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Post by Elder Gohan on Mar 4, 2017 13:50:07 GMT -5
*Dated 26/02/17*
Welcome to SWC LOCKDOWN! The last stop before Fluck-The-Cluckamania! SWC World Champion Adrian Smiley defends his title against Mumford, as well as a Commonwealth Championship match!
Match 1: Intercontinental Championship: Ronnie O'Sullivan (c) vs Martin
There's a cage being lowered, oh god. I hope Martin hasn't got that sack, there's nothing in there honestly... Martin attempts to climb the cage but he's out of breath already, Ronnie's just standing there watching him struggle, he then decides to throw snooker balls at Martin who falls & breaks the refs leg. Bloody hell, that's like having a Ford Transit landing on your leg! Ronnie kicks the cage door & legs it out of the cage & retains the title.
Martin: "Oh Mr Ed... I heard your little remark, now remember what I said? ONE more remark & I empty my sack!"
NOOOO! Wait, what?!?
Martin: "HAHAHA! I'm so funny, but let's get down to business... About 3 months ago, SWC did a house show at the Circus Tavern..."
Oh boy...
Martin: "I've got you now! There's a certain 'club' you visited & HERE IS THE EVIDENCE!"
*Martin reveals the secret!*
Was that it? Months of having near heart attacks & you have a photo of me & a Cambodian stripper?
Martin: "Aren't you embarrassed?"
She was a stunner! Oh wait, you've never had a girlfriend have you?
Martin: "Don't like girls."
Match 2: Commonwealth Championship: Gentleman Jim (c) vs Gun Jack
Well I hope this match is better than the last. Gun Jack starts of with a clothesline, Jim trades one back & both men stare each other down. Jim then pins Jack into the corner & starts punching him but Jack shoves him away, Jim tries it again but gets shoved away again! Jim looks shocked as he's never been pushed away like this before, he's used to battering people and making them tap out. Jack then slams Jim & splashes him... OH MY GOD JIM TRIES TO LIFT JACK! But he's too heavy so resorts to a bearhug instead, Jack then counters with a bearhug of his own! They then trade bearhugs until Jack powerbombs Jim & DIVE BOMBER! 1.2.3!
WE HAVE A NEW COMMONWEALTH CHAMPION!
Main Event: SWC World Heavyweight Championship: Adrian Smiley (c) vs Mumford.
This match is now a Hell in a Cell match! Smiley starts off with a hurricanrana to the outside, sending Mumford crashing to the outside. Smiley then goes back to the ring & dives but ends up hitting the cage, Mumford then slams Smiley's face into the cell and does it again! Mumford then mounts Smiley & punches him so many times, Smiley has been busted open but then kicks Mumford in the bollocks & slings Smiley into the cage. Smiley then grabs a chair & wails Mumford twice & moves the ringsteps & snapmares Mumford as well as throwing his neck back, he climbs the turnbuckle... SMILEY SPLASH! 1....2..... MUMFORD KICKS OUT! Both men down!
They both stagger about a bit but Mumford with a low blow himself, Mumford then swings a sledgehammer into Smiley's balls! He then moves the ringsteps into the ring... Positions Smiley & nails a TIGERBOMB onto the ringsteps! 1...2....3!
Mumford wins the title in a brutal match! He said he was gonna win the big one & HE DID!
Well that's that then.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Feb 25, 2017 16:25:37 GMT -5
What the hell happened to Rey?!? He's got a pidgeon on his head! My theory is he's gone mad without SWC (the forum) to keep him somewhat sane. Definitely something "cult leadery" about him, or he looks like the type of guy who gets been caught buying porn mags tbh
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Post by Elder Gohan on Feb 25, 2017 16:23:33 GMT -5
Welcome to San Marino! That tiny country known for being utter dog shit at football.
Dimmickdust pinned Austin Powers
Dimmickdust: "HARK SQUIRE DIMMICKDUST! I AM A APPLE FLAVOURED COSMIC FORCE & I WILL MAKE SWC ALL SEXY AND APPLEY OVER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS!"
