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Post by Elder Gohan on Dec 15, 2016 15:23:37 GMT -5
DAWG HOUSE RETURN!
Spells or Rattatta?
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Post by Elder Gohan on Dec 14, 2016 14:36:56 GMT -5
Well, SWC returns from it's 2 month ban following a riot, lets see if we can pull a card out of my arse make a great show with no build up. It's not stopped us before, so first up it's womens champion Anne who faces Stacey Clemmon in a falls count anywhere match! And lets not forget SWC World Championship is defended in a 6 man hell in a cell! Oh christ...
Martin: "I hope nobody forgot about me! I mean, I am the greatest superstar to grace SWC & I want a title shot tonight!"
Mikey: "Get stuffed, you killed 15 people & you want a title shot?!? I could have banged an Ashley, but nooo! I had to become a wrestler..."
Martin: "I don't want your title anyway, I want Matt Hardy's."
Mikey: *Nearly collapses a lung laughing* "I haven't laughed this much since Randall got beat up! Go back to watching Ben 10 & crying yourself to sleep!"
Martin: "Don't care, Ben 10 is cool. Matt Hardy loses the title tonight, I saw the script."
YOU FAT BASTARD! Well there goes the main event.
Match 1: Womens Championship: Anne (c) vs Stacey Clemmon
Anne is one of our more bizarre competitors lately, she stalked Stacey while she was in hospital. Has Stacey gone totally insane? Her brothers think so! Anne throws a stapler at Clemmon & then rolls her up to the count of 2 & Clemmon then punches Anne & throws her into the corner & attempts a dropkick but Anne dodges & Stacey goes groin first into the ringpost & Anne slams her head into the canvas & kicks her head a few times!
Anne: "EH EH EH!"
Stacey Clemmon with a small package! 1...2... Kickout and Anne gets hit with knuckle dusters! That's got to be it right there... Kicked out at two! Clemmon throws Anne out of the ring & follows up with a beautiful dive! Anne recovers & throws Clemmon into the ringsteps, she has that stapler & she staples Stacey to the apron & is hitting her with a spanner multiple times! Cover 1...2...3! Anne retains! But Stacey's OK to walk to the back.
Match 2: Commonwealth Title: Gentleman Jim (c) vs Minecraft Steve
Oh look who's here... Coming to laugh at far superior wrestlers when they cock up...
Martin: "Haha, you botched a scoop slam!"
Jim: "At least I CAN perform one!"
Martin: "Don't care."
Jim then spots Steve trying to capitalise on the distraction & catches him with an uppercut. Jim looks annoyed, moreso than usual as he just takes apart poor Steve, see the only reason Steve is here tonight is because I had great odds on Jim keeping the title tonight, I win a grand if he does but that's beside the point tbh. Jim then locks in the gentleman stretch & Steve taps out.
Jim: "Listen, SWC fans might be stupid, but you Mervin insult their pitifully low intellect. I will be damned if I let you come anywhere near MY SHOW OR MY TITLE! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ARENA!"
Match 3: SWC World Championship: 6-Man Hell in a Cell: Adrian Smiley (c) vs Ramirez vs Johnny Triplearse vs Mumford vs Captain Carpentry vs John Clemmon Jr.
This is essentially the main event since the actual main event has been ruined. Wow it's an all out brawl John Clemmon Jr kicks Mumford in the head as Ramirez throws Johnny Triplearse through the cell door! Smiley cracks Captain Carpentry with a chair & turns his attention to Ramirez who just punches the chair out of his hand & nails a huge left hand, Ramirez literally throws Mumford THROUGH the cell wall, there's literally a hole in it as Triplearse & Clemmon are on the top of the cage, inside Smiley dives and knocks everyone down & Triplearse is about to powerbomb... HURRICANRANA BY CLEMMON, BOTH MEN ARE KO'D! They went through the commentary table didn't they? We just got that one! Smiley then hits a Smiley Splash from the second table onto Clemmon, no one can get there quick enough 1...2...3! Smiley retains in a brutal match!
