Post by Elder Gohan on Mar 31, 2017 13:16:16 GMT -5
WELCOME TO FLUCK-THE-CLUCKAMANIA! THE ULTIMATE EVENT IN THE SWC CALENDAR & IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD ONE, WE ARE ALL READY TO GO & WE'RE BROADCASTING LIVE WORLDWIDE HERE AT WEMBLEY STADIUM!
*Please rise for the national anthem*
*God save the queen belted out*
I thought he was banned?!? This ain't fair...
Martin: "YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD STOP ME?!? YOU ARE WRONG! You are looking at SWC's hottest superstar & the future of the wrestling industry! I demand anyone to take me on right now, I'll win!"
Martin: "You morons are so damn gullible, HBK can't even hold a candle to me! Now can the REAL guy step ou..."
*GONG*
Is it? IT IS! THE DEADMAN IS HERE! THE UNDERTAKER! MARTIN HAS LITERALLY SHAT HIMSELF!
Taker is just standing there while Martin nervously offers him a handshake... Taker grabs his throat instead and CHOKESLAM! Sod the streak, the titles & all that, I will love The Undertaker forever just for that!
Womens Championship: Anne (c) vs Stacey Clemmon
Anne makes her entrance with 30 other "Annes," while...
Stacey Clemmon liked my 80's woman look so much she nicked it! Not fair, she ACTUALLY is a woman! I did it better tbh. Anne starts off by shoving Stacey into the corner & licking her, Clemmon elbows Anne & they standoff eachother but Clemmon then uses a drop toehold & locks in a boston crab, but Anne counters into a rollup with a count of 2. Clemmon now rolls up Anne, I honestly can't tell if Stacey's hair is real or a wig but I did it better, Clemmon then hits a modified version of her brother's finisher, the OMEGA DRIVER! 1..2..3!
Stacey Clemmon wins the Womens Title on the biggest day of SWC's year!
We now welcome Iggy Azalea as she performs her 25 minute set. That arse tho'
Commonwealth Championship: Gentleman Jim (c) vs Gun Jack
Gun Jack enters on a Soviet tank to the USSR national anthem, while Jim is carried on a throne.
So they start out with knife edge chops, before Jack throws Jim into the corner & hits a running squash, Jim immediately counters with a side slam, but then Jim locks in a facelock but realises that Jack is a sodding robot & has no lungs, so Jack locks in a sleeper of his own until Jim wriggles free & dropkicks Jack three times knocking him down! So Jack roars at the same as Jim & they both trade vicious punches, swinging & thunderous blows I swear that broke Jim's nose! Jack then dodges one & locks in a bear hug! Jim nearly passes out! But headbutts Jack & charges to the corner & lifts Jack onto the turnbuckle... Jack elbows & shoves Jim off, DIVE BOMBER! 1...2... KICKOUT, Jack looks shocked! Jim uses this confusion to roll up Jack 1...2...3! Jim retains the title!
*SWC Merch plug*
WANK BANK match: Gordon Ramsay vs Dimmickdust vs Rey vs Exeggutor vs Youngster Joey vs Todd Mortar
Wait, Rey's in this match? Oh bloody hell, just hope he doesn't win. Rey immediately gets knocked out cold by Exeggutor, it's an all out brawl for a minute or two until Todd Mortar gets a ladder and attempts to climb up it & gets pulled down and dropkicked by Dimmickdust, who gets clotheslined out of the ring as Joey knocks the ladder against the ropes & runs Shelton Benjamin style & flies into Dimmickdust! Gordon Ramsay & Exeggutor then brawl in the ring until Exeggutor props up a ladder & begins climbing... But Ramsay hits Exeggutor with a frying pan & cooks an omelette with an egg that fell. In response the KO'd Exeggutor uses Psychic & it blinds everyone... EXCEPT REY WHO WAS WEARING SUNGLASSES! HE ASCENDS THE LADDER & HE'S GOT 2 FOOT TO GO... I don't fucking believe it... Rey has won the WANK BANK match! Rey has a free world title shot, let that sink in.