Rey: hay i hav dis apple n i hav a stanny blade lol
Dimmickdust: *Speechless* "...YOU! PUT THE BLADE DOWN! NOBODY HAS TO GET HURT!"
Rey: shit i stab da apple lol
Dimmickdust: "MURDERER! NOW I SHALL MAKE YOU PAY, GOAT MAN!"
Dimmickdust batters Rey.
Gun Jack pinned Mario
Gentleman Jim pinned John Clemmon Jr.
Jim: "Finally I get a challenge. 7 feet tall, 500 pounds of steel. Should be better than mauling a Belgian midget or clotheslining a man-goat hybrid close to death."
Gun Jack plants a bomb in the ring & blows it up!
THE RING~! THE SODDING RING~! IT COST £5,000~!
Ronald McDonald pinned Adrian Smiley.
Mumford: "Smiley, you little punk. I owe you a beating & I promise, I will deliver such a beating on Sunday. I WILL walk away the World Heavyweight Champion, and there is nothing you or these IMBECILES can do about it!"
I challenge the San Marino team to a game of football... I won 1-0
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Post by Elder Gohan on Feb 21, 2017 15:22:43 GMT -5
Say, where's this plane landing? Oh god. We're in downtown Kabul! Still I suppose it's better than Grays...
Spongebob pinned Luigi.
Spongebob: "HAALALAALHAHAHA! Hey, look! A bubble blower!" *It's a rocket launcher! He fires a shell*
We've been here five minutes & we've already blown something up, it was only some farmer's Austin Maestro...
New Intercontinental Champion Martin. Just read that back to yourself & despair.... No, I won't insult you again. Just don't show the world what's there!
Martin: "Edward. You may leave. Lookie here..."
Ok, I'll go.
Martin: "I guess everyone finally recognises the TRUE wrestling genius that I am. Bow down before me, grant me a WORLD TITLE shot!"
Ronnie O'Sullivan: "I'm stunned. You've turned a top title into a turd, congratulations. James May must be rolling in his grave."
Martin: "He's not dead."
Ronnie: "*sigh* No, not... It's easier to call you an idiot. I challenge you to an I Quit match for your title! If I lose, I leave!"
Martin: "Sure."
So it's decided! Ronnie has that smile on his face, because he's brought out 2 sash cramps! He smacks Martin with them a few times & oh go on! He's cramped them on Martin's tits! That's gotta hurt, Martin's trying to remove them but they're on TIGHT! Oh now Ronnie's swinging on the cramps & the scream Martin just let out...
Martin: "OK OK I QUIT! GET THESE THINGS OFF ME!"
So Ronnie wins the IC Title in a way only Ronnie can.
Jake Jolson has gone on a rampage & blown up a bazaar.
We have no SWC Champion. Yorghos was due to face George at Fluck-The-Cluckamania, but George quit. There isn't time to do a tournament, so we'll just give the title to Yorghos, congratulations!
Yorghos: "Huh? I win the title? I guess I'll take it. Go go boys?"
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Post by Elder Gohan on Feb 16, 2017 6:06:56 GMT -5
SWC 17 would've been better tbh What the hell happened to Rey?!? He's got a pidgeon on his head!
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Post by Elder Gohan on Feb 7, 2017 16:10:49 GMT -5
We've finally made it to the USA! San Francisco to be exact, I tell ya if we have to walk up another bloody hill...
Todd Mortar pinned Luigi
Ronnie O'Sullivan pinned Youngster Joey to become number one contender to the Intercontinental Title
Ronnie: "Martin, you think you are going anywhere near that belt. Think again, because there is more substance in a snooker ball, than in you! If you get granted a title shot over me, I WILL walk out the company, that is a promise not a threat."
Joey: "Yeah, I'll head back to Johto if this piece of shit goes anywhere near the title."
That's at least 5 superstars that have threatened to quit, that dole queue is looking better with every passing "match"
Stacey Clemmon has lost her rematch against Anne.
Panda: *growls*
Anne: "EH EH EH!"
