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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 16, 2016 14:05:24 GMT -5
Well SWC forums may have died, but will SWC Wrestling die? WILL IT FUCK~! SWC will live on & we'll scrap the Mumford heel turn, we made a huge mistake there!
Stacey Clemmon is backstage, heading to the ring...
*Panda rolls into Stacey*
Panda: *GROWL* *Lifts Stacey into an inflatable chair*
Stacey: "Wha... What is this? It's a tea party? Ah screw it, I've been is in worse angles..."
Panda: *Pours the imaginary tea & Stacey hesitantly drinks it. Panda growls*
Stacey: "WHAT! I drunk the tea, why are you doing this?"
Panda: *Tries to sing, Stacey is confused*
Stacey: "OK, I'm getting outta here... *Panda flips the table*"
Panda bearhugs Stacey! *GROWL. Panda takes the women's belt*
Trumpcard pinned Spider-Man
Trumpcard: "Jim, I haven't forgotten le beating you gave me. You hide behind all ze empty threats & cheap shots, knowing that I WILL win the commonwealth title!"
Hank Nutz pinned Chef Ramsay. Hank Nutz then broke a finger signing an autograph, same finger he did last time.
Johnny Triplearse II pinned Gentleman Jim.
Johnny: "Hark, squire! Doth thou see the giant man upon the rock closeth to Hispania? The one that holdeth a gold loincloth, I shall acquire said garment... Ramirez, I challenge thee!"
Captain Carpentry pinned Dimmickdust.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Sept 15, 2015 15:29:19 GMT -5
I'm all good!
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Post by Elder Gohan on Sept 15, 2015 15:09:19 GMT -5
Well, this exists. Yeah, I guess it's time to write again
Kunimitsu pinned Asa Akira
Kuni: "Hey Red, Stacey has a point. You are kinda piss as a wrestler & a pretty piss person as well, you spit in the face of us girls & set us back decades, all you care about is your damn reality career, you know for a reality star you have a small TV, you paid £400 for a shite TV & Mr Ed has a bigger one & he paid £40 for it. To summise, you're a stupid red bitch!"
Eva: "SWC, you are just jealous... Mr Ed's TV is irrelevant, just like you. At least Mr McMahon would hire me!"
Kuni: "And I wonder why you were hired. *rolls eyes* This is the same guy who was caught talking to a vending machine a week ago."
*They fight*
Treguard pinned Gordon Ramsay
Treguard: "Ooh nasty... I guess the sands of time are running out, the Intercontinental Title will be mine!"
Ramsay: "Mate, could you not fucking wait until that old loony & his band of generic wrestlers have fucked off?"
James May interrupts
May: "Yeah, it's time to band together & tell them arses to get lost."
*THE WWE WRESTLERS HAVE BEEN SEEN BACKSTAGE!*
Dimmickdust is in the ring, he will face.
STARDUST!
Dimmickdust: "IMPOSTOR! You are not who you say you are, I know you. You are but human, CODY!"
Stardust: *monotone* "But I wear facepaint & I am STARDUST!"
Stardust wins!
Lou pins Ruschev.
Lou: "Honestly?!? YOU are a WWE Wrestler? You have bigger tits than Brandy Talore! Adding insult to injury you get to go out with Lana AND Summer Rae! HOW?!?"
Jake Jolson has battered John Cena to a pulp, Cena is literally KO'd... Nope, cenawinslol.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Sept 15, 2015 14:35:11 GMT -5
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Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 30, 2015 13:27:22 GMT -5
Welcome to the summer's biggest event, we are live in Basildon! It's cloudy & probably gonna piss down with rain, so lets get on with it!
Match 1: Womens Championship: Stacey Clemmon vs Eva Marie.
Stacey: "Red, you better put on a show. This ain't a company where you can be given a title, you have to earn it. I've wrestled my whole life, me & my brothers have been wrestling since the age of 8! At no point did I think it was too rough & then 'divas' come along & make us WRESTLERS look bad, well I've proven I can go with the boys, you almost single-handedly set womens wrestling back 20 years!"
