DJ
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Post by DJ on Jul 19, 2012 18:41:05 GMT -5
Gotta thank the Chuckle Brothers for throwing metalfuck in before he even got started.
How the FACK did Spells win that sumo match? Lawl.
Elimination shall be interesting. Everyone pretty much brings something to the table (other than metalfuck, though you could argue he brings lols to the yard.)
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 20, 2012 4:39:21 GMT -5
It took ages to type out, I loved the sumo rings part though
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DJ
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Post by DJ on Jul 20, 2012 19:54:51 GMT -5
It took ages to read too, so I can imagine it took awhile to write.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 21, 2012 3:47:12 GMT -5
Metalgod got hit in the bollocks
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 21, 2012 5:59:49 GMT -5
Shit, I forgot about the elimination. In first place this week... Mumford! Following him in second place is Trevor Rent! Getting bronze this week... Spells! Mr average this week Youngster Joey, could've done better... Jake Jolson & disappointing, Masked Potato!
This means that, Todd Mortar & Metalgod. You two will face elimination, decided this week by the pro's. James Bond, you are first up.
Bond: "I don't know where to start, be it Metalgod's lack of actual skill or Todd's poor attitude. Either way, the rookie that does survive will need to pull your finger out. I vote Mortar, I've had it with his attitude."
Captain: "I fully echo the statements said by Mr Bond, however it did seem a bit harsh on Metalgod who tried during the last challenge. Todd... If you will, please do change your attitude as you can become an SWC superstar IF you try. Metalgod I'm sorry, but you're my vote"
Osama: "Mortar, your attitude stinks but Metalgod's performance was almost as bad. I vote Metalgod because he is a PIG!"
Barry: "Ello! I'm sorry but you two just didn't make the grade in my view. You both need to do better, especially you Todd Mortar, stop acting like you are SWC champion already because you weren't that good in the challenge. Mortar, me & Paul have had a chat & yer goin home."
Halfway through the vote & it's 2 votes each.
Snape: It appears that you two have incurred the wrath of us teachers. I fear that if I vote one of you out, you will eventually end up in our presence. I, Severus Snape hereby vote Mr Mortar off. If either of you two survive tonights vote, I do NOT want to see either of you in an elimination decider again."
Homer: "Can I vote off my own rookie? Mine sucks. Changed my mind, Mortar you're a jerk. Go home!"
George: "Clearly, the moron before me doesn't know ANYTHING about being a pro, I'll kick Metalgod out because he has NO style."
*Spence was replaced by Gabe Logan*
Logan: "This is the deciding vote, Mortar to go home or it goes to rock paper scissors. Hmm, I've had a thought Metalgod, your performance was absolutely horrendous. If you had my previous Agency job, you'd have been killed by now. Mortar, skills wise you are better than Metalgod but... Your attitude is the worst I have EVER seen. And that is my vote... Todd Mortar, pack your bags... YOU ARE GOING.... HOME!"
That's it for Todd Mortar! The second favourite is gone already!
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DJ
Administration
Posts: 9,670
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Post by DJ on Jul 21, 2012 19:25:37 GMT -5
God damn Homer, should of picked metalfuck!
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 22, 2012 4:09:46 GMT -5
Can't believe Metalgod survived!
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DJ
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Post by DJ on Jul 22, 2012 15:44:25 GMT -5
I expected it. SWC knows people hate metalfuck and want too see him get his ass beat every chance possible.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 22, 2012 16:15:42 GMT -5
Then there's the chance he'd get to the final 2, even worse... WIN THE WHOLE THING!
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DJ
Administration
Posts: 9,670
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Post by DJ on Jul 22, 2012 17:18:47 GMT -5
Wouldn't surprise me. SWC is a buisness. Metalfuck almost winning the title and then getting beat up made them some money.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 23, 2012 3:43:28 GMT -5
As long as I get my raise
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DJ
Administration
Posts: 9,670
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Post by DJ on Jul 23, 2012 6:30:48 GMT -5
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 23, 2012 6:54:19 GMT -5
LOL I forgot about Peter Griffin. He might make an appearance at tonight's supershow
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DJ
Administration
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Post by DJ on Jul 23, 2012 6:58:18 GMT -5
LOL I forgot about Peter Griffin. He might make an appearance at tonight's supershow That crawl in the gif should be his finishing move. |
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 29, 2012 12:30:50 GMT -5
Report of yesterdays challenge + todays elimination.
Keeping in theme with the olympics, this weeks challenge is olympic related. Each of the 7 superstars will be given a sport, not of their personal preference.
First up will be Spells, who is competing against 2 SWC trainers in the ROWING! Spells is dreading this as, like any cat hates water. Spells gets in the boat & 3.2.1 GO! I can't see shit as I'm stuck at the finishing line, look at my little polo & shorts combo, amazing isn't it? Holy shit I see boats, I see boats! Spells storms into a lead, nearly there but he's beaten by an inch. Don't worry Spells, you'll do better next time.
Second is Trevor Rent in the 100m sprint. I know for a fact that if it's one person who hates running, it's Trevor Rent. On the starting line he is, fag in hand smoking it before the race. There's the starting pistol & Rent sprints for about 10-15m and slowly winds down to take a swig of Jack Daniels, before carrying on the race, he overtakes 3 SWC trainers before finishing 5th.
Third it's Youngster Joey in the Olympic Equestrian Event or Horse Racing. Joey does not like horses, he has to get his horse as possible & to basically do gymnastics... With a horse. Oh what a poised performance! Oh no the horse has been spooked! Joey fell off & he's ran! Not a good performance from Joey.