Panda: *does a forward roll*
Anne: *Sticks a middle finger up* "EH EH EH!"
Panda: *roars*
Anne: *Smashes a plant pot over Panda's head* "EH EH EH!"
Oh god. So I'm sat here in Jeremy Kyle's office...
Me: "You aren't seriously giving Martin a title shot are you?"
Jeremy: "He has positives, I'm sure..."
Me: "POSITIVES?!? HE STARTED A RI- *Off camera, Martin is holding something & smiling* *nervously* Oh yeah, he's erm... Great, sanction the match."
Jeremy: "Brilliant, also. I'm adding a rule to the match, if Mikey walks out... HE LOSES THE TITLE!"
Me: *Watching Martin holding the envelope* "Yeah... That's brilliant." *To myself* "I hope he hasn't got any secrets in there..."
AND THE MATCH IS NEXT~!
Mikey: "Guys... Ronnie O'Sullivan wins a contendership match & you give the WORST ANYTHING EVER a damn title match? Are you out of your tiny minds? Oh lets get this over with, why did they cancel Recess?..."
Sigh... Come on Mikey, at least humour him. Let the fat fuck have his fun & we can all forget this...
Martin nearly KO's Mikey with a mistimed punch & he lands on the bottom turnbuckle & Martin waddles toward him & slips on Mikey, nearly breaking Mikey's neck! Martin sloppily throws Mikey, but is lucky to land on his hip & Mikey goes outside the ring & grabs his title... He throws up the X sign & throws the title on the floor!
Mikey: "THAT'S IT! SWC... I QUIT! Stuff your title, he can have it! James May didn't give up 3 years for this..."
Well I guess we have a new Intercontinental Champion. Martin.
Main Event: Jake Jolson beat George.
George: "I warned you. I warned you all. But you didn't listen, 15 fans died that day & this is how they're repaid? As SWC Champion, I kinda wanna keep the belt... But I will not stand by & watch MY FANS & MY SHOW DIE! Because this mutant fatass who can't even do the basics can just walk up one day & now he's a CHAMPION! There are people who bust their ASS to put goddamn dollar store food on the table every night, those people who can't walk no more but they still bust their ass night after night & get nothing, but this fat bastard can literally botch his way to a title? No deal SWC & no mas, I've had enough. So, where does it leave us, beautiful fans? I'm leaving this company & I'm taking the title with me! Stick this up your ASS SWC!"
Well I guess I better have a chat, after I've been to the bookies...
George: "Hey Ed, don't bother. One, there's no bookies here. Two, I grew up near here so I can return to my old promotion & three, I ain't interested in a new contract."
Me: "I understand, between you & me, none of this is my decision. I'm being undermined when it comes to this guy, no one is listening to me..."
*Martin appears holding & pointing to an envelope*
Gotta go...
George: "Haven't you done enough damage?"
Martin: "I suppose you're wondering what is in here... I'll show you!" *Martin shows George the contents of the envelope*
George: "Whoa, if anyone finds out. Ed is surel... Wait, get outta here man. You've just managed to go LOWER in my estimation. Ed is a guy who stuck by me & I ain't gonna betray him. You better destroy that, before someone destroys YOU!"
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Post by Elder Gohan on Feb 4, 2017 13:59:25 GMT -5
SWC now begins it's WORLD TOUR! We're gonna visit every country on the planet & we start off in *spins globe & throws a dart* Niamey, Niger! Where the bloody hell am I?!? At least it's cheap here.
Austin Powers beat Chef Ramsay.
Let's go backstage, where Stevadore Fisher-Bunt has found something out...
Stevadore: "So it turns out that there are no erm... Vending machines in this country! 'Ow does anyone get a can of sprite for 70p?"
Yoshimitsu: "And suddenly... I EMERGE HEE YA!"
Stevadore: "Bloody 'ell! Ya gave me an heart attack!"
Yoshimitsu: "Expect me..."