Eva: "OMG I am well a good diva, I can do an arm drag & a school girl pin! You're just jealous that I can draw heat & that I'm a talented diva!"
Stacey: "STOP SAYING THAT DAMN WORD!"
What a punch to Eva Marie, Stacey is slamming Eva's head against the mat eventually lifting her up, whip to the ropes & a dropkick, followed by a series of headlock takeovers & arm drags. Eva Marie is barely moving as Stacey locks her in a boston crab, Eva is no selling the move & laying there with a smirk. Stacey looks PISSED, she legit punches Eva Marie 3 times & throws her out the ring. Eva hobbles to the back, and gets counted out.
Stacey: "That's it! SWC I want her contract terminated or I walk! I didn't sacrifice my life, my career, my profession just to have someone take a shit on it, I'm sure that Kunimitsu, Madison Ivy & Asa Akira feel the same way, y'know all my life I wanted to be a wrestler & everyone either laughed or said that'll end up being a barbie doll! Well no more, I have too much respect for the fans & this business I busted my ass for to let some slag to just waste everyone's time, I want Red gone not just for my sake, but for young women everywhere who want to wrestle and aim to be the same, if not better than the boys! Do it SWC, or I'll go elsewhere!"
Match 2: Intercontinental Title: Gordon Ramsay vs James May
The two shake hands as they tie up, May with a headlock as Ramsay with a back drop. They're now measuring eachother up, I suspect that this could be interesting as another tie up leading into a Ramsay hip toss & a chokehold, May eventually gets to his feet as Youngster Joey arrives ringside knowing that he never got his series match, May know locking a full nelson onto Ramsay! Well this looks ominous as May is good at submissions, Ramsay springboards off the ropes & lands behind May, backslide pin 1...2. May kicks out and Ramsay whips May into the ropes, Ramsay dodges a clothesline but times a belly to belly suplex to perfection. Dimmickdust is beside the ring & distracts May, Ramsay rolls up May 1...2...3! Ramsay retains the Intercontinental Title.
Match 3: Rey vs Mr Ed.
Gee, it's been so long since I got in the ring I was HardKOK Champion last time. Anyway, Rey's in trouble for roofing my flip-flops again. So I clothesline Rey & give him a german suplex.
Me: "Roof my flip-flops will ya? How about I throw my fist towards your face?"
Rey: dat was shit i chuck ur flippy floppys on da roof agen lol
Me: "You're shit!"
DDT finishes the match. And I get to keep my flip-flops!
Match 4: Cage match for the Commonwealth Championship: Adrian Smiley (C) vs Yoshimitsu
Adrian: "FIYAH THUNDAH!"
Yoshimitsu with that spin fists move from Tekken! He then falls over all dizzy like, Adrian Smiley then tries to slowly climb the cage as Yoshimitsu yanks him off the top Smiley counters instantly with a hurricanrana, both men down. A few minutes pass as Yoshi tries to open the door but Smiley pushes Yoshi into the door & hits an enzuguiri as Smiley starts to fire up, knee to the face & a tiger bomb as Smiley goes to the top rope, Yoshi moves, but Smiley doesn't jump Yoshi gets on the top rope, Smiley then climbs onto Yoshi's shoulders & then jumps & catches the top beam, whilst kicking Yoshi in the face, Yoshi falls! Smiley is over... SMILEY WINS!
Main Event: SWC World Heavyweight Title: Captain Carpentry vs George.
It's more or less like the other George v Captain matches, Captain is whipping George's arse but more aggressively than normal. Captain Carpentry hits the rebate powerbomb as George is pinned. Wait, what? The ref has called for the bell! Captain Carpentry looks confused, did he just retain the title? Because I didn't book this, hahaha the ref fucked it I mean seriously he cocked up the finish, it means he has to be slapped on the cock by everyone on the roster & posted to youtube!
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Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 29, 2015 16:43:23 GMT -5
Hey, you remember that old dude who was yelling at a vending machine a few weeks ago? Yeah, he's back again & he's demanding to get in the ring... Ugh. Let's hear him out then.