Before we go to a main event, let us go live to Tom Jones live! Everybody sing... "WHY WHY WHY DELILAH!"
Main event: SWC World Heavyweight Championship: Mumford (c) vs Captain Carpentry
Mumford gets chauffeured in a limo...
*On the titantron: "In life we have celebrated many men, we have also celebrated demigods. Gilgamesh, Hanuman, Hercules & Perseus. Tonight, another demigod joins the pantheon. Arise CAPTAIN CARPENTRY!"*
Mumford: "I hope you brought your all. You're gonna need it, 'Captain.'"
Captain responds with a slap to the jaw & Mumford responds by locking up & a hip toss, before locking in a chin lock & sticking two fingers up at the crowd, but Captain counters with a suplex, followed by a clothesline & a big boot. Mumford utilises an unseen eye poke & throws the Captain into the ringpost shoulder first... TIGER BOMB! Mumford covers 1...2... Kickout! The streak nearly ended there, Mumford then chokes the Captain in the corner until the Captain elbows Mumford & hits a spinebuster & a knee to the head! That looked painful, both men winded after 25 minute of non-stop action. REBATE POWERBOMB! 1...2... KICKOUT!
Mumford: "It seems we are evenly matched. But I WILL end your streak, 'hero'"
Captain: "Try it. I'm gonna walk out champion & you know it!"
Mumford lunges at the Captain & they trade blows until Mumford knees the Captain in the gut, whips him to the corner & oh no... It looks like a SUPER TIGER BOMB! Mumford stands triumphanly, he's bleeding but he hasn't won yet! Cover him! 1...2...KICKOUT! Captain Carpentry is being positioned for another tiger bomb... COUNTER INTO A REBATE POWERBOMB 1...2...3!
WE HAVE A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION & THE STREAK CONTINUES! CAPTAIN CARPENTRY GOES 6-0 AT FLUCK-THE-CLUCKAMANIA & GOOD GOD DID HE RUN THAT CLOSE!
Mumford: "Good job, you beat me... Don't get too comfortable, I will take it back."
What a sore loser.
GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!
*Please rise for the national anthem*
*God save the queen belted out*
I thought he was banned?!? This ain't fair...
Martin: "YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD STOP ME?!? YOU ARE WRONG! You are looking at SWC's hottest superstar & the future of the wrestling industry! I demand anyone to take me on right now, I'll win!"
Martin: "You morons are so damn gullible, HBK can't even hold a candle to me! Now can the REAL guy step ou..."
*GONG*
Is it? IT IS! THE DEADMAN IS HERE! THE UNDERTAKER! MARTIN HAS LITERALLY SHAT HIMSELF!
Taker is just standing there while Martin nervously offers him a handshake... Taker grabs his throat instead and CHOKESLAM! Sod the streak, the titles & all that, I will love The Undertaker forever just for that!
Womens Championship: Anne (c) vs Stacey Clemmon
Anne makes her entrance with 30 other "Annes," while...
Stacey Clemmon liked my 80's woman look so much she nicked it! Not fair, she ACTUALLY is a woman! I did it better tbh. Anne starts off by shoving Stacey into the corner & licking her, Clemmon elbows Anne & they standoff eachother but Clemmon then uses a drop toehold & locks in a boston crab, but Anne counters into a rollup with a count of 2. Clemmon now rolls up Anne, I honestly can't tell if Stacey's hair is real or a wig but I did it better, Clemmon then hits a modified version of her brother's finisher, the OMEGA DRIVER! 1..2..3!
Stacey Clemmon wins the Womens Title on the biggest day of SWC's year!
We now welcome Iggy Azalea as she performs her 25 minute set. That arse tho'
Commonwealth Championship: Gentleman Jim (c) vs Gun Jack
Gun Jack enters on a Soviet tank to the USSR national anthem, while Jim is carried on a throne.