Rey: lol hey dis place is well hot my ass is cooking lol
Spider-Man webs him up & suspends him from the ceiling, arse exposed of course. Whoa, the size of that mosquito! It's just stung Rey & he's swollen up!
Gentleman Jim beat Ramirez.
Gun Jack then detonates his pistons at the ring!
Jack: "LOCATE: COMMONWEALTH CHAMPIONSHIP. FOUND. ELIMINATE JIM!"
Jim: "My friend, I have held this title for a year. Beaten better & badder than you, you can try!"
Jack then Dive Bombers Jim.
Captain Carpentry beat Trumpcard
Captain: "Just incase SWC don't quite get it, I never got my damn rematch! Smiley, you stole the title from me & if you feel brave, put the belt on the line & I'll take it off you before you can say Smiley..."
Mumford: "Well, well well... Captain mouth off doing what he does best. I never got my rematch either, but you know what I did? I made myself into a contender! I put aside childish things, like pandering to the morons that don't give a DAMN about you whether you're a champion or you're at the bottom of the card! I'm having my title shot FIRST!"
Captain: "Man, you're even crazier than before!"
*Captain rebate powerbombs Mumford*
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Post by Elder Gohan on Feb 4, 2017 12:58:59 GMT -5
I got WWE2k17 for christmas sorrry to hear that SWC 17 would've been better tbh
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jan 29, 2017 14:41:04 GMT -5
I hope this is a good'un, these normally take HOURS to write... Oh we're rolling? WELCOME TO THE ROYAL BUMBLE! WE ARE LIVE IN ROMFORD, GETTING READY FOR THE BUMBLE MATCH WE GO LIVE TO MCDONALDS!
There's a forklift truck in the shop entrance, crashed of course... Youngster Joey has been doing his forklift licence & Todd Mortar has attacked him & pinned him with the forklift truck to win the HardKOK Title. Todd Mortar runs into a wild Exeggutor who uses Psychic & wins the HardKOK Title.
We've been hearing rumours that a superstar will return tonight, he has been spotted near the bookies & Mikey has thrown Exeggutor through the shelves at ASDA!
Main Event: Royal Bumble Match.
30 men. 1 winner. 1 dream.
Let's see who starts the match!
Typical. Martin draws #1. Crowd doesn't like that, but at least he won't win... (At least I hope.)
From SWC News, it's Stevadore Fisher-Bunt! I hope no one paid money for this!
Well they lock up, Martin no sells and pushes Fisher-Bunt into the corner and walks & splashes Fisher-Bunt who is holding his ribs, Oh please don't be injured. It's the last thing we need.
007 James Bond! He looks hesitant, as he crawls into the ring as Martin relaxes in the corner & Fisher-Bunt runs shoulder first into the corner post. 007 punches Martin real hard as he no sells offense again, 007 visibly telling Martin to "fucking sell" as #4 makes way
A former bumble winner, FunkyTown! He points at Martin & kicks him straight in the bollocks! BREAKDOWN on Stevadore Fisher-Bunt & he goes over the top rope! To the one guy who put a bet on Fisher-Bunt, I hope it was a wind up.
Hank Nutz! Was this the guy teased earlier? Will he make it through the night without injury? He punches Martin. Everyone stops... Nutz: "This guy? I gave up porn to wrestle this guy..." Martin with the worse snapmare ever to Nutz, who's head bent the wrong way during the snapmare & he gets a splash to the leg & you hear a mighty snap! The Bumble has been stopped, Wendy!
It's DEL BOY! He's entering the Bumble, everyone still stopped, Martin leaning on the ropes as Del Boy approaches him and leans on the rope, Martin falls out the ring! Oh thank christ... Martin: "Oh well, Yorghos wins anyway."
YOU FAT BASTARD. THAT'S THE SECOND MAIN EVENT YOU'VE RUINED.
Go on Gentleman Jim! He grabs Martin & throws him into the commentary box! He's fully battering him but then gets in the ring & clotheslines FunkyTown and Del Boy, Jim threatens the crowd but they still cheer him. What a glorious moustache.