Main Event: SWC World Title: Matt Hardy (c) vs George
Wow, I totally don't know how this one will go! *Puts £50 on George to win* So George isn't taking this seriously & is overselling every offence, Matt Hardy is laughing! It's a bit of a joke carrying on, we know the result now! Alright, wrap it up we got a party to go to. Matt Hardy sarcastically lays down as George overacts & crawls 'dramatically' toward Matt. Referee points & gives the thumbs up at the camera as he slowly counts 1...... 2......
Ref: "Matt, you know you can kick out at any point. We got some time to kill & let me tell you about how I became a referee... I started when I was 12 I got to wrestling school & I injured my knee, so I got a bit down hearted & left. So I took a job in ASDA & that's when I met this weird Italian-American guy talking to a box of Frosties, I asked him if he's ok & it turns out he was off the telly & I asked where from & he said SWC Wrestling, I was a big fan of course so I got his autograph & he invited me to "join his forum lol" but I didn't, I bought some tickets to the next SWC event, the stage manager saw me & thought this guy has to be a ref, so he trained me & now I can count to three in a rhythmic fashion & that's basically it."
George: "OK, but didn't the stage manager get a trial at QPR?"
Ref: "Nah, that's a lie. It was me, when I was about 7 I was a real good footballer so QPR picked me up for a weeks trial, Ian Holloway then plays me in a friendly, so I run past 3 defenders & BAM! Top corner! And out of nowhere, Ian comes out of nowhere & decks me! I was supposed to put the ball in the other goal, but the other team was infront of it! Way too difficult!"
Matt: "MATT HARDY!"
George: "Wow, I've had this cover on 2 for about 15 minutes, got anymore stories or should we count to three?"
Ref: "I think we'll count to three... NOW!"
George is the new SWC Champion in a legit unspoiled match. George celebrates but Referee has stolen the show.
The Ref, George & Matt Hardy are celebrating in the ring. The Ref is now telling them about the time he found a fiver at Romford train station. Match of the year?
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Post by Elder Gohan on Dec 14, 2016 11:46:13 GMT -5
I thought she was dumped in the Thames, she probably got beached somewhere upstream
Matt's first reign wasn't too important tbh
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Post by Elder Gohan on Dec 14, 2016 11:44:22 GMT -5
What is a Franco Peppe Kalle anyway? there was a member of a music forum me and Beau were on in 2012 who called himself Franco Peppe Kalle cause his two favorite artists were a guy named Franco and another guy named Peppe Kalle. I listened to some FPK on youtube & it's not even the worst thing I've heard!
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Post by Elder Gohan on Sept 26, 2016 12:48:54 GMT -5
Wow, 5 years huh? I love this company full of the craziest bastards on the planet.
We are live in Romford! Last time we were here we destroyed ASDA, I wonder if we'll involve McDonalds. Oh for christ's sake...
Martin: "Hello Romford! Jeremy Kyle, you talking to any chavs lately?!?"
Jeremy: "Don't even try to take me on. 15 people died because of you, I should sack you on the spot but you have that damn contract..."
Martin: "And don't you forget it!"
Match 1: Martin vs Mystery Opponent.
Well this is a disaster... Q***n B*h. I thought we were never mentioning her again? Hang about... She SURVIVED being dumped in the Thames? Bullshit. Well, I didn't like wrestling anyways I'm off to the bookies, I ain't reporting this khazi of a match... 20 minutes later & I won 20 quid! The fans are CHEERING B*h... I haven't missed the match?!? Oh Jesus, I want to keep my lunch down. Martin "attempts" another back body drop but he can't lift B*h. Sums up both their careers, it don't matter if Adrian Smiley has MOTY tonight, the fans will remember this pile of wank.
B*h runs out the ring & is counting out. In fairness, I'd rather take the loss than be anywhere near the WORST superstar I've ever seen. I'm not exaggerating when I say I have more talent in my arsehairs...
Martin wins.
It can only get better. Next up it's...
Match 2: Womens Title: Stacey Clemmon vs "Eh Eh Eh"
Stacey: "Whoever is making those noises when I was in the hospital... SHOW YOURSELF!"