Oh shit! It's Vince McMahon! Everyone hide & pretend you're not in, just like when the window cleaner comes.
Vince: "Hiding, that's not best for business! You know what is best for business? John Cena is best for business! I'm best for business! Throwaway matches are best for business! (Getting annoying yet?) And if you tune into RAW for the low price of $9.99! You'll get all the cenawinslol action & you can buy a t-shirt for $9.99! That's best for business..."
Seymour Guado is here
Seymour: "Just make your damn point already, we only have an hour left!"
Vince: "OK, but you can catch my point on the WWE Network for just $9.99! That's best for business.
Seymour: "SHUT UP! Seriously, you plug more junk than a scrap dealer. If you want to do business, that's great. If you don't then leave and get lost."
Vince: "Alright, we're invading. We see SWC as a threat that must be stopped."
Kunimitsu pinned Eva Marie.
Kunimitsu: "Hey red, omg I loooooove your makeup! It's like ssoooooooo awesome!"
Eva: "Like really?"
Kunimitsu: *Knees Eva in the face* "Yeah really! Stace, don't take this the wrong way, but I will come for you if you mess with me."
Darth Vader lost to Ramirez
Mikey is still in jail.
Mikey: "I ought to stop going to McDonald's, everytime I go I end up getting arrested for armed robbery..."
Mumford pinned Yorghos
Mumford: "I LIKE KEBABS! CAN YOU MAKE KEBAB?"
Yorghos: "For you mr mumfie, you are a good man & you get best kebab."
Mumford: "YAY!"
Adrian Smiley pinned Yoshimitsu.
Yoshi: "You know what? If you ain't a punk bitch like that slag Kunimitsu, you'll face me in a cage."
Adrian: "You're on!"
Captain Carpentry whipped Johnny Triplearse.
Rey has been attempting a pop career, his single will end up in an ASDA bargain bin. That'll show him not to roof my flip-flops.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 14, 2015 17:12:00 GMT -5
So this week, we have womens champion Stacey Clemmon face off against Madison Ivy in a non-title match.
Madison Ivy pinned Stacey Clemmon in a close match.
Eva Marie interrupts.
Eva: "You girls are just laughable. You all just wish you were as talented as me..."
Stacey: "Bitch are you serious?!? I'm a Clemmon, I was born wrestling and not standing on a red carpet & starring in a piss poor reality show. It's 'divas' like you that are the reason women's wrestling is a joke, that 'divas' like you who are just hired for being pretty, you couldn't tell an armbar from a free bar and all you can say is that I'm jealous!"
Eva: "You're just jealous..."
Kunimitsu: "Jealous of what? Fake hair? Breast implants? Face facts, YOU ARE TRASH! I have more ability in my little fingernail than you & indeed most of the WWE Divas division! It's no wonder Paige is complacent as all hell & just yells her spots!"
*massive brawl*
Mikey is at Maccy D's...
Mikey: "I'd like a..."
*Armed robbers break in*
Mikey: "Not again!"
Robber: "Oh shit the cops, here fat guy hold this... Wait, I know you from somewhere... SWC Wrestling! Can I get your autograph, my sons a big fan!"
Mikey: "Sure!"
*Robber runs, leaving Mikey with the bag. Mikey is then arrested*
Rey is in the ring
Rey: i is bak lol i ws gon coz i ws injered lol
Mr Ed: "I'm gonna have to interrupt you there banana boy, you see Rey you're not injured you were suspended for 30 days for throwing my flip flops on the roof of the arena. This has caused me a great deal of expense, don't do it again amiKOK."
Hank Nutz pinned Rey.
Adrian Smiley pinned Yoshimitsu.
Adrian: "D'aww, it's ok. You'll do better next time! And remember guys, I LOVE YOU!"
Ramirez pinned Mumford.
Ramirez: "I guess it's no surprise, I will eventually conquer SWC. See that title? Y'know, the one Smiley has? Yeah, I'm gonna take it, so I guess it doesn't matter who wins next Sunday. I will crush them."