007's best friend, Gabriel Logan, shakes 007's hand & they tie-up as the best pals go at it, Del Boy attempts to eliminate FunkyTown but is brushed off, Jim then boots Del Boy off the rebound. 007 puts Logan in the Sharpshooter
1 half of the Clemmon family, Todd Mortar! He is of course the elder brother, goes straight for Del Boy with a sweet roundhouse kick, then receives a left hand from Jim, FunkyTown nails Jim with a discus clothesline, FunkyTown then gets hit by Logan's STO!
No Rattatta? Youngster Joey! He goes & eliminates FunkyTown! He then tells everyone about his Rattatta, Del Boy knees him in the gut & throws him into the ring post. Does everyone know that you have to throw them OVER THE ROPE?
Rey! Well he chose the theme... He then goes for Gentleman Jim who literally puts Rey in to the corner & wails on him, until he falls on the floor. James Bond low blows Jim & locks him in the Sharpshooter. FFS! Why are we using submissions? It's OVER the damn ropes!
Reymond has popped a woody! It's his boyhood idol Rey Mysterio! Reymond is running around so happy as Mysterio hits the 619 & hurricanranas him over the top rope! Unlucky #13 is next, I wonder who it is?
Guys, it's ME! I'm in the Bumble! Bloody hell it's harder than it looks, but still I get to wrestle & I never get the bloody chance, for once I am the star! Rey then kicks me in the head & puts the 619 on me... Del Boy is dropkicked by Todd Mortar.
Mumford doing his arrogant shtick. He takes his time, he then gets in the ring & slaps Todd Mortar & throws him out. 007 still doesn't quite grasp the concept of the match as he locks Del Boy into the sharpshooter again. For someone who has never step foot in a ring, Del Boy has done well
So the 2nd favourite, Captain Carpentry enters the fray as he goes straight for Youngster Joey, then Jim, then 007. But Del Boy low blows the captain and throws him over, what a shock!
Wait a minute... It's RONALD MCDONALD! RONALD MCDONALD RETURNS! He stares down Captain Carpentry as he enters the ring & he starts wailing on people with flurries of punches, 007 meanwhile locks me in the sharpshooter, it's the 7th time in this match!
Oh shit! Barney the dinosaur! I guess Mr Blobby was on the dole, but still equally terrifying! btw how am I still in this match? Barney goes to hug Del Boy & gets kicked in the gut!
Spongebob enters the match, he goes straight for Barney & everyone is just watching on, wondering what the hell we're all doing with our lives, Mumford knees me in the back during the pause & throws me over. S'alright, didn't wanna be world champ anyway...
He's running to the ring, John Clemmon Jr! The younger Clemmon brother & former World Champ, with the same roundhouse that his brother did earlier as Jim attempts to boot him, but is given the same kick!
It's Johnny Triplearse! Remember when he got shot? Barney has chucked James Bond over! That's just wow, time to give him his p45, he's had it!
Another gimmick change for Trumpcard ooh eh ooh uh! Trumpcard then stands cockily in the corner & is playing this one defensively. A wise choice, but Jim with a heavy clothesline nearly KO'ing him.
The apple flavoured intergalactic sex pest, Dimmickdust has gone for Barney, claiming he's an impostor & a false god, well trust Dimmickdust to make things weird, he then hisses at Del Boy & then dropkicks Del Boy over the top. It was a good run, give him credit.
Alright lets just pretend that Yorghos isn't gonna win tonight. Everyone suddenly has a fit of giggles and isn't taking the match seriously, Jim misses a kick by a clear foot, but Spongebob sells it anyway. The fans still chanting abuse at Martin.
Achievement get, Minecraft Steve! Can he mine his way to Fluck-The-Cluckamania? The answer... No. he got press slammed over in 1 minute 45 seconds, Barney eliminated by Gabe Logan. If 007 was still in, he'd lock another poxy sharpshooter!
You're having a laugh! Jake Jolson brings a lead pipe with him & smashes Ronald McDonald with it & over he goes, John Clemmon Jr's jaw is crushed by that pipe & he's outta here, Jim rampaging over Jolson. They're legit smashing eachother.
