|
Post by Elder Gohan on Oct 25, 2017 1:22:28 GMT -5
Turns out SWCCEO is back, I guess he didn't want to not be the SWCSEO!
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Oct 24, 2017 15:29:57 GMT -5
So, SWC's camera crew have been on the piss, they've all got their P45 in the post.
Anne pinned Kunimitsu.
Todd Mortar pinned Ronnie O'Sullivan.
Ronnie: "I just want a title shot mate."
Todd: "You kinda had one, but OK I ain't got no plans. You & me, will have a best of 7 series. It'll start next week!"
Ronnie: "You're on!"
Todd: "Good luck. You're gonna need it."
Ronnie: "I have skill, I don't need luck."
Mikey pinned Adrian Smiley
Mikey: "Rey you heartless fiend! Why do you want to watch the world burn?!?"
Adrian: "Yeah, I want answers too. Why do you wanna educate us anyway? What is so hard about LOVE?!?"
*Peter Griffin interrupts*
Peter: "Hey Mikey, remember we have to go to McDonald's in a few minutes, wait who's the hippy guy?"
Mikey: "I dunno, but I sure like his love ideas. Hey Ade, you coming with?"
Adrian: "Sure."
*At McDonald's*
Adrian: "Can I have a Big Mac & chips please? Keep the change because I LOVE YOOU!"
*Doors kicked down*
?: "THIS IS SGT. BEGOVIC & SGT HENNESSEY YOU THREE ARE UNDER ARREST ON SUSPICION OF ARMED ROBBERY, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING WHEN QUESTIONED, BUT IT MAY HARM YOUR DEFENCE!"
Peter: "We have to find another branch, this is ridiculous!"
Spongebob pinned Ramirez in a shock.
Rey: "Hello. Where are you off to? In a hurry are we? Well maybe you have time to listen to us, you have rejected our peace offering. So now, we are declaring WAR! Get 'em!"
*The Sacred Banana attack Spongebob*
Spongebob overpowers Auntie Margaret & Dimmickdust, he goes towards Rey... WHO OR WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!? IT'S FOUR FOOT TALL & VERY HAIRY, IT'S SQUAT SHUFFLING ALONG & GIGGLING IN A HIGH PITCHED VOICE! It smiles at Spongebob before kicking him in the balls! This creature & the rest of the Sacred Banana are battering Spongebob...
Rey: "Welcome Brother Pinball!"
Brother Pinball: "It'shk goodshk too beshk hereshk CU-SHAWN!"
Rey: "Together we will rule the world."
Brother Pinball: "Ofshk courseshk, itshk willshk beshk CU-SHAWN! glorioushk whenshk weshk destroyshk the nonbelievershk. CU-SHAWN! Yeshk the pendantshk of the bananashk, it'shk glowshk evershk so brightlyshk on Dimmickdustshk CU-SHAWN!"
Rey: "You know of the pendant?"
Brother Pinball: "CU-SHAWN! givenshk timeshk, it willshk revealshk the chosenshk oneshk! CU-SHAWN!"
The Stig pinned Yorghos.
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Oct 18, 2017 10:07:25 GMT -5
Now who's gonna run da SWC bord lol, got some good odds on Alan Pardew being the new SWCCEO...
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Oct 16, 2017 5:30:23 GMT -5
Guess this is the end of the SWCCEO...
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Oct 14, 2017 3:03:46 GMT -5
It lasted what, nearly 4 months? That's pretty good for SWC tbh. It says it's a TOS deletion, so I guess Rey didn't delete it this time. I wonder why ProBoards deleted it? Last I heard, Rey buggered off & spambots flooded the place
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Oct 13, 2017 1:45:37 GMT -5
So SWC is gone. AGAIN.
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Jun 22, 2017 6:24:12 GMT -5
How long until he starts up a new one?
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Jun 22, 2017 6:12:53 GMT -5
Did he get the site shut down already? Yep :/ Well done Reymond... WELL DONE!
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Jun 22, 2017 5:32:06 GMT -5
Did he get the site shut down already?