George beat Louis Spence.
Captain Carpentry whipped Johnny Triplearse.
Captain: "George, remember our old rivalry? The one where you were so cowardly, you used James May to beat my ass? Well you used all those tactics, the man advantage & you STILL couldn't beat me! Well all that's different is that the fans are behind you & I am the World Heavyweight Champion, something you barely know about."
George: "Talk is cheap. Even if I don't walk out champion, just remember you might defend your title more than once on Sunday. Johnny Triplearse is making a big fuss, John Clemmon Jr has that briefcase & Yorghos didn't even get his shot at the title! Watch. Your. Back
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Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 14, 2015 16:24:54 GMT -5
I think Mikey's career peaked during Recess
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Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 7, 2015 17:15:09 GMT -5
The SWC Womens Title is on the line for the first time in a year! Madison Ivy will defend her title in a 4 way. SWC has 4 divas you ask? We do now! Please welcome Stacey Clemmon, Kunimitsu & SWC's newest signing... I'm speechless. I thought we were signing women who CAN outwrestle hatstands? No, that's a ring love. Get in & let Kunimitsu & Stacey carry you through the match... OK So they're wrestling, that's a start. Holy shit this is longer than a WWE divas match and there's a decent match, Eva Marie is very sloppy atm, she's dropped Kunimitsu on her head & her mask fell off, Eva Marie with a sharp kick to Madison Ivy who I think is legit KO'd. Stacey Clemmon with a sit down fireman's carry slam on Eva Marie. 1..2...3! We have a new womens champion! Kunimitsu: "Yo red, watch this... *eye poke* Eye on the ball, eye on the ball! *snap kick* Ooh too slow! That's why you don't drop people on they heads ya hear?" Mikey is hanging out at the mall before his match, an old friend bumps into him. ?: "Hey, I know you from somewhere?" Mikey: "Yeah, I'm Mikey and I'm an SWC superstar. I guess you want an autograph or something" ?: "Mikey, it's me. TJ Detweiler! We were on Recess together!" Mikey: "Oh yeah, I miss those days. No one from the show contacted me like & now I'm doing my own thing." TJ: "Me too Mike-o. I run a chain of comic stores, it's tender! So yeah, Gretch became a researcher, Spinelli is homeless & is battling a drug habit, Vince is the manager of a sports direct & Gus married an Ashley!" Mikey: "That's awesome. Except Vince, I hated that guy!" TJ: "Hey, I remember that fight you & Vince got into! You battered him." Mikey: "Anyway, I gotta dash. Catch ya later!" TJ: "OK, but you gotta know... It's Finster, she died last year..." Mikey: "Oh. Sorry to hear that." Mikey lost to Louis Spence. Yoshimitsu pinned Adrian Smiley. Yoshi: "Times wastin' new kid. You better get used to this losing feeling, and fast. Wait a minute... I smell a rat, a fat foul smelling rat in a wolf mask... Come out coward!" George pinned Johnny Triplearse to become the new #1 contender to the World Title. George: "Captain Carpentry my old enemy. I guess I could challenge for your title, this time I'll have my beautiful people & their keen eye for style behind me, believe me those keen eyes can see your chin from space!" Captain: "I bet you feel the big guy huh? 'Now I have blonde hair & a new polo shirt, I can finally stop dressing like a 2nd rate strip club manager from the early 90's.' George, I could care less about the fans, quite frankly you can all wipe a cockatoo's ass with your opinion!" George: "A cockatoo's ass? Captain Carpentry, YOU are a cockatoo's ass!" Yorghos pinned Todd Mortar. Side note: A mysterious well muscled 70 year old has been sighted backstage, rumour has it he is interested in buying SWC. He will begin negotiations soon, but he's currently talking to a vending machine about "being best for business"
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 31, 2015 4:35:46 GMT -5
WANT.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 25, 2015 16:46:50 GMT -5
Todd Mortar pinned Ed
Mikey was completely annihilated by Ramirez. So badly he went through the ring.
Adrian Smiley retained the Commonwealth Title vs Yoshimitsu & Trumpcard.