Dr Longenbaugh: "Everybody, my search for a specimen is at an end. I can finally introduce... ANNE!"
Anne: "Eh eh eh!"
Stacey: "You! It's you... You've been following me the whole time, you were the nurse!"
Anne: "Eh eh eh!" *cheap shot*
What a start to the match as Clemmon small packages Anne to a 2 count, Anne gets up & taunts Clemmon. Stacey then locks in the Sharpshooter, but Anne reaches the ropes just in time & Anne uses a brilliant counter to get up & uses a boston crab... Clemmon makes it to the ropes & this time Anne chokes Clemmon with the rope before breaking the hold. Anne throws Clemmon shoulder first into the ringpost & a roll up! 1...2....3!
ANNE IS THE NEW WOMENS CHAMPION!
Anne: "EH EH EH!" *She aggressively licks Dr Longenbaugh.*
Match 3: Commonwealth Championship: Gentleman Jim (c) vs Trumpcard
Jim grabs Trumpcard by the throat & launches him into the corner before barraging Trumpcard with strikes & shoulder charges. Jim then uses a modified STF to choke out Trumpcard, but releases the hold & stamps on his head. Trumpcard is struggling, I've never seen Jim like this, he's normally so calm but tonight he's literally beating the shit out of Trumpcard who has a cut lip. Jim now throws Trumpcard out the ring & slams his head against the steps several times & chucks him in the ring... Trumpcard then instinctly low blows Jim... DISQUALIFICATION! Jim recovers quicker & boots Trumpcard in the face before being escorted by security.
Jim: "STILL THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?!? HUH I CAN'T HEAR YOU! YOU KNOW OUR DEAL, YOU CAN'T CHALLENGE ME NO MORE!"
Shit. WENDY!
Wendy: "Cor dear, that's a sore one! Want me to kiss it better?"
Rey: yay i made it in da 5 year show yay i is da goodest guy i nt a sucka lol
BOOKER T! Again. Scissor kick, spinaroonie Booker wins.
Main Event: SWC Championship: Slenderman (c) vs Matt Hardy
Slenderman starts off by slapping Matt Hardy, a lot of delete chants going on, as Matt superplexes Slendy onto the steps, as Jake Jolson is choking out Slendy with piano wire out of the refs sight, 20 minutes pass & Jolson is sneakily double teaming Slendy. Slendy runs against the ropes, but Jolson trips him up & Matt catches Slendy in the Twist of Fate & connects. 1...2....3! MATT HARDY WINS THE SWC CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE 2ND TIME!
Whew, what a show. I'm gonna go to my car... OH SHIT! Was that a car bomb?!? I hope that weren't for me...
Fade to black. Disaster footage & softcore porn until 4-5am follows.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Sept 23, 2016 15:20:01 GMT -5
What is a Franco Peppe Kalle anyway?
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Post by Elder Gohan on Sept 11, 2016 15:21:59 GMT -5
NO! You can't make me sit through another Martin match, I won't do it! You can't make me! Stacey Clemmon is back & tonight she faces a mystery opponent. Lara Croft?!? (Shams Tremarco, all is forgiven!) This means we're taking the womens division seriously! Lara chain wrestles for a few minutes. *Lights go out* "EH EH EH!" Roll up 1...2...3! Lara wins! But what is that noise? I heard it this time... Stacey: "ALL RIGHT, SHOW YOURSELF! I'M NOT GOING CRAZY I SWEAR! COME ON!" "EH EH EH!" Rey up next Rey: no i gt beet of da animal bt dis time i win coz i rool da world... na rly i rool da world lol OH MY DOD! IT'S SYCHO SID! If you squint really hard he looks like Jeremy Clarkson tbh Rey: omg it da sid man lol Sid boots Rey. Powerbomb, win. That's the second legend to pin Rey. Dimmickdust is backstage 'Dust: "WHAT?!? THE APPLES ARE TELLING ME THAT, MY LITTLE MUMFIE IS SAD I KNOW WHAT WILL CHEER HIM UP... A BIRTHDAY CHICKEN!" Mumford: "It's not my birthday, wait? Is that a chicken with a candle in it?" 