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Jun 19, 2017 2:44:16 GMT -5
BAH GAWD! BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Apr 13, 2017 12:10:22 GMT -5
It's time for the DRAFT! Let's hope Martin buggers off... Martin: "I hope no one forgot about my open invitational!" Yeah, if it keeps going on EVERYONE on earth will have a job! Martin: "Shut it Edward, or I will tell everyone what you got up to last night... Anyway, who is my challenger?" IT'S POSTMAN PAT! Can this get any better? Pat: "Letter for Mr Ed." Cheers, *reading out loud* "May I have your attention please. This match is now a handicap match & Pat, you will have a partner..." BOOKER T! HE'S BACK! CAN YOU DIG THAT SUCKA?!? Booker T kicks Martin in the balls & scissor kicks him, Pat wins. Annnnd. The first draft pick is... ADRIAN SMILEY IS DRAFTED TO RAWR! Ronnie O'Sullivan beat Youngster Joey Joey: "I want your title, oh & did you see my Rattatta?" GABRIEL LOGAN IS DRAFTED TO RAWR! James Bond beat Luigi. 007: "So Gabriel Logan has returned to RAWR? Hmm this is interesting." JOHN CLEMMON JR IS DRAFTED TO RAWR! John Clemmon Jr beat Spongebob. HANK NUTZ IS DRAFTED TO RAWR! SWC Champion Yorghos beat The Stig in a non title match... That's The Slenderman! He's staring down Yorghos... CHOKESLAM! RAMIREZ IS DRAFTED TO RAWR!
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Mar 31, 2017 13:16:16 GMT -5
WELCOME TO FLUCK-THE-CLUCKAMANIA! THE ULTIMATE EVENT IN THE SWC CALENDAR & IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD ONE, WE ARE ALL READY TO GO & WE'RE BROADCASTING LIVE WORLDWIDE HERE AT WEMBLEY STADIUM!
*Please rise for the national anthem*
*God save the queen belted out*
I thought he was banned?!? This ain't fair...
Martin: "YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD STOP ME?!? YOU ARE WRONG! You are looking at SWC's hottest superstar & the future of the wrestling industry! I demand anyone to take me on right now, I'll win!"
Martin: "You morons are so damn gullible, HBK can't even hold a candle to me! Now can the REAL guy step ou..."
*GONG*
Is it? IT IS! THE DEADMAN IS HERE! THE UNDERTAKER! MARTIN HAS LITERALLY SHAT HIMSELF!
Taker is just standing there while Martin nervously offers him a handshake... Taker grabs his throat instead and CHOKESLAM! Sod the streak, the titles & all that, I will love The Undertaker forever just for that!
Womens Championship: Anne (c) vs Stacey Clemmon
Anne makes her entrance with 30 other "Annes," while...
Stacey Clemmon liked my 80's woman look so much she nicked it! Not fair, she ACTUALLY is a woman! I did it better tbh. Anne starts off by shoving Stacey into the corner & licking her, Clemmon elbows Anne & they standoff eachother but Clemmon then uses a drop toehold & locks in a boston crab, but Anne counters into a rollup with a count of 2. Clemmon now rolls up Anne, I honestly can't tell if Stacey's hair is real or a wig but I did it better, Clemmon then hits a modified version of her brother's finisher, the OMEGA DRIVER! 1..2..3!
Stacey Clemmon wins the Womens Title on the biggest day of SWC's year!
We now welcome Iggy Azalea as she performs her 25 minute set. That arse tho'
Commonwealth Championship: Gentleman Jim (c) vs Gun Jack
Gun Jack enters on a Soviet tank to the USSR national anthem, while Jim is carried on a throne.
So they start out with knife edge chops, before Jack throws Jim into the corner & hits a running squash, Jim immediately counters with a side slam, but then Jim locks in a facelock but realises that Jack is a sodding robot & has no lungs, so Jack locks in a sleeper of his own until Jim wriggles free & dropkicks Jack three times knocking him down! So Jack roars at the same as Jim & they both trade vicious punches, swinging & thunderous blows I swear that broke Jim's nose! Jack then dodges one & locks in a bear hug! Jim nearly passes out! But headbutts Jack & charges to the corner & lifts Jack onto the turnbuckle... Jack elbows & shoves Jim off, DIVE BOMBER! 1...2... KICKOUT, Jack looks shocked! Jim uses this confusion to roll up Jack 1...2...3! Jim retains the title!