Number four will be The Masked Potato in the 100m Swimming Freestyle! The Masked Potato is scared of water, which means he has to get in & win to even have a chance of surviving the elimination. GO! Masked Potato get's in the water & he swims screaming! he is panicking like no tomorrow, but he came third!
Fifth it's Jake Jolson in the Fencing! He will show no mercy, but this is a sport for the posh. If Jolson wins this, he will be the first to get the gold. Oh yeah forgot to mention, if you get a gold medal, you get immunity for this week. Jolson as always, on the offensive oh, he nearly kills his opponent. YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO TAP HIM WITH THE RAPIER NOT GO THROUGH HIM, Jolson gets silver anyway.
Sixth is Mumford in the Table tennis (yes, it's an olympic sport!) Mumford is going back & forth against the Mersea Island ping pong champion. Mumford with a superb save, with a return & the champion loses patience 15-0 Mumford. Mumford serves & scores from the serve! 30-0 Mumford. Mumford needs two more, he flashed the audience, that lapse in concentration means the champion gets on the score board! 30-15 Mumford. More table tennis action & nudity meaning the game is level! 45 each... Champion to serve first, Mumford with the return in the worlds slowest game of Table Tennis & Mumford serves with a pelvic thrust & WINS THE GAME, SET & MATCH! Mumford has won a gold medal & immunity this week.
Last up is Metalgod in the rhythmic gymnastics. Oh my god, Metalgod in a leotard! LMAO... don't turn round, it goes right up his arse, Begin. Metalfuck is just running around occasionally jumping out of tune with the music, he tries to flip & lands on his head and rolls onto his arse, he fetches a gymnastic ball & what looks like he is humping it & rolls over it accidentally & again lands on his head! The judges have given their verdict... Judge 1: "I think you should work at McDonalds." Judge 2: "..." Judge 3: "Your Blue Peter badge is in the post!"
That concludes today's event at Harlow sports centre. The worst 3 will report to the pro's for their decision to send home. Metalgod, Masked Potato & Trevor Rent.
*In the SWC Training room*
Voice: Metalgod, Masked Potato & Trevor Rent. Step forward
Bond: "Metalgod, you are here tonight again. Like last week, I will not tolerate this. Masked Potato, I know you have a phobia of water but you must do better. Trevor, you need to be in better condition. Give up the drink & drugs, my vote this week will be for Metalgod."
Captain: "I simply do not know where to start. Metalgod, you have tried but alas it's not good enough. Masked Potato, like 007 I understand your fear of water, but you must conduct yourself with dignity whatever the scenario. As for you Trevor Rent, my own pro I am appalled at you. Your lack of athletic ability coupled with the fact that you SMOKED a cigarette & consumed alcohol during a test of your ability will NOT go unpunished. However, I cannot vote off my own pro & Metalgod tried. So, I am sorry but Masked Potato, I am hereby voting you off."
Osama: "Masked Potato, it's only WATER! Imagine being burnt in acid for fuck sake. Trevor Rent, I have seen dead people more athletic than you & I'm not even going there... Get lost Masked Potato!"
Paul: "Let me speak Barry, you did it last time. O my, Masked Potato you have it all, you may not have to be in water in an arena. But you MUST not be scared of ANYTHING, ok? Trevor Rent. We are both nearly 70 & can still go! If you keep up the smoking & drinking, you'll have a tough time REACHING 70, please we urge you. Leave it all behind. Metalgod, I know you're trying but try that little bit more, it could make the difference. Look at the time, me & Barry have 'ad a word & Trevor, me & Barry are voting you off so you can go to rehab."
Snape: "My warnings have gone unheeded. Metalgod, you need to reassess your career choice, perhaps sanitation work? Trevor Rent. Do you actually think you can make it with that lack of physical condition? Masked Potato, conducting yourself in that manner is to put it simply, is disgraceful. My vote this week goes to Trevor Rent."
Homer: "You three sucked this week, I'm a complete fatass & I can run 100m WITHOUT drinking or smoking. Masked Potato, What the hell do you think you're doing? Yelling like that in the damn water?!? No comment on my own rookie, I vote Masked Potato."
George: "You bastards voted off my pro last week. However, Trevor Rent. Lift your shirt, just as I thought man gut & hairy, condition yourself better & for god sake learn fashion. Masked Potato, we all have fears, except me because I am FABULOUS! What the actual fuck Metalgod, a leotard? Humping a gym ball? You thought that looked good? I... I'm gonn... I a... I'm sorry I'm completely speechless. But... You are safe for a week, Trevor you unathletic unstylish piece of trash! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, Thank heavens you aren't my pro.
Logan: "I'm a man of few words, I prefer action. Trevor Rent, when I worked for that Agency & I showed up in that condition, do you think... No, do you think ANYONE would hire me? Habits are hard to kick, but Captain Carpentry can help you kick them if you let him. Masked Potato, tell me... Have you killed a guy who came at you in FULL BODY ARMOUR, armed with an automatic shotgun, survived an ambush in Kabul or managed to eradicate any terrorist plots? You haven't, so what's a bit of water? Metalgod, I have never been more confused, how did you get into the final eight? Why the leotard? Why hump a gym ball? How are you here? But I have to cast the deciding vote... Metalgod get outta here, you were safe 2 votes ago. Trevor Rent... Masked Potato. I believe that Trevor, your problem is fixable... But Potato, you reacted poorly under pressure, everyone has fears but you need to react better than that, you know there is more of a chance of dying in an SWC ring? Especially when you wrestle Metalgod, and because of that, I'm sorry, pack your bags you're eliminated."
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