'Dust: "YES THE CHICKEN DOES NOT LIE! *breathes* Make a wish..." Mumford clocks 'Dust in the face. Mumford: "No one takes me seriously & now I'm presented with a chicken with a candle on it... Sometimes I wonder why I became a wrestler..." Oh christ, look who snuck backstage... Martin. It's bad enough he's on RAWR! but I have to see this nobhead here too? Captain: *Mid interview* "So Adrian Smiley, you can take your Smiley Splash & shove it right up your ass! Ramirez, you can take Gibraltar & shove it up your 7 foot, brain dead ass! Johnny Triplearse can shove his title shot, his medicinal herbs & his fancy words up his 400 year old ass! And Mumford..." Martin: "Well, look who it is... Captain Carpentry, you are standing infront of a future hall of famer & next world champion..." Captain: *Raises his palm up* "I just got a small, teensy weensy question... WHO IN THE BLUE HELL ARE YOU? Oh wait, you're the guy who can't even run 30 metres! How did you end up wrestling?!?" Martin: "I started when I was 10." Captain: "Started what? Wiping your own ass? Get the hell outta here, at least Q***n B*h had an iota of talent." Martin: "Sure. Whatever you say." Captain Carpentry throws Martin through a vending machine! Martin Cries. Gentleman Jim faces Spider-Man. The KOKDown fans are not happy, if we don't do something quick there's gonna be a riot. The KOKDown superstars are refusing to go out there. It seems that Martin had started the riot, can the higher ups not see him as a problem? It's getting beyond a joke as the fans are fighting eachother, seats are being torn apart & thrown security is being over ran, this is a full on riot now! *Tannoy* "ALL SWC PERSONNEL EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY!" This is bad, no really. Normally it's all jokes & fun, but tonight Martin has crossed the line, there's playing a bad guy & there's inciting a riot. The whole arena is being torn apart, THE FUCKING ARMY is here, we're gonna have to leave as we've been told to come back later... *The aftermath* Wow, the building is still standing. Barely, the bogs are trashed, commentary table wrecked, ring destroyed, offices have been torched, every room is fucked. Sgt Mandanda: "SWC has been fined a total of £50,000 on top of the repair bill, there were 305 arrests & we're sorry to report that 15 people have died in the riot. I want it to be known that this behaviour is unacceptable..." Mr Ed: "I know, but don't blame the company. It's not our fault, I didn't sign him. He started it, by winding people up." Sgt: "OK. But SWC has to take SOME blame, someone agreed to sign him somewhere! That's all I have to say on the matter." Someone is getting sacked for this (50 fucking grand...)
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Post by Elder Gohan on Sept 4, 2016 11:30:57 GMT -5
Holy shit, I'm not writing RAWR! Thank christ I don't have to sit through another shit match...
Oh wait, Rey's up first.
Rey: lol i bak wat is goin on da red show dat fatty is shitter den me lol bt i nt gt an ponent 2nite wel i herd hes an animal lol...
WAIT A MINUTE?!? IS IT?!? IT IS! ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL! HE'S BACK!
Oh what a clothesline! Followed by a powerslam 1.2.3!
Rey: yay it da roadie lol
Stacey Clemmon is being visited by her family
John: "Hey, how you doing?"
Stacey: "I can't feel my legs, hospital food sucks. Did you get my KFC?"
Todd: "Yeah, kinda hard to get it past a panda..."
*EH EH EH!*
Stacey: "I've been hearing that since I got here!"
Todd: "What is that?"
*EH EH EH!*
John: "It's probably nothing."
*EH EH EH!*
Stacey: "It's at the door! Oh it's gone..."
John: "I think you're hearing things..."
Stacey: "I swear I heard noises!"
Gentleman Jim pinned Trumpcard
Jim: "I'm just about done with you. At the anniversary show, if you lose to me again, you'll never get a shot at me EVER! Wonderkid huh? I'm wondering why the hell you're in my ring!"
Mumford is backstage. In a suit!