Yoshimitsu: "OK, that was fair. But at HeatWave, I have an idea. You see, I'm not a man of fairness, I'm an asshole. You will be challenged by... EVERYONE ON KOKDOWN!"
Adrian: "Whoa! I see you're serious. There's a real chance I could lose my title... I accept!"
Gentleman Jim narrowly pinned George.
Captain Carpentry pinned Mumford.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 20, 2015 15:30:53 GMT -5
Womens Champion Madison Ivy is backstage with Jeremy Kyle, Sgt. Begovic & Insp. Mignolet. Madison: "Look, I didn't call the cops last week. Y'know, I think there's been a big misunderstanding..." Jeremy: "Yeah, it's just a storyline. Dimmickdust in the storyline will end up feuding with Youngster Joey over Madison & the Intercontinental Title, it'll also involves James May at somepoint. You arresting Neil kinda screwed things up, because Neil Dimmick isn't stalking Madison because well..." Madison: "WRESTLING ISN'T REAL! It's about as real as my movies!" Sgt Begovic: "Umm, jeez. I guess Neil Dimmick is released. Just don't do it again!" Dimmick: "Well now my Dimmickdust character is ruined! Ah screw it, it can't be worse than Stardust..." Jeremy: "Don't worry, we'll rebuild ya. Madison, we've made a few changes to the division. Only you & Asa Akira are retaining their contracts. However, we're hiring a few more women! You'll face one next!" Madison Ivy faces... Madison: "I can see you're talented... Tell me about yourself." ?: "Well, I have 2 brothers & a father who work for SWC..." Madison: "Yeah, I guess working in the car park is a family trade." ?: "You didn't let me finish, my name is Stacey & my older brother is Todd, my baby brother is John Jr & my father is legendary wrestler John Clemmon Sr!" Huge german suplex from Stacey Clemmon! 1..2..3! What a debut! And apparently 2 more signings confirmed. Gun Jack smashed Minecraft Steve. Minecraft Steve: "Gun Jack, you are a glorified pinball machine." Gun Jack: "FUCK YOU SQUARE MAN!" Minecraft Steve: "Achievement Get." They brawl. Youngster Joey pinned Borat Joey: "Hey weirdo, you weren't the only one to get screwed. James May lost in a botched finish, you got arrested & then released like nothing happened, I lose my series match & now Ramsay is the Champion? You know how much that sucks? 100%. You know what else is 100% My Rattatta! It's in the top percentage & my Rattatta is just the best." Dimmickdust: "...You, are just so selfish. Me me me! Why don't you challenge Ramsay then?" Joey: "I will do. I was first." Dimmickdust: "No. I was first, the apples don't lie..." James May: "Erm, chaps. I think you'll find that I was first. You arses." Lou pinned Homer Simpson. Matt Hardy pinned The Stig. Slenderman in a hoodie chokeslammed Matt Hardy. Slendy: "Yo, why don't ya come fight me? I'll make you a star big guy!"
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 18, 2015 16:16:52 GMT -5
General Manager Jeff Stelling is in his office with president Seymour Guado.
Jeff: "What brings you 'ere Mr Guado?"
Seymour: "I want you to know that you're doing a fine job, you just need to make more matches..."
Abonaserio & Tim knocks on the door
Tim: "Mr Guado, we're out of ready salted crisps."
Seymour: *Click* *Tim dies* "Now you don't need food, you have also escaped your mortal suffering, anyone else wish to join him? Good, World Championship match at HeatWave, announce what's on the paper after Captain Carpentry's match tonight. Also, we are doing something for charity this year, if we get enough donations we'll shoot Rey out of a cannon!"
Mikey is in the ring.
Mikey: "O fortuitous fate, I love thee. Shut up, while I recite poetry! For this medium, I recite. SWC fans, I think you are shite!"
*GOD SAVE THE QUEEN*
Oh shit it's Ramirez! 6'10 365 lbs of Gibraltarian monster! He isn't happy...
Ramirez: "You talk too much fat man."