*SWC Merch plug*
WANK BANK match: Gordon Ramsay vs Dimmickdust vs Rey vs Exeggutor vs Youngster Joey vs Todd Mortar
Wait, Rey's in this match? Oh bloody hell, just hope he doesn't win. Rey immediately gets knocked out cold by Exeggutor, it's an all out brawl for a minute or two until Todd Mortar gets a ladder and attempts to climb up it & gets pulled down and dropkicked by Dimmickdust, who gets clotheslined out of the ring as Joey knocks the ladder against the ropes & runs Shelton Benjamin style & flies into Dimmickdust! Gordon Ramsay & Exeggutor then brawl in the ring until Exeggutor props up a ladder & begins climbing... But Ramsay hits Exeggutor with a frying pan & cooks an omelette with an egg that fell. In response the KO'd Exeggutor uses Psychic & it blinds everyone... EXCEPT REY WHO WAS WEARING SUNGLASSES! HE ASCENDS THE LADDER & HE'S GOT 2 FOOT TO GO... I don't fucking believe it... Rey has won the WANK BANK match! Rey has a free world title shot, let that sink in.
Before we go to a main event, let us go live to Tom Jones live! Everybody sing... "WHY WHY WHY DELILAH!"
Main event: SWC World Heavyweight Championship: Mumford (c) vs Captain Carpentry
Mumford gets chauffeured in a limo...
*On the titantron: "In life we have celebrated many men, we have also celebrated demigods. Gilgamesh, Hanuman, Hercules & Perseus. Tonight, another demigod joins the pantheon. Arise CAPTAIN CARPENTRY!"*
Mumford: "I hope you brought your all. You're gonna need it, 'Captain.'"
Captain responds with a slap to the jaw & Mumford responds by locking up & a hip toss, before locking in a chin lock & sticking two fingers up at the crowd, but Captain counters with a suplex, followed by a clothesline & a big boot. Mumford utilises an unseen eye poke & throws the Captain into the ringpost shoulder first... TIGER BOMB! Mumford covers 1...2... Kickout! The streak nearly ended there, Mumford then chokes the Captain in the corner until the Captain elbows Mumford & hits a spinebuster & a knee to the head! That looked painful, both men winded after 25 minute of non-stop action. REBATE POWERBOMB! 1...2... KICKOUT!
Mumford: "It seems we are evenly matched. But I WILL end your streak, 'hero'"
Captain: "Try it. I'm gonna walk out champion & you know it!"
Mumford lunges at the Captain & they trade blows until Mumford knees the Captain in the gut, whips him to the corner & oh no... It looks like a SUPER TIGER BOMB! Mumford stands triumphanly, he's bleeding but he hasn't won yet! Cover him! 1...2...KICKOUT! Captain Carpentry is being positioned for another tiger bomb... COUNTER INTO A REBATE POWERBOMB 1...2...3!
WE HAVE A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION & THE STREAK CONTINUES! CAPTAIN CARPENTRY GOES 6-0 AT FLUCK-THE-CLUCKAMANIA & GOOD GOD DID HE RUN THAT CLOSE!
Mumford: "Good job, you beat me... Don't get too comfortable, I will take it back."
What a sore loser.
GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Mar 25, 2017 15:14:15 GMT -5
Let's raise some money, do something for a laugh. Of course lets not forget the serious issues *pfft, two fingers up*
So Ramirez, Gentleman Jim & Trumpcard have started off with a end-to-end cartrip of the UK, singing along to the radio & playing on fruit machines, they managed to raise £25,000.
The SWC staff have done the macarena, of course in fancy dress. I'm all for charity, but why am I dressed as a hotdog?
Yorghos, James May, Gun Jack & Ronnie O'Sullivan all did an obstacle course where Yorghos won it. Very well done for raising a decent amount. Don't forget, we're doing a prize arse phone-in where you pay a pound, vote & we get to punish the superstar with the most votes, the following are up for punishment: Rey, Gyles Brandreth, Mr Ed, Jeremy Kyle & Martin! So get ringing!
And now SWC Presents: SWC BAKE OFF!
5 superstars, 5 cakes who wins it all.
Tell you what, lets edit out the cooking & skip to the judging. We start with Rey's "erm whatever the bloody hell that is" cake...
Mr Ed: "Hmm, I can taste banana... Did you shove it up your arse first?"
Rey: na lol
Ed: "4 out of 10. Was barely cooked."
Lets go over to Todd Mortar
Ed: "Bit boring, I can definitely taste the cement! 7 out of 10!"
Let's go over to Robmaniac
Ed: "You haven't made a cake?"
Robmaniac: "I don't get it? Were we meant to make a cake? I don't understand."
Ed: "For fuck sake..."
