this guy, no one is listening to me..."
*Martin appears holding & pointing to an envelope*
Gotta go...
George: "Haven't you done enough damage?"
Martin: "I suppose you're wondering what is in here... I'll show you!" *Martin shows George the contents of the envelope*
George: "Whoa, if anyone finds out. Ed is surel... Wait, get outta here man. You've just managed to go LOWER in my estimation. Ed is a guy who stuck by me & I ain't gonna betray him. You better destroy that, before someone destroys YOU!"
Todd Mortar pinned Luigi
Ronnie O'Sullivan pinned Youngster Joey to become number one contender to the Intercontinental Title
Ronnie: "Martin, you think you are going anywhere near that belt. Think again, because there is more substance in a snooker ball, than in you! If you get granted a title shot over me, I WILL walk out the company, that is a promise not a threat."
Joey: "Yeah, I'll head back to Johto if this piece of shit goes anywhere near the title."
That's at least 5 superstars that have threatened to quit, that dole queue is looking better with every passing "match"
Stacey Clemmon has lost her rematch against Anne.
Panda: *growls*
Anne: "EH EH EH!"
Panda: *does a forward roll*
Anne: *Sticks a middle finger up* "EH EH EH!"
Panda: *roars*
Anne: *Smashes a plant pot over Panda's head* "EH EH EH!"
Oh god. So I'm sat here in Jeremy Kyle's office...
Me: "You aren't seriously giving Martin a title shot are you?"
Jeremy: "He has positives, I'm sure..."
Me: "POSITIVES?!? HE STARTED A RI- *Off camera, Martin is holding something & smiling* *nervously* Oh yeah, he's erm... Great, sanction the match."
Jeremy: "Brilliant, also. I'm adding a rule to the match, if Mikey walks out... HE LOSES THE TITLE!"
Me: *Watching Martin holding the envelope* "Yeah... That's brilliant." *To myself* "I hope he hasn't got any secrets in there..."
AND THE MATCH IS NEXT~!
Mikey: "Guys... Ronnie O'Sullivan wins a contendership match & you give the WORST ANYTHING EVER a damn title match? Are you out of your tiny minds? Oh lets get this over with, why did they cancel Recess?..."
Sigh... Come on Mikey, at least humour him. Let the fat fuck have his fun & we can all forget this...
Martin nearly KO's Mikey with a mistimed punch & he lands on the bottom turnbuckle & Martin waddles toward him & slips on Mikey, nearly breaking Mikey's neck! Martin sloppily throws Mikey, but is lucky to land on his hip & Mikey goes outside the ring & grabs his title... He throws up the X sign & throws the title on the floor!
Mikey: "THAT'S IT! SWC... I QUIT! Stuff your title, he can have it! James May didn't give up 3 years for this..."
Well I guess we have a new Intercontinental Champion. Martin.
Main Event: Jake Jolson beat George.
George: "I warned you. I warned you all. But you didn't listen, 15 fans died that day & this is how they're repaid? As SWC Champion, I kinda wanna keep the belt... But I will not stand by & watch MY FANS & MY SHOW DIE! Because this mutant fatass who can't even do the basics can just walk up one day & now he's a CHAMPION! There are people who bust their ASS to put goddamn dollar store food on the table every night, those people who can't walk no more but they still bust their ass night after night & get nothing, but this fat bastard can literally botch his way to a title? No deal SWC & no mas, I've had enough. So, where does it leave us, beautiful fans? I'm leaving this company & I'm taking the title with me! Stick this up your ASS SWC!"
Well I guess I better have a chat, after I've been to the bookies...
George: "Hey Ed, don't bother. One, there's no bookies here. Two, I grew up near here so I can return to my old promotion & three, I ain't interested in a new contract."
Me: "I understand, between you & me, none of this is my decision. I'm being undermined when it comes to this guy, no one is listening to me..."
*Martin appears holding & pointing to an envelope*
Gotta go...
George: "Haven't you done enough damage?"
Martin: "I suppose you're wondering what is in here... I'll show you!" *Martin shows George the contents of the envelope*
George: "Whoa, if anyone finds out. Ed is surel... Wait, get outta here man. You've just managed to go LOWER in my estimation. Ed is a guy who stuck by me & I ain't gonna betray him. You better destroy that, before someone destroys YOU!"