Elbow to the face, big boot & A huge powerbomb! 1...2...3! Ramirez wins on his return from injury!
Mumford pinned Gabe Logan.
Spider-Man pinned Adrian Smiley. Trumpcard beatdown Smiley after the match.
Trumpcard: "OK, for my next trick. I'll turn a chump into a joke!"
Yoshimitsu: "I suppose now would be a bad time? Incase you didn't know, the Commonwealth Title will be defended an a triple threat next week. Smiley vs you vs ME!"
King Yorghos pinned an also returning Gentleman Jim.
George is attacked backstage and is found with a lute smashed over his head.
Captain Carpentry pinned Ronald McDonald.
Jeff Stelling: "Captain Carpentry, next month you will face Johnny Triplearse for the World Title in a Steel Cage match!"
SWC has announced that it will attempt to take the womens division semi-seriously, and will sign a few women who can at least outwrestle hatstands & not attract apple-fetishists. SWC has also launched more action figures, including an internet exclusive Hank Nutz that falls apart when you touch it, first aid box & bandages sold seperately.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 14, 2015 16:32:03 GMT -5
*The police have turned up and are in Jeremy Kyle's office*
Officer: "I am Sgt. Begovic & this is Inspector Mignolet, we have a few questions."
Jeremy: "Go ahead."
Mignolet: "It has come to our attention that one of your superstars has been harassing your female employees."
Begovic: "Yes, we received a call late last night that a man 6'2 dressed in red & white leather and apple facepaint following a woman believed to work at SWC."
Jeremy: "We'll co-operate fully & I know that this isn't the first time. If the person who is making the claim is telling the truth, then we'll punish the attacker..."
Mignolet: "Look, enough messing around. We know it's Dimmickdust, tell him to stop or he's facing 18 months!"
Jeremy: "OK"
Borat pinned Peter Griffin
Intercontinental Title best of 7 series: Youngster Joey vs Dimmickdust
Dimmickdust is about to pin Joey... Wait that's Sgt. Begovic & Insp. Mignolet! They're whispering to the ref, ref is signalling for a mic.
Ref: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the police have informed us that this match will result in a no contest! And that Neil "Dimmickdust" Dimmick is placed under arrest!"
GM Jeremy Kyle comes out
Jeremy: "Furthermore, you are STRIPPED of the Intercontinental Championship! A new champion will be crowned tonight in a beat the clock challenge."
First up is James May vs James Bond. May wins in 10:42
Homer Simpson beat Edd in 4:21
Gun Jack is up next, he smashed Treguard in 5:00.
Jack: "FACK. TOO FACKING LONG!"
Minecraft Steve pinned Snape in 4:22. Seriously forgot about Snape...
Last in the challenge, Chef Ramsay gets to hand pick his opponent.
Ramsay: "I choose... DARTH VADER!"
Chef Ramsay pins Vader in under 2 minutes to win the Intercontinental Title!
New SWC Champion Matt Hardy announces the new #1 contender
Matt: "MATT HARDY!"
I think you mean Jake Jolson?
*GONG & DARKNESS!* *EXPLOSION!* *THUNDERBOLT!* *SNOWING!*
Voice: "SWC... You have remained care-free for too long! I've been watching, yet I have no eyes! I've been hearing, yet I have no ears! YOU ARE NOT SAFE! I'M COMING FOR YOU! RIGHT. NOW!"
SHIT THE BED! IT'S... THE SLENDERMAN! HE'S BACK! HE'S ON A BIKE!
Slenderman: "It's been a while SWC! Did any bitches make moves when I was gone? Well I'm gonna go all medieval on your ass Matt & I'm taking that sweet ass belt brah."
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 12, 2015 17:16:50 GMT -5
Welcome to the beach! Grays Beach! (It's the closest beach to the SWC arena) So if you ignore the Thames floodgates, the ton of factories, beer cans, needles & used condoms it's an OK beach. Tonight we have an Intercontinental Title match, a World Title match & an SWC Title match, I just hope Ottomans isn't closed!