It's STIG! Him & Yorghos team up & eliminate Jim & Jolson, they do the same to Rey Mysterio, Trumpcard & Spongebob. Dimmickdust then climbs to the top rope & is pushed out by Mumford! Half the ring has gone in 4 minutes!
Matt Hardy! Seriously, that's all he can say! He then throws out Joey! Twist of Fates all round, everyone of course overselling like mad, oh don't give the game away.
It's James May, can he win the bumble? He has to if he wants to face George at Fluck-The-Cluckamania! Oh there goes Gabe Logan, he lasted the longest at nearly an hour, he should hold his head up high tbh.
Yoshimitsu! A superstar who should have done more, he's been here since day 1 & was nearly Commonwealth Champion! He spin kicks Mumford & KANGAROO KICK to The Stig & he goes over! May then low blows Mumford & lifts him over!
Oh god no! It's Chris Jericho! He gets in & taunts the SWC crowd! He then leans on the top rope & Yoshimitsu takes advantage & but Jericho is too smart & Yoshimitsu ends up flying over! We are now down to the final four: Yorghos, Y2J, James May, Johnny Triplearse! Yorghos punches Y2J who comically oversells over the top rope, Gee... I wonder who is gonna win. James May also gets punched & goes over. Triplearse then plays the lute & Yorghos literally looks around & prods Triplearse... Who sells for a good minute straight & Yorghos prods him again & Triplearse is out!
YORGHOS WINS! YORGHOS IS GOING TO FLUCK-THE-CLUCKAMANIA! In the least surprising Bumble ending ever. The crowd went dead, cheers Martin.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jan 17, 2017 15:52:55 GMT -5
Oh christ...
Martin: "Guess what I got for christmas? An Intercontinental Title shot! Oh yeah!"
Why...
Mikey: "What the hell? I didn't agree to this! Go near my title & I walk out!"
Martin: "You have to do it & if you walk out of the match, you lose the title!"
Mikey: "Fine... Fatboy."
Todd Mortar pinned Spongebob
Todd: "Merlin, you so much as look at my sister, I will smash your Ben 10 toys & shove them up your pansy ASS! I don't care what his damn name is. This is what SWC has been reduced to..."
Treguard walked out of his match vs Martin. Ooh nasty!
Wait, Ronnie O'Sullivan has jumped Martin! He's never been more fired up & he's got that toy watch thingy that Ben 10 wears, dunno what it's called as I have a life & Ronnie lobs it in the crowd & they lob it back! Ronnie lobs it again & they lob it back again!"
Ronnie: "I guess it's going on ebay then!"
Wouldn't get much tbh
Matt Hardy beat The Stig, let's hear them discuss the Bumble
Stig: "..."
Matt "MATT HARDY!"
Stig: "..."
Matt "MATT HARDY!"
Stig: "..."
Matt "MATT HARDY!"
Yorghos interferes.
Yorghos: "Hey man! I win the Bumble & I go to the fluck-the-cluckamania OPA! GO GO BOYS!"
Matt: "MATT HARDY!"
Yorghos: "You crazy man! You say the Matt Hardy and nothing else? The english can be hard you know?"
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jan 17, 2017 15:06:50 GMT -5
Wow, I joined The Whole Show when I was in year 8 & now I'm 24
Jesus...
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jan 3, 2017 13:54:35 GMT -5
It's been a quiet year this year, due to budget costs, art troll maintenance & creative having a breakdown because of... Well, I'm sure you know. But less gloss over that, we go live to the Queen's theatre in Hornchurch! WOW this place is AMAZING! Are you sure we can't do more events here & not in Grays? We'll see huh? That means we're back to Grays...