So they start out with knife edge chops, before Jack throws Jim into the corner & hits a running squash, Jim immediately counters with a side slam, but then Jim locks in a facelock but realises that Jack is a sodding robot & has no lungs, so Jack locks in a sleeper of his own until Jim wriggles free & dropkicks Jack three times knocking him down! So Jack roars at the same as Jim & they both trade vicious punches, swinging & thunderous blows I swear that broke Jim's nose! Jack then dodges one & locks in a bear hug! Jim nearly passes out! But headbutts Jack & charges to the corner & lifts Jack onto the turnbuckle... Jack elbows & shoves Jim off, DIVE BOMBER! 1...2... KICKOUT, Jack looks shocked! Jim uses this confusion to roll up Jack 1...2...3! Jim retains the title!
*SWC Merch plug*
WANK BANK match: Gordon Ramsay vs Dimmickdust vs Rey vs Exeggutor vs Youngster Joey vs Todd Mortar
Wait, Rey's in this match? Oh bloody hell, just hope he doesn't win. Rey immediately gets knocked out cold by Exeggutor, it's an all out brawl for a minute or two until Todd Mortar gets a ladder and attempts to climb up it & gets pulled down and dropkicked by Dimmickdust, who gets clotheslined out of the ring as Joey knocks the ladder against the ropes & runs Shelton Benjamin style & flies into Dimmickdust! Gordon Ramsay & Exeggutor then brawl in the ring until Exeggutor props up a ladder & begins climbing... But Ramsay hits Exeggutor with a frying pan & cooks an omelette with an egg that fell. In response the KO'd Exeggutor uses Psychic & it blinds everyone... EXCEPT REY WHO WAS WEARING SUNGLASSES! HE ASCENDS THE LADDER & HE'S GOT 2 FOOT TO GO... I don't fucking believe it... Rey has won the WANK BANK match! Rey has a free world title shot, let that sink in.
Before we go to a main event, let us go live to Tom Jones live! Everybody sing... "WHY WHY WHY DELILAH!"
Main event: SWC World Heavyweight Championship: Mumford (c) vs Captain Carpentry
Mumford gets chauffeured in a limo...
*On the titantron: "In life we have celebrated many men, we have also celebrated demigods. Gilgamesh, Hanuman, Hercules & Perseus. Tonight, another demigod joins the pantheon. Arise CAPTAIN CARPENTRY!"*
Mumford: "I hope you brought your all. You're gonna need it, 'Captain.'"
Captain responds with a slap to the jaw & Mumford responds by locking up & a hip toss, before locking in a chin lock & sticking two fingers up at the crowd, but Captain counters with a suplex, followed by a clothesline & a big boot. Mumford utilises an unseen eye poke & throws the Captain into the ringpost shoulder first... TIGER BOMB! Mumford covers 1...2... Kickout! The streak nearly ended there, Mumford then chokes the Captain in the corner until the Captain elbows Mumford & hits a spinebuster & a knee to the head! That looked painful, both men winded after 25 minute of non-stop action. REBATE POWERBOMB! 1...2... KICKOUT!
Mumford: "It seems we are evenly matched. But I WILL end your streak, 'hero'"
Captain: "Try it. I'm gonna walk out champion & you know it!"
Mumford lunges at the Captain & they trade blows until Mumford knees the Captain in the gut, whips him to the corner & oh no... It looks like a SUPER TIGER BOMB! Mumford stands triumphanly, he's bleeding but he hasn't won yet! Cover him! 1...2...KICKOUT! Captain Carpentry is being positioned for another tiger bomb... COUNTER INTO A REBATE POWERBOMB 1...2...3!
WE HAVE A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION & THE STREAK CONTINUES! CAPTAIN CARPENTRY GOES 6-0 AT FLUCK-THE-CLUCKAMANIA & GOOD GOD DID HE RUN THAT CLOSE!
Mumford: "Good job, you beat me... Don't get too comfortable, I will take it back."
What a sore loser.
GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!