Rey: jeez dis place is well shit dere is da kfc boxs and da bin man nt been i cnt belive dat ED grew up her eastsex is da shit hole lol
Me: "Yeah, but you'll never know how great Primark is, or the feeling of walking through the town centre of Romford & getting lost, or the sheer awesomeness of Lakeside shopping centre, or the fact that you are never more than 10 minutes from a takeaway, or how life-changing a school trip to Mersea Island is, or even how Colchester/Chelmsford seems like a life time away. You'll never experience the 11 bus to Basildon, no wonder it goes next to the hospital you'll have whiplash from the journey! You will never experience Basildon, Romford, Southend, Grays even Tilbury to a point. You will never know how amazing Essex really is! So shut the fuck up & try not to get pinned by a hatstand again..."
Rey: point being lol
* I smash Rey*
Match 1: Intercontinental Title: Dimmickdust (c) vs James May
In a shock result Dimmickdust beat James May over a month ago, you could hear a pin drop. Dimmickdust breathes at James May, who punches back. Dimmickdust chicken dances! James May is unimpressed, as he kicks him in the gut & rams him into the turnbuckle also using shoulder charges keeping Dimmickdust in the corner as May stops Dimmickdust kisses May who is taken aback, Dimmickdust chicken dances & clotheslines May down. Dimmickdust using that sexy pin, 1.2 kickout. You know it's only creepy when he does it, but when Madison Ivy does it it is actually pretty sexy, Dimmickdust is dropped down as May locks in Clutch Control! A few seconds later Dimmickdust manages to break the hold by punching May in the face with his free hand. Dimmickdust then rolls up May 1...2...3! Dimmickdust retains!
Match 2: Adrian Smiley vs King Yorghos
Yorghos: "Adrian, you are the friend of me you the real boys"
Adrian: "I am Adrian Smiley & I LOVE YOU! I LOVE SWC!"
They shake hands & collar & elbow tie-up as the new commonwealth champion with a headlock take over as Yorghos kips up & splashes Adrian. They're both regrouping as they go to the corner and Yorghos climbs up looking for the OPA DROP but Smiley catches & with a backbreaker, followed by a leg drop. Smiley then throws Yorghos out of the ring & slingshot splash onto Yorghos! Will both men make it into the ring by 10? Ok they both get in, and Yorghos has his arm twisted but he flips & kicks Smiley in the jaw and then with a quick knee drop, he then uses the momentum to climb the turnbuckle & hits an OPA DROP. Pin 1...2...3! Yorgheh!
Match 3: SWC Championship: The Stig (c) vs Matt Hardy
The Stig & Matt Hardy have had quite the rivalry over the SWC Title, Stig is folding his arms & Matt is yelling his name. Finally The Stig whacks Matt Hardy with a left hook, and Matt returns the favour before whipping Stig to the corner, Matt looked a bit defensive in his last few matches. The Stig with a POWERLAP! 1...2... Kickout by Matt Hardy!
Matt: "Matt Hardy!"
I think Matt has seen something... It's... Tattoo John! What's he doing ringside? He's passed out, The Stig also keeping an eye out incase John tries something, Matt Hardy with a side effect both men down. Both men stagger to their feet as Matt Hardy drop toeholds The Stig. Ref spots something in the Thames, Tattoo John smashes a bottle over The Stig's head...
TWIST OF FATE! Cover 1...2...3...! NOT THIS WAY!
Your winner & NEW SWC CHAMPION... MATT HARDY!
Matt: "Matt Hardy!"
Main Event: SWC World Heavyweight Championship: Captain Carpentry (c) vs George
Last month Captain Carpentry made short work of FunkyTown, even shattering FunkyTown's nose in the process. George suffered a nose break in the past, so the captain will be aiming for the nose as he boots George in the face. I think this is a knockout, as George uses an armbar takedown. That looked like a nerve hold as Captain Carpentry can't lift his arm above his head. 20 mins pass as George goes for the Facelift but the Captain ducks & uses the momentum to powerbomb George. 1...2...3 The Captain retains!
Mumford: "MUMFORD!"
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