Mumford: "I suppose you're wondering why I've decided to put aside childish matters... You see, I've been overlooked for a title shot for too long, I held the title twice & I beat Captain Carpentry for it, NOT ONCE was I thanked or given any credit. I'm sick of being overshadowed, I'm not playing any characters anymore. Adrian Smiley, watch your back, I'm coming for you."
Dimmickdust: "Good god MAN! You used to be cool! When I heard that *breathes* Mumford had snapped, I was SOOOOO disappointed, I wanted to play dollies together, we could even unlock the secrets of the universe!"
Mumford: "You have 5 seconds to get out of my sight or I'll smash your face in."
Dimmickdust: "GIDDY UP PONY! BUH-BYEEEE~!"
Captain Carpentry: "Mumford, you bitch & whine & you bitch & whine... I STILL haven't got MY rematch & you think you can put on a cheap ass suit & have a stick up your ass & demand a title shot? Get outta here you specky nerdy poindexter BITCH!"
Ramirez pinned Johnny Triplearse.
Ramirez: "Well, well, well. It seems we have a situation... I wasn't even given a chance! Creative forgot me! How did that fat git in his office forget his own champion? Was it too much porn? Were you stuffing your face? Watching snooker highlights & playing blackjack & saying it's business? Either way I'M FIRST for a title match..."
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Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 30, 2016 13:30:47 GMT -5
I guess Rey just gave up Rey hasn't really tried since robmaniac days. Poor from the SWCCEO
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Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 30, 2016 13:29:57 GMT -5
Well our crowds have halved in about 3 weeks... I wonder why?
Womens Champion Stacey Clemmon is in a wheelchair, leaving the Sir Trevor McDonald hospital.
Wendy: "There, you should be good to go in two weeks."
Stacey: "Well, I guess I didn't land on my head. Cheers Wendy, I'll guess I'll just watch SWC TV *TODAY'S PROGRAMMING: BASTARD SQUAD! FOLLOWED BY AN HOUR OF FARFIGSCHITTER! AND THEN EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE; SOFTCORE PORN & DISASTER FOOTAGE!*
Stacey: "Looks like I'm in for a rough two weeks..."
*From a distance* "EH EH EH!"
What the? *Plant pot thrown through the window* "EH EH EH!"
We'll see what happens.
Youngster Joey pinned FunkyTown
James Bond made Peter Griffin tap out
Mr Ed: "Good evening, well I've received a few complaints these last few weeks about declining viewership & I've had to go above Jeremy Kyle and..."
Martin: "Well, well, well... You & SWC underestimated me, you don't need George or Slendy oh no! YOU GOT ME! THE BEST SUPERSTAR ON RAWR!"
Mr Ed: "Is this a joke? Get the hell outta here, I saw your debut & I nearly cried it was that bad!"
Martin: "Don't care, I won. I want a title shot."
Mr Ed: "You want WHAT?!?"
Martin: "You heard."
Mr Ed: "I'm sorry, I thought you asked for a title shot. I'll tell you this once, so listen up. FUCK OFF & FUCK OFF AGAIN YOU FAT BRAINDEAD FUCK! The developmental staff have analysed your matches, you've moved less than 3 FEET in 3 weeks & you want a TITLE MATCH?!? Mikey'll walk out before that happens."
Martin: "World Title."
Mr Ed: *Stands up & walks slowly up to Martin. SNOOKER BALLS IN A SOCK TO THE FACE!* "Don't ask again. Oh you're crying again."
George pinned The Stig.
George: "Ed, I heard the whole thing backstage. If he gets ANYWHERE NEAR the HardKOK Title, I'll quit the company. I did not bust my ass to look this great & get here today just so some rat-faced swine can saunter through matches & get paid for dick all! Yeah, don't try me guys. I'll dump this just like last year's clothing line."
*The Slenderman drives his Range Rover*
Slendy: "What the hell? This fatass wants to step up to me? Mr Ed just knocked him out & he cries, how in the blue hell do you THINK you deserve a title shot? Seriously, if he even steps foot in the same ring as me I'll walk. But first I'll kick his ass to the kerb!"
Waou! 2 superstars have threatened to quit. Jesus, this guy is a trainwreck.