Best Match
- 6 Man Hell in a Cell: Survival of the Fittest - Stacey Clemmon vs Panda: HeatWave - The Bumble Match
Presenting the award is former KOKDown GM, Chris Jericho
Chris: "Oh man, I'm finally able to stop repeating that damn "you're on my list, you stupid idiot!" catchphrase every five minutes! Wassup SWC! *No response* Still haven't forgiven me? The match of the year goes to Stacey Clemmon vs Panda
Stacey: "I just wanna dedicate my victory to all of my fans & the wrestling industry as a whole! I love you guys, have a happy new year!"
Worst Match
Martin, Martin or Martin?
Hobo: "Martin."
Martin: "Which match?"
Hobo: "Doesn't matter"
Martin: "I had good matches!"
Get off, you're shit!
Rookie of the Year
- Martin *HAHAHAHA* - Anne - Spongebob
It really has been a quiet year hasn't it? The award goes to Spongebob!
Anne: "EH EH EH?"
Spongebob: "baallalalalalalala! Look Gary, SHINY!"
Funniest Moment
- George breaks Kayfabe, whilst a ref tells his life story - Any Martin match - James Bond & Youngster Joey fight to a dq after his Rattatta bit 007 on the arse
Presented by 'Shams' Tremarco
Shams: "By golly, I do declare that the winner is: George!
George: "Well this was unexpected, A massive thanks to all of my beautiful fans! I couldn't have done it without you, but more so, Dave the ref & his amazing stories!"
William Regal is dusted off for his yearly moment where he presents his own face, to represent WTFness...
- Johnny Triplearse is shot & killed - Joey's Rattatta gets flattened - Martin
Regal: "Oh my, Johnny Triplearse wins!"
Johnny: "O larks a lordy, a woman shall piss on it! Thy trophy of molten steel I doth procureth!"
I should point out that this is Johnny Triplearse the second, the descendant of the original.
Superstar of the Year
- Captain Carpentry - Matt Hardy - Slenderman - George - Adrian Smiley
The winner is: GEORGE!
George: "WOW! I knew I had some great matches, thank you again my amazing fanbase!
Worst Superstar of the Year
- Any clues? - No? - Really? - Q***n B*h - George - Hulk Hogan - Vince McMahon
Martin.
Martin: "Really, I thought I was doing great..."
Don't take pride in this. Rey is happy he didn't win it this year
Rey: yay i dint win da shit award lol
That just about wraps things up so lets do our new year selfie, look back on 2016 & see in the new year.... HAPPY NEW YEAR~!
Goodnight everybody
EPILOGUE:
Spongebob wonders why people think he's so self absorbed. John Clemmon Jr hates chinchillas. Adrian Smiley has managed to burn the other leg with a candle. Rey invested a little too much in a cereal factory, now he has a warehouse full of Rice Krispies Martin attempted to sneak into the afterparty, so Captain Carpentry broke his Ben 10 action figure & he cried. Trumpcard now knows better than to sign random autographs, he nearly signed for Aston Villa Hank Nutz is allergic to celery. Mikey & Peter Griffin got falsely arrested again for armed robbery Youngster Joey is still bragging about his Rattatta. FunkyTown vows to shave his head if disco goes out of fashion. Bad news... Gyles Brandreth reminds SWC that he's still alive & hopes to bring back SWC:Reality SWC has announced a World Tour next year, it hopes by 2020 to have visited every country.
Thanks for watching, we'll never forget you!
*No animals were harmed in the making or production of any SWC event. Maybe an SWCCEO and a Beh, but no animals*
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jan 3, 2017 12:52:54 GMT -5
Should have Mr Mime as a playable character
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Post by Elder Gohan on Dec 27, 2016 15:54:33 GMT -5
I got WWE2k17 for christmas
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Post by Elder Gohan on Dec 25, 2016 3:12:43 GMT -5
Christmas is just two days away, Seymour Guado has given everyone the night off, except for me & the office staff of course. I guess you get to listen to me read fan mail then, here goes...
-Dear SWC:
Why can't I make friends? I bought these sandals that look way cool, but now no one will talk to me. Please help me!
- Dylan Yobtaf, age 12
Well Dylan, stop being such a dickhead about your sandals.
-Dear SWC:
If I commit minor crimes while wearing an SWC T-shirt, will I get away with it?