Dimmickdust...
Ed: "That's not a cake."
Dimmickdust: "HOW DARE YOU! IT'S MY YUMMY!"
Ed: "No, it's a brick..."
Dimmickdust: "I WILL NOT BE INSULTED LIKE THIS!" *HISS*
I never thought I'd say this, but Martin I'm actually looking forward to this...
Ed: "TOO SWEET, oh now I've got diabetes! Uh oh... I NEED TO SHIT!"
*So I run in super speed to the nearest bog... LOCKED. SLEDGEHAMMER IT DOWN!*
Ed: "You... Put... Laxatives... Todd wins..." *collapse*
Stevadore: "Time for me big finale! Oh bollocks!"
*The transmission has ended. Well done to everyone involved, we raised £11,468,247! Except you Martin, you're fat.*
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Mar 18, 2017 16:49:05 GMT -5
HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY FROM ALL THE WAY IN BRASILIA, BRAZIL! Hang on, this guy came along? He's not even on this show, nor did I book him...
Martin: "Oi you! I got you a match tonight! Oh and a special costume & entrance! You'll like it..."
Get outta here fatboy.
Chef Ramsay pinned Gentleman Jim in an upset
Rey has decided to mouth off again.
Rey: i done it i finally beat da spyro 2 innit dat rippo was da baddy lol
Minecraft Steve: "I beat Spyro 2 years ago. Where have you been?"
Rey: it was hard lol
Steve: "No achievement get."
Trumpcard pinned John Clemmon Jr
Trumpcard: "This sunday, I win the briefcase & I will be world champion you know?"
Mumford beat Spider-Man
Mumford: "Captain Carpentry. I won the World Heavyweight Title, I said I would & I DID. I will also destroy your streak, I said I would & will. I looked up to you until you became a hypocrite & started pandering to these morons, I decided to put away those stupid things & now people look up to me, they will remember me as the guy who broke your streak!"
Wait, I have a match? Oh lets see what he's got for us...
Hank Nutz is my opponent? Oh alright then, hit "my music"
I'm dressed like an 80's woman with big hair & every woman in the crowd is singing along. Hank Nutz has laughed so hard he broke a rib, so I pinned him...
Martin: "HAHAHA YOU LOOK SO STUPID, I HUMILIATED YOU! YOU'RE DRESSED LIKE A WOMAN!"
Me: "LISTEN YOU FAT IDIOT! EVERY DAMN WOMAN IS SINGING ALONG, I'VE BEAT A FORMER SWC CHAMPION WHILST WEARING FUCKING SPANDEX, BIG HAIR & LEG-WARMERS! AND I GOT A LOUDER REACTION THAN YOU EVER DID!"
Martin: "Sure... The crowd LOOOVE you. Let's see the reaction from the crowd."
Man: "He's down well. I'm pretty sure he's done more in five minutes than you've done in months."
Middle aged woman: "I think you're jealous that he looks good as a woman & he can rock the 80's look better than some women!"
Woman: "Leave Ed alone, he's great & you're well jealous because you're 400 pounds overweight & totally useless. Get out you ugly arsehole!"
SWC Executive: "Wow, I would tbh." (Erm...)
Me: "The people have spoken, you haven't humiliated me! If anything my 15 minute cameo is less humiliating than ANY of your matches! Now get out of my damn ring, we are having a singalong!"
|
|
|
Post by Elder Gohan on Mar 13, 2017 16:00:47 GMT -5
Well we ran out of travel budget, because we are live in Somalia! Bloody hell, it's still slightly better than Grays!
Martin: "I'm issuing an open challenge, come and beat me!"
It's... EXEGGUTOR! Look at the derpy coconut!
Exeggutor: "EXEGGUTOR!"
*Exeggutor used Egg Bomb!*
Martin Fainted!
Spongebob beat Ronnie O'Sullivan.
Spongebob: "Oh look. BLOONS!"
And there goes a Datsun Cherry & a celery farm
Yorghos names his number 1 contender, by pulling a snooker ball from a sock.
Yorghos: "Blue balls!"
That means you need to blow, also that means the number one contender is James May.
Todd Mortar beat FunkyTown
Todd: "I'm gonna win the IC Title & bring some honour back to the belt!"
At least there's a riot we can all participate in, I mean imagine the reaction if say, Martin Clunes or the guy from the dirty mag shop challenges Martin, the arena would be on fire!
|
|