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Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 22, 2016 10:14:18 GMT -5
SWC is live at Romford Town Centre! It's quite warm & why not? Tonight we have Johnny Triplearse vs Ramirez for the World Heavyweight Title! Lou faces Peter Griffin for his career! Gentleman Jim vs Trumpcard! Aaaaannnndddd.... Martin.
Whoa that was a loud boo, I felt that from here!
Match 1: Womens Championship: Stacey Clemmon (c) vs Panda
Well I guess this is what Panda wanted, it's playing a guitar! D'aww & Panda smashes the guitar over Stacey Clemmon's head! Panda roars afterward & a bearhug, this match is now underway as Panda throws Clemmon out of the ring & through the announce table, I swear every effin' PPV... Our tables aren't free you know! Panda just watches as Clemmon is out cold... Clemmon is counted out! Jesus, get Wendy! She's hurt, dammit!
Match 2: Martin vs Ronnie O'Sullivan
Ronnie: "WHAT THE HELL! I Thought I was getting a shot at Mikey, not this equally fat piece of trash. I got screwed by SWC Management AGAIN! If I don't get my title shot right now, I'll walk out I ain't fighting this guy, he's dangerous!"
Martin: "Come here & say that."
Ronnie: "Screw you. I've done more here in 5 minutes than you've done in your whole career. Actually, I will kick your arse!"
Whoa, Ronnie is wailing on the new fat kid! Mikey looks anorexic compared to this guy. Martin is refusing to sell & hits a pathetic body drop that nearly paralyses Ronnie! Martin WALKS against the ropes & incoming splash.... Ronnie rolls out the way...
Ronnie: "Oh hell no, I ain't doing this. He nearly killed me, I just landed on my bloody neck! This guy is a threat to our business & he has zero talent, Eva bloody Marie can wrestle rings around this guy!"
Ronnie then batters Martin with a steel chair, oh ffs Martin is CRYING. Why? Why did I start a wrestling company? I could've been an investment banker or I could've bought shares in a Vegas casino...
Match 3: Lou vs Peter Griffin
Peter Griffin is fighting for a Charizard Pokemon Card, Lou is fighting for his career & they're both in ASDA. It starts off & that bloody chicken comes along for one of those epic fight sequences & Lou, Peter & the chicken are just battering eachother while 80's pop music is on in the background! Eventually the fight sequence ends & Lou suffers a wardrobe malfunction & we get a glimpse of "Little Britain" Peter rolls him up, Lou has a choice career or nudity... 1...2...3!
Oh my god... Lou is retired. It's just utter chaos in Romford. ASDA is wrecked, Lou has ripped his trunks, the chicken, Peter Griffin wins a pokemon card & the worst part... ABBA is on in the background, god I fucking hate ABBA. Stick your dancing queen up your arse.
Gentleman Jim retains after KOing Trumpcard.
Main Event: World Heavyweight Championship: Ramirez vs Johnny Triplearse
Ramirez finally defends the World Title, it took a while. 6'10 & is scared of title defences. Ramirez clotheslines Triplearse & follows up with a boot to the face, Triplearse rolls out the ring & sprays powder but misses & somehow KO's the ref! Triplearse then pulls out a potion of super strength & a lead pipe, Ramirez snatches the pipe & whacks Johnny Triplearse no less than 7 times! This has to win, Ramirez lobs the pipe & the announce table is broken again. (I give up..)
It's time, Ramirez puts Triplearse into the powerbomb position, lifts... Triplearse counters with a sunset flip! 1....2....3! Triplearse with an upset! Johnny Triplearse wins his first SWC World Heavyweight Championship...
WAIT A MINUTE! It's... ADRIAN SMILEY WITH THE WANK BANK BRIEFCASE! Triplearse down... SMILEY CASHES IN! TOP ROPE SMILEY SPLASH! ANOTHER ONE FOR INSURANCE... CONNECTING! 1....2.....3! ADRIAN SMILEY WINS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! I REPEAT ADRIAN SMILEY IS THE NEW SWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
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Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 9, 2016 15:40:20 GMT -5
I guess Rey just gave up
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Post by Elder Gohan on Aug 9, 2016 15:37:43 GMT -5
Treguard was attacked by the same Datsun Cherry, who drives a piece of shit like that?
