Yeah!
Alan: "Already?"
Ralph: "Amazing."
Alan: "Bloody hell woman, how many times are you gonna evolve?"
Carol: "Now that I am fully evolved, I'm not gonna let any of you get hurt. You're all like my children!"
Ralph: "Thank you"
Alan: "I don't need protecting, all I need is a kebab, a pint & maybe a fag."
Carol: "That's bad for you dear..."
Metalfuck Forest.
Ralph: "You mean Petalburg Forest?"
Alan: "I think he was right the first time mate."
Everyone be careful. Many Petalburg citizens like to lurk around here, sometimes they like to jump people & start fights with Rustboro residents.
Right we're in, here goes nothing!
Ooh, a new recruit!
Carol: "I'll take over!"
Step aside Carol *throws poke ball & *click**
Rattata: "Hey boys!"
Ralph: "Huh, um I'm uhh... RALPH!
Alan: "What's the matter Ralphie, can't talk to girls?
Carol: "ALAN! Don't tease Ralph."
Alan: "I'm Sorry, anyway. What's your name, slutface?"
Rattata: *Scratches Alan* "OI, my name is Nikki. NOT SLUTFACE, NEXT TIME I'LL CHEW YOUR TAIL OFF!"
Alan: "Touchy!"
Guy: "Damn, no mushrooms... I gotta get high!"
'Scuse me mate, which way to Rustboro?
Carol: "Help us please!"
Guy: "I like mushrooms, but I wanna Shroomish. They get you high!"
O...K?
: "Oh for fuck sake, I was gonna jump you but you do & half talk! Imagine being me for a second, you know waiting in a bush for half an hour with a Paras nibbling at your arse!"
Alan: "..."
Carol: "Nasty"
Ralph: "Petalburg's winner of weirdo of the year is..."
Nikki: "EW!"
I've left Petalburg for 5 minutes & there are still WEIRDOS everywhere!
Oh dear, you want papers?
Ralph: "You sat in a bush for 30 minutes, just to rob papers?"
Nikki: "CREEP!"
Alan: "I'm in desperate need of a pint, lads!"
S'pose we have to.
Ralph: "We cannot let you do this."
Nikki: "YEAH! You meanie!"
Alan: "Back the fuck away!"
Carol: "Don't hurt yourselves, be careful!"
He was easy, wha... A bloody great ball?
Ralph: "Hardly a reward."
Nikki: "You're joking?"
Alan: "We should have snuck past & let that guy sit in the bushes for hours."
Ooh, a double battle. Anyone had a double battle before?
Everyone: "Nope"
Then, hmm lets see... Alan, you're the hardest here & you need a drink so you'll battle!
Alan: "Yes, I'll earn the beer money!"
Right, and Nikki you as well. You need battle time.
Alan: "So when we kick these sorry cunts heads in, d'ya fancy a drink babe?"
Nikki: "In your dreams mate."
Alan: "Frequently."
Alan: "Right, we're stopping for a rest. Pub first, what's everyone having? I'll have a pint."
Ralph: "Umm, I'll have a glass of your finest red wine barkeep."
Umm I don't drink so I'll have a sprite
Nikki: "JD & Coke please"
Carol: "Tap Water."
*2 hours later*
Alan: "...Fuckin' ell I need a... Kebab."
Ralph: "I could eat *hic*
Nikki: "hehehe I'm hungry too!"
Carol: "I could eat as well."
Meanwhile at Rustboro Grill...
Alan: "...I'll have a large doner & chips & cheese... with curry sauce."
Ralph: "Umm... I'll have a *hic* Chicken burger & small portion of chips"
Nikki: "I'm hehehe, have a salad."
Carol: "I'm a vegetarian. I'll also have a salad."
I'll have a medium doner & chips, no onions.
*1 hour later*
Alan: "...Ed, we're gonna have to go to the pokemon centre... I'm gonna... ZZZ!"
He's asleep, anyone got a marker pen? Sweet *Draws cocks on Alan*
Wait till he sees this!
Onto route whatever!
Look what we caught!
Spearow: "You don't own me, I am a strong independent woman. We are NOT the fairer sex! Release me, foul man!"
Righto Doris!
Alan: "HAHAHAHAHA!"
Nikki: "Hi!"
Doris: "Does it not bother you that you're on a team full of men? Especially that foul Meowth?"
Alan: "How about I bite your head off, present you to Ed & if he doesn't want a dead Spearow, I can just shove you in a bin?!?"
Doris: "Nikki & Carol, you two can be better. Disown these MEN!"
Nikki: "But they're my team mates, Alan might be a pig, but at the end of the day he's part of this team. As am I!"
Carol: "You've disrupted the harmony of the team. Alan, Ralph & Nikki need a mother, I can fill that role, I'm not gonna abandon my babies."
Doris: "Fine, you two are weak. Like men."
We'll see
Ralph: "Hmm, I see you mouthed off a bit too soon."
Alan: "What a load of bollocks, now time to stuff you in a bin..."
Nikki: "Even I didn't like you."
Carol: "You see, not everyone agreed with you Doris... And now you died, you still don't regret anything you said..."
Doris: "Fuck you all!... You two are traitors to... Your gender... Alan... Fuck you!"
Well, looking back she did fight for her beliefs...
Ralph: "But she did it the wrong way, however she was strong willed & could've been a team player."
Alan: "Well, who wants Spearow kebab!"
Carol: "May Doris rest, she didn't live a long life. But she knew how to stand up for her beliefs, some people aren't born like this, to Doris it came naturally."
Nikki: "I wanna say something wise! She was... Strong, but she was not kind."
Well here we are... First gym. Ralph, go nuts!
Ralph: "It would be an honour, sir!"
EASY!
Brilliant.
Carol: "Well done!"
Alan: "Tougher already?"
Carol: "Aww, you're growing up!"
Nikki: "Oooh, hello!"
Not again...
Ralph: "Is he related to Professor Bitch?"
Alan: "Hahaha, Professor Bitch!"
You do know these guys are pussies?
Alan: "Get a bloody pokemon!"
Umm, blue bandana, 5 foot, likes hiding & might like One Direction?
Old man: "Yes! That's him!"
Nidoran: "Catch me."
Ok *pokeball & click*
Nidoran: "I'm Dave"
Lets have a look.
Dave: "Yeah, I hope I can help you. I also hope to make friends!"
Ralph: "I like him"
Dave: "I'll have to sit this one out."
Alan: "Poof!"
Carol: "Alan... He's underleveled."
Wut?
Ok, does Petalburg have a police force or something?
Nikki: "You are one creepy guy!"
Next time keep important items out of sight, or someone will have to keep rescuing you.
Alan: "You cunt."
Ralph: "We could have been more handsomely rewarded."
Uh huh. You have no connection to Petalburg do you?
President: "Other than the guy you bumped into, no I don't."
President: "I'd like you to journey across the sea with a complete stranger on the world's smallest boat, just to do something I could've got the tea lady to do..."
...Fuck sake.
Ralph: "We will"
Alan: "There better be a pub"
Alan: "Can you watch porn on it?"
Nikki: "Gross!"
Dad:
"Right, son. Just so you know, the police have caught me. All I was doing was going to put a bet on England and an armed robbery took place! The police got there & instead of arresting the robbers, they arrested me!"Ralph: "Petalburg City..."
Alan: "Only in Petalburg City can you be arrested for putting a bet on during a robbery & no one gets hurt..."
The whole place is a headfuck.
: "Oh for fuck sake, I was gonna jump you but you do & half talk! Imagine being me for a second, you know waiting in a bush for half an hour with a Paras nibbling at your arse!"