- A concerned citizen
How minor are we talking? Taking a child's curly wurly or sticking two fingers up at a pensioner? Either way you can try.
-Dear SWC:
If you had all day at the beach what would you do?
- Vikki, from Kent
I'd pave it.
-Dear SWC:
Aliens have stolen my car! Can you help?
- Anonymous
Was it a blue Ford Fiesta? Because you were doing at least 90 last night, you got arrested & your car has been crushed. I'm also assuming you were high as a kite as well.
-Dear SWC:
Don't sign up to the Tesco dating service, you'll end up with a bag for life...
- Rodney, Chesterfield.
Good one!
-der swwcceo lol
y wnt u mak me a gd wreslers i i wel gd n i wnt to b da champ lol
- rey lol
What have we told you? No! now stop asking!
-Dear SWC:
*This appears to be homemade porn with SWC superstars faces crudely cut & pasted on*
- Anonymous
Send us this again & we're calling the police. You need help, although I like how you tried to make me look fatter...
-Dear SWC:
Why don't you do many events in Grays anymore?
- John, 50
Because it's a dirty, grimy Jer riddled shithole. Even the "beach" is an eyesore, if the Koreans could nuke one place on earth, it looks like they already did Grays.
-Dear SWC
My wife left me, I've lost the house & kids, I have a gambling habit & I have no wrestling experience but I watch SWC on the telly, I can also shit a better wrestler than Martin. Can I have a job?
- Ian, hopeless.
Just hand your CV in at the front desk, just hand it to Carol Beer
-Dear SWC
Have you been mis-sold PPI? Now is the time to make a claim!
- Gladstone Brookes
Are you serious? Would it shock you if someone told you they WERE mis-sold PPI?
Dear SWC
*This is just a takeaway leaflet, infact hundreds of takeaway leaflets. One is from 2001 & that closed down years ago.*
- Keith, leaflet collector.
You're single aren't you? OK, I apologise to the homemade porn guy because this is now the weirdest thing we've been sent. Good going mate.
Dear SWC
Can you get me a date with Stacey Clemmon, because I'm a wrestler too & we even wrestle for the same company!
- Martin
Stacey says: "No chance in hell, I'd rather date the guy from the last letter & I have a boyfriend already."
Never use the fan mail line again, there will be consequences
Alright, last one. I hope it's not a weirdo...
Dear bastards
I HOPE YOUR COMPANY GOES UNDER YOU BUNCH OF ARSEHOLES, GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY YOU IGNORANT SHITS OR I'LL SUE YOUR SHIITY COMPANY TO THE STONE AGE. YOUR COMPANY DOES NOTHING BUT BULLY & INTIMIDATE GOOD PEOPLE WHO PAID TO WATCH A PERFORMANCE & ALL WE GOT WAS VIOLENCE & PORNOGRAPHY! HOW DO YOU DEGENERATE WANKERS SLEEP AT NIGHT, SWINDLING THE GOOD FOLKS WHO PAID TO WATCH EASTENDERS! IN MY DAY WE NEVER HAD SUCH SMUT ON TV! ARSEHOLES, GO FUCK YOURSELVES!
- Lesley aged 43
You do realise you can choose not to watch our show right? Also you went into OUR bar & threw a bitchfit because we were watching SWC & wouldn't put on Eastenders, did you not see the NEON SWC logos all around you? You then tried to get our barman fired because you wanted to watch said show, unaware that he is my cousin. Now you send us this threatening letter? TRY US, our legal team will wipe the floor with you. Do not watch our shows, do not attempt to boycott or picket our shows & finally, your child was winding up the wrestlers all night, his language for a 7 year old was frightening, hence why Gentleman Jim grabbed him by the collar, your son called Jim's mother a 'whore' so Jim just lifted him up & the boy cried.
PS, Eastenders is shit.
Well that's enough fan mail for a year, thanks for your contributions & thoughts. Also, SWC returns on christmas day. Now to run adverts, disaster footage & softcore porn!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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