Peter Griffin: "Lou, you got away with it. This time at Heatwave... It's gonna be all the marbles, your career vs this Charizard pokemon card!"
Lou: "What a kerfuffle I've got myself into... DEAL!"
Ronnie O'Sullivan got himself intentionally disqualified against Spongebob.
Jeremy Kyle intervenes.
Jeremy: "Alright Ronnie, I get your point. You're getting bored & I can see why, you're exciting & A wonderful superstar, but I want you to wrestle properly. If you win again in tonight's main event, you'll get a shot at Mikey & the Intercontinental Title!"
Ronnie: "Aight."
Matt Hardy pinned Youngster Joey.
He's playing pokemon go! There's a sodding Pidgey in the ring...
Joey: "Yeah, a Pidgey is pretty cool. But it's not a Rattatta, my Rattatta is in the top percentage of Rattatta!"
Matt: "MATT HARDY!"
Joey: "No, 'RATTATTA!' Say it with me 'RA-TTA-TA!'
Matt: "MATT-HAR-DY!"
Uhh guys, on my desk we have plans for several new superstars & it's not looking good. "Shams" Tremarco scouted these himself & he was probably on something because these are terrible, the WORST of the lot will debut next. Just try not to shit yourself laughing at him...
James May has never laughed so hard! Introducing from some shithole somewhere, standing 6'4 & is the fattest fuck I've seen, MARTIN! He's tripped over the second rope & the whole developmental crew just facepalmed, I've just looked at "Shams" & he knows his times up, he's getting sacked in the morning. Dead crowd, James May has been dropped on his head by the worst back body drop I've ever seen. Wow, I've never seen someone SO lazy he's WALKING slowly against the ropes instead of running, it's only been three minutes & I already want to eat my own shit than never see this guy again.
James May has actually walked out of the match, he's refusing to continue... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JAMES, GET IN THE RING! Or we'll have to give him a contract...
Martin wins via count out. Balls
The development crew groan.
Martin: "ALL RIGHT I WON! MY FIRST WIN! See development I can make it as a star!"
Christ, he's delusional as well.
Ronnie won. Not going into detail, Martin's "match" pissed me off too much
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 25, 2016 13:24:04 GMT -5
Treguard pinned James Bond & then beats Luigi for the HardKOK Title. I never bothered doing a title history, it changes hands too often.
Treguard goes backstage & is ran over by a second hand Datsun Cherry.
Lou annihilated Peter Griffin.
Lou: "That's it, this sunday you & me. I lose & I retire for good!"
Peter: "Yer on!"
Well Ronnie O'Sullivan vs Spongebob is about to start but... Ronnie isn't getting in the ring, he's scratching his arse & sticking two fingers up at the cameras. Well it's ended in a count-out. Bit of a cop out really.
Ronnie: "Too easy, I'm bored."
Spongebob: "Balalalalalalala~! The snooker man can't beat this goofy goober!"
Ronnie: "Shut the hell up." *Ronnie attacks Spongebob & puts him through a table*
Ronnie: "What's a goofy goober anyway?"
James May pinned George
James: "George! I missed you old friend!"
George: "Yeah, spending all my time on KOKDown really takes it out of you. But still, I'm back where I belong on the red brand with all my beautiful fans!"
James: "I do hope one day, that we put on a classic for the SWC Title or even the title I made famous... The INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!"
George: "Me too man. Me too."
Yorghos pinned Matt Hardy
Yorghos: "Good match dude!"
Matt: "MATT HARDY!"
Yorghos: "Is that all you say? The Matt Hardy?"
Matt: "MATT HARDY!"
Yorghos: "You no say other things, just the Matt Hardy?"
Matt: "MATT HARDY!"
Yorghos: "Poor man, I have title to win. Go go boys!"
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Post by Elder Gohan on Jul 25, 2016 12:53:36 GMT -5
I think she's a random panda.
I'll give it a shot, see what happens tbh
Did I release metalpony? I